Letters From Away
Did Claire really have it all planned out? Did she know she was going to fall in love with a boy across the street from her childhood home? You'd think it would just be a silly coincidence they're both American, go to the same high school, and be in the same school musical together, right? Well the two have known each other for a long time, just not real bonding relationships as friends.
Claire is in love with Shawn Mars.
"Claire is in love with Shawn Mars?" Daniela asks Sam with much concern, making me really uncomfortable to listen to.
"Daniela, quit it! It's not official for me yet.." I say in quiet discreet.
"Really Claire? Do tell us about Shawn," Sam says to me with her pixie-looking hair that I've loved since the beginning of the summer. I'm not jealous I swear!
"One would only slip away and ignore what her friends would say at times of stress or in deep… LOVE!" Daniela says to annoy.
"Oh quit it. It's not like I stalk the guy. I've only known him as friends, but it's been such a long and dreaded summer for me," I say.
"More like a misconception or a cry to be in someone's arms," Sam says to us before she goes to get her breakfast. Oh, it's the morning of a Tuesday.
MORNING OF A TUESDAY
"I think you have the hots for him Claire.. you just need to admit it all along," Daniela winks at me.
".. Something like this, feels like it's away and apart from love. Maybe I just want to get to know him more and be his friend."
"I just think it's sweet you have a small feeling for someone Claire. It's been a while since.. you know."
She looks at me while saying that with a poor squint of her eyes, still sitting in her seat in the cafeteria with me, and Sam gets back with her cereal for breakfast.
I remain quiet..
Sam sits with us again with her trey of food, breaking the silence intentionally, "So they ran out of regular milk for my Lucky Charms. I had to get chocolate milk."
"Wow, that sure does suck Sam. Maybe if you would ask someone-" before Daniela could finish her sentence, I completely blocked the conversation and looked in the opposite direction where our table was facing.
Shawn had arrived finally! He always gets to school kind of late, but this time he's here for breakfast…
I just had to focus and block out any unwanted voices near me and just stare at him walk to the drama room near the cafeteria. What a sight to see in his grey zip-up jacket, walking with his black jeans and sneakers.. He just seems so…
"-hey Claire, don't daze off now! Remember we have a test for Economics later," Daniela interrupts my vision to Shawn, and back to them.
"Oh, I had.. almost forgotten."
"I don't know why they even serve chocolate milk when they only serve cereal that doesn't need it," Sam says.
"So I think the rest of this year is gonna be filled with more and more free time for us seniors! Ain't that right Sam? We only got a couple of classes to worry about, and the rest are just free time for us," Daniela says.
"Oh right! If only we could-"
Then my eyes suddenly get locked on to him again walking with a friend I haven't seen before, but he's still looking oh so great.. I just want to talk with him more is all. If only there was a way..
So my classes are pretty okay. I have a computer class in the morning along with another right after, with Economics and Math followed. Then lunch with my friends, and then I have an elective I'd rather not talk about..
Now since it's the beginning of Fall, there is a winter musical hosted by the drama club every year. That elective I mentioned? It's Theater Arts. It's where we act and play loud talking and acting games. Now I am a pretty shy person if you'd met me. My theater class teacher is the director for the musical this winter, and it just so happens Shawn is going to be in the musical, since he's been in theater since he was a freshman.
I know this because.. um, not because I stalk him or anything, that would be weird..
And I'm thinking of joining this year's musical, whatever it is, for a 'chance' with Shawn. You know, just to be friends I swear! Just friends!
THE WEEKEND
"Oh god, I don't know if I can do it.."
"Claire, this is your choice, and you cannot do it if you want to."
"I know Sam, but it's hard to decide! I really want to get into it, ya know, just cuz it's my senior year.."
"Well now's your chance!" she takes me afterschool to pick up an audition form from the drama room. Oh how nervous I feel about all this…
…
I don't think I've had time to introduce myself. I'm Claire Walls, and I lived in Toronto all my life, except where I was born in New York back in America. I like a lot of music and vintage junk, but those are just details.
Anyways, my life at this point could be actually going somewhere, despite the fact I'm actually involved in something this year and I really don't usually like being with others I don't know. I hate making new friends in other words.
The kind of music I like is kind of weird if you think about it. I like from old indie rock to new progressive and alternative music. I'm kind of changing what I listen to often.
I kind of wish I had more friends and kids to listen to and talk to, but I think I'm perfectly fine with chilling with my friends with me now. After all, I consider myself really shy. I think I already mentioned that.
"So you gonna fill out the form yet?" Sam tells me on my bed in my room, with blankets over her and I just sit on my chair of my desk looking at the paper still.
"I am still thinking… on actually filling it out."
"Well if you fill it out and turn it in, it'll give you a chance to be in the play with 'you know who'!" she throws a small pillow at me. Playfully I smile and attempt to throw it back.
"Well why don't YOU go with me!" then I get a blanket and cover her face, both of us screaming and just having fun in my room on a Saturday night.
The next Monday I had filled out the form and returned it to the director and told him I was really nervous. And I mean REALLY nervous.. I didn't know what to expect, this would be my first musical ever if I even make it..
"Alright Claire thanks for turning it in. As you know this year we will be doing the well-known musical that everyone should know at least, Gre-"
I heard the door from the way you come in from open, and it was… HIM!
I just imagined him looking at me for a split 3 seconds… THREE SECONDS! I couldn't believe he would look at me for that long, after seeing my dark blue jacket zipped up and a purple v neck underneath. My light brown hair to go with my grey Vans and blue jeans. At least I thought it matched..
That's like my casual and comfortable/usual clothing on a Monday or Thursday. Just saying.
"Hey Mr. H, I went over one of the songs and I noticed a certain high part that I can't really get into that I-" Shawn gets interrupted talking to the director from him getting a cell phone call from somebody.
"Hold on Mars, I have a call. Why don't you meet our new cast member Claire Walls," he says cheerfully and goes into his office to talk on his phone, leaving us two alone…
"Claire… I already know you," he says to me first. I think he could tell I was blushing already, from when he said that…
"Oh um, yeah… do you remember me? We lived next to each other for a long time now.." I reply nervously.
"Yeah I know the same Claire Walls I've always known. Ever since we were kids on 10th Street."
10th Street is the street we both live on, and both of us have been neighbors in that neighborhood for so long, it's hard to remember certain things now.. but that street was where memories were made.
"Yeah that's right.." I hold my satchel on my side a little tighter, feeling a little nervous. My hair just feels a little soft all of a sudden.
"Well this year we got to catch up since it's our senior year! I say we both hang out at lunch or someplace cool with friends on a weekend. I say we should be closer than ever-" I only thought how I couldn't believe what he was saying…
HE WANTS TO HANG OUT!
Then I went back to hearing what he was saying, only to realize I daydreamed for a second, and I only heard his last words of his sentence saying, "-a better and cooler time this year. Don't you think?"
I seemed a little dazed, and I hadn't remembered what he was saying, but I just agreed whatever he said and nodded with a smile following.
"All right kids off to class, its Monday remember?" Mr. H tells us after he leaves his office and Shawn looks at me.
"I guess I'll see you around Claire.. wait afterschool on Wednesday for auditions! I almost forgot," he says then waves bye to us, and leaves the room.
I only remain silent, thinking about him… then I realize he said 'auditions on Wednesday' and I said, "Oh crap.."
LUNCH TIME
"So you need a song to sing for auditions yes?" Daniela asks me with Sam next to her, all of us sitting on a lunch table.
"Well yeah.. and it's got to be a song I can actually sing or get it right.."
"Ooh! If I had a choice I would know which one to pick already," Sam says.
"If only your cousin Stephen Stills could help me out on this…"I reply.
Sam has a cousin in a band that lives in town and he's the singer/guitarist in it. They call themselves Sex Bob-omb. I've only met Stephen and Kim, the drummer of the band, which leaves some other guy on bass I think?
"I'll figure it out don't worry girls."
"Claire, you have an awesome voice. Your two best friends know that already!" Daniela says nudging Sam on her right arm.
"Thanks you two.."
"No, thank you!"
"No really, I mean it Dani."
"Yeah and I mean it too Claire."
"But I mean it first."
"And I mean it also first."
"-you can't do that!" the three of us laugh and let out a sigh simultaneously.
Then I let out a worried sigh really quick for them not to notice.
…
THE DAY CAME
I chose a song to sing for the audition. It's called Elevator by Box Car Racer. I chose it because it's the most recent song I have listened and found out about, so why not sing it in right?
The day came for auditions after school, and I was so totally not ready. I mean I practiced at home and all, but I don't know how it's all going to work.. Would anyone be watching me? What will the director think of my voice? I wonder what Shawn is going to sing…
So it became after school already and my nerves were getting on my nerves.
"Ready singer girl?" Sam says to me jokingly with a smile.
"I don't know…" I reply, both of us walking to the drama room.
"Oh I just know you're going to do great Claire! I would say you are a natural at singing!"
"Thanks Sam…"
"I really think you can do this. Hey, listen…" she grabs me by the shoulders with both her hands. "I know you got this. Okay? You are an awesome singer."
Thanks Sam. I only thought it, up until the director Mr. H. came outside from the drama room in school to see us.
"Hey there she is! Come on in and show us what you got," he goes inside the room leaving the door open for me.
"Oh Sam, I'm really nervous…"
"Claire, I believe you can get a part."
I smile a little and hold my satchel on my side tight as usual. Then I go into the drama room.
"Step into my office and you can start," Mr. H. says to me..
I nod, and my heart begins to beat fast…
I walk into his office, he closes the door behind me, and I see Shawn sitting on a couch against a wall. Then that's when I blushed red and squinted my eyes.. oh no…
"Hey again Claire, we're ready for ya," he says with his cool sitting motions. Well, sitting motion as in just sitting.
Mr. H. sits on a rolling chair next to his computer which was next to the couch that Shawn was sitting in. Both of them looking at me and waiting for me to start.
I only stand still and keep an awkward stance as they wait for me. My eyes still a little squinty and my blushed cheeks become still with red.
They smile as in 'Go ahead and start please'.
Then I only look at Shawn.
I sing the song I chose, and when I stopped, I did nothing but blush a little and just stand in front of them, waiting for them to say something.
"Wow Claire, I didn't know you had such a voice.. You sound-" Shawn says gracefully, but Mr. H. interrupts his sentence.
"-really a go-girl! You have the voice and the figure, alright Claire you are in," he says smiling and wanting to shake my hand while standing up, and I only look at them with surprised looks.
"Well thanks for coming by," he puts his hand back down, "we'll see you around, and to be announced of our schedule for rehearsal."
Shawn walks me out of the drama room and I could see my friends Daniela and Sam only feet away from the front door. Shawn talks to me.
"Hey Claire, you have such a great voice. I… never knew that about you.."
"Oh…"
"Yeah.. I never knew.." he looks at me.
"Well I'll see you later then, okay Claire?"
"Um.. yes?"
"Alright then, see ya." He goes back into the drama room slowly. Then I turn to my friends and smile at them with excitement, and they both look at me with happy faces. I walk to them about to say that I was in the play…
Then I tripped and fell forward and landed on my right arm. It hurt for only a little, but I ignored it while my friends helped me up in my clumsy state. I ignored it because I was dazed.. and I was too excited.
AND THEN, I WAITED
