Welcome to Dodo Academy for the Gifted!
by Elise the Writing Desk, Heart no Kuni no Alice by QuinRose
Edited, December 10th 2012
Dodo Bird!
One time, you have $200. And then you lost $1. But with $199, you can't buy a freaking PSVita which costs $200, right? That freakin' tiny $1 seems like everything!
But is it fair? For Alice, it isn't fair that her IQ is compared with money...not that's the case or anything. But she keeps on whining as her parents take her to her Grandma's.
"Mom, Dad, it's just one digit! Why do I have to move to a new school!?"
"Alice, cupcake, please!" Mom sobbed. "I'll miss you too, but this is the best for you! Just one digit differs you from normal kids!"
"I must have been a bad father..." dad murmured sadly. "I haven't given you the best food and education...I'm so sorry Alice. It's my fault that your IQ is only 89."
"I told you, I fell asleep during the exam." Alice tiredly retorted for the umpteenth time, then flipped the paper in her hand. "Dodo Academy for the Gifted...gifted...? Is it some kind of talent school?"
"Yes! A school for special people like you, cupcake~!" Mom smiled sweetly.
"I'm sure you'll like it there! It's near my old junior high school!" Dad laughed. "Ah, we're here!" they slowed down and stopped in front of a penthouse. "It's been a while, isn't it?"
After taking down the cargo, the three of them went to the veranda, and Dad knocked the door, while Mom fixed her outfit.
"Remember, Alice, cupcake." Mom said, "If you see a Boogeyman, don't forget to catch it with your net. And if you play in the park or at the camp, don't forget to hunt for Bigfoot. In winter, always bring your camera, so you won't miss the chance to take a picture of Yeti."
"Mom?" Alice called, "Do dodo birds exist as well? How does one look like?"
"Oh, it's a shot bird with big beak and their wings are even shorter than chicken. They're usually grey, but pink when they're babies." Mom suddenly fell silent and hugged the dark blonde girl. "Ohhh cupcake...I'll miss you!"
"We all will." Dad said reassuringly, and then the door clicked open.
...Opened by a monkey.
"Hello, Einstein!" the three of them greeted.
"Eep! Eep! Waa! Waaah!" Einstein exclaimed, clapping his feet, and then a very beautiful blonde came, staring at the three.
"Mom~!" Mrs and Mr Liddell exclaimed happily. "Long time no see!" The two approached for a hug.
But Grandma quickly moved and hugged Alice. "My little jellybean! How are you! You've been bigger, lassie!"
"I'm fine, grandma. You still look like a model." Alice commented as her grandma dragged her in. She glanced back to her parents, who were about to follow them in.
"So, mom! It's so nice—"
...slam.
"—to see you..."
~.X.~
The following day, Grandma Victorianne Liddell took Alice and Einstein to their new school—yes, the monkey counts too—Dodo Academy for the Gifted. It had big, tall iron fences painted in rainbows, with wide, green-grassed yard. There was a school bell on top of the front door.
They could hear loud children's noises from inside.
"Vicky~! I'm so happy to see you!" a pony-tailed old man greeted Granny in the lobby.
"Gowland, you're healthy, aren't you? Oh yeah, this is my jellybean, Alice!"
Gowland knelt down to reach Alice's height. "Hello, you little sweetie!"
Alice just blinked curiously. "Um...yeah. Hey there."
"How old are you?"
"Ten years old."
"Oh no...we're not astrologically matching..."
"Gowland, if you ever..."
"No, no, I'm just kidding, Vicky..."
Alice came to school with Einstein, and her hunting net. She then caught something curious...There was a purple haired boy around her age, laughing as he ran out of his class...without his pants...
An auburn haired boy ran out too, but he's crying loudly. "WAAAH! BORIS TAKES OFF HIS PANTS AGAIIN! WAAAAAHHH!"
Granny and Gowland stopped chattering. The old man then approached the crying boy.
"Sorry, Vicky! Just wait there a bit, I'm gonna take care of this boy..."
"Take your time, Gowland." Granny chuckled, and then turned to Alice, whose eyes were following the pantless boy. "Alice, what is it?"
The little girl turned to her grandma with glimmering eyes. "Grandma, I wanna go hunt something...can I?"
Granny sobbed and hugged her. "Oh, if you asked me so cutely like that, I'd die...of course you can...go ahead, have fun!"
Alice's eyes glimmered dangerously. "Let's go, Einstein!" she chirped and started to run.
"Ooo! Waa!" Einstein followed, and they turned to run out to the yard. "Eee! Eee?"
"What am I hunting?" Alice translated, smiling. "I just saw a Dodo bird! Come on! We shouldn't miss it!"
A brunette boy was running around in circle, but then Alice ran past him, making him fall.
"Ahahaha! I crashed! I crashed down! HAHAAHA!" he then stopped and glared to the girl who crashed him down. "I'm going to cut her!" he laughed and took out a knife.
"Hahaha! Ahaha! The wind feels nice!" the purple-haired boy laughed as he ran around.
"Being naked is healthy!" the purple-haired boy declared and started to run near a tree. There was a navy-haired boy reading under there he glared fiercely as the boy approached.
"Go away! This is my spot! ...And put on your pants!"
"Naa, naa, Wallflowers are lame! And I won't ever do what you tell me!"
"Einstein, I got it!" Alice Liddell shrieked as she scooped up her hunting net.
"Eeek! Eeek!" Einstein bounced amusedly.
The whole yard froze instantly. The purple-haired boy turned into a statue. The wallflower boy stifled his laughter. Alice Liddell grunted as she tried to pull her net.
"Um...Einstein, the Dodo bird doesn't want to let this boy go." Alice whined to the monkey.
The wallflower stopped and stared at her in disbelief. "Wait...that thing...wait, um, excuse me, but, what are you doing with him?" he asked politely.
Alice blinked at him. "Oh, I'm hunting a Dodo bird. Mom said that they're rare, like Bigfoot."
The purple-haired boy still a statue, the wallflower almost choked.
"Wait, you don't know what that thing is really is?"
"I know what it is! It's a Dodo bird, right?" Alice beamed brightly.
She's pointing to the thing between the purple-haired boy's legs.
"Einstein! Find the Swiss army knife in grandma's bag!" Alice yelled to her monkey, who quickly ran into the building.
The wallflower's eyes widened more, the purple-head, in which where Alice's net stuck between his legs, gasped.
"Wait, wait!" the wallflower shrieked quickly. "You can't cut it off! It's not a Dodo bird, idiot! It's his pee pee!"
Alice's face faltered instantly. The purple-head's eyes watered.
Alice stoically turned to stare at her hunting net. "It's not...a Dodo bird?"
Everyone in the yard shook their head.
Alice slowly pulled down her net. "It's his pee pee?"
Everyone nodded.
"...Where he do...and...? ...But...my net...then I just caught...his pee pee?"
...
...
...
"Waaaaah! Mooommmyyyy! Someone's trying to cut my pee pee!"
"Einstein, we're out of here! Throw away those knives!"
Alice's first day at her new school! She successfully scared the shit out of an exhibitionist boy...
This is the prologue. I broke myself, I know, kill me.
Changes: Dee and Dum were removed until further chapters.
