Minerva McGonagall was having a perfectly nice, normal day. Then, suddenly, a person emerged from nowhere.

"I'm Eliza Isabella Lily Anna Mary Sue Violet Cleopatra Hermione-and-Draco-Fan Victoria J. Potter," the woman announced, "how are you?"

"Are you a Mary Sue?" Minerva asked cautiously.

Eliza laughed. "Why of course, silly!"

Minerva pulled out a sniper rifle and shot the Sue sixty times, then used a grenade just to be extra sure.

"Albus! You forgot to spray the castle with Raid again!"