:~:~:~:
The aroma of spices and cooked dishes still lingered in the air of the kitchen, the stirring of the frying pan was the only sound that was heard as the man kept mixing away, pausing to taste, then continues with the repetitive pattern.
It was two a.m.
His dark blue eyes brewed with concentration as he watched the food that was set on the plate, a scowl was drawn over his face as if the food did something wrong, not meeting his expectations. The man sighed and ran a hand through his messy sleek raven-jet hair before grunting and dumping the food contents down the waste bin.
There was something wrong.
Not particularly the food that was wrong, but something else, an unexplainable phenomenon that has started to occur deep with in his chest, his heart beating almost rapidly enough to drum out of his rib cage. Yes but why?
Simple: Anxiety. Is he anxious about his new business? About his new menu he decided to make out of the blue?
Or was it that he was engaged? He would be married to a woman that from years back he would never picture being married to. Not the one that he pictured anyway.
Like any one he has been in love before, he had high expectations, he had dreams. But Life is cruel and he couldn't have it all. Do you choose your job, the success you will receive, or the girl you love?
By now it's obvious which ones he picked. And it's inevitable that he is started to regret or feel remorse, but if that's what he chose then shouldn't this young man just deal with it?
He looked over at the clock "Two-fifteen" he muttered quietly "Juvia is going to kill me"
He checked his phone and sure enough 3 missed calls from "Juvia", the woman he has been with for three years, the woman who helped with his business.
The woman he was going to marry. He groaned and took no time before punching numbers and waited for her to receive his call. He waited. She answers by the fourth ring.
"Hello?"
"It's me."
"You know what time is it?"
"I'm sorry" is all he could say.
"You say that every time"
"And I mean it every time. I'm just stressed and lost count of the time, O.k.? Don't get mad" he reasoned, too tired to argue as the fatigue was starting to get to him.
You can hear her sigh from the other line "I'm not mad, I'm just tired. Ever since we got engaged you've been distant, I hardly see you." Her tone seemed sad and restless "Do you even want to be with me, Gray?"
Gray felt his throat suddenly go dry, he looked down ashamed and gulped "I do. Please don't think that" he rubbed his temples trying to recollect his emotions. He says that, but why did it take him so long for him to respond? Luckily she didn't notice.
"Okay. Sorry it's just the nerves. Will you be coming back now?" she asked with some hope roaming after she finished.
Gray furrowed his eyebrows and took a moment before he replied, "No, I got some things to do in the office that I need ready in the morning. Don't stay up too late"
"Okay" she said disappointed "Night Love you." "Night" and he clicked the red button.
He felt relieved. He walked straight towards his office, which was near the back of the restaurant, HIS restaurant and found his comfortable swivel chair in its usual place. He slumped himself in it, he closed his eyes and relaxed. Old memories were flooding.
Here's the back-story, lets go back 9 years before, where Gray was just an average fifteen year old boy, where he was young, reckless, and had hopes in becoming a chef and owning a restaurant like his father.
That was his plan, that was what he wanted to do, he made sure nothing got in the way and made sure everything go precisely on his road to victory. He didn't think he would fall in love, fall in love with someone and manage to lose it.
She was incredible.
:~:~:~:
It was his fifteenth spring, he was crowded around by his usual friends, nothing in particular has happened besides the usual antics and gossip.
From what he has heard, apparently his best friend Natsu made a new friend, she was nothing like the usual girls they've met.
Her name was Lucy.
She hardly tried but the moment Gray first saw her a few days before, he felt an inexplicable feeling. Something that warmed his heart, some thing that made his mouth fall a gape. And all she did was smile at him.
She was too cute.
Not that it mattered now, she was Natsu's friend, and she was new to the school so knowing Natsu he probably wanted to help her out. Now they were best friends as if they known each other for years.
It didn't matter. It didn't matter. Gray tells himself but that doesn't stop him from feeling an ache in his chest. It didn't take long before Natsu invited her to where everyone hung out at lunch.
That day Gray finally met her. The girl everyone was talking about, the girl who seems to grab Natsu's attention.
'He likes her' he thought. It was more of a statement to him. But he didn't understand why it bothers him so much, to see her laughing with Natsu, Natsu staring at her with those eyes. 'What's so great about him?' he thought angrily.
'It's not like he's special' he took a quick glance at them goofing around, the echo of her laugh repeating itself in his ears. So he did what any normal fifteen year old boy would do in times like this.
He decided to butt in their conversation. It ended rather unwell.
After merely talking ten minutes with her, mostly angry at the fact that when he teased Natsu she went to defend him, he had bitter thoughts about Lucy, and was starting to feel better about himself thinking that this girl was nothing special compared to the next girl.
'She wants Natsu, she could have him' he thought proudly.
'So why was I so mad about?'
~:~:~:
But though he made this statement about Lucy, he didn't think he would spend so much time with her, learn more about her, her habits, her quirkiness, and her talents. She became something to him after they got to know each other (After they reconciled from their first meeting which ended badly as said before), and he liked her, though that's all he felt about her. He liked her.
As a friend, at least that's what he tells himself.
Also Natsu seems to be interested in her, so having dangerous thoughts about Lucy is strictly forbidden.
Not if he could help it that is.
Still he couldn't help but feel the jitters when he was around her, he couldn't wipe that goofy grin off when he was the reason that made her laugh. He couldn't stop the swarming thoughts he had of her at night, before he went to bed.
He couldn't, and it became overbearing. Why was this happening? And why did it only continue to grow the next day he sees her?
Gray tries to ignore it, tries to ignore the feelings, and plants himself in the kitchen as a distraction, to stop him from thinking about the girl with big brown eyes. And a smile he would kill for.
Spending three months with her was all it took; she only needed three months to cast her spell on him.
It only took three months to stop denying it; he was falling for her hard.
Yet did he have a chance? Natsu was a much closer friend to her, would she date a guy who is more into cooking than sports?
Would she even consider him? Or should he just stay friends with her?
'Friends' he mumbled unsure of himself. It left a bitter taste on his tongue as the words flew out.
He knew he didn't want that.
~:~:~:~
Time goes on, and it was six months later and he was still thinking about her, grabbing any chance he gets to get close to her. Yet time doesn't stand still it moves forward and so do other people. His studies, his cooking classes at night, and managing to snag Lucy for a bite to eat were all that was on his mind. He didn't have to think about what comes next.
It wasn't until a sudden move, a new transfer that turned his life into jumble of knots.
"You're moving?" he asks, with some demand for an answer from the tall guy with dark eyes who sadly smiled in front of him.
The guy slumped his shoulders down with his hands in his pockets "Yeah"
"For fucks sake Natsu, why now? We just started High school!" Gray countered, angered.
"No need to get angry, it's been done and there's nothing I can do about it now" he sighed while looking out from their usual spot in the soccer field, watching the sun starting to set with its crimson orange and pink hues.
Gray looked down "Who else knows?"
"You, and a few others…" he paused with a look of remorse "And Lucy" he breathed out.
Gray shuddered at the way his friend spoke her name, "How did she react?" he asked cautiously, afraid to hear the answer.
Natsu slightly smiled "She said she would miss me, and promised we would write to each other, and call" he briefly stated "Man am I going to miss her."
Gray grimaced "Yeah, she's one you couldn't forget about. But are you all right … just leaving her?" he asked trying not too sound too obvious on his own worries 'Does he like her?' he thought
"Well of course I'm a bit disappointed that I couldn't stick around but I'm not mad, hey she's got you so it's not like I'm leaving her alone" he replied chuckling "You two will do fine without me, just stick to her like glue. You don't want to let her go"
Gray sucked in a big breath of air "Wait, you don't—"
"No, Gray I don't like her like that" Natsu replied smiling like an idiot "You're the only one who thought so" he said with beaming mischievous eyes.
Gray blushed and looked away "S-shut up! I just thought because you guys w-were s-so close..." he stammered unable to finish his sentence.
Natsu laughed " Yeah maybe at one point I did like her…" he waited purposely to see his good friend stiffen at his words "But now I just love her like a sister Gray." Gray sighed a breath of relief which didn't go unnoticed by Natsu "But I do know someone who likes her…" he started.
Gray whipped his head around to face Natsu "Who!?" he asked with some urgency and seriousness. Natsu grinned, "Yeah this guy likes her a lot, but he's a big idiot. She could do better if you asked me," he said teasingly.
"Well yeah! Of course she can do better than any guy! No guy deserves her! She's Lucy! Who is this guy?"
Natsu couldn't contain his laughter "I'm staring at him right now"
Gray stopped his remarks and just looked away sheepishly "Stupid, I don't like her—"
"Oh you know that's a bunch of rubbish and don't go denying it. Especially to your friend who you might not see until next summer" Natsu replied to him quickly.
Gray didn't know what to say, so he continued to watch the sunset.
After a few moments he asked shyly "How did you know?"
"It's written all over your face" Natsu deadpanned "But don't worry, Lucy may be smart but she's dense as a rock so she probably doesn't know"
Gray nodded "So you don't mind if I…." the corners of his mouth started to tug upward at the mere thought of it "If I asked her out?"
Natsu scoffed "Of course not! Quite frankly go ahead be my guest! I would feel relieved if I hear that you guys end up dating. That way I know I left both of my best friends happy"
Gray shook his head in disbelief "I still can't believe it, for the past year I thought you had a thing for her!" he grinned, as if the thought was a now hilarious joke, when few minutes ago it was something that haunted him "But to hear that you think of her as your sister… you don't know how happy I am!"
"Hey! To think that you thought you didn't have a chance bothers me quite a bit" Natsu paused "And hey, now that you know you're in the race, don't think you can win it just yet, you still have to get her to fall for you" he smirked "Are you up for that?"
Gray embarrassed at his idiocy only nodded "Yeah"
Natsu rung his arm around his friend's shoulder, he patted it in assuring way "Good. And if I ever hear that you break her heart. I'll kill you"
"Don't worry, I won't. I just wished I didn't have to find out the moment you leave," he said sadly, "But thanks man"
"Consider it as a going away present" his friend replied. "Now how bout we play a game before I'm shipped off huh?"
"Sounds good."
~:~:~:~:~
Words got him through, laughs have got him through, her dimples that show up when she smiles got him through.
But he couldn't explain it, and the frustration only grew and grew when he waited too long to grab an opportunity.
"Why are you with him when he only causes you heartbreak?" he asked agitated, Lucy frowned and turned her head towards him with her blonde locks bouncing off of the autumn wind "Why are you with her, if you complain about how clingy she is?" she hissed.
Gray clicked his tongue, caught in his own coward ness. So he didn't take Natsu's advice and advanced forward, now he has to live with it. She has someone now, and cooking didn't help to distract the pain, so he did what any sixteen-year old boy would do, try to move on with another girl.
"That's completely different from what I'm telling you," he pointed out half smiling at her, knowing she couldn't stay too mad at him. She shook her head and glared at the ground "It is not!" she retorted.
"This guy is bad news Lucy," they were sitting on grassy hillside and just below them was the lake. He grabbed a pebble that was beneath his palm and skidded it across the deep blue water. It skipped three times before making a clunk sound.
Lucy did the same, but it skidded more nicely skipping five times. She was always good at skipping stones Gray remembered.
"Please don't tell me what to do Grumpy" she said with amusement while rolling off the Nickname she gave him. He chuckled "But I mean it, I just want you to be happy. I care about you" he held in his breath afraid that she would hear more truth in his words.
She looked down "You don't like me that much" she whispered.
"What was that?" "Nothing"
He kept quiet; his lips were pursed before reverting his attention back to the lake, where he and Lucy spent the majority of their summer. "Just do yourself a favor and break up with him"
"I'll take your advice if you yourself does it" she scoffed. He was shocked and raised an eyebrow at her "Now what does me and Lily have to do with you and Bora!?" he half yelled gripping a patch of grass. Lucy was looking the other direction trying to avoid Gray's penetrating stare.
"What do you think?"
He rolled his eyes, "Why do you care?" feeling irritated. 'It's not like you cared about me in that way' he thought annoyed. Lucy stayed silent, only the cool wisps of air were heard.
She buried her head into her arms trying to stifle a sob "Gray…" her breath hitched and was caught in her throat. His heart started pounding just hearing the heartache from her tone, and he couldn't do anything about it.
"I'm afraid," she said, silently wiping away the tears that managed to fall out "I'm afraid of this feeling..." she bit her lip
He only shrugged his shoulders "Is this feeling good or bad?"
"Both."
'She might love him' he sadly thought. "Is this guy really worth your time? He's not worth it if I have to come to your rescue every time something goes wrong"
She laughed "Yeah, he might be," she scrunched herself together bringing her knees up to her chest "But I shouldn't love him" she mumbled "He can't know how I feel" she half whispered, intentionally saying it softly so Gray wouldn't hear, but he did.
"What do you mean he doesn't know how you feel? You guys have been going out for two months! He should know by now what your feelings towards him are" he muttered half disgusted and half angry. 'I would have treated her so much better than this idiot'
She sniffled, "Gray, you're really dense"
He huffed up his chest in annoyance "Gee sorry, I'm just trying to help you out". His back pocket started vibrating; he took out his phone that for some reason wouldn't stop ringing. He scrunched up his face trying to read the contact on the screen.
'Lily' he groaned. He looked back to where Lucy was but to see her all ready standing up and heading the other way. "You better get that" she called, power walking towards town.
"Lucy wait!"
"No it's okay Grumpy" she tried laughing but her voice cracked "I'm fine. Just talk to your girlfriend okay?" she was now running. He frowned, sensing that she might be running away from him.
"Lucy"
:~:~:~:
He punched the wall next to him, 'what a stupid move' he thought for his knuckles were bruised and bleeding. Natsu looked at him with pity; he got an early vacation and decided to visit while on his day off.
"So I'm sensing there is no progress"
Gray looked down, he rubbed his hand in effort to comfort it, and he winced after a single touch from his fingers. "It's just not the same, everything's changed. " he furrowed his eyebrows "We hardly talk and I don't know what happened"
Natsu sighed; he ruffled Gray's hair in attempt to cheer him up. "It's been a month. How could things possibly change?" his friend asked. He was all ready detailed in of Gray and Lucy's last confrontation, which was five month ago. And things changed since then. Like for example Bora and Lucy are history. But of course he still didn't understand how that could affect his two good friends.
Gray scoffed "We went from best friends to only saying hi in the hallway Natsu!" Gray blurted.
Natsu looked at his friend sympathetically, but of course he knew more than what he was letting on.
Since he does know Lucy's side of the story.
"So..." he started "When will you break up with that Daisy chick?" he asked bitterly.
Gray rolled his eyes "Her name is Lily" he corrected.
Natsu crossed his arms "Whatever, Lily, Daisy. I don't trust girls with flower names. It makes you think they are all sweet and innocent but in reality they're actually snakes that are mistaken as roots*"
Gray wanted to burst out laughing but he knew what his friend was implying "What's your problem with Lily!?"
"You're not happy with her" Natsu responded simply.
Gray gritted his teeth "SO?" he asked, not trying to deny it.
"I want you to be happy! Break up with the girl!"
Gray sighed, "I know what you're getting at. What's the point of breaking up with her? To chase after a girl who doesn't love me and be heart broken all over again?"
He paused for a breath and continued, "I mean you're 500 miles away but she still talks to you, she likes you more than me, I don't have that with her anymore and I don't have a clue why" his voice was starting to get restless as much as every joint in his body.
Natsu raised an eyebrow "You know that's a bunch of Bull Gray. That's not an excuse to stay with a girl you have no feelings for what so ever" he kicked a piece of rubble that was in the dirt "You're not only hurting her but yourself"
Gray stayed quiet, his silence starting to aggravate his friend that you can even hear the annoyance starting to evince through Natsu's voice "I understand, but you know there is more to the story! Some days I'm super pissed at you and I just want to go over there and smack you senseless because you don't know anything, but then I also want to tell you that there's something big waiting for you, if only you tried to get there that is."
Gray chose to ignore the comment and changed the subject "Where the hell did you get your philosophy on girls with flower names?"
Natsu rolled his eyes, "You need to read—" Gray was about to retort but Natsu cut him off "—besides cook books." He smirked "If you did then you would've known I made a reference to Macbeth and the Great Gatsby"
"Tch" but he still grinned. Leave it to Natsu, master of Literature to squeeze in some classics during a pep talk. Oh joy.
Gray sighed, going back to their conversation "What do you mean by that? By trying?"
Natsu gave him a half smile, "I mean you're too safe, you want to be content with the way things are and believe that's how it should be. That's not how life is, to make things good, to make yourself be happy, you have to make things happen, and you have to take that risk to lunge after it"
"What if I'm afraid of to fall?" his friend questioned
Natsu just snorted, "Then you don't have the right to complain, or say you're in love"
Gray gulped and paced himself in the kitchen, his friend was right, even before he left, Natsu told him to not let Lucy go and grab the chance. How he felt himself stupid for not believing in his friend's words.
"How is she?" he asks
Natsu sighed, ruffling his pink luscious locks in agitation, and in sadness "She's fine. Why're you asking me when I live all the way over there? GO TALK TO HER."
"I can't"
"Damn it you're both the same" Natsu muttered.
"Who?"
"No one. I just wish people were more honest with their feelings, things would be less complicated if they were"
Gray couldn't help but chuckle "Yeah, I believe you"
Natsu looked out, watching the clear blue sky he once daydream upon watching
"Do you love her? I mean Lily"
Gray shifted his feet feeling uncomfortable, "No…" he answered truthfully. Natsu smiled.
"Do you love Lucy…?"
Gray gulped, his face turned scarlet for a millisecond before responding, "I-I don't know"
"Well guess what Gray? I don't think you do"
He looked at Natsu, shocked and almost angry "What the hell. You know how long I have loved this girl." He glared at him "And you dare tell me that I don't?"
Natsu laughed, yes laughed while his head tilted back "Because you're a wimp"
"What the fu—"
"Oh shut it. Until you grow a pair I shouldn't feel pity for you" he looked the other way half muttering "Feel pity for the both of you"
"What was that?"
"Nothing"
It was silent for a brief minute, Gray unclenched his fists and relaxed his jaw before replying, "What do you mean you don't think I do?" he raised a brow.
Natsu gave him that crooked smile, the one that girls would drool over a year ago "This is not really a problem. You won't make the first move, but that's just how we move forward; one opportunity leads to another, just as risk leads to more risk, life to more life, and even death to more death" he shrugged "If you're not willing to make that step and to take that risk then you have no right to say that you're in love"
Gray looked at him open mouthed, he was speechless so all he did was nod. His head hurt and his heart continued to drum it's beat.
Natsu was right.
"You need to stop being so… you" was all he said.
Natsu grinned "*Zusak my friend. You need to fucking read a book once in while too"
:~:~:~:
Was it mentioned that time flies fast? That was a rhetorical question because no matter what has been said it's still true, only on ever-rare occasions will that statement be proven invalid.
One of those moments might pop up now.
Gray looked at her with wide eyes, she looked away feeling flustered. She hated it when he looked at her like that; she felt her whole wall crumble from his dark blue eyes. She spent so much time building it up what was the point to having it falter from just one mere look from this boy?
"Come on Lucy tell me!" he pouted.
"No" she laughed, "I'm not telling~"
He scowled before plopping himself down on the grassy hill patch "Well could you give me a hint?" he asked. He watched her with keen eyes while a frown was forming. Lucy was acting rather strange than usual. After a month passed by did they finally reverted to their usual routine and were now talking again much to Gray's relief.
She eyed him quietly "What's it to you Grumpy?" she teased. He only grunted while running a hand through his dark black hair "Nothing"
Well they were almost okay. After Gray broke things off with Lily is when they actually pitched back their friendship and got over their awkward confrontation. But Gray still felt something was up, for one Lucy never mentioned to him why she broke up with Bora until today. She mentioned that she was in fact in love with somebody else so she broke it off with him.
Which is driving Gray to the point of feeling insane and wondering who the lucky bastard is.
"Why not Lucy? This guy must be something special for you to call a quits with Bora"
She bit her thumb; looking at her surroundings "I knew I shouldn't have told you that"
"Why? Why couldn't you tell me?" he pressed on. Gray finally got his best friend back after pushing forward for a month. And he's has to get her. No exceptions.
But he didn't think someone would be standing in his way. And what makes it difficult is that he doesn't know who it is.
"Why don't you go out with him?" he asks, but the look on his face seems defeated. Lucy breathed in a cold fresh of air before replying "He doesn't like me. That's why"
"And how do you know that?" he pulled his head back trying to get a good look at the sky, releasing some anger.
"I just know," she says quietly,
"Have you ever asked the lad?"
She looks down ashamed, playing with her fingers "No. But I just know okay?"
He laughed, "Do you want to be with this fellow?" he couldn't help but have resentment in his tone. Will one day he get his chance? He's almost 17 and he's still in love with the same girl he laid eyes upon in the spring of his fifteen year.
"Of course!" she replied with a bitter smile "But if he doesn't want to be with me that's okay too. I don't want to make him unhappy, so I tried to keep my distance from him."
"Well that's stupid"
"What?" her face was a mixture of feelings; anger, hurt, and also shocked, and surprised from his words.
He licked the bottom of his lip, trying to think of a way to answer her "It's just that, that's what you want, what if the guy doesn't want that? What if he thought he did something horrible to you if all of sudden you disappear from his life?" he answers her, and he meant those words. That's what he felt for an agonizing five months, conjuring up ideas on how he offended her but couldn't come up with the right answer.
Gray shook his head and then ruffled up her hair with a smile; he couldn't deny that look on her flustered face that she indeed loves this person. How blind was he back then to not realize she was talking about someone else when they were last here?
The pit of his stomach started to hurt, he held his abdomen trying to comfort the pain but it was a pathetic attempt. He finally decided to end this stupid chase and to finally grab Lucy's heart. It took him a while to get things back in rhythm but now what to do?
She is clearly in love with someone else, he has no chance, and so what was the point? He just has to accept that he waited too long. He's going to turn seventeen in three months. Just proof that time wasn't easy on him and didn't give him any slack.
So what to do? His gaze wandered towards the baby blue sky, half wondering whether to do it, or to finally let go of her. She should be happy, happy with the one she wants to be with. He should be happy. The corners of his mouth tugged upward 'I bet Natsu would say "You have to make your own happiness" or some shit like that' he thought amused.
Before he could ponder more on his decision a quiet voice interrupted his train of thought. Gray snapped up from his reverie and turned to meet light brown eyes looking quite sad and unsure.
"Sorry what?"
She sighed and shrugged "I said it doesn't matter though."
He furrowed his eyebrows "What do you mean by that?"
She gave him a sad smile "Because…" she trailed off "He doesn't like me like that"
He wanted to snort in response at the same answer he has been receiving from her, a guy that wouldn't like Lucy? That was unheard of "I doubt it" he laughed, "He probably has a secret crush on you or something" he said short and looked away sheepish.
She giggled "Yeah I wish" she rubbed her arm nervously "But I'm okay with it. I mean if he's happy then I-I'm happy" her voice cracked and she tried to laugh it off "I mean yeah I do love him but it's pointless to pursue a fruitless love."
Gray said nothing; half heart broken but he knew what she meant. But she's clearly unhappy with the situation. He heaved a breath of air before making a decision on what to do.
"Lucy, how would you know this guy does not like you?" he grinned at her "You won't know until you try"
She looked at him suspiciously "He just doesn't okay?" she frowned "I don't want to be rejected Gray"
He only shook his head "But see how would you know if you didn't try? You would lose many opportunities with that mindset! You should go after him I bet you he likes—No. He's completely in love with you Lucy!"
She looked at him skeptically.
"You're not honest with your feelings" his voice was hoarse and husky, he didn't notice it caused shivers to go down her spine. The corners of his mouth started to tug upward, hearing his words fly so carelessly from his mouth.
He remembered when he used to deny his feelings for the said girl.
He remembered how he would always cook up a new dish in his dad's kitchen when he didn't know what to do after he heard she had a boyfriend.
He remembered how he couldn't sleep; tormenting himself with bad thoughts that he lost her.
He wasn't honest with his feelings, but those were the mistakes in the past, today was the present, today he knew what to do.
He was so over whelmed with his thoughts that he didn't hear her speak, again, "I guess you're right" she chuckled. He snapped out of it and looked at her.
"But I can't help who I am in love with. I always take the small moments I had with him as something more. I should've known they were only moments of us, not actually meaning anything," she said not noticing Gray was inching closer
She looked at him, blushing suddenly realizing how close they were. She could feel his breath on her lips. Tempting. Yet she didn't know he was yearning for her lips to crash against his. She thought that she was the only one thinking that.
"Have you ever felt that way?" she asks, her breath caught in her throat afraid of what he would say next.
He smiled 'I know exactly how you feel' he thought "Of course" he muttered, not taking his eyes off of her. She felt small, but also safe. He wrapped an arm around her bringing her close, afraid she would shrug it off but she didn't.
Gray knew what he had to do after seeing the look she gave him. He didn't care if she was in love with someone else, she wasn't fighting back, she didn't push him away, and he loved the electric feeling her skin did to his arm, making goose bumps slide across it.
He loved the warmth she seemed to radiate to his body, making the butterflies in his stomach flutter quickly, emerging to Fireflies, glowing warmth that flew to his chest.
He was content and didn't want this moment to end.
"Lucy?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't get mad at what I'm about to do next" he says, she looked up at him confused. Unable to feel the rest of her body, as if on instinct it told her to not move.
"Why?"
"Just please. Don't take it the wrong way. I just need to do this okay? You can do whatever you want afterwards but don't get mad" he placed his fingers upon her cheek caressing it "Okay?"
She blushed but nodded "Okay"
And for a fleeting moment, she smiled and closed her eyes shut, hoping and wishing that one day he would kiss her already.
And He did.
She was surprised at the lovely feeling that was starting to caress her lips. And she couldn't help the tears that streamed down from her eyelids to the bottom of her chin.
And was disappointed when his lips disappeared from hers, why did he stop?
"Lucy" he whispered. God how she loved the way he said her name. But she didn't want him to talk now. No, she wanted him to take her, take her lips, to taste his sweet, subtle irresistible lips again.
He couldn't catch his breath. 'What a bold move' Gray thought, he knew it would be a mistake on his behalf but he didn't care.
Because he just kissed the girl of his dreams, and he doesn't regret it one bit.
"I love you, and this is what I mean by being honest with your feelings."
"Gray—"
"Do you know how long I wanted to do that? But I just wanted to show you that this is how things happen. You make them happen. I didn't want to be a hypocrite saying all these things and not doing them myself."
"Gray—"
"Lucy, you can be mad, it's okay I just had to do that. I understand if you don't feel the same way, but please can we still be best friends?" he asked, his voice shaking, his actions catching up with him and afraid to hear her answer.
She laughed; he looked at her oddly confused with her response "Damn it Gray! Would you be so nice to let me talk?"
He blushed and gave her a sheepish grin "Oh right"
She sighed "Good" she looked at him and he suddenly he felt conscious of her bright eyes.
"So umm" he fidgeted still waiting for her to respond. He watched her intently, trying to guess what she would do.
To his lovely surprise she smiled at him and gave him a look he has never seen her with. Not with Bora, not with her friends, not even with Natsu.
This made him feel warm inside. Something he has with her that no one else did. And she was doing what he always wanted her to do, to look at him and no one else.
"Gray, I um...I-I was s-ssurprised by um that…" she stuttered embarrassed, he couldn't help but grin, the way she was acting was cute for him to not realize.
"A-and I d-didn't know y-you felt that w-way about me," she mumbled unsure, but you could see the excitement in her eyes. Her face was glowing with happiness.
"Lucy don't need to recap what had just happened" he interrupted. She gave him a stiff nod, and took a deep breath, "Yeah I suppose you're right"
"Again, you don't have to like me or return my feelings I just wanted you to know. So don't stress you—"
She couldn't take it anymore and tackled him to the ground, her arms wrapping around his neck as they both stumbled backward and landed on the soft green grass.
"Gray stop talking" she grinned at him, he looked at her baffled but said no word, afraid he would ruin the moment or realize too quickly that this may be a dream.
"Do you really love me?" she asks, her Lucyness has faded away and she gave off the feeling of a lost girl, in love.
"I love you," he repeated.
She snuggled herself closer to his chest, hiding her face from his view, but he could feel her lips turning into a smile.
"Then you should know, that I love you too. For the longest time."
He lay there with her on his chest. He stayed that way for what seemed forever. He couldn't quite believe it, and he couldn't describe just how happy he was.
For the only thing that echoed in his mind was her whispers repeating themselves in his ears.
I love you.
:~:~:~:
"Yo, what's up?" Natsu answers with the phone in one hand and a pencil in the other, trying to write his thesis for a research paper.
"She's mine"
"Pardon?" Natsu asks indifferently twirling his pencil with much concentration.
"Natsu, it's official we're going out" he could hear his friend from the other line.
Natsu dropped his pencil in shock; he stared at the wall for a few seconds before…
"IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU GUYS GOT TOGETHER!"
:~:~:~:
He looked at him skeptically with eyebrows raised in surprise, "You're leaving?"
Gray made no response as he was rummaging through his closet for more clothes to put in his suitcase, "Yeah." Was his only response.
Natsu gritted his teeth, "Do you mind telling me? Did you at least patch things up with Lucy?"
Gray continued with his search for socks, he didn't dare meet Natsu's eyes; "I decided not to fix things with her."
His eyes widened, "WHAT?"
Gray sighed, "It's for the best. Her hating me. She deserves someone better."
"WHAT THE HELL." Natsu yelled, slamming his fist against the wall, "You want her to hate you? Over a misunderstanding? She thinks you were cheating on her!"
Gray looked away, "And I reassured her that I wasn't."
Natsu glowered, "Yeah and I know that you didn't! But that doesn't mean you had the right to treat her like crap during your relationship! She loved you! She still does! Doesn't that matter?"
He frowned, his blue eyes softened, "Believe me it's better this way. Don't you think I know that? That I have been neglecting her for my studies, that I have been giving her the cold shoulder? I know that. That's why she should hate." He paused, looking away remorsefully, "—she should hate me. She should move on and find someone better."
"Gray." Natsu sighed.
"That's why I told her to break up with me."
Natsu's eyes widened in horror, "Wha—"
"We have talked about this before. In the beginning in our relationship" Gray offered, "I wonder if she still remembers…"
"But you guys didn't…?"
Gray shook his head, "It wasn't the idea of breaking up. Just that it would be okay to break up for when the time comes. At least that's what we said when were seventeen." He gave a bitter laugh.
"The time comes for what?" Natsu asked, looking at him sadly.
"When I can't protect her anymore." His lips trembled downward, "When my love isn't enough to do a simple thing such as protecting her."
"Then why are you doing this?" he asked frustrated. "Why? You didn't cheat on her with that girl! And if you just explain to her why you haven't been around lately—"
"She knows Natsu." Gray replied calmly, "She knows I've been busy with work and school. She knows that I didn't cheat on her. She knows."
"Then…"
"That still doesn't excuse that I mistreated her for a year. I fucked up. I treated our relationship like it meant nothing!" anger filled his eyes, "I used to treat her like she was the most precious thing in the world, and I wanted her to be mine! To be her first love and last! And you know what happened Natsu?" his voice rose.
Natsu stayed silent, pitying his friend, "I'll tell you what happened! The guy she first fell in love with is gone! He's become a jaded adult and took out his frustration on her and abandoned his girlfriend!"
"Gray. It's not too late." He whispered.
"Y-yes it is." His voice cracked, he sat himself down, a palm over his face, gritting his teeth so he couldn't make a sound.
Natsu could only stare, in the years he has known Gray, he was a strong and capable person. Never once has he seen the guy cry or break down. Until today.
"So you mean…"
"Yeah." Gray sniffed, he tried to bear a grin but it looked like a sad smile once he removed the hand that covered his face, tears streaming down his face. "She broke up with me."
:~:~:~:
A year ago:
"Hey Lucy," Gray grinned at her, beckoning her to come over. Lucy gave him a shy smile before running towards him, his arms enveloping her.
Gray couldn't help with his smile. It was so big and he felt warm, everything just felt right when Lucy was in his arms. He wanted this to last forever.
His smile faltered at the word 'forever' though, could they last that long? They have only been dating for five months with no issues. But what would happen if they did break up?
Gray shook his head, he didn't want to think about such things, but they should talk about it no?
"Gray?" Lucy asked with a worried expression, "Is everything okay?" she looked at him. Gray merely sighed, "Lucy," his voice went serious.
Lucy flinched, not liking the ominous tone that Gray used, "Yeah?"
"I just want to tell you. That it's okay for you to break up with me."
"What? You wan—"
"No. I don't. But if you ever feel like things are not working out and that you can't handle this anymore. It's okay for you to break up with me."
"What's gotten into you?" she gave him a sad expression, "I love you, I want to be with you and I don't want to break up with you."
Gray blushed but it quickly faded away, with the thumping of his heart going rapidly at a pace that even a mouse would be confused. The beat was ringing in his ears. He loved this girl. Hopefully, if fate would allow it, he will marry her one-day too.
He hugged her, causing the girl's cheeks to be painted a rosy pink. "G-gray?"
"There will be a day that maybe you don't want to be with me and we will break up." He sighed, "But I don't want that. And only the future holds what will come so we won't know for sure if our paths will continue the way they are."
He locked eyes with her, blue vs. brown; they could mesmerize him forever.
"But if that day comes and we break up just know this."
She looked at him patiently, waiting for his answer, he smiled brightly at her, meaning each and every word: "Even if we break up, I will still love you."
:~:~:~:
Lucy looked at the black night, her eyes red with puffiness. She hasn't come out of her room. Today will be the day that Gray leaves. He finally managed to grab a scholarship and spot to attend Le Cordon Bleu; a culinary school in France.
Lucy smiled sadly, she's proud of him. All that hard work over the year paid off. Even if he did put school first over her she didn't mind. He was going after his dream. He wasn't waiting for the day when things will work out for him. He grabbed it, and now his someday is tomorrow; where he will be in class with others learning the art of cooking and all their other specialties.
She only wished she could tell him that she's proud and that she's happy for him and hopes that he will succeed in the near future.
And that she still loves him. "I'm so stupid." She sobbed, wiping away the tears from her cheek. "I wonder does he still remember?"
"Even if we break up, I will still love you."
Lucy looked at him softly, before giving him a peck on the cheek, she started caressing his face and hair. "Same for me." She spoke softly, "Even if we do break up one day." She looked down, "I will still love you regardless."
Gray looked taken back before giving her a small kiss on the forehead, "Thank you."
She blushed quickly, "You promise that you mean that?"
He nodded, giving her a small peck on her pink lips. "Of course."
Lucy sobbed, remembering a something that once held such love and warmth was now bringing her an upheaval of sadness.
"What a stupid promise." She muttered, but then she shook her head, giving a bitter smile, "But like an idiot I won't be surprised that I'll still keep that promise." She turned over, bringing the blanket up to her nose. "Does he still remember?"
