A/N: Strange oneshot...but not the strangest by far lol I think with my account, I'm just going to write oneshots for now on, I think they are more my area of interest lol This one came to mind after reading a lot of Bentley and Sly fighting fictions...


Friends will help you do stupid things

Real Friends, will not let you do stupid things to ruin your life

-Unknown


_-GoddessOfYingandYang-_

Motherly Friend


It was 1:00 am in the morning. Bentley was about to have a heart attack waiting for his youngest friend to return from the bar. "He doesn't need to be drinking any ways!" He yelled out finally ending the silence between him and Murray.

The duo had been waiting for their friend to return for five hours, the raccoon had promised to be home in two. Bentley didn't approve of his friend going to the bar, he was a criminal yes, but Sly was only 17 still and he had one year more to be at the legal drinking age. The raccoon just wasn't the same when he was drunk…he was plain stupid! Most people did change when they got drunk, and Sly wasn't an exception; when he got drunk he was the complete opposite of his sober self.

Cooper went out to drink for the sake of anger and hurt. Every weekend he'd go out and get drunk as possible then come back. The reason was because he felt guilty. The raccoon had expressed his feelings to Bentley and Murray one night out of the blue. He'd said that he felt guilty forever being friends with them, and ruining their chances at being whatever they could have been besides thieves. They tried to tell him that they'd gone on thier own terms...but he wouldn't listen to them.

The conversation ended abruptly and the raccoon had locked himself in the room for the rest of the night. The turtle could have sworn he had heard sobbing that night. Murray and Bentley knew their friend had become an addicted to alcohol, knew he felt guilty and that's why he was doing it. However they couldn't stop the thief from drinking, he wouldn't listen to reasoning. The conversations would always end before the started, the raccoon knew what the drinking was doing but didn't stop. It was like he was on a mission to die from alcohol poisening.

There had been many occasions were Sly would come home and argue with Bentley until late in the afternoon the next day, but at the end would promise not to drink anymore. Every time however…it turned out to be a complete lie, and the next weekend the raccoon would return to the comfort of the bars to drink his troubles away. The turtle knew that arguing couldn't do anything, and knew trying to talk to the raccoon always got him nowhere; the raccoon would never listen, and everything he said would go in one ear and out the other.

Though his guilt wasn't the only thing that was making him drink the turtle had calculated that Carmelita had been even rougher. The fox during their chases would usually shout things like, "Get back here!" or "Stop in the name of the law!" Usually that's all she would shout…though as the genius figured out after listening in on a conversation between Sly and Carmelita…she'd gotten very evil with what she would yell. This of course worsened the drinking problem, and made the turtle gain a sort of hate for the inspector.

These charades had to stop. Sly needed to move on from his guilt and Carmelita. Bentley was sick of seeing the raccoon this way, sick of seeing the once cocky and funny thief, now the most un-confident and silent person he'd ever met. The turtle didn't know how to change somebody, nor did he find it possible, nor did he want too. He wanted Sly to give up drinking on his own...but sometimes he felt that would never happen, that the raccoon didn't even see what he was doing to himself.

He wanted Sly to give up beer, and wanted his friend back. There was no way he could make the male raccoon stop drinking, he couldn't take away the pain from Sly's heart, or the guilt for that matter. The turtle felt so weak in the situation, so unhelpful, and lost on what to do to help his friend. It was infuriating to see the raccoon stroll in at 3:00am in the morning and simply go to bed after drinking the whole day away. He was wasting his life, and he was making the turtle lose options on what to do.

The turtle had tried to convince the thief to go to different places than the bar; the raccoon agreed but at 2:00am in the morning when he walked in, the turtle knew his friend hadn't gotten smoothies. All sorts of tactics were tried; asking him to stay home, trying to get him signed up for recovery, and so many other things the turtle couldn't count. None of them worked, and this made the genius's fears of his friend getting sick, even dieing, stronger than ever...what was he going to do?

The hippo sighed, "He just wants to blow off steam probably." Murray always gave Sly excuses; he never once had gotten mad at the raccoon. Always he'd just sit on the couch and wait for him to come home, while Bentley sat across the room glaring at the door. "I mean it's not like we don't know where he is or anything." The cool collected 25-year-old hippo ended.

Murray sighed again giving a yawn and silently walked to bed, no longer wishing to stay up. Working his way up the stairs tiredly and disappearing down the hallway upstairs were the genius turtle heard an obvious click of the hippo's bedroom door shutting. "Night Bentley." He called down, his booming voice still being heard.

The turtle by himself still waiting, responded to Murray's excuse for Sly, "I don't care what he wants to do anymore, he's starting to…"

A code knock came to the door.

The jaw of the turtle tightened as he walked over to the door. Obviously Sly had returned, and when Bentley opened the door he saw Sly had somehow gotten his nose broken. Though besides the nose being broken, the raccoon held a beer bottle and a cocky drunken grin plastered across his muzzle. The anger rose within the turtle and he could hardly contain his rage.

The muscles in the turtles body tense as if he was being shocked by high voltage as he finally found the words in his dry throat, "What. Happened. To. Your. Nose?" He questioned, each word coming out angrier than the other.

Sly hadn't noticed the anger in his pals voice due to being completely drunk, and for the fact he wasn't really paying attention, "Uh…" He shook his head as if trying to remember, "Some chump said he could take me, and I showed him what real fighting was…but he sorta got a…punch off and…yeah…"

Each word was slurred and incoherent, making the already frustrated turtle have to strain to listen. The turtle without warning yanked Sly inside the house and slammed the door. The raccoon fell to the floor laughing, "Whoa Bentley chill." His voice coming out in an annoying sort of way.

The turtle stomped over to his friend and shook a finger at him, "What the hell is the matter with you! Bar fights? Bar fights? You could have been hurt worse! You could have gotten captured!" Standing over Sly the turtle grit his teeth harder than ever before and clutched his fists by his sides.

The raccoon gave a drunken toothy smile, "Nah…" He scoffed chuckling giving a hiccup, "Nobody can take me…buncha losers!" The young raccoon's voice that was usually innocent and calm collected now sounded like a 30-year-old pirate. It wasn't the only thing that had changed however it seemed.

Blood was all over the front of his shirt; his hair was messed up to what looked like the point of no return. One of his handsome brown eyes was now swollen to a deep purplish black. The shoes that he gone out in were now an incomplete pair, one missing and the other one on the wrong foot. Last but not least there was a stab wound to the shoulder.

The turtles brown eyes snapped, "You said he got one punch off!"

Cooper looked dazed, "I don't really remember what happened buddy…you should come for a beer with me some time…"

"That's it." The turtle seethed as suddenly out of nowhere let his hand came across his best friends face. The impact was enough to make the raccoon fall backwards on the floor, and choke on the beer he'd had in his mouth.

Bentley had just slapped his friend.

The slap however had been so hard it seemed like a punch, and the turtle only wiped the blood off his hand on a dishtowel. He wasn't done however. The turtle rose to his feet and grabbed Sly by the shirt, dragging him over to the couch. Cooper weakly struggled and was now awake from his drunk haze, "Bentley what are you doing!" He cried helplessly as the turtle suddenly threw him on the couch.

It wasn't like Sly weighed a lot to begin with, and the turtle could have easily picked him up…but what surprised the raccoon was that Bentley seemed to be so violent. The raccoon's heart beat a little faster as he tried to desperately scramble to his feet, but to no avail.

His genius friend grabbed the backside of his shirt, and with a hard pull made him fall back into his lap. The raccoon found himself being flipped over by the nerdy turtle and his friend's legs trapping his own two legs. His hands were also pushed down by the right hand keeping them both unable to help the raccoon.

Lying across the turtles lap made the raccoon shiver, and he squirmed, "Bentley…" The regular suave voice now whining, "We can work this out please, I won't drink anymore I promise." Begging usually got him out of situations with Bentley, or giving up…but this time however the turtle responded in a different way.

"You sure won't." He agreed.

The raccoons eyes widened in pain as the turtles hand began to slap his clothed butt.

SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!

Sly Cooper knew the turtle was just getting warmed up by the tone his voice earlier, "Please Bentley, I promise, please!"

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

The young thief let out a small whimper but held in his pain and kept begging, "Bentley, I promise! Please I promise no more!"

The turtle glared, "This is for your own good."

SMMMMACCCKKKKKKK!

"OUCH!" The raccoon screamed trying to free his hands to rub his behind; Bentleys arm forced his two down. Due to the raccoon still being drunk he was weaker than ever, and less capable of escaping the turtle.

"Sorry Sly, but I'm going to make sure you never want to drink again." The turtle vowed with a hint of determination in his voice.

SMACCK! SMACCKK! SMACK! SMACKK! SMACCKKK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

The raccoon could feel the stinging sensation rising up on his backside, and knew that the next round would be the most painful.

SMACCCCKK! SMACCCKKK! SMACCCKKK! SMACCCKKK!

SMACCCCKK! SMACCCKKK! SMACCCKKK! SMACCCKKK!

SMACKK! SMACKK! SMACK! SMACKK! SMACK! SMACK!

This time the raccoon let out small yelps and grunts of pain, "Pal, please, I promise, stop!"

The turtle didn't respond, but picked up what seemed to be a paddle. The raccoon in his lap shivered and began to thrash, to which the turtle only held him tighter, "Stop squirming." He ordered holding him down harder to the point of which Sly let out a low yell of pain. "I told you to stop." He replied as the raccoon stopped all movement.

The turtle raised the paddle and let it come down.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK!

By now tears had welled up in the raccoon's brown eyes, but he didn't let them fall. "Carmelita is not worth drinking, and you don't need to feel guilty." The turtle said giving the raccoon a moment to breath.

"Yes it is." The raccoon said defiantly before trying to again get up, "Carmelita hates me, and I deserve it! And you guys could have…"

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

The raccoon's eyes that held the tears were now producing them as he began to sob in pain, "Bentley please." He whimpered, "Please."

"Are you going to stop drinking?" He asked, the raccoon didn't answer for a moment and that's all the turtle needed to start again.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

The raccoon was now crying harder and coughing because of crying so hard. Tears streamed down his cheeks as his chest was raising and falling quickly from his crying, shaking more so. The raccoon's chin was buckling, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." His voice cracked.

"Is Carmelita worth it?" The turtle asked his voice very stern.

The raccoon nodded 'no' with a sniffle.

"Are you going to stop feeling guilty?" The turtle questioned.

The raccoon didn't nod or reply so…

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

The raccoon was in the same state as earlier but was nodding his head up and down quickly, "I'm sorry Bentley!" His voice whined, "I'm so sorry!"

His eyes arched as he sobbed quietly.

The turtle slowly let his grip go on the hands and legs of his friend. Then he pulled him into a sitting position on the couch, "Sly, Murray and I went with you and knew what we'd be. We wanted to be thieves because, WE wanted too, not because you wanted us too. Even before you came along, Murray and me were planning on running away and becoming thieves. Stop feeling guilty and stop drinking." The turtle said resting a hand on the raccoon's shoulder.

Sly nodded and hugged Bentley, "I'm sorry." He said, his voice shaking, "I promise I'll never drink again."

"That's illogical." The turtle said eyebrows raised an amused smile on his face.

"Well…I won't every weekend, only on occasions." The raccoon composed tilting his head to the side to the turtle.

"That's better." The turtle smiled, "Now let me fix you up."

The raccoon nodded in agreement as he held his shoulder. The turtle got his supplies and began to slowly clean it until a hand went over his. He looked into Sly's eyes that were still watery, "Thanks Bentley."

"No problem Sly." The turtle laughed along with Sly.


Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Sly Cooper Characters, Sucker Punch Own All Rights.