DISCLAIMER:
I've got nothing to do with IS except an incurable
obsession.
AUTHOR'S
NOTE: SPOILERS!!
If you haven't watched "My Hometown"/4x06 DO NOT READ!! This
is my version of 4x07/"Not an Addict."
G-Major
Studios, Toronto 1:00 pm
It hurt. Again. No one would be surprised, but this time was different. She had seen further into the why behind the heartbreak. Why he kept doing it. He wasn't worthy…bull shit. So she left. He could figure his own shit out and come back, again, when he was ready, but she wasn't handling this well, this "break." No up, she wasn't finished with him; they weren't done. She said it once she'll say it again. "You can't get rid of me that easily, Quincy."
12:00 am
One thing was for sure, no matter what he did, she always got inspired to write, to sing. No different this time. It was rough not being able to bounce lyrics or riffs or beats or everything against that brilliantly musical mind, but she would deal, just as she had before. She was a brilliant musical mind in her own right. Plus, she'd fired him off her albums before…what twice, now? Still went Platinum.
Now to get that drum beat right…
9:00 am
There was something just not right about this mix…
"Jude?"
"Hmm?" Something wasn't flowing right…
"You been here all night?"
"Umm…yeah…" What was it? The drums?
"Thought you went to New Brunswick?"
"Yep." Was it…her? Her voice?
"When did you get back? Where's Tommy?"
"Umm…New Brunswick, probably sleeping off the hangover…and bruises…" Was she the problem? With everything? With Tommy?
"What the hell are you talking about Jude?"
"I don't really have time right now, Kwest. I have to get this single mixed and to Darius. We'll talk later." She can't blame herself. No. It's Tommy's issues, not her. But what was this? The fourth time they'd done this? How could something that feels so right always end badly? Were they not meant to be together? "It's got to be the drums…"
4:00 pm
"Jude?"
"Yeah, Sadie?" Hmm…these lyrics aren't fitting right…
"You..um…are you okay?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" I'm crashing and burning…
"Because you've been in the studio, working, nonstop, since you got back. Have you even gone home to change? Or shower?"
"Uh…nope…" Shouldn't we be making out? That's perfect…
"Jude, look at me! Stop writing in that book and look at me!"
"Wha…Sadie give that back! I'm fine! Just inspired. Let me work please! Darius needs this song written and produced and on his desk and if you hadn't noticed, I'm down a co-producer." 1 day 6 hours…
"I noticed. Jude, please talk to me. What did Tommy do this time?"
"I'm fine, Sadie. He was just being Tommy. He'll come back when he gets his shit together…" He has to…
"Okay, Jude. I'm here, if you need me…"
"Yeah…fine Sadie…" He has to…he has to… STOP thinking about him! Stop talking about him! Focus on the music, the work.
"Jude…get some sleep, please. And eat, you're skinny enough as it is without you not eating."
"Sure Sadie." He'll come to his senses…they're not done…they're not done…they're done…
10:00 am
"…You
got steam I don't
wanna Boy,
I just wanted your love
The wheels are turning
It's just me
I'm crashing
and I'm burning out
Shouldn't we be making out?
You got
guts
Guts is what I need now
I don't mind
Starting to
believe it's over
Tell her "I loathe her"
Let you go away
I don't wanna
Let you go
I just need a bit of your love
I just
wanted your love…"
"Sounds good, Jude."
"Thanks, D." Focus on the music. You can do it just focus on the music…Focus…
"So, rumor has it you've been here almost 2 days straight."
"I'm dedicated to my music, D. You know that." Music…the bass needs to be picked up more…
"Jude, go home…rest…the song is a killer."
"Sure, Darius. Just let me fix the bass…" The bass…got to be the bass…
"No, Jude. Now. Go home. Eat and sleep. You being here isn't the only rumor going around."
"But Darius..the so-" 2 days…2 days…focus on the work…the music…the studio…
"Jude, don't make me ban you again."
"Oh-okay. Rest." When you are? Find me back in the studio…
"Jude?"
"Yeah?" The studio…the studio…
"Now."
"Okay" The studio…
Rehearsal
Space, Toronto 1:00 pm
"What part of I love you is so hard for you to understand?"
It was him. He just needs to get through his shit. And everything will be fine…
3:00
pm
"If
that's the real Tommy Q, I can't be with you."
Oh god…it was her. It was her fault. She broke them. She said the words…
6:00 pm
"Why is it always so easy for you to throw us away?"
No…NO…it's him. She's not to blame here. She can't be responsible for breaking them. It's his fault. It's always his fault…but she pushed him to do it. He didn't ask her to go to New Brunswick. If she had just stayed, if she just could have done it…They would still be together…separate but together…
8:00 pm
"I told you before, and you might not remember, but Tommy's a good person."
He's a good person. She believes that. He is a good person, his past was a little messy…a lot messy, but he was a good person.
She wasn't…she left…she broke them…She…needed to work…to focus on the music…
2:00 am
…I
can't tell the stars from the downtown lights
If I said I was
truly over you
My heart would say amen
But I'd give in to the
cold caress of 2 am
If I admit I can't get used to this…
She
couldn't get up from the floor. She'd been staring at the
ceiling…the spinning ceiling…for…she didn't know how long.
She was only aware of the lyrics running through her head.
"Tell
me you love me like the stars! Tell me you want me where ever you
are."
Her ringtone. Those lyrics. This building. She missed him. She broke them, but she still missed him…She should just close her eyes. They hurt...She was tired…She can't close her eyes…
11:16 pm
"JUDE! JUDE! Look at me! Focus!"
"She's so pale…she's so thin…how long has she been here, Kwest?"
"I don't know, Sadie."
"Is she okay, Spied?"
"I think we need to get her to hospital. I don't think she's slept or eaten since she got back."
"An ambulance is on its way."
"Kwest, what did he do to her?"
"I don't know, Sadie."
Toronto
Memorial Hospital, 2 days later 10:00 am
"SADIE! What happened? Is she okay?"
"Tommy, what the hell did you do to her in New Brunswick? She's broken! AGAIN!"
"Is. She. Okay?"
"No, she's not. I can't look at him. Kwest. I'm going to go sit with her."
"Kwest, man, what happened?"
"She came back from visiting you and she just didn't stop. She worked nonstop for 2 days before Darius kicked her out of G-Major. She didn't eat, didn't sleep. 3 days. We found her at the rehearsal space…Tommy…it was bad. What the hell happened?"
"She was at our studios…" I'm so sick of hearing how awful you are, how you're not worthy. So when you are? Find me back in the studio…"She was waiting for me."
"What are you talking about, man?"
"She was going to wait for me in our studios…I could've never come back…She would've waited forever…Not good enough…broke her…"
"Tommy, I don't know what you're talking about but let me tell you what's going on. She nearly killed herself because she believes in you so damn much. She LOVES you. And you love her. You know it, I know it, hell even she knows it. Forget you're past, forget everything that has ever happened. Love her. Nothing else matters besides that. Just love her, give her you. That's all she wants. You. Tommy. Let her love you…Let you love her!"
"She loves me…"
"She loves you."
"I need to see her. I need to talk to her."
"I'll take care of Sadie."
"She loves me."
"She loves you."
10:18
am
"She's sedated, Tommy. They had to so she would rest."
"Okay."
"She loves you."
"She loves me."
"Okay."
"Kwest?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"No thanks necessary, but Tom?"
"Yeah?"
"If I ever have to find Jude like that again..."
"You won't."
"Alright."
10:23 am
"Jude?..."
Beep beep beep
"I know you're sedated, Jude, but I hope you can hear me…I broke us, again. I'm sorry. I can't ask to forgive me, but I just want to say I love you. I may have…issues but I love you. I can't live without you. Ever since I got that call…I've never been so scared in my life, Girl. I can't believe I let things happen like that…so I'm going to be selfish. I love you, and I want you with me, forever. I will do anything and everything to make it up to you. Please, girl, open those pretty blues and tell me you still love me. Please…I love you."
Beep beep beep
"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you…"
Beep beep beep
"I love you. I love you. I love you. I lov-"
"Love you too."
"Jude?!"
"I love you too."
"You're okay."
"Not quite, but I love you too."
"I'm so sorry. I broke us. I'm so sorry."
"I broke us too. I gave up."
"No you didn't. You never gave up on me. You waited in our studios."
"I did give up. I stopped believing. I-"
"I don't care. I love you."
"I love you too."
"That's all that matters. We love each other. Just focus on us."
"Okay. Us."
"Us."
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Updated and Edited it!
