"Inquisitor, I've been meaning to ask you for some time now, but how is it you're able to disappear like you do during our many spats." Dorian asked his Qunari leader as he, Cassandra, and Varric sat outside of Griffon Wing Keep, a small fire between them keeping the night at bay.
The Inquisition had taken the keep recently and were busy repurposing it for their own means. Tasshath Adaar and his group were there to make sure no Venatori returned to try and reclaim their lost stronghold.
"What are you talking about Dorian? I'm always right in the middle of the fight." Tasshath replied, scratching the stubble along his chin in confusion.
"Yes, I know that," Dorian said with an exaggerated sigh. "What I'm trying to understand is how you can go from dodging Venatori spells one moment, then appearing directly behind the mage, your blades sticking out of their back, the next. Not only that, but you're practically large enough to block the sun, you shouldn't be half as stealthy as you are."
"I'm not that big." Tasshath said with mock shyness, his grin breaking the visage quickly.
"Inquisitor, you are almost seven feet tall. Big is the only way to describe you." Cassandra said, joining the conversation with her usual bluntness.
"You would know all about his size, wouldn't you Seeker?" Varric said, raising an eyebrow to accentuate what he truly meant.
"Varric!" Cassandra yelled in embracement. Hers and the Inquisitor's romance was no secret, but it was new, and she had not yet gotten used to the occasional jabs from Varric and Bull. Tasshath, on the other hand, tended to enjoy them quite a bit, and laughed at Cassandra's discomfort.
"I see I cannot rely on my own lover to defend my honor."
Tasshath finished chuckling as he spoke. "Cassandra, if there is one thing you don't need, is me fighting your battles. Varric and I know firsthand what it's like to be on your bad side."
"'Aint that the truth." Varric mumbled to himself.
"To get back to our earlier topic," Tasshath said turning towards Dorian. "Being a good rogue isn't just about quiet footsteps, proper dagger placement, and incredible good looks. It's about planning ahead and being where your enemy least expects you to be." As Tasshath finished his statement he threw down one of his many smoke bombs.
The group jumped back in surprise, readying their weapons and spells, expecting an attack that never came. When the dark cloud was finally blown away, the Inquisitor was nowhere to be seen.
"Haha, I see." Dorian said as he looked around, trying to spot where the Inquisitor was hiding. "Classic misdirection. A ruse that many have fallen for I'm sure, but it won't work on me." Dorian spoke with confidence, expecting the Inquisitor to try and sneak up on him. He prepared a small ice spell to give Tasshath a very uncomfortable caser of freezer-burn, in case he did jump out at him.
Tasshath's voice floated in from Dorian's right. "Oh, I don't know friend. This ruse has worked on Tevinter mages before."
"Not on this one I'm afraid. Ha!" Dorian yelled as he threw his hand at where the voice had come from. His spell shot off, his aim perfect, going exactly where he believed the Inquisitor to be.
He waited to hear a yelp of surprise, but was disappointed when no such noise was made.
"Oh, that spell looked nasty." Tasshath's voice said, now coming from Dorian's left. "If it had hit me I might have been concerned. Lucky your aim is as bad as Sera's cookies. Allow me to retort."
Dorian tensed up and began spinning from right to left. Doing his best to keep the fire at his back, making sure he had as few openings as possible for the Inquisitor to strike at.
Varric and Cassandra had been amusedly watching the battle between the two, waiting for the Inquisitor to show off his skills and torment Dorian in whatever way he could. What they did not expect, was to be tormented themselves.
Cassandra gave a loud yelp, pulling Varric and Dorian's attention as she jumped in the air, both hands covering her pinched bottom."Tasshath! You just goosed me!" Her voice a mix of anger, surprise, and embarrassment. Her lover's laugh could be heard all around their camp.
Before Varric could let go with clever comment, a wooden bucket materialized over his head, covering his gaze and muffling his own surprised noise. He battled with the bucket briefly before he tripped over his bedroll and fell onto the ground.
As he lay on his back he calmly pulled his new helmet off. "I suppose that was for my earlier comment, wasn't it Tash?" He said towards the starry sky.
"I didn't want Cassandra getting the idea I wouldn't protect her when the time came."
"If you think that will get you off the hook for what you just did, you will be very disappointed." Cassandra wasn't sure where to direct her voice, so she focused on the fire. It popped and crackled in time with her anger.
"Hopefully you aren't that mad at me, we are still sharing a tent." Tasshath's voice said from somewhere around them.
While the others had been talking, Dorian had been listening and watching very closely. He was determined not to be shown up, and focused intently on finding exactly where Tasshath was.
Dorian spotted movement around a nearby rock outcropping. He kept his gaze on the rocks, using some of his magic to cut away at the darkness around them. With his vision enhanced he saw the ram like horns that sprouted from the Inquisitor's skull, poking out from behind one of the jutting stones.
Dorian moved slowly towards the rock, his spell at the ready, talking along the way to mask his footsteps. "I have to admit, I never doubted your skills before Inquisitor, but now I truly am impressed. Pulling pranks and grabbing asses? Let the enemies of the Inquisition beware."
Dorian was no more than a few feet from the rock now. "Of course, the same could be said for me. I'm not so arrogant that I won't learn from my mistakes."
"Dorian, I'm proud of you." Tasshath's voice said, coming from the rock and bolstering Dorian's confidence. "Now what say we finish this up? I'm getting a little tired."
"I agree completely Inquisitor. Now, this should only sting for a little bit." Dorian jumped around the rock and blasted the horns with his spell. The horns flew into the air, and, for a brief moment, Dorian feared he had removed the Inquisitor's head.
He quickly realized that what he had hit was not the Inquisitor's horns, but an actual pair of ram horns. They were attached to a leather helmet that had been placed on top of a stick, stuck in the sand. What he had taken for Tasshath's breathing, was in fact the wind, pushing the helmet back and forth.
"By the Black Divine." Dorian cursed as Tasshath rose from the sands and lifted him up in a crushing bear hug. Cassandra and Varric began laughing as they saw Dorian embraced in the Qunari's large arms.
"Does that answer your earlier questions?" Tasshath asked as he released Dorian, much to the mage's relief.
"Yes, you've proven quite well that your size does not hinder you. Do tell though, how did you accomplish all that?"
Tasshath gave Dorian a wink then walked back to camp. Cassandra met him halfway and punched him, hand still within her metal gauntlet, on the arm. He gave a cry of pain, and started rubbing the spot with his hand. Varric's dying laughter renewed after seeing the exchange.
Dorian dusted the sand off his clothes and muttered to himself. "Rogues."
