Girl Talk
By Adrian Tullberg
The Doctor looked at one Kate Stewart, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.
"So … I take it you'd like an explanation."
"About Missy, yes. A.k.a. the Master."
"I thought so."
"I was under the impression he was …"
"A He?"
"Among other things. Black attire, optional goatee, usual M.O. of mind control and making your life miserable before ending it." Kate sat down, facing the Doctor, arms crossed. "Now you're telling me that Stalky Poppins is the same individual."
"Okay. The complete scenario." The Doctor took up his cup of tea, using it to warm his hands, not really looking at anything. "Yes, Time Lords shifting gender identity after regeneration has been known to happen. Not that often, but it does happen. However, in the case of the Master? In this late in his life? It's less a recognition of your identity and adapting to accommodate that new awareness …"
"My father, in all his career said you were the source of his biggest headaches. I'm beginning to understand."
"For the Master, becoming a she instead of a he is a symptom. I assume you've heard of the Hayflick phenomenon?"
"I … yes … biological cells divide mitotically only a certain number of times until they slow down, stop their division and die … that manifests as aging and the body breaking down …"
"Yeah, basically. Something similar exists for Time Lords. But not our bodies." The Doctor gestured to himself, then to his head. "It's the mind. You ever wonder about regeneration?"
"Dad mentioned he saw you do it once."
"… must have been before the war. Rassilon announced his arrival by removing the energy limitations on our regenerations. Made a lot of builders and interior decorators really happy."
"Must remember to put a little extra in our maintenance budget next time you come around."
"Ever wonder why we just stop at twelve regenerations? Nobody going for thirteen or fourteen because of a good diet and doing Pilates? Maybe fifteen because they cut out red meat?"
Kate frowned. "It's imposed?"
"Thirteen lives was an artificial limit, dug in deep into our biod … our DNA. Not for population control; we could colonise and terraform like nobody's business even way back. Our version of the Hayflick Limit wasn't in our bodies; it was our minds." The Doctor looked back at Kate, smiling mirthlessly. "Regeneration is … it's not just our bodies being pulled apart and put back together. It's us. Our brains. Our memories, our … us. Sometimes it's smooth, other times … well, you hear other people talk about soul searching? Try working out what you're allergic to after a regeneration …"
"The Point, Doctor."
"… just laying down the basis of the conversation."
"Consider the foundations well and truly laid."
"The Master has, over time, gone well past his number of lives. He tried something on Gallifrey, but then …"
"Traken. He stole a man's body."
"Talking to Tegan then?"
"Tegan. Dorothy McShane. Wilf."
"Yeah. Poor old Tremas wasn't the last."
Kate recalled an unsolved murder in San Francisco with a paramedic named Bruce as the main suspect. "How many?"
"I don't know. And that's the point. I've made inquiries, did some research when I had the chance ... and even if I go by the number of lives that I know about? There's no record of any other Time Lord having the same number of lives and resurrections that the Master's had."
"I think this where you tell me the reason for that artificial limit."
"Theoretically, you can regenerate the body indefinitely. I knew a bunch of astronauts that did well over a hundred times with only biological arton infusion, strictly your basic biological maintenance. The mind can only be broken down and rebuilt by a regeneration so many times. The legends said that thirteen was chosen because Rassilon pondered on the problem for thirteen days without food or sleep, but I think he just gave it to a committee that found a decent average before the problems set in and took the credit. As always."
"The problems … I'm going take a wild stab and guess they were a polite way of characterising a series of mental issues that could be classified as …"
"Insanity."
"I should have been one of those knife throwers. Might have gotten on telly."
"When the mind rebuilds itself over and over past a certain point, certain issues … mental faults … become more and more likely."
"Like recessive genes?"
The Doctor winced. "I wouldn't have put it like…"
"You did bring up the biological similes."
"When your dad met him? Obsessive, ambitious, angry. Would let this world burn itself to a cinder if it meant getting back at me. But still meticulous, cautious, always had an escape plan. Then he hit life thirteen. Went through them so fast his last body was burnt out. Started hijacking bodies. Tremas was the first. Immediately, his schemes started becoming … less meticulous. Less cautious. Wiped out a quarter of the universe by accident because he was too eager to show he was in control. Was ready to wipe out the rest if he didn't get his way. Nearly killed himself when he didn't take proper weapon maintenance precautions …"
"Wilf mentioned … drumming."
The Doctor nodded, looking weary. "Might have had something to do with it at the start. Definitely now."
"Are you always going to make statements that require constant questions from me?"
"That's how it usually goes. The drumming was a mental signal sent from the Time Lords to the Master's past which continued to the present. He wasn't even aware of it from the start. It might have subconsciously affected him in small ways … he was always neat, tidy, kept appointments, kept good time. Should have had a career as a drummer. Then he became more consciously aware of it with each incarnation; he was completely aware when he served in the Time War. As planned. The constant drumming … any other normal Time Lord would have had a hard time keeping his head straight with the mental equivalent of Chinese Water Torture …"
"… the Master didn't stand a chance."
"His mind eroding from the inside out. He survived, though. He kept his core identity by adapting around that one constant in his head."
"You're saying he was basically dependent on that drumming signal."
"And now the Time Lords removed it." The Doctor raised his hand. "Imagine a tooth. Lot of cavities. Gets lots of fillings. More and more. Now imagine the fillings magically vanish. No more fillings …"
"No more tooth."
"The Master's change of gender identity is just one symptom of his core personality disintegrating." The Doctor rubbed his face. "When I first saw Missy, I didn't even recognise him …"
"He's going to become more and more dangerous, isn't he?"
"You know, I thought … he might be fixed. Cured. Before …"
"Stalky Poppins."
"Hmm."
"I suppose now isn't a good time to ask how many times you've regenerated."
"You're a very smart woman Kate Stewart. Because you're quite right."
The small woman fell to the ground.
Controlling her breathing, she made sure her glasses were in position, before looking around. Small little metal room. She may be imprisoned in an unknown location but she was still unharmed. Nothing to worry about.
"Hello love."
Osgood looked up at the woman beaming at her, seated, holding an umbrella. "Hello. Missy."
"Good, you remembered. Mental faculties reintegrated …"
"I suppose I should ask why I'm not dead."
"Not the how."
Keep cool, calm and collected. Nothing to worry about. "I expect if you say why, you might say how."
A brief smile. "No wonder he liked you. Well the why and the how is, you might have noticed, is I have a teensy bit of an impulse control problem. Started killing people and realising I needed them later. So I built in a buffer memory into the disintegration feature into this." Missy held up her mobile phone-type device. "Like the Recycle Bin."
"And the two guards?"
Missy was busy tapping her device. "Why do you call yourself 'Unified' instead of 'United Nations Intelligence Taskforce'?"
By volunteering information Missy could easily find out any number of ways, she could build a rapport with her captor. Nothing to worry about.
"The Doctor made a precondition of his working with UNIT was that either the whole world got the benefits of reverse engineered alien technology or nobody did. No country or organisation would hold a monopoly."
"Yes, he was always banging on about that kind of thing back then …"
"It was still early days so that kind of policy change was easier to put in. The five permanent members of the Security Council didn't like the idea of all, even less so with the amount of technology captured when he was still on Earth. They've only recently managed to separate UNIT from the rest of the United Nations, but Ms. Stewart is still managing to block them …"
"Good, good …" Missy got off her chair, and sat on the floor next to Osgood. "Now you seem to be back to normal … the obedience conditioning I put in the reintegration protocols is fully in effect …" Absently, she began to stroke Osgood's hair. "Now just between us girls … tell me everything I might want to know about UNIT, would you? Just between us."
Of course she told Missy. There was nothing to worry about.
