Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time.
I'd just finished putting my stockings on when my phone vibrated. I glanced at it briefly before putting on my heels.
I heard a sound from the other room and looked up. My breath caught when Robin came out just wearing his undershirt and pants. I felt like I would never be fully used to the sight of him with me, no matter how long we were together.
"Morning," he said, still sounding incredibly sleepy.
"Well, look who's finally woken up," I said, standing up and smoothing down my skirt.
"I apologize, but that was the best…sleep…I've had in a very long time," he said.
I bit my lip and looked down to hide a smile before brushing a lock of hair behind my ear. There had been a lot more than sleeping last night – there had been kissing, cuddling, lovemaking…
"How would you like to come back to my camp and let me cook you breakfast?" Robin asked, coming closer.
I lit up at the offer. Spending more time with him was something I wanted so much, but I sighed. "Oh…that sounds lovely, but we both know we can't do that," I said, my voice full of regret.
"You're probably right," Robin said, sounding rueful. "Little John's a bit of a gossip."
I smiled at that – Little John being a gossip was the least of my worries of being seen with Robin. There were more pressing concerns – such as figuring out where Emma had gone, preparing for the Snow Queen's spell, and me finding the author of the storybook and asking him to write me a happy ending,. Not to mention there would be a very unhappy Marian if – no, when – she woke up from the freezing spell.
Robin chuckled, and stroked my hair. "There it is," he murmured, "there's the elusive but satisfying smile I see every time I close my eyes."
He leaned in for a long, heated kiss, and we kissed each other hungrily and desperately. His tongue slid along my mouth to trace it while his hands slid down to cup my butt and I sighed at the touch. "This makes me wonder why we didn't do this a few decades ago," I mused after we broke apart.
"I think you were suffering from a bit of heartbreak and a touch of self-loathing," Robin quipped, but I could hear that he had suffered from those things as I had. He had told me that he had hated himself after Marian's death. "And I was just drunk in a bar with a tattoo."
I looked down at his lion tattoo and added, "Who Tinker Bell said I was destined to be with. I should've listened to that stupid fairy. Things might have turned out differently had I chosen you over – well, instead of – evil."
What would my life have been like if I had gotten rid of the vengeance and anger that had consumed me back then? I had been so angry at Snow White for revealing to my mother about Daniel – which ultimately lead to his death – that I had ignored everything irrelevant to my revenge on Snow.
Even that night when the pixie dust had led me to Robin at the pub…I'd been so afraid of being rejected – and of losing the anger that had defined me – that I had run away from him, from my happy ending.
"You made mistakes," Robin corrected, putting his hands on my face, "and now you're making up for them."
He leaned in even closer, and I knew he wanted to kiss me, but I gently pushed his hands away. "I'm digging myself in deeper…and you're married," I told him, backing away and walking towards my mirror.
"I know," Robin said softly.
"And if there wasn't a Marian," I said, laughing bitterly and turning around, "I'm certain things would end…badly."
Yes, Robin loved me…but he didn't know the extent of what I had done as the Evil Queen. If he found out everything, I was sure he would turn his back on me. If he did turn away from me – because of my past as the Evil Queen, not because of Marian – my heart would be broken again.
"Are you really that much of a pessimist?" Robin asked, approaching me again.
"Well you would too if you knew everything I did," I said.
I'd killed and tortured countless people…I'd ripped out Graham's heart and crushed it when he wanted to leave me for Emma…I'd sided with my mother when she came to Storybrooke with Captain Hook and went with her schemes…the list of things could go on.
Robin looked intently into my eyes, but I averted his gaze and picked up Henry's storybook.
"Have you seen this before?" I asked, changing the subject, and Robin shook his head. "It's a magical storybook that we're all written into." I opened up the book to the page with the illustration of me walking away from him. "And there's me. Walking away from you at the bar."
"Where…did this come from?" he asked, sounding extremely fascinated by the book.
"I don't know. It just…appeared when Henry needed it most," I said, feeling frustrated. "It's stories about heroes…and villains. Guess which column I'm in."
"This book is about the past," Robin emphasized, shutting the book with a thump. "Like you said, you're not the Evil Queen anymore." He put it down where I'd picked it up.
I laughed humorlessly again. "Tell that to the author because he seems to have made it a rule that villains don't get happy endings. Even if they change, even if they try to be good."
No matter what I do, I'll always be a villain.
"Leave him to me," he said. "I'd be happy to have more than a conversation."
I sighed. I'd have to be more diplomatic if I could find this author – there was no other way I'd get my happy ending. "I wish it were that simple. But I don't know where he is, or who he is, or if it's a he or a she or an it. I've searched everywhere and I've been failing."
"Regina, let me help," Robin said.
I smiled wistfully at him. I wanted him to help me, but this was something that only I could do – besides Henry. "You can't." I caught hold of his arms, which had been around my waist and gently made him let go. "And this cannot happen a second time, you understand?" I kept my arms behind my back, scared I'd lose control and embrace him again.
"I know," Robin agreed. I knew it was the right thing for him to do, but it still hurt and I looked at the floor to regain my composure before I looked at him again. "And I agree.
"But…" he began, that mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes that warned me he was up to no good, as he put his arms around my waist and backed me up close to my mirror, "if we don't leave this room, then I think this still counts as the first time, don't you?"
My hands slipped up his arms and I smirked at his logic before he caught my lips in a hard kiss.
Still kissing me, he lifted me into his arms and put me down on the bed.
Author's note: Read and review!
