Glancing at the shining golden hair he could think of only one thing, gently brushing his fingers against the thick mane. He loved everything about it, the way it moved, the way it slightly curled when wet. He loved the sight of the gently curled locks, invading the perfectly chiselled face. Those features were worthy of a king. Regular, a strong jaw and a surprising well fitting nose. Everyone single would turn their heads to glance at him, and everyone not single would wish to be single if only for one night. His blue eyes, deep as the ocean, full of sense of humour and light. He loved the way those eyes shone as if tempting to flirt with him, as if always in a good mood and cheerful. He took any chance possible to admire the strong arms, the muscular legs and firm ass. He could never stop admiring that. But what he loved most was the deep sound of his voice. The gently Kiwi tone sounding in his accent despite living in England the last six years. He would often joke around, flirt with people, and then his voice would become even more alluring.

He was like a moth drawn to the flame. He would love to burn in his flame, to come closer and to be tempted to reach out. He felt tempted, but terrified at the same time. Seeing him in the corridors surrounded by girls, or by his team mates. Seeing him play soccer and joke around with his team. Seeing him in class sit along the wall, half listening half drawing something in his notebooks.

He could regret only one thing. That he could not find his voice when near the very person he admired. The very person he should have never dreamt about. He could not come closer to a person who hated him and despised him. A person he should love, but not as deeply as he did. His own twin brother.

The gap between them hundreds of miles deep. One raised by their father and the other raised by their mother, who split them upon divorce. He knew know why they had divorced, their father loved to have fun and a family was not on the list of priorities. It was surprising he took Fili with him to seek adventures in the land down under. While Dis stayed in her family home, with her brother and other relatives nearby. The phone call to pick up Fili from the airport at the age of ten surprised everyone. Seeing the blond boy arrive Kili hoped to find a friend in him. But his brother didn't want to make friends. At least not with him. He caught all the attention of the family. He was so much more than what Kili was. He was fun loving and witty. Good at sports and languages as uncle Thorin. He looked like their father, but was like a spark of positive energy wherever he went. Everyone loved him, the family accepted him within minutes from arrival. And every following day proved that Kili was pushed to the side.

He always had confidence issues. His dyslexia adding despair into the mix. Any written text seemed to jumble in front of his eyes, becoming an incomprehensible mass of letters. With deep sighs his mother would sit down with him with exercises, but her glances into the living room where Fili was watching TV hurt him every time. He focused as much as possible, he spent countless hours at night practising. He felt so ashamed of his inability and obvious lacking. Whenever he would read a book for school he would lock himself in his bedroom for days and face the dreadful task alone. Separating himself from the family even more.

He could still remember the day cousin Gimli stopped by, when little he was his best friend, but the arrival of the new family member made a change. At first he did not know why the two were whispering in the corners of the house, but when he came to realise Fili was going on a camping trip with Gimli and his family, he just felt a huge wave of pain go over him. After years of practise he did not show any emotion, he did not show he even cared. The casual "I knew you wouldn't want to come." From his twin just adding to the bitter feeling in his mouth. Later they would never hide, they would not hide they came over to spend time with Fili. They would not hide that Fili was the one invited to parties, to camping trips and dinners. It was Fili who would go out swimming, playing tennis, football, or video games. Every year adding to the salt already shoved into Kili's wounds.

One day he just stopped caring at all. He stopped caring if he ate breakfast or not. Stopped caring if he had money for lunch or not. He stopped caring if he had good grades or bad ones, because his were always worse than his brother's anyway. He stopped caring what his family though about his clothes, his music and his friends. It took seven messages from school to make his mother and uncle realise something was wrong. The only result being they sent him to therapy. At therapy he would just sit there and remain silent. Glancing out the window with hope it would finally end. For show he began eating a bit more, and getting into less fights at school. And after nearly ten weeks of therapy his family settled for the slight positive result.

Fili's paintings and drawings hanging around the house were yet another thorn in his side. Fili was talented, but the display of works was a reminder that Fili's drawings got recognition and his didn't. It was Fili driven two times a week for special art lessons and painting classes. Every family gathering everyone stressed the importance of Fili developing his passion. It took Mrs. Brandybuck nearly a year to convince Kili his works were actually worth something. She kept praising him, but the boy would just raise his head and impassively say he's okay. She tried to convince Dis about taking a closer look at Kili's works, but the woman was so blinded with the uniqueness of Fili, that she didn't even take a look at her other son's work. When Fili chose art lessons at school, and Kili wanted to do the same, he heard he should do something more useful and practical, and after a long fight he signed up for IT just to have some peace. His heart bleeding even more when his brother kept being praised for his drawings. His mother in his memories was the best mother in the world. She used to cook his favourite food, she used to read stories to him. She would take him for long walks in the gardens surrounding their huge house. She would spent time and play games with him. When Fili came to live with them, she focused only on him. She spent time with him, she took him to the cinema, she cooked his favourite food, she bought him the best presents. It was as if overnight she had one son, her new son. She simply became the best mother for someone else.

The day he met Tauriel he was depressed to say the least. She was a new transfer student who joined his class, and after the first glance around the classroom she immediately took a seat right next to him. Later she told him he was the only normal looking person in the whole room. It was Tauriel who pushed him into joining the school archery club. She trained a lot, and her older brother Legolas also became a member of the team. To their surprise Kili turned out to be very good. It took just several tries to learn how to hold the bow, and soon it was evident he was gifted. Not that his family knew anything about it. When their coach insisted on taking him to a tournament he would just say his family doesn't agree. He had to listen to the coach talk a lot about it, but the more he hung his head low, the more the teacher started insisting. Mr. Strider knew about the talk in school about the problems with the boy and simply stopped insisting. During one phone call to Ms. Durin he learnt she had no idea he took part in any club, and from her tone he could tell she was relieved he wasn't calling about any troubles at school, and when he tried to talk about the archery club she firmly said her son had no such interests.

Legolas kept glancing at his sister's friend. Kili was the first person his sister trusted. Out of all the people in the school, she immediately found a person who was equally damaged as herself. The boy was cute, with long brown wavy hair. He was sad and solemn, and introvert. His extroverted sister soon began dragging him around, trying to push him into having some more fun. Legolas did not mind him, the boy surprisingly had a good influence on his sister.

In their previous school she would run away, and keep to her own paths, now at least she had company. Someone reasonable enough to keep her out of trouble. Despite the boy's bad reputation Legolas soon realised he was calm, and he realised the boy desperately tried to avoid any attention from his family. He could still remember the horror when his half sister tried to kill herself. Her presence in their family difficult. She was his father's affair child, born to his own secretary. She came to live with them at the age of thirteen, after her mother's death because of cancer.

His mother hated her from day one. She hissed at the girl, she berated her. And his father didn't give a damn. Legolas tried to keep her sane, he made sure she ate, he made sure she took lunch money and later ate lunch. Kili made it much easier, as if the boy immediately realised how fragile Tauriel was and how much care she really needed. Legolas could only feel grateful for that. His own relations with Tauriel were a bit strained, he tried to help her, but from time to time she would lash out at him without a reason. But still she talked to him more than to his mother and their father. She only talked to their father when she wanted something, and Thranduil feeling guilty for everything would meet any demand.

"I love your car!" Kili told Tauriel with a huge smile as they were walking around the new BMW. She got a beautiful red cabriolet from her dad. She could see jealousy in his eyes, but she knew not to touch upon the topic. She knew Fili has already done his driver licence, but no one even though of bringing Kili along. And Kili being Kili did not insist or suggest it himself.

"We're going for a spin!" She jangled her keys and got in. He smirked and jumped in without opening the door. She smiled at him.

"Are you going to be back for dinner?" Thorin asked glancing at the teenage couple in the car.

"No, probably not." Kili slowly replied.

"Your mother is going to be disappointed." Thorin noticed.

"He was invited to dinner with my family." Tauriel quickly intervened.

"Come home by midnight." Thorin finally mumbled and walked away.

"Dinner at your house?" Kili's eyebrows went up.

"Yes!" She smiled at him and started the car. "Today is my day!" She teased him with a smile.

Thorin glanced at the disappearing car. He recently realised he barely knew his nephew. Fili was always there, he was demanding attention, talking about ideas and seeking contact. He couldn't remember a moment when Kili would talked to him out of his own will. He couldn't remember moment when the two of them would be just alone and talking. Kili with long hair, in black clothes, silent and gloomy. He knew the problems with eating were gone, but the words of the psychologist who evaluated him then still rung in his head. The psychologist suggested that Kili was a great kid, but he needed help. He needed family and safety. His tried talking to his sister later, but she dismissed the whole thing saying Kili had a family. She even underlined the fact that Kili now had a brother and more family to spend time with. He felt worried when the red head showed up as Kili's girlfriend, but the girl was a Mirkwood, and she had a good influence on him. Despite the long evenings away from home and the fits his sisters was having at the perspectives of joining the two families.

Kili glanced at the huge Mirkwood house, he didn't really like eating dinner there, but still it as better than eating at his own home. The grim silence at the table shared between the two adults, and the silent pact between the teenagers. To his surprise Thranduil decided to speak just as dinner was ending.

"Kili." He spoke directly to the boy. "As you know it's Tauriel's birthday at the weekend, and she asked for a rather unusual present." Kili lifted his head and looked at the man, so serious and so solemn he seemed like ice. "It is my daughter's wish to go on a family trip to Paris, and we decided it would be really nice if you could join us." Thranduil added with a gentle smile running his solemn image.

"I'd like to, but I'm not sure if my mother would approve." He spoke slowly.

"I'll personally talk to your uncle." Mirkwood spoke in a firm tone. "I'm asking if you'd like to come, not if your mother will let you come. Leave that to me." He glanced at his daughter waiting nervously. Kili glanced at Legolas and saw an all meaning smirk on his face.

"I'd love to." He finally replied.

"I'll arrange it then." Thranduil nodded with a kind smile. His wife got up from her chair and marched out of the room without a word.

"I love you father!" Tauriel added with a pleased smile and pulled Kili to her bedroom.

As she pushed him on the bed, and jumped next to him.

"Surprise!" She smiled at him warmly.

"You're phenomenal!" Kili admitted with a smile as she reached for his hand.

"You're the best friend ever." Tauriel laughed lightly.

"No, you're the best friend ever." His smiled died and his eyes became serious.

"I remember how much you wanted to see Luwr. So we're going there!" She smiled at him.

"I don't know what to say..." Kili lowered his head.

"Just be happy for once." Tauriel gently suggested holding tightly onto his hand. "You have me... I might not be much, but I'll always be there for you."

"I wish I could do the same for you..." He noticed grimly.

"You are." A voice from the doorway startled them. Legolas swiftly sat on the bed next to them. "You made my sister happy." He told him slowly carefully choosing his words. "You're like a brother to me." He told the startled insecure boy.

"I'm glad I met you both." Kili noticed with a shy smile.

"So are you coming with us?" Legolas smiled honestly. "We're planning to visit Disneyland as well." He smirked carefree for once.

"If my family lets me..." Kili noticed with a grim face gain.

"Dad will see it done." Tauriel smiled mysteriously. "I know how to play my cards well..." She joked lightly with a wide grin.

"What kind of an idea is that?" Dis was royally pissed at the information Thorin told her. "Just because he's your business partner doesn't mean he can make propositions like that!"

"He said it was his daughter's wish to take him along for the trip. And since they will have parental supervision, I don't see why you would oppose the idea." Thorin noticed sternly. He had a lot of conclusions towards his sisters parenting skills and not all of them were positive.

"He's been doing so badly at school! You have no idea how it feels to go there and listen to all that crap they have to say! You have no idea how it feels to see him like this, in these weird clothes listening to that dreadful music and spending time with that Emo girl!" Dis told her brother clearly irritated. "He should be punished, and not rewarded with a trip to Paris!"

"She's more like a Goth than an Emo..." Thorin noticed gently.

"No fucking difference!" Dis spat at him. "He's my son and the decision is mine!"

"If he's such a burden I have a suggestion I would like to make." Thorin told her slowly.

"What kind of a suggestion?" She asked narrowing her eyes and looking suspiciously at him.

"Let me take over his care." Thorin told her trying to play her the right way. "I've always had a good contact with him, and I think I can talk to him."

"You had a good contact with him. No one has contact with him anymore." Dis scolded him.

"His girlfriend has." Thorin noticed. "Let me talk to him, I'll set some conditions to this trip thing, and if he keeps to it, I think we should let him go. You've been punishing him for a long time now... and I doubt he can see the connection between the reason for punishment and the punishment itself."

"It's not like I have been deliberately punishing him. It's more like I've been rewarding Fili for being the best son in the world." Dis told him "He's such a great kid, always learning at school, good with people, so friendly and kind. He deserves it." She finished with zeal.

"Don't you realise that by making him the best son in the world, you automatically put Kili in the worst son position?" Thorin noticed grimly.

"He was such a good kid, so smart and so nice. Then he became the most annoying brat..." Dis gasped.

"Have you ever tried to talk with him?" Thorin noticed. "Or were you too busy focusing on Fili's perfection?"

"You can say I lost the heart to try to change him after that eating disorder he had three years ago." Dis noticed.

"Let me handle him." Thorin insisted again.

"Fine!" She finally told him. "He's your problem now..."

Thorin gasped seeing her leave his office. He had a feeling he got into something he wasn't ready to deal with. Being a full time businessman, and part time uncle, never gave him preparation for dealing as a father figure with a hormone driven teenager. But what was happening to Kili was really disturbing, and he was irritated his sister was blind to the boy's problems. Thranduil's telephone was like a bolt of lightning. The idea to allow Kili go for a family trip with his girlfriend's family was crazy to say the least. But he tried to remember when was the last time the boy took part in any family trip, and to his horror he realised he could not remember such an occasion. It was him, Dis and Fili. Sometimes Gimli, Gloin and Dain. But never Kili, Dis always found a reason to leave him behind.