One-Shot: Kiss the Rain
A/N: Just a little one-shot, I'm just too obsessed with Keadlyn, that is. Also it's referring to this: watch?v=WIbUNfg_wmM which I've been listening to.
Kile's POV
„Hey, Kile where are you going, actually?", Erik called after me when we left the hall after breakfast. I was, in fact, not taking the same hallway as the others.
„I'm just off to my usual room and grab some book to read before going back to my Selected Room", I replied over my shoulder. I didn't know why I was hurrying, but I wanted to get away from the others right now. Sometimes even I missed the calm of the palace.
I could literally feel the other's staring at my back while I climbed the stairs that led to the third floor. Did they know where Eadlyn's room was? Was that why they were being suspicious? I shook off these questions off while heading upstairs. I really didn't want to know if she had brought someone else of them to her room or what they did there. Imagining her with one of the others was rather strange. I didn't know though, and I didn't want to. Not that I particularly cared. It was just obvious that Eadlyn wouldn't let anyone cross her walls.
Up in my room, I grabbed my book about the design of windows and my sketch blog, and headed down to my temporary quarters. I didn't really like the room, to be honest it just felt to shiny and cleaned up and fake it almost made me laugh. Sitting on the bed, I went through my sketches until I found the one I was looking for where I wanted to improve the construction of the windows. Looking at it, I remembered Eadlyn carefully patting the tiny boxes I had drawn. Don't make it look like it's not important. It was really just an idea. I'd better stop thinking about her hands, or the way her hair fell into her face when she was feeling helpless. Otherwise I would feel helpless, helplessly drawn towards her.
I wasn't falling for Eadlyn Schreave, that was for sure. I hadn't talked to her in ages. Because what should I tell her? Pretty sure she wouldn't want to hear a thing. Nothing would ever seem important if you lost someone. But I wanted nothing more badly than to go right now, I wanted to help her. The way they stared, the others were probably already assuming I was with her. Because I couldn't concentrate on my work anyway, I left the room and took a hidden staircase in the wall just next to it to get to the third floor again. I kind of liked the hidden hallways and staircases. They made me feel like I could disappear whenever I liked from the palace, whenever I felt trapped in here again. A minute later I stood in front of her room, suddenly nervous.
I heard the sobs the exact moment I wanted to knock at her door, and stopped dead in the movement although I wanted nothing more than to enter that room and take her into my arms and comfort her because she was crying so hard. But how could one be a comfort to someone whose mother was in coma for weeks now? I still felt that enormous pain inside my chest every time I saw her in the hall or for the report. I knew she wasn't going on dates any more since Ahren left and America had had a heart attack, and I couldn't be angry. I fully understood, although some others didn't seem to. Seven already left since then, and she didn't actually care, at least that was the common impression.
I was still debating whether to go in or not, I knew the decision had somehow been made downstairs, and my hand seemed to knock the door, carefully, without my brain agreeing.
Inside the room everything had gone still. No answer. It seemed unreasonable to knock again, because for sure she had heard me.
Opening the door slowly, I saw Eadlyn sitting on the floor in front of the window that reached the floor of the room, watching the rain pouring down against the glass. Her hair was messy, and even her back seemed to be grieving. It ripping at me to see her so broken. She had always been so strong, so independent and so emotionless. How horrible things had become. At first, she didn't seem to notice me, but eventually, she asked: "Could you close the door?" in the weakest voice I had ever heard her speaking. I did so and was beside her in an instant. Careful not to come to close, I sat down next to her, not looking at her. I didn't know if she could stand me asking anything, and my face was probably question and pity enough. And I also didn't know if I could stand seeing her expression, even if this was stupid and irritating. So we just sat in silence for a long while.
„Kile", she started eventually, „why are you here?" Why was I? „Because I care", I said simply, „And because it breaks me to see you so lost, so sad. I want to help you, I want to comfort you, and it breaks me that I can't, and because I don't want you to be alone." I didn't know where the words came from, I just knew they were true.
„But you can", Eadlyn whispered, „help me, I mean. You don't know what it means that you came, that someone actually came and is here for me." Her voice wasn't even a whisper when she added „I can't handle it alone. I have tried and tried to fix me, but I can't. I can't just put on a brave face and smile and be a princess as if it was nothing. I can't..."
It shocked me. It just wasn't fair, for her to lose her mother, none of this was ever fair. „And you don't have to", I tried to assure her, „I won't leave if you don't want me to." I didn't care if I was missing a lesson in etiquettes or something, she was Eadlyn Schreave and I cared about her, and as long as she wasn't feeling better, I wouldn't go anywhere. Wherever that feeling came from, it was strong and I wanted to assure her, that I'd be there no matter what. But how did you say that to someone who thinks she has lost everything?
Maybe she could feel it too, this strong thing, maybe she could feel she could trust me, because she rested her head on my shoulder, lost in thought. A sudden rush of feelings went through my body, an uncontrollable pain that she was just not herself, and then the selfish pain about the future that if she ever became herself again, she would never do that.
I realized that I wanted her to, that I needed her, when I started to absent-mindedly pat her hair. Somehow nothing was more important than her next to me and the rain outside.
„I want to feel it", she said suddenly. I knew she meant the rain. It sounded like such a simple plea, and yet like the desperate attempt to feel something, to get a distraction, I felt like my heart was torn apart. „Then let's go?", I suggested slowly, „do you want to go to the gardens?" I sounded like an idiot, that was for sure, and Eadlyn shook her head vigorously. „I'm not going to the gardens. Do you know how many people there are? I want to go somewhere else..." She broke off and rose up to her feet a bit shakily. When I got up as well, she was almost already through her door. On the other side of the hallway, she pushed open a panel with a staircase behind it that I didn't know. How could I have not seen it?
The fact that I didn't know where we were going made me slightly nervous, but I followed her anyway, not wanting to leave her alone and sure that I wouldn't be able to stop her.
After another staircase that went upstairs in a spiral (how many different stairs did the palace have?) we stood in front of another door. I had no idea where we were, but I somehow had the impression that this was higher than the fourth floor, which was literally not even possible.
When Eady in front of me opened the door, all I saw was a wall of rain. Suddenly I understood, this was the roof, and we were outside, but we were invisible. Eady was already outside in the pouring rain, taking in the rain, her dress quickly soaked with water, but she didn't care. I took a step forward too, letting the door shut behind me. She turned to me at the sound and finally the look on her face was lifted a little, as if she had been freed from something, although there was still the sadness below. But I knew this wasn't fake, this was real, and she needed me.
In an instant, I was with her and took her in my arms, like I had wanted to a million times today. We stayed like that for what felt like a little eternity. „Thank you", she murmured into my chest. „I'd always help you, you know?" She broke away a little, and I knew that maybe I had gone too far, had crossed a line, but she just looked up to me: "Would you really?", she asked, unsure. I stared, not sure what to say. „Yes", I admitted then, simply as it was. I knew it was true and she deserved to know that.
When she stood next to me, I finally took a look around. „I know why you wanted to come here", I tell her, „it's beautiful." Beneath us, the town was grey and blurred, but still so wonderful. On the other side of the roof platform, there was another door. There seemed to be a room behind it because I suddenly heard someone playing the piano, an old melody that sounded as sad and beautiful at the same time as Eadlyn. I turned to her again, and as if she had read my mind, she explained: "It's by Yiruma, a former New Asian pianist. She always loved this piece, it's called Kiss the Rain, and now... Kaden is the one playing it. He does that a lot, and I know it's his way to try to deal with it, and I just don't know what to do... It's so sad to see him like this, as if he lost himself, and that's just not him. He's Kaden..." „I know what you mean." It slipped out before I could stop it, and Eadlyn turned towards me once more. „Am I like that, too?", she asked quietly. „It's how I feel about you, yes", I admitted slowly, „and you said that I was helping you, so maybe you are already helping him, too. Maybe it's just the try." She bit her lip when I continued: „Nothing can make anyone of you forget what happened, and I'm not stupid enough to believe that I could find a cure for your mourning, because there is none. But if we all go through this together, there's hope, and the possibility of going ahead eventually." „What do you think she is thinking about right now? But she might want us to go on, wouldn't she? She would never want us to give up." I realized, then, that this was what had kept her going all these weeks, and it was something so wonderful and genius and true that I had still hope for this girl and her siblings. They would not give up. Ever.
„Kile", she whispered, her eyes big and full of sadness and hope and something else I couldn't define yet, „would you kiss me?" I still held her close, but I was shocked again because I didn't know if it was good idea, drowning your thoughts in kisses wouldn't make them go away. But then I suddenly realized that what was in her eyes was trust. She trusted me, enough to talk to me about it, and enough to not only use me as her distraction.
So I nodded slightly and she stood on her toes as I lowered my lips to hers. It wasn't a kiss like the ones we had had before, full of anger and passion, this was different. With my lips on hers, wet with the rain, I felt like somehow nothing existed but the two of us and the rain on our skin. The piano still playing quietly somewhere in the background, she put her arms around my neck to pull me closer, and the kiss deepened, but it was still full of slow passion and the feeling of trust, the feeling that we were safe with each other.
In that moment, I realized that I could really be there for her, and that maybe we needed each other in our lives. Of course it wasn't easy, but the trust that had settled between us made me hope. It seemed like my vision was finally clear. I was with Eadlyn Schreave, outside in the rain, and there was nowhere else I wanted to be.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. It'd make me very happy if you left a short review.
