The following is a collection of loosely related Hidan / Kakuzu partnership one-shots. Every segment is based on a phrase or quote that got me thinking about those two at some point.


book of eternal life


contradictions

It took a whole of two killings, an interrupted business discussion, and a pagan prayer over a disfigured body for Kakuzu to realize his new partner was never going to die or mind his own business. Which, in and of itself, was both the wanton caveman's finest quality and greatest vice. It was a contradiction. Everything about this arrangement was an unpleasant, necessary contradiction. Because Kakuzu was in need of a partner who was as indestructible as his patience was not, but then he was also in need to stay on top of his sanity if he was to carry forward with his duties of a treasurer. And those two appeared to be mutually exclusive when it came to that man.

"I mean," the immortal half-wit drawled like a month, only this one could not be so easily crushed to a bloody smudge on the wall. He could, strictly speaking, at least that was still within Kakuzu's power, but then the smudge would probably just laugh, commenting on the joy of sudden pain, or what a lovely day it was to die and deal out death. Heathen gods and laughing smudges. Kakuzu feared he might lose his better judgment if he spent too much time in the company of this fanatic. "Jashin-sama I can understand. He's too elevated for ye sinners. But how do you not believe in any god at all? You dress like a fuckin' nun!"

Kakuzu flung his briefcase down on the basin stand. The ataractic sound of metal clips clicking apart was perhaps the only thing keeping his irritation in check.