This fic does not follow the direct sequence of the Prime Minister's Brain, for instance, Ian does not vanish, instead he is captured by the whitecoats. Same as in 'Masterminds', this story is cut up into snippets.


STOLEN KISSES

For the fifth time in ten minutes, Lloyd Hunter rolled his eyes. Once again, his little brother was snogging his girlfriend's face off. He didn't mind the activities that Harvey and Ingrid got up too, but sorely wished that they would partake in them in private.

As he led the group towards the chute, avoiding the whitecoats roaming around the place, Lloyd whipped his head round when he heard Ian hiss:

"Stop it you two! We're gonna get caught if you carry on!"

Ingrid broke away, inhaling a huge amount of air. "S-S-Shut up! W-We can do w-what we want!"

Lloyd copied Ian's glare and started to scold the couple furiously. "Maybe so, but not right now! Do you want to get caught?!"

As Harvey poked his tongue out, Ingrid sniped smugly: "We wouldn't care! We're Masterminds anyway!"

Before anyone could react, Mandy was hustling them towards the chute, whispering at them to calm down and to be silent as one of the whitecoats was nearing the area they were sneaking through.

Spotting the chute, Lloyd moved aside, shepherding the others into the chute before climbing in himself. Overjoyed at the fact that they had not been spotted, Lloyd began wriggling up the chute, a groan escaping from his lips at the effort that it took to shimmy up the chute.

However, Lloyd had no choice but to cease wriggling all together when he encountered a blockage in the form of Mandy. She was utterly still, not even shifting when Lloyd started snapping at her and nudging her, which was an idiotic action to do considering their current location.

"Mandy! Why have you stopped?!"

"CHRIST SAKE! LLOYD, YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT IS HAPPENING UP HERE!"

Wary at what Ian meant, the chairman of SPLAT replied: "Well, what is happening? Mandy won't move!"

"Sorry, Lloyd... But I can't..."

"Why?!"

"Cause Lloyd, the two 'Masterminds' are currently exploring each other's mouths!"

Hearing this, Lloyd inclined his head upwards, grateful when Mandy managed to shift slightly so that he had a clear view of the events above. Rage sprawled onto his features as his gaze encountered the couple.

They were lodged opposite each other, Ingrid on the other side of the chute compared to everyone else and they were currently thrusting their tongues down the other's throats. Hands splayed on the wall behind them, Harvey and Ingrid bobbed up and down, either ignoring or not hearing the angry remarks made about them.

The pair finally broke apart when Ian booted the side of the wall that Ingrid was on, causing her to jump, hands slipping. Mouth now free of Harvey, she barked:

"What the HELL?! I COULD HAVE DIED JUST THEN!"

Ian sneered and went to retort when a sudden shout resulted in them falling silent.

"STOP IT!"

Mandy panted heavily, exclaiming: "We all need to calm down! Look, we have to find Dinah! And fast!"

At the bottom of the group, Lloyd nodded, speaking up to his friends. "M's right. We can argue about all of this later. Let's get moving!"

"We would, but Ian's big arse is in the way!"

"Yeah Ian, hustle! Everyone, do the hustle! Do, do, do, do-"

Ian groaned. "Shut up Harv, and Ingrid, I do not have a big arse!"

"Yeah you do, but Harv-Harv's is better. More rounder and better for-"

"Oh god, too much information! Alright, alright, I'll move."

There was the sound of grunting as Ian continued up the chute, the rest of SPLAT following after him.


"Oh brilliant!"

Lloyd smacked his hand against his head in frustration as Mandy desperately tried to prise the lift doors open with her fingers. Ian had just been caught by one of the whitecoats and shoved into the lift, presumably then carried away up to the main section to see the Headmaster.

'Two down, four to go.' Lloyd thought grimly.

Mandy retracted her fingers, crying: "Oh, it's hopeless! We're just going to have to speed up our pace and get to the main section as quickly as we can!"

Lloyd nodded, declaring: "Into the chute!... Where's H and Ing?"

Meanwhile, Harvey and Ingrid were cosied up in the corner, resuming their passionate kissing. Harvey's hands were tangled in Ingrid's hair whilst Ingrid's own ones were exploring her boyfriend's backside, kneading and caressing it roughly.

Harvey jerked, pulling away in surprise. "Ing-Ing! Be a bit more gentle!"

Ingrid smirked, leaning towards Harvey's ear. She whispered saucily: "But where would be the fun in that?"

Harvey raised his eyebrows. "True… Oh to hell with it."

Before either of them could move, Lloyd was storming over to the two of them. Once within whispering distance, he bellowed lowly:

"Stop messing about!"

"We are n-"

"Be quiet, Ingrid. This is a very serious situation and you two are just happily kissing each other's lips off! Ian has just been abducted and you don't seem to care!"

Lloyd was pleased at the remorse that blossomed over his little brother's face at this statement, but still enraged that Ingrid was glowering at him. Luckily for everyone, Mandy bustled over at that moment. Smiling sadly at her 'little ones', she murmured:

"I know you want to have a bit of fun, but maybe save it for later? Once we're at your Aunt's place?"

Harvey sighed and nodded, standing up. Ingrid did so as well, snapping fiercely: "Don't ever accuse us of not caring about someone again!"

Lloyd sniped back: "I won't, but if I see you two kissing just one more time..."

He trailed off his threat upon seeing Harvey gulping. Ingrid jutted out her chin, not afraid. "Fine, but we get to lead!"

Grabbing her boyfriend's hand, she tugged him to the chute.


Shepherding the Brains, Lloyd, Ian and Mandy up the staircase, Harvey's eyes bulged when Ingrid pecked his cheek. Whipping his head round, he spoke in a worried tone.

"Ingy! You know what L-Lloyd said. We-"

He was cut off by a chaste kiss to the lips. Ingrid pulled back, striding across the platform and watching as the others clambered into the chute, one by one. Harvey ambled along, ignoring the Octopus in the background. When it was just the pair of them on the platform, Harvey received his answer.

Throwing herself at her boyfriend, Ingrid beamed up at him.

"What he said was that he didn't want to see us kissing again. Lloyd didn't say anything about us not being able to kiss."

Realisation dawned on Harvey's face and he allowed Ingrid to snuggle against him. Dropping a kiss onto her head, he murmured:

"I love you, Ing-Ing."

"Love you too, Harv-Harv. Now we should get up that chute before they annihilate us!"


At the other end of the chute, the rescued Brains, Ian, Mandy and Lloyd were bunched together. Whitecoats were swarming towards them and they knew that they were powerless to stop them. Lloyd growled as he was ripped away from his friends and the strangers, kicking out as he was dragged to the lift.

Amidst the cries and shouts, he stayed silent. Though his little brother and girlfriend were Immune against both the Octopus and the Headmaster, he did not want them being caught. They were only little kids after all and would end up being utterly terrified if confronted by their nemesis, Harvey especially.

Lloyd held hope in his mind as he was pulled into the lift. No matter how much he hoped, he could not tear his gaze away from the Octopus and like the others around him, his mind soon became lost.


"Hey, where are the others?!"

Ingrid Smith glanced round the warehouse as Harvey Hunter applied his asthma pump. They had just emerged from the chute, only to encounter a room devoid of people.

Growling, Ingrid hissed: "Back in the chute… For crap sake!"

Harvey only groaned around his pump. He needed a rest!


As the lift doors opened, the children blinked. The three Brains sighed as they were shoved into the main section. Though they had attempted to escape, they were right back where they had started, to their utter misery.

The three eldest members of SPLAT gaped in horror as the Headmaster pounded towards them, his pale face livid with anger. He halted before the group, looming over them. He sneered at the Brains before glowering heatedly at the trio.

"So… the three of you thought that you could rescue Miss Clever… Hunter! Well, you certainly failed that then."

The Headmaster smirked as Lloyd snapped back: "We'll still stop you!"

"Oh really?"

Ian nodded. "Yeah, Harvey and Ingrid are going to TAKE YOU DOWN!"

The Headmaster scoffed. "I highly doubt it. Those two brats are useless."

Dinah was now standing beside her friends and she stared defiantly at the Headmaster, muttering:

"They are not. In fact, they are Immune to the Octopus."

No matter how hard he tried to mask it, a spasm of rage and shock flitted across the Headmaster's face. A deep growl rumbled in his chest and he spun on his heel, stalking towards the front of the room, ordering the whitecoats along the way.

"Contain them and do not allow them near any available exits."

The Headmaster switched the CCTV footage onto the main screen, concealed eyes scanning the flickering boxes for any signs of the couple. Eventually, he found them. They were about to enter the main section.

Stifling a laugh as Lloyd screamed at the top of his lungs for his brother and girlfriend to 'turn back now!', the Headmaster backed away from his computer, into the area where the other computers were and withdrew a remote control.

Pressing a button, he smirked as a force field appeared, barring access to the small section where his computer and the main screen was. When Hunter and Smith emerged from the chute, they would have access to his computer which was unavoidable, but he was certain that the pair were lacking the intellect needed to enter his computer, let alone wipe his name off of the list.

However what made it all the sweeter, was that the force field gave off the illusion that on the other side of the room, there was no one there. The couple would think that they were all alone, not knowing that their friends were only a few feet away. The Headmaster's smirk widened. This, he was going to relish.


Harvey and Ingrid climbed out of the chute, wandering into the main section. They both frowned. No one else was there. Ingrid suddenly grinned with joy.

"Maybe the Headmaster electrocuted himself?! And the others got away!"

Harvey spoke softly. "Impossible. If he did electrocute himself, where's his body? And even if the others had escaped from the whitecoats, they would have probably escaped down the chute."

Ingrid's face fell as she mumbled: "Oh yeah."

Eyes roaming the room, she piped up in an abrupt manner. "Wanna make out?"

Not hearing the screams on the other side of the unseen force-field, Harvey raised an eyebrow.

"Erm, shouldn't we be trying to stop the Headmaster? I mean the others are probably still in the building somewhere and we don't know if his plans are still going ahead."

"Fine. It was just a thought."

"Ingy, I-"

"Harvey! I just suggested it, alright?!"

Harvey recoiled and Ingrid sighed, admitting quietly: "You're right, baby, I'm sorry. I just want to… we never get time to ourselves nowadays so I just wanted to… Celebrate… our love for each other."

Nodding, Harvey whispered: "We will do. But right now, we have to stop the Demon."

On the other side of the force-field, there were cheers and joyous cries. The Headmaster scowled. They would be paying for calling him 'Demon!'

Ingrid went over to the computer, kissing her teeth when she knocked a pen off of the table. Sighing, she leant over the desk, wriggling about in an attempt to retrieve the pen. This position, though nothing to her, was having a massive effect on her boyfriend.

Harvey swallowed, eyes fixated on his girlfriend's backside. His mind turned to lewd thoughts as he imagined cupping it and getting Ingrid to grind back against his dick.

Maybe even thrusting into her from behind-

Harvey blinked, shaking his head as Ingrid exclaimed: "Babe? Do you have a good view?"

Smirk adorning his face, Harvey drawled back: "Yeah, best view ever."

Ingrid straightened up, pen in hand and turned round. She cocked an eyebrow. "Mmh yeah, I was talking about the area in general. Not my arse."

Harvey licked his lips suggestively, then shrugged. "We could try the computer, but I don't know if we'd be able to get in."

"Well let's try! We have to prove to the rest of SPLAT that we can be as good as them!"

On the other side of the force field, Mandy whispered:

"You don't have to prove anything. You two are awesome anyway."


After fruitless attempts at trying to unlock the main computer, Harvey and Ingrid gave up and promptly divulged into temptation. Harvey sat on the table, legs outstretched whilst Ingrid clambered onto his lap, grinding down hard. Their tongues twirled as hands tore at the other's clothing.

The Headmaster grimaced and turned his head away, smirking at the susceptible children. The Brains were horrified at the fact that their only hope had given up and SPLAT were left speechless. Lloyd was fuming, wanting to put some sense into Harvey and Ingrid. If they didn't stop soon, then the Headmaster would be able to win without any issues and the country would be in danger again.

Beth started to cry, hugging her toy and the other children snapped out of their silence. Very quickly, a chorus of screams built up, as they attempted to let Harvey and Ingrid know that they were there.

On the other side, the couple pulled apart. Their hair was tousled and their clothes ripped slightly. Ingrid frowned, whispering:

"Do you hear something?"

Harvey wrenched his gaze away from his girlfriend's chest. "No… hold on. Yeah!"

As the two clambered off of the table, the screen behind them flickered from the darkness that had permeated it to the dreaded Octopus. Hearing the robotic chant, Harvey and Ingrid entwined hands and stepped away from the screen.

Their free hands were brought up into the air, and a flicker later, they were flipping the bird at the Octopus. Both of them snapped:

"Fuck you, Octopus."