This little thing came rushing out last night when I was in a dull mood and it was way past midnight. it's a little dark, but I've quite a bit written. Sorry if you lot find it too... depressing. It eventually gets better. I think 3

Dedicated to rikkucheerio for being an amazing writer and Liz for being an awesome beta.

Disclaimer: Do not own and / or profit from.


Nothing

Jennifer Shepard felt as if she had nothing. Nothing existed in her life to give her warmth, love, affection. The closest thing she had to a friend was her secretary and housekeeper, who didn't count because they worked for her. Once, she had counted Gibbs and the team as her friends, but she doubted they even wanted to know her after what had happened with the Frog.

She didn't blame them.

Now,all she had left was a bottle of Bourbon and her job. Her job. She wasn't so sure it was worth it anymore. She'd given up any chance at personal happiness to reach the point she was now; first female director of an armed federal agency. She would have made her father proud of her. She had followed her five-point plan to the letter and it had gotten her the chair she coveted. Mission: successful. Result: she was now doubting every single part of it.

A knock on her door drew her out of her reverie. "Come in." she called in a calm voice, taking her reading glasses off. She'd not really been concentrating on the case files in front of her. Anyone who saw the glass of Bourbon by her elbow would have guessed as much.

"Director," Cynthia said, poking her head through the door. "Senator Marley is here to see you." she informed her. Jenny let out a deep sigh, then prepared herself for what Gibbs had aptly called 'ass-kissing'.

She really did wonder if it was worth it all.


"You done playing politics, Director?"

She really wasn't surprised anymore. Once, she would have been irritated at the way he disregarded the existence of both her secretary and her office door. However, she'd gotten used to his rudeness. What she could never get used to was the way he now looked at her; his eyes were cold and distant. He never called her by her name anymore, only when trying to drive a point home. She suspected he secretly liked it, using her own feelings against her. At this point, she was too tired to keep fighting.

"Can I do something for you,Jethro?" she asked, sighing and not looking up at him. She really wasn't in the mood to fight with him. What she really wanted, if she'd allow herself to admit it, was for him to stop hating her so much and forgive her. She'd never entertain the childish notion of him ever loving her again. The incident with the Frog had driven them too far apart already. Using his name was a sort of white flag. She just hoped he wouldn't shoot it down.

"You can tell me why my team was pulled off active duty, Director." Gibbs replied, walking up to her desk and placing both hands on it so that he could loom over her. Reflexively, Jen leaned back against her chair so that she could meet his eyes. She kept the pain and misery out of her irises when she saw the clearly hostile expression on Gibbs' face. Inwardly, she groaned and wished he could just drop it, if only for a moment. Maybe pretend that they could still actually get along.

"Your last case was a very heavy case, Agent Gibbs." Jen explained wearily, looking up at him. His blue eyes were so hard! "The psych evaluation you took afterwards suggested you stay off active duty for a few days. I'm compelled to obey the shrink." she said in an een voice, already bracing her fragile self. She knew this would escalate into a fight.

It almost always did nowadays.

"And you'd have us sitting on our ass while people die?" Gibbs demanded in a loud voice, slamming one palm down on her desk. "Last time we weren't on duty, Paula's team got killed!" he exclaimed in his marine voice, obviously trying to intimidate her. Jenny knew that trick.

She knew all of them.

Right then, however, she had had enough. Something snapped in her as Gibbs glared at her. She knew she deserved it, but she had had enough.

"Agent Gibbs!" she bit back, rising to her feet and shooting him one of her finest deathglares. "I do not care what you want or what you demand of me. This is my Agency and I shall pull you off duty if I so wish! You might like to bend the rules, but you will not get your way this time! Return to your desk and catch up on your paperwork, or I willhave you suspended!" she hissed, tired, angry and just plain miserable. They weren't supposed to be like this.

"That right, Di-rec-tor?" he drawled sarcastically, their faces mere inches apart as they stared each other down. He would wait her out. He would win, beating her at her own game.

"Get out of my office, Agent Gibbs." Jen said in a suddenly low, dangerous tone. Her green eyes were hard as stone, and about as warm. She held his gaze for only a few more seconds before sitting down and reaching for her glasses. Inwardly, he smirked triumphantly; he'd conquered her. That was only her way of stopping a confrontation. Smugly, he turned and walked towards the door.

"If it remains your office for much longer." he threw at her, closing the door behind him with a satisfying bam, just to add insult to injury.

When he was gone, Jen put her head in her hands, shaking slightly. "I can't keep doing this..." she told herself softly. Her voice broke and, if Gibbs had waited outside long enough, he wold have hard her starting to cry.