A/N: Hey everyone! Just a little Downton Abbey oneshot with the best couple in the whole entire world no matter what, Lady Mary and Captain Matthew. Yay. This takes place during season 2 (not sure which episode, they all end up running together in my head), but that time that Matthew is on leave and stays at Downton. This obviously never actually happens but hey, that's what Fanfiction is for amiright? Okay enough rambling. Enjoy.
I may be dreaming, but until I awake, can we make this dream last forever? ...Some people wait a lifetime, for a moment like this. Some people search forever, for that one special kiss. Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me. Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
-Kelly Clarkson
She was surely going to wear a hole in the carpet, the way she was pacing back and forth. The nobleman's daughter looked over at the grandfather clock for what seemed like the millionth time. Where in earth was he?
There was a knock at the door, and Lady Mary Crawley's breathing ceased. She peeked at herself in the dresser mirror across the room; was her hair a mess? It was down in curls, resting from the tight updo that was custom of women of her social ranking. It was not the neatest, but she told herself to calm down. Her hair did not matter to him, and thinking about it made her smile.
A knock resounded throughout the silent room for the second time, and Lady Mary walked quickly towards it, composed herself at the knob, and opened the door, her heart fluttering rapidly.
"I hope I haven't startled you, m'lady," Anna said softly. Mary let out a sigh and let her rehearsed smile fall into a natural, expressionless face. She opened the door wider and motioned for Anna to come in.
"It's quite alright, Anna, I was just getting ready for bed," Mary said, wrapping her shawl tighter around her shoulders. "What's the matter?"
Anna looked around and then leaned in closer, as if to tell a secret. "M'lady, there's word that Lady Sybil and Mr. Branson are getting quite...close. I thought you should be informed."
Mary was taken aback for a moment but then chuckled. "Mr. Branson, the chauffer? That's nonsense, of course, they're just acquaintances. You know Sybil, always making friends. Where would you get such an idea, Anna?"
Anna looked down ashamedly. "Yes, of course, m'lady. Most likely a mistake. All kinds of absurd rumors are spread downstairs. Sorry to disturb you."
Mary shook her head and put a hand on Anna's shoulder. "No, no, thank you for telling me. I'll be sure to keep a close eye on her, try to nip anything in the bud. Goodnight, Anna."
Anna smiled as she opened the door and stepped out. "Goodnight, m'lady."
When the door was shut, Mary smiled in amusement at the thought of Sybil getting close with the chauffer. However, her smile fell when there was another quiet knock on her door. She knew from the sound of his hand on the wood that it was him. Her heart resumed its rapid, uneven beating, and she turned the doorknob and opened the door before she could change her mind.
"I'm not sure you've been informed, but Edith's room is across the hall," Mary whispered jokingly in reference to her sister's initial crush on the man standing in front of her.
Captain Matthew Crawley's lips curled upwards. "Yes, and Lavinia's room is across the house, but somehow I'm at your door instead," he whispered back. Mary stepped aside from the door and closed it after he walked inside. They stood still for a moment, avoiding direct eye contact like grade school children.
Finally, Mary felt Matthew grasp her dainty hand in his calloused one. Those hands had fought in a war that Mary wished they didn't have to return to. She looked up as he pulled her closer, her heart still pounding a mile a minute. He took her other hand so that both of their hands were together, their fingers intertwined. She looked into his clear blue eyes, but before she had more time to get lost in them he leaned down and their lips met.
Any and all uncertainty Mary had before was instantly washed away. Matthew wrapped his hands around Mary's waist and she returned the favor by resting hers around his neck. They stayed in this position for what felt like centuries. Mary smiled against his lips and Matthew pulled away.
"Is something wrong?" he asked, tucking a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear.
"No," she shook her head, looking down. "It's just that, despite the war, despite the fact that there are strangers in my home, I've never been happier than I am right now. Here, with you."
Matthew sighed and looked at her. "You know that if I could, I'd break off the engagement with Lavinia in a heartbeat," he whispered. "After the war, we'll be married, and every day will be just like this moment..."
Mary rested her head on his chest. They rocked back and forth, dancing to the beat of their own hearts. "Let's not think about the future," she said, trying not to allow herself to dwell on the looming yet probable outcome for Matthew when his leave ended and he returned to the trenches. It made her heart ache, and she squeezed him tighter.
Matthew lifted her chin with his finger, and this time it was Mary who closed the gap between their lips. After a few moments of kissing, Matthew broke away from her and walked over to the bed, sitting at its foot. Mary followed him but had a strange feeling in her stomach, almost as if she were going to throw up. Memories of the Turkish ambassador's visit years before flashed through her mind and she pulled away, putting her head in her hands.
"What's wrong?" Matthew asked, putting a hand on her back.
Mary looked over at him with a distraught expression. "I'm sorry, I can't do this. It isn't you, I..."
Matthew wrapped his arms around his former fiancé, rubbing her back. "It's alright," he whispered. "I don't think I'm ready myself for it, to be honest. We'll wait until our wedding night. After the war. It will be wonderful, I promise you."
Mary hugged him back. Every time he mentioned after the war, she couldn't help but picture his gravestone along with thousands of others. She shook that thought from her mind and clutched him tighter. She needed to be mindful of the present, not dwell in the future.
Matthew lay back on the bed and she joined him, resting her head on his chest. She remembered when he first went off to war; she had knelt by her bedside, praying to a God she wasn't sure existed. She begged for Him to keep Matthew safe. So far it had worked; he was still in one piece.
Mary leaned up and kissed Matthew's forehead. "Please be safe," she whispered. "I don't want to lose you."
"Only if you promise to be here when I get back," he said softly, running his fingers up and down her back.
Mary hated crying in front of people, especially Matthew, but she could not hold her tears in any longer. Knowing that this may be the last time she'd ever get to cuddle with her true love, to be able to feel his heartbeat, was too much to bear.
"I'm scared," she announced once her silent tears stopped flowing. She would have never admitted it to anyone else, but this was Matthew. He was the only one that was allowed to see her so vulnerable.
"Shh," Matthew said as he continued to rub Mary's back. He had tears of his own, but he could not let them show while Mary was like this. He had to keep her strong. "I'll be back, I promise. And then we'll be married. We'll have three children running all around Downton, and we can sit outside on rocking chairs instead of the stuffy library after supper."
Mary smiled and looked up at him. "We'll have to name one Violet. Granny's already distraught over the fact that Papa didn't name any of us after her."
"Why of course," Matthew chuckled. "But if that's the case, then we'll have to name one Isobel or else my mother'll have a fit."
Mary smiled against Matthew's chest, and silence consumed the room foor what seemed like hours. They could clearly hear the sounds of injured soldiers moaning in pain throughout the house, but did not think much of it; Mary had gotten used to it over the few months that Downton had been converted to a hospital, and Matthew had heard much worse things on the war front.
"Are you alright?" Matthew finally asked, breaking the peaceful silence.
Mary looked into his ice blue eyes and smiled. "Yes," she smiled. "I've never been happier in my whole life than I am right here with you."
A/N: So did you hate it, love it, like it? Review please :D Thanks!