This day has come to soon. I wasn't ready for the rehearsal dinner so I got wasted. I'm not ready for the actual wedding, yet, here it is, and here I am. For some reason I was thinking the longer it took me to get dressed, the longer I could put off actually having to go to this wedding. And I actually had a serious excuse. All the booze I drank last night fought my stomach when I ate my breakfast and I've already thrown up twice. I'm just looking out for the guests. I mean…you wouldn't want a sick guy sitting next to you in the pew. It just wouldn't make for a good wedding. And let's be honest. Weddings are so cheesy and romantic, everyone is thinking about throwing up anyway. I know it probably seems like I'm being forced to go to my worst enemies wedding, and I just don't want to, making up all kinds of excuses, but in all honesty it's my own child's wedding. My first born is getting married and I'm being forced to set through it, and watch her take another man's name. For 23 years she had my last name, and for 23 years she came to me with all her problems, her tears and her worries. I was her shoulder and I was the reason she smiled in the morning. I was the one who taught her how to throw a football, and I was the one who taught her that no boy is worth her tears. What happens when the next time she needs a shoulder, mine is empty?
I forced myself to stand up and look at myself in the mirror. I had some bags under my eyes and my hair was a mess, mostly because I kept running my hands through them. My daughter wasn't going to be happy if I looked like a drunk hobo at her wedding, but neither would my wife and I was more worried about her. I sighed out, sad and irritated as I ran the black comb through my hair still looking at my pathetic face. My tie was still undone and my shirt wasn't even buttoned. I've been up for almost three hours and I still didn't have my shit together. I should probably shave but maybe if I didn't they'd cancel the wedding, she'd realize what a mistake it was marrying this guy and come back to live with me and her mom. Wishful thinking I know. "Kendall?" I cleared my throat feeling it swelling up from all my sad thoughts, inevitably making me cry. I wiped the corner of my left eye quick and put the comb down turning and looking out of the small bathroom. I heard the door shut softly to the room and seconds later, appeared the most beautiful women in the world. "Baby…you don't look very good." Jenna walked right up to me, tucking her fingers in the waist band of my black pants and I turned my head looking at the wall next to me. "I'm sorry this is so hard. I wish I could help you." There was a sweet loving kiss to my open exposed neck and I closed my eyes reaching out, and holding her hips softly.
"Can you cancel the wedding?" Her lips moved over my neck softly, but sensually and I smiled hearing her chuckle. "Ya know…it feels like yesterday we were sending her off to college, and you were a complete wreck . Now it's her wedding day and you're as cool as a summer breeze."
"On the outside…I'm a freakin wreck right now on the inside babe. I just know how excited and happy she is to start this next chapter in her life and I want to support her because one day she's going to have a life with this man, and make us lots of grandbabies. I want grandbabies Kendall."
"Jenna we still have two kids of our own." I felt her pull away from me and I looked back down at her. I smiled reaching up and cupping her face with one hand while the other gently brushed her pretty black hair off the side of her face. She had her bangs pinned back on top of her head and had her long hair curled and hung down around her shoulder and black. She had a light purple on her eyelids and black liner around her pretty hazel eyes. The purple on her eyes matched the long light purple dress she was wearing. It was sort of cut low in the front, showing just enough cleavage for my viewing pleasure. She had little sleeves covering her shoulders, and in the back was a cute little bow. I know how much she hated this dress because it was the typical mother of the bride dress but I thought she looked stunning and so perfect.
"I tell you what Mr. Sad Eyes…" I frowned and she walked into me pressing our bodies together. "I want you to think of today as the one and only day you will ever have to see one of your daughters get married." I laughed and gently wrapped around her, holding her softly.
"Jen…we only have one daughter."
"I know! Which is great because whoever marries our adorable yet special boys, their fathers have to deal with the pain your dealing with now because trust me…we're going to be happy when they leave the house." I laughed again and cupped both sides of her face pulling her in and kissing her softly. I could tell she pushed up on her tippy toes because the two inch heels weren't making her tall enough to reach me. My height was sometimes a curse, other times a blessing.
We made out for a solid 10 minutes, hands roaming here and there. I made sure not to touch and mess up her hair and she never took my pants off which was good because if she did we would be having sex on the bathroom floor of this church I paid a lot of money to use for my daughter's wedding. We probably could have kissed and touched longer, but there were knocks on the door and one of my sons voice boomed through the wood. "Dad? Mom? We're having a slight problem with Christina!" I gently pulled away still holding her face and frowned.
"What's wrong?" I gently kissed Jen's forehead and walked out past her shaking my head and buttoning my shirt up. I pulled the big wooden door open and saw my second oldest child, Josh standing in his full tux, looking worried. "What's up buddy?" He frowned and shrugged shaking his head.
"Well she locked herself in the bathroom. She said she's not coming out and she won't talk to anyone. We even tried to get Andy to talk to her but she yelled at him and told him to go fuck himself."
"Josh!" Jen pushed past em and smacked the back of his head making him turn to her and glare at her. "Language! I don't care if you heard you sister say it!" I shook my head and put turned walking back to the small couch, and slipped on my black socks and then my shiny black shoes. I grabbed my jacket and my phone and quickly walked out of the room, Josh and Jenna right by me on either side. "She just has cold feet. It's alright I'll talk to her and get it all taken care of." I only nodded along slipping my jacket on and then tucking my shirt into my pants. Josh led us right to the huge room Christian was using to get ready. When we got in, I frowned seeing Andy, my other son, Michael and Andy's parents standing outside a door listening in with their ears pressed to the wood. Jenna walked up to them quick, shooing them away and put her hand on the knob. It didn't budge. She sighed and put her free hand on her hip. "Christina baby…it's mom. Can I come in?" We all waited, standing on edge just to hear her speak.
"No." It was barely a whisper but when Andy's mom heard it she threw her hand sup and stomped around.
"This wedding is already paid for and we have a lot of distant relatives out there waiting. She better come out." I walked towards her glaring at her and her husband shaking my head.
"First of all, you didn't pay for it so I don't know why your upset, and second they can wait as long as we need them too because it isn't their wedding it's my daughters and your sons and if they have a problem they can leave." The whole room went quiet and I saw my kids snickering at the two parents who had wide open mouths and angry eyes. I sighed and turned to Jenna who also had a smirk on her face but was trying to hide it desperately. And then Christian spoke again, and cleared all the grey storm clouds form my head.
"Daddy?" We all turned to the door and my heart picked up speed, thumping out of my chest. I walked to the door beside her mom and sighed setting my head on it.
"How you doing sweetheart?" I heard a small sniffle and then movement like of a small and scared body of my little girl.
"Not good…" I closed my eyes and set my hand on the knob. My heart was breaking for her. "Can you come in?" I perked up and opened my eyes looking at Jenna who looked a little hurt but also kind of happy. She patted my shoulder gently and turned to everyone else in the room.
"Okay…everyone out. Let them talk." She pushed on both Josh and Michaels shoulders towards the door. The in-laws left quickly, while Andy stayed back a little looking worried and sad. Jenna linked arms with him and led him out, telling him everything would be okay and that I'd take care of it. As soon as the door closed the one from the bathroom was clicked unlocked and pulled open slowly. I looked in and had to smile big. Even though I could tell she had been crying, she looked so beautiful, and I felt so proud. Her wedding dress wasn't too big or flashy but it was the perfect white and covered enough of her to make me comfortable. It was strapless and it was tight on the top around her chest and stomach, but it flowed out on the bottom and was a little puffy with tool. I thought, besides Jenna on our wedding, she was the most beautiful bride in the world.
"Daddy am I making a mistake?" My world came crashing down when she walked out to me with tears flowing out of her eyes. She stopped inches form me, and bit her bottom lip looking down. "I'm so scared of messing up, and disappointing you and mom. I can't decide whether I'm going to throw up or pass out. My head hasn't stopped spinning since last night and if I have to hear another person tell me I look green I'm going to hit someone." I smiled small knowing she got this temper form me, and the need to defend herself with violence from her mother. "I told my fiancé to go fuck himself dad. Name one other bride that has ever done that." I laughed quietly making her look up, angry. It passed fast though because she smiled small and wiped at her face, wiping away the line of tears. I put one hand in my pocket and reached out to her wiping away a tear she missed. "And to really add the cherry on top his parents hate me, and know I'm going to back out or in some way embarrass myself. Their lucky I actually love their son because it wouldn't be worth it."
"So why are you crying then?" She paused and looked up at me with full wet green eyes. I gently grabbed her arm and turned myself walking to the couch in the center of the room. I set her down carefully, not to mess up her dress or her pretty hair. I sat next to her grabbing her hand and squeezing softly. "You just told me you love him." She blushed, just a little and looked down at our hands being held together. "Do you know how hard it was to convince myself not to cry all this morning?" She looked up fast and I chuckled glancing around the bright room. "You are my only daughter, and my first child. I've watched you grow up, much faster than I would have liked and throughout all the years I've got myself ready for this day, and then the day came and I turned into the biggest baby on the planet. But…" I turned back to her, seeing her crying again, hopefully this time because she was happy. I let her hand go and raised my arm letting her collide in with my body hugging me hard. "But…even though I'm sad you're grown up and that your marrying a man who treats you right I would never ever do anything to stop your happiness for my own." I heard a soft sniffle under my head and laid my chin on top of her soft hair. "You love him Chris…I know because you told me, and I know because you said yes to marry him in the first place. There is nothing to be afraid of when it come to love. He will never hurt you, because if he does he has to deal with me and your brothers and your mother." She laughed quietly holding me tighter and I gently rubbed her bare arm, up and down. "I woke up today, ready to beg and plead with you to not marry him because I wanted my little girl to stay my little girl forever. But that's selfish and that's one thing I'm not. You have your whole life ahead of you, with Andy and the longer you sit her with your old man, the less time you get to spend with him." She pushed up and off me and wiped her face gently shaking her head.
"How do you always know the right things to say daddy?" I smiled and shrugged tucking loose hair back into place on her beautiful head.
"Because I am your dad. It's my job." She smiled big and threw her arms around my neck digging her face into my neck. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes squeezing her tight. This very well maybe the last time I could sit down and talk with her, and hug her like this. It seems ridiculous because she's my daughter and I probably could see her whenever, but my mind wasn't thinking that way right now. "I have something I want to give you. I was going to wait until later today but, now seems like a good time." We pulled away from the hug and I reached in my pants pocket again and pulled out a small square box. I set it in front of her and she sighed softly looking down and taking it forms my hands. She shakily opened the box and laid the lid on her knee. I watched as she gently pulled the piece of paper of the box and unfolded it just once. She looked up and swallowed hard but looked back down at the plain white paper with black ink written over it. My handwriting was usually petty messy but I made sure it was clean and legible for the exact reason. She cleared her throat softly and shook her head.
"He was so proud of his little girl He sat up front on her wedding day
It was her very first day of school
He walked with her to school that day
And she held his hand all the way
They walked together quiet and sad
A little girl and her loving dad
Into the school her father led
But he almost cried when she said
Daddy, Daddy please don't go
Don't leave me here all alone
I'll miss you if you go away
And I might need you, can't you stay
Little Daughter please don't cry
You'll be okay so dry your eyes
You have our memories in your heart
We're together though we're apart
And cried as his daughter walked away
Later that night he watched her dance
He sat there waiting for his chance
The band started to play their song
Father and daughter danced along
She looked at him and saw a tear
Then leaned and whispered in his ear
Daddy, Daddy I have to go
I hate to leave you all alone
I'll miss you when I go away
But if you need me then I'll stay
Little Daughter I'll be just fine
I'll love you always you are mine
I have our memories in my heart
We're together though we're apart."
It was hard enough to write it, but to hear her read it out loud, absolutely killed me. I couldn't stop crying but neither could she so it made me feel better. When she finished the last line she threw herself back in my arms and pulled herself up on my body. I smiled through the tears and held her, as we cried all by ourselves. "Daddy I love you." I chuckled slightly and shook my head kissing hers.
"I love you too princess." She tightened her grip on my jacket and kissed my cheek. She laid her head down, pulling her knees up to her chest holding onto me like it was her source of oxygen.
"Why'd you let me grow up?" I laughed and surged letting her pull away from me, but still sat on my lap.
"Trust me…I never wanted you too." She laughed and for the 5th time since seeing her, she wiped under her eyes, wiping away the tears. "We need to get you ready to walk out to your dreams baby girl." I gently patted her back and she nodded pushing herself up. I got up after her and flattened out my shirt and brushed off my shoulders watching her walk to the bathroom and grab her makeup bag. "Do you want me to get your mom to help with your makeup?" She only laughed form inside the bathroom and applied a fresh lien of eyeliner.
"No…I like your company better. Mom nitpicks at how dark my eyeliner is. All the time." I laughed and walked into the bathroom, standing behind her and sighing softly. I started to tie my tie while she re did her eye makeup. "So is that why you look like you just woke up? You didn't want me to go through with it?" I nodded once and frowned seeing I was doing the knot wrong. I undid it aggressively and watched her put her eyeliner away and grab a makeup brush, getting a pink powder on it. She brushed it over her cheek bones once, on each side before putting it back in the bag and turning to me. She laughed and pushed my hands away pulling the tie apart and doing it for me.
"I don't know if I told you this today, but you look beautiful." She glanced up and smiled looking back at the tie.
"Thank you dad. You look pretty handsome yourself." I glanced down and opened my jacket shaking my head.
"What this old thing?" She laughed loudly and hugged me one last time, after finishing my tie. I held around her back and looked at us in the mirror just as the door opened out in the room and a few pairs of footsteps walked in. I stayed looking in the mirror until I saw Jenna and Andy's mom, Betty. Jenna smiled wide and walked into me rubbing my back and rubbing Christina.
"How are things going?" Christina pushed off me and smiled at her mom kissing her cheek and turning back to the counter grabbing a tube of lipstick.
"Almost done. Just let me apply another shade and…" She rubbed the ruby red lipstick on her little lips and rubbed them together before turning to us and smiling big. "I'm ready to walk out to my dreams." Jenna smiled big and nodded turning and walking out. Betty, surprisingly was smiling as she watched my girls walk out. I started following after but was stopped by Betty. I tensed up and she looked me up and down.
"You're a good father Kendall." I smiled and nodded politely. I hope she wasn't expecting me to say she was a good mother because I didn't even think she was a good person. "You should probably shave, don't you think?" And there was good old Betty. I frowned and walked past her.
"My dad looks fine. And I have a wedding to go to so can you go take your seat Betty?" Jenna and I locked eyes as Betty walked out, offended greatly. I laughed as soon as she was gone and walked to Christina linking arms, letting her cling to me. Her mom gave her the pretty bouquet of light and dark purple flowers. As we started walking out of the room, Jenna in front of us, Christina tugged on my sleeve. "Hey dad?" I looked down at her and we stopped right at the entrance watching Jenna walk in with both Josh and Michael at her sides, linking arms with her. "Thanks for everything. I know when I was a teenager I was a terror but…I appreciate everything you have ever given me, and done for me and I love you." I smiled and nodded fast turning away so I wouldn't cry. But I was stopped fast seeing her moving. One of her hands was slipping a piece of paper into the front of her dress by her chest. I frowned and looked down at her.
"What's that?" She smiled big and sighed out standing up straight.
"It's your poem. I'm never letting that out of my sights. That way…" I heard the music star in the distance and she looked up at me. "We'll always be together."
A/N
That poem is not my original work. I found it online and the author is Thomas S Carver. And it's no the full poem because the end is way too sad, and doesn't fit all that well with this story but if you would like to read the rest of it you can go here:
Source: We're Together Though We're Apart, In Your Heart, Daughter Poem poem/were-together-though-were-apart#ixzz2UoScXcoK
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I hope you like the story! Don't know what got me to write it but it happened.