Title taken from YOI's ending theme "You Only Live Once".
So um... I have never written something like this before, and it is serious hurt with no comfort. WARNINGS for Yuuri choosing to go mute and for major character death (though it isn't detailed).
I do not own Yuri on Ice!, and I hope you all enjoy.
Mari stays silent by his side when they skip the funeral. She could have gone; Yuuri told her to go with pleading eyes; they both knew she would be welcome; she didn't have a hand in his death. She should have gone; Yuuri wanted her to go in his place; he knew, though she insisted otherwise, that he would not be welcome; he might as well have pulled the trigger. Still, Mari chose not to go. Instead, she follows him through the rarely used forest trails of Hasetsu. She doesn't say a word about how usually, people prefer their beaches and their now famous ice rink, home to a world-renowned figure skater.
Icy blue eyes stared at him around the muzzle of the gun. In them, he saw understanding. He saw forgiveness. He saw love. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, he saw only emptiness.
Mari doesn't say a word about how Ice Castle Hasetsu used to be home to two. Yuuri appreciates it, even as he hates her for it. He hates her for a lot now. It's strange, considering how it's his love for her that started this entire thing.
"Why?" he sobbed, staring at the stranger. "Why are you doing this? What do you get out of it?" He lifted his glasses to wipe at his eyes with his sleeve, the dark purple of his free skate costume clearing away the tears. With them gone, he could finally see clearly.
"Why do I have to get anything?"
A branch cracks under his foot, and it sounds like a gun shot. Mari flinches, looks at him, and he knows she wasn't scared. Not for herself, anyway. She's never been scared for herself. Her terror is always for him, always for her little brother, always for her otouto. He had always revelled in it, wrapping himself in the comfort of her overprotective tendencies like it was a safety blanket, but now… a strangled sound falls from his throat, the first noise he's made since that day. She looks to him, startled but happy, and he hates her for it even as her attention eases something deep within.
"Choose," the stranger ordered, the gun in his hand stark black against the white of the ice, and Yuuri knew he'd never look at it the same way again.
"Viktor," he whispered, and when the stranger asked again, he screamed, "Viktor!"
"Yuuri?" Mari whispers, and he hears her stop walking, but he continues on anyway. "Yuuri, look at me," she orders, and Yuuri stops but doesn't turn around. "Yuuri, it wasn't your fault. That man is responsible, not anyone else." Her voice is strong and he knows she believes it. He wishes he could to.
"You can only save one. Who do you want me to kill?" echoed in his ears, and he looked from his sister to his fiancé, his fiancé to his sister, and though his heart aches he knows there's no choice. There is no choice here, because in the end, he loves them both but he's never had to live without Mari.
"Of course it was my fault," he whispers, voice hoarse in his throat. "I chose to kill him. Of course it was my fault."
I hope you all enjoyed, and please review!