'This is where it has to end'
The seven words that kept replaying in Ste's head since Brendan had left him. He wanted to see Brendan so much but Brendan ignored all his letters and denied all the visitation papers Ste had sent. He couldn't cope, he needed his baby but his baby wanted him to love life without him. He wanted him to move on but Ste couldn't. How could he forget about the person that changed everything?
If it had been back when Brendan would give him a beating he still wouldn't of been able to move on. Brendan Brady was a drug and Ste was addicted from the first kiss they shared. Since then all Ste wanted is more of Brendan's taste even if it meant receiving a beating but he couldn't control himself. He longed for the taste of Brendan's mouth.
X-X-X
Ste found himself filling out yet another visitation paper hoping Brendan would see how much Ste was missing him and was hoping Brendan would let Ste see him. It had been four months since Ste last saw Brendan but it was four months too many. Ste was used to spending most his time of the days with Brendan and going to sleep with Brendan next to him and Brendan being naked.
Yet again Brendan had denied Ste's visitation papers. Ste felt so rejected. He was fed up of this feeling. He wanted it to end. The same person that made him the happiest guy alive also made him feel the shittest as well. The fact Brendan was rejecting him so much made Ste realise Brendan was serious about it ending in hospital.
X-X-X
All Ste could think about is Brendan laying in the hospital bed telling him 'this is where it has to end' and that's when Ste thought of an idea to stop the depression and the crying to sleep and all the other stupid shit he did.
Ste got dressed and walked to Price Slice and brought £50 worth of vodka, he only got away with it because he told Cindy he was having a party in tomorrow and that she could come if she was free and his charm worked, what Cindy didn't know is there would be no party. Ste was planning on suicide. On his way back he looked at the club which is where it all started and he whispered 'I love you Bren' then he walked of into the dead of the night. When he got in it was 11 30pm. He went to the kitchen and grabbed the sharpest knife he could find and just stood there looking at it. Knowing what he was about to do will mean he never gets to see Leah and Lucas again but he has lost them anyway.
X-X-X
He went over to the sofa with the knife and the vodka bottles. He took a swig and then another and another. Suddenly memories of him and Brendan came flooding back making him miss Brendan even more. Memories like the first kiss they shared, the first beating Brendan gave Ste, the fear Ste had. All the sneaking around. His first kiss in public with Brendan, getting caught before the public kiss, the sex, the love he felt, the hurt and the loss of Brendan.
Then there was the heartbreaking goodbye that him and Brendan shared. Ste down the bottle of vodka and as the memories replayed in Ste's head he slashed at his wrist but this wasn't killing him. Then the words 'this is where it has to end' replayed in his head and at moment he picked up the knife and stabbed himself in the neck cutting his jugular. Killing him instantly
X-X-X
Brendan woke up two days later with a bad feeling and then an officer came to Brendan's cell with a letter. A letter from Steven.
Dear Brendan,
I know you don't want to see me or talk so I'll put you out your misery and leave you alone forever. This is the last thing your receive from me. By the time you've read this I'll be dead. Kinfes and vodka; what a messy way to die.
Ste x
It took Brendan about 10 seconds to realise his Ste was dead and it was his fault. Rage filled his body and he trashed his cell. He then sat in the corner looking around for something he could use to kill himself and that's when he saw his tie laying there. He picked it up and looked for some where he could hang himself from. He saw the window was slightly open and put the bin upside and climbed on top of it. He tied the tie on the bars that surrounded the window. Once it was around his neck and the bars he kicked the bin and that was it. The end of Brendan Brady.
He went into the light and at the end of it was his Ste.