Kiss Kiss
It's Christmas on Tracy Island, and no one is looking forward to it more than Tintin. Because-
Christmas is the time of year when I can kiss the boys.
I don't need an excuse for it, no need to make a noise.
I don't have to pretend I'm sick or any of that junk,
I can go right up to them and say "Pucker up, you hunk!"
I hang the mistletoe around in every single room.
I put on extra makeup and wear my elf costume.
I shimmy like that chick Monroe and growl like Eartha Kitt,
And one by one the boys succumb to all that girly sh*t.
Scott's the first to put his arms around me- quelle surprise!
He's tall and handsome, chisel jawed, he gives me such a squeeze.
"Santa's little helper," he whispers in my ear,
And as he goes in for the kill his hands slide to my rear.
Virgil's next, and not to be outdone he pulls me close.
The strong and silent type, he can sometimes be morose.
But not tonight, as crickets chirp outside his kiss is warm-
A work of art itself, the perfect shelter in a storm.
John appears- there's mischief in his eyes. A girl can tell
When a man is playing her own game, and playing just as well.
Spaceman smiles and sends a shiver running down my spine,
And silent as the stars above, his gentle lips meet mine.
Three boys and counting, I'm still dazed when Gordon makes his move.
"Forget the rest, 'cause I'm the best!" he chortles. Very smooth!
He grabs me by the face- don't mind the reindeer on his sweater,
'cause when it comes to Christmas kissing, no one does it better.
Finally it's Alan's turn. I act all sweet and coy,
He doesn't like to see me kissing any other boy.
I wrap my arms around his neck, we smooch to sounds of laughter.
I tell him he will always be my 'happy ever after'.
And when the kissing's done, I'm like the cat who got the cream.
The rest of Christmas floats on by as though I'm in a dream.
It isn't every day a girl gets pinned against the wall
By five delicious, handsome boys. Merry Christmas, one and all!