Lapis genuinely couldn't remember exactly how it came up in conversation.
She hadn't been paying a lot of attention, to be honest. She'd be sprawled out on a rafter, half-reading a comic book, half-listening to Peridot ramble about the Big Camp Dance episode from season 5 of CPH. Something about how terrible a dancer Paulette was, no form at all, and how Peridot was certain she would be much better, and "Why don't I show you right now! Lapis, be my partner!"
Lapis nearly fell off the beam. "Partner?" she managed, just barely regaining her balance. "Like… dance partner?"
"Yes. The human dance rituals often require two individuals to dance, and I would appreciate your assistance."
"My assistance. Dancing," Lapis said.
Peridot nodded.
Lapis tried not to panic. "Peridot… you know what happens when Gems… dance, don't you?"
"Of course I—" Peridot broke off, her face flushing the deepest shade of green. "I didn't mean fusion, I just meant— like in the episode— I." She stopped. Collected herself. Looked Lapis in the eyes. "But if you wished, I believe you would be a suitable fusion partner, also."
Lapis felt dizzy. There was a rushing sound in her ears, except it wasn't really in her ears, it was somewhere inside her, the sound of waves and crushing water and, "You've never fused before."
"N-no," Peridot said. "I tried once, but I… I failed. I couldn't do it. I was too…" She shook her head, not even attempting to finish the sentence. "But you! You know me better than almost anyone! I'm sure that together, we could—"
"No."
"But you're so- so graceful! And experienced!"
"No."
Peridot's mouth snapped shut, all enthusiasm instantly draining away. Lapis watched as Peridot's brow furrowed and understanding filled her face.
"Of course," Peridot said at length. "My apologies. I can understand why you would dislike fusion."
Lapis floated down to the ground— closer to Peridot, but still a safe distance away. "I don't dislike fusion. On principle."
She pulled her arms around her chest. She knew most of the Court had found the entire concept of hybrid fusion disgusting, but Lapis had never cared much either way. She wouldn't say that she was exactly friends with Garnet, but the fusion herself was pleasant enough to be around. She'd never actually seen Steven fuse, but he had described both Smoky Quartz and Stevonnie with complete, unabashed enthusiasm. Even Peridot had seemed excited by the creation of Smoky, and had spent an excited few days building a giant yoyo for them.
There was clearly something special about fusion. Something powerful and attractive.
Too powerful. Too attractive.
"If you want to fuse," said Lapis, "go ahead. But you don't want to fuse with me."
"Yes, I do."
You only think you do, Lapis wanted to say, but Peridot's expression was so bright, so earnest, she couldn't bring herself to actually say it.
"One day, maybe," and Lapis told herself that maybe it wasn't completely a lie. "But not now. You've never fused with anyone before. You deserve a better first partner."
Someone who won't pull you down and hold you there and make you hurt and make you like the hurting and never let you go.
Peridot was just standing there, opening and closing her mouth, spluttering and muttering. She didn't look mad, she looked— what, frustrated?
"Whatever you're going to say, just say it," Lapis snapped, looking away.
"I'll just mess it up," Peridot said. "I need— I need time to prepare my response— if I just had my tape recorder, or, or my screen—"
That was another sharp reminder of things past. Peridot had had a tape recorder, she'd apparently used it for everything, and she'd given it to Lapis because she'd wanted to be nice, she'd wanted to apologize, and Lapis had just broken it and called it garbage—
— and this was exactly why she was terrible to fuse with.
And Peridot didn't even try to say anything else. She just gave Lapis one last long, unreadable look, and left the barn. The door thudded behind her.
And Lapis told herself that was a good thing.
oOo
Time passed.
Lapis couldn't say how much time. She read. She watched TV. She painted. She stared at the ceiling.
Something bumped her head. She turned to look. It was Pumpkin.
"Hey veggie head," Lapis said softly, as the vegetable moved to walk across her chest. It spun in a circle, tail hitting her in the face, and it sat down on top of her.
The weight felt nice. Lapis petted it absently, and kept staring up. There was a loud knocking sound.
Still lying down, Lapis turned her head to stare at the door. The knocking continued. "Hello?"
The knocking stopped.
"Hello?" Lapis repeated. When nobody said anything, she sat up, Pumpkin giving a little irritated yap. "This had better not be another strange human…"
"It's not," a voice said. "Can I come in?"
Lapis stopped. She didn't recognise the voice, but it sounded familiar, nonetheless.
"Who are you?" she demanded.
"I, uh. It's me. Us." The barn door creaked open. "Peridot and Steven."
They poked their head in. After a moment, the rest of their body followed.
They had two gems, both orange. One triangular, on the forehead. Another on the belly, just barely visible beneath a too-small shirt.
They were… big, first of all. A head taller than Lapis, easily. It wasn't just height, but some bulk too— the fusion had taken on some of Steven's chubbiness and muscle. And they were bright. Their skin was orange, their hair too, a tangled triangle on their head that reminded Lapis a little of those 'traffic cones' she'd seen humans use to direct cars. They wore Peridot's jumpsuit, though it was completely yellow now. It matched perfectly with the star on Steven's shirt, now stretched tight over their torso.
"Who are you?" Lapis repeated, more softly this time.
"I'm… I'm Tangerine Quartz!" They smiled. "Isn't that just the best? It's a colour, and a fruit! And I'm so big! And I can shape shift!" They stretched out an arm out, long and spindly, before pulling it back in. "And I can do math really, really quickly, I'll show you, ask me what the square root of five thousand and ninety eight is!"
"What's the square root of five thousand and ninety eight?" asked Lapis.
"Seventy one point four zero zero two eight!" Tangerine rushed forward. "I did that right now. In my head! ISN'T THAT SO COOL?!"
"It's… very cool," Lapis said, backing away a little.
Tangerine seemed to deflate instantly. "I— sorry!" they cried. "Am I scaring you?! Am I being too pushy?! Should I leave?!"
"No, no," Lapis said quickly. "Don't go. You just… surprised me, is all."
Despite the reassurance, Tangerine stepped back, the picture of uncertainty— chewing their lip and wringing their hands.
"You look great," said Lapis. "Really great. You don't have any extra body parts or anything."
"Yeah, I do!"
"You do?" Lapis couldn't see any extra arms, or eyes, or legs.
Tangerine Quartz threw their two hands forward and waved them. "TA-DA~!"
Lapis blinked.
"EXTRA THUMBS, SEE?" They wiggled them in demonstration, and yes, each hand had an extra one, right next to the pinky finger. "It is so useful for typing and fine detail work! Ooh, ooh, and I've also got extra toes!" They stuck their foot out. It was hard to tell, since they wore both a jumpsuit and sandals, but their foot did seem wider than expected. "It's less useful, admittedly, but it could provide extra grip at an important moment!"
"Great," said Lapis.
She was… feeling something. Something she didn't want to analyse too closely.
Because she was not jealous. She refused to be. She had told Peridot to find a different fusion partner, and Peridot had. And Lapis was certain that there was nobody better than Steven for that. And Tangerine Quartz seemed to be very… friendly.
Foot still extended, Tangerine nearly lost their balance, only managing to regain it with a scream and pinwheeling arms. "Phew," they breathed.
Lapis couldn't help but smile.
Tangerine grinned back, wide and toothy.
There was a human introduction ritual called a handshake. It had been offered to her previously; both times, Lapis had not known about it, and even if she had, would not have been in the mood. But now… She held her hand out, open wide. "It really is good to meet you, Tangerine Quartz."
Tangerine took her hand in their odd, double-thumbed grip, and shook it enthusiastically. So enthusiastically they nearly lifted her off the floor. "You too!"
Thankfully, they pulled back before it could start to feel weird. Then they stood there, smiling. Lapis smiled back.
She wasn't sure what to do next. Being with Steven or Peridot— it wasn't hard, usually. But Lapis didn't know what to expect with Tangerine Quartz.
Thankfully, Pumpkin had no such nerves. This whole time it'd been hiding near the back of the barn, apparently spooked by the appearance of a loud 'stranger'. Seeing Lapis relax had apparently given it the confidence to rush back in, brimming with its usual energy, barking and jumping and yapping with joy. Tangerine laughed, and got on their knees to embrace it in a big hug. "Yep, it's me! It's me! Who's the best veggie head? YOU ARE!"
Lapis leaned against a wall to watch, smile resting quite comfortably on her face.
After a long round of belly rubs, Pumpkin ran off to go play with its favourite piece of discarded plastic. Tangerine stretched, then sat down cross-legged on the floor.
"So," they started. "How do we wish to proceed?"
"Like… what should we do next?"
"Yes, exactly. Are you comfortable dancing now?"
"Dancing?" said Lapis. "What?"
"Yes." Tangerine tilted their head, confused. "You said that Peridot should fuse with someone else first before fusing with you. She did that. So…?"
"That's— that's not what I said." Lapis pulled her hair. "Or— or, that's not what I meant. And, I mean, why would you even want to fuse? With me? You've got— you've got each other."
Tangerine's confusion was gone— or mostly gone— replaced with concern. And something else, too. "Yes. But that doesn't mean we can't have you as well."
Lapis said nothing. She wasn't sure what she could say. Part of her felt like flying away.
Tangerine felt it necessary to fill the silence with words of their own. "Fusion doesn't have to be limited to any one person. Steven fuses with Connie all the time, and he likes being Smoky Quartz too. And Peridot— today she considered asking Amethyst to be her fusion partner, as well as Garnet."
Lapis raised an eyebrow. Amethyst didn't surprise her, but— "Garnet?"
Tangerine puffed out their chest. "Garnet previously offered to fuse with her!"
That was… surprising, but Lapis didn't dwell. She had something more important to clarify. "So you still want to fuse with me?"
"Not me! Or, I mean— not me, Tangerine Quartz. Not right now! I'm still— still figuring out who I am." They shuffled anxiously. "But Peridot would like to fuse with you! And Steven too! But, not, not if you don't want to." They took a deep breath, hands briefly forming a weird circle symbol around their belly gem. The fluster was replaced by a peaceful sort of confidence. "I'm still figuring out many things, but I know that I love you, Lapis Lazuli. So do Steven and Peridot. We want you to know that. And we want you to be happy."
"Happy," Lapis echoed.
She… was happy, she thought. Not always. Definitely not always. But overall, happier than she'd been in a long, long time.
She supposed she must not have been showing it just then, because Tangerine was frowning at her.
"Lapis..." they said.
She felt the burn of tears in her eyes, and turned away from them. "Sorry," she managed. "Sorry, it's just... you're being so nice to me, and I don't– I don't think I deserve—"
A weight settled on her shoulders, large but gentle. Tangerine's voice was soft and raspy as they spoke. "Pretty sure we're the ones who get to decide that."
Lapis sniffed. She said nothing. But she did allow herself to lean into their touch.
"I'm sorry," they said. "I assumed— I shouldn't have just thought— I didn't want to pressure you."
"It's alright." Lapis turned to look at them. Their eyes were so big and wide behind their visor. "You're… you're a good friend. Friends."
"I am!" Their cheeks puffed out with pride. "And so are you, Lapis Lazuli!"
Lapis considered this for a moment, and said, "Okay."
She could have stayed like that for a while, but it was only a matter of moments before Tangerine began shuffling their feet. "So… no dancing! Do you want to do something else?"
"Like what?"
"I… don't know! We could watch Camp Pining Hearts! Or we could watch a new show! Something even Steven hasn't seen! Or– or we could go for a walk! Explore! Or—" and now their eyes went really wide, "we could go to Funland!"
The name took Lapis a moment to place. "Was that where you won the alien plushie?"
"YES!"
Lapis glanced sidelong to the water tank, where the odd toy drifted along, looking so weird with its dark eyes and exposed neck. Lapis had grown pretty fond of it. "Sure," she said. "Let's try that."