I've decided to do one about a Gundam road trip. Boy, oh boy, so many
people have done this already, and let me tell you, a lot of them suck.
There is an exception to a few, but because I have such a terrible memory I
can't remember the pen names. Yeah… anyway, on with the show!
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, the evil non-sharing companies do. I also don't own anything that Duo may destroy, thank god. And if he comes near my stuff again, he'll be missing a few fingers.
Starcrest: (*to a wall*) So anyway, I like cheese. What do you like? Paint? Me…? Well, I can't have paint; it's poisonous to my system. Hey… Just what kind of wall are you? Asking me to ingest paint…
Duo: Why does she do that? There are five human guys here to talk to, and two of them are more than happy to keep her company. Is she that desperate?
Heero: I don't know, but it's freaking me out.
Starcrest: (*to the wall*) Oh. I see. You're not bad I guess…
Trowa: Should I get the hammer again?
Duo: Yeah sure. The first few hours, it's fun to watch. But afterward, it isn't funny anymore.
Quatre: You guys, have you ever stopped to think that the reason she does this is because you use the hammer?
Heero: …No. And we don't care. If it shuts her up, we'll do it.
Quatre: (*sigh*) They won't listen… what will I do?
Starcrest: (*to the wall*) No, what? (*starts laughing*) That's a funny joke! I've never heard that one before….What? What are you talking about? They're what? (*dodges a crushing blow dealt by Trowa*)
Trowa: Wow… you're pretty fast. But you're not getting away from me this time.
Starcrest: (*to Trowa*) The wall, the wall was right! You are trying to kill me!
Heero: (*frustrated*) That's it. (*Empties gun into the wall, killing it*)
Starcrest: No! My friend! (*sob*) You're so mean…
Trowa: So does this mean I have to put the hammer away?
Quatre: Yes, Trowa, we don't need it now.
Trowa: Awwwww…
1 Gundam Road Trip
For Heero, Two weeks vacation was more than enough. In fact, three minutes was fine for him. Sally had insisted that they take a break, and that if anything were to come up, they would call on them immediately. Wufei had taken his side and had participated in a heated argument with her. Apparently, he didn't want this either. Trowa would have skipped the trip too, but the circus told him to take a break as well and he had nowhere else to go. Besides, Quatre was taking two weeks off to go with them as well, and that may have been part of the reason Trowa was agreeing to go. Duo was as enthusiastic about it as Quatre was. Hilde had let him go, saying that she would have no trouble at all with the scrap yard.
Finally, after an hour, Sally called security and had Heero and Wufei removed. And Wufei, although defeated, wasn't one to back down from a fight. So he kicked and screamed and bit for the guards to release him. He and Heero were literately tossed out into the streets. And as they stood up and brushed themselves off, Wufei still growling a bit, Sally poked her head out the headquarters main door, looking smug and victorious.
"Oh, boys? One more thing. I left all the money with Duo. Quatre says he'll pay for anything extra. Have fun!" She disappeared.
"Damn Onna!" Wufei screeched. He attempted to run at the door, but Heero grabbed him and held him back.
"Just forget it Wufei. Let's just do this. They probably won't do it again for a while. And besides---" Heero looked around him to make sure no one was listening or looking. He whispered in Wufei's ear, "---don't get mad, get even."
With that, they started laughing maniacally, which was really odd to see and made people look. The stopped and looked at each other, blushing a little.
"Great," Wufei said to Heero, walking bit ahead of him and then stopping. "we have to figure out where Duo is. And no doubt that baka has already spent all our money on something useless and stupid---"
"Yo, Wu-man! Get in the car!" The hairs on the back of Wufei's neck stood on end at the sound of that voice. Duo! There was no other baka who called him by that name! Wufei spun around to see Heero climbing into the back of a jeep and Duo smiling down mischievously at him.
"Maxwell! How many times must I tell you not to call me by that name?!"
"A lot. Now shut up and get in. Or do I need to come get you?"
"I will not go! And you can try all you want but I'm not leaving this spot." Wufei sat down defiantly and glared at Duo. He was not going to let some braided baka tell him what to do.
"Alright," Duo said, hopping out and cracking his knuckles. "You leave me no choice."
"What are you planning to do, Maxwell? Choke me with your braid?" Wufei mocked at him.
Duo chuckled and approached Wufei. He leaned down, and whispered something in Wufei's ear. Wufei seemed to ponder something for a moment and then got up and headed for the car. "You may have won the battle, but the war is not over!"
After Duo got back into the car, they drove off to Duo's temporary apartment. Before anybody could get to the door, Duo bounded up quickly and ran in, locking the door behind him. Heero pounded on the door.
"We don't have all day, Duo. What are you doing in there?"
"Straightening things out a bit. Wouldn't want y'all to trip and break your necks…well, except for Wufei. He's fine." Came the response on the other side of the door.
Wufei growled and shook his head. As long as he was going to be on "vacation" he wasn't going to let Duo get on his nerves.
Finally, Duo opened the door and let everyone inside. The apartment was a complete mess. It looked as ten people lived there.
"This is straightening things out?" Trowa asked, a bit disgusted.
"Well, it's better then it was, Mr. high and mighty." Duo retorted, kicking Trowa in the leg. Trowa didn't seem to feel it.
"Well, you've certainly…made yourself at home…" Quatre said quietly.
"Okay, okay, enough with the observations. About the trip… I have a confession to make." Duo said, motioning for everybody to sit down on either the sofa or the love seat, while he sat down. "I…It was my idea to make the vacation plans…"
Wufei became enraged and pounced on Duo. It took Trowa and Heero to pry Wufei off Duo's body and Quatre to wake him up. Wufei was putting up almost as big as a fight with Duo as he had with the security guards. When Duo came to, Quatre was holding him up, and Heero and Trowa were restraining an angry Wufei.
"Oi, you play too rough…" Duo stood up and winked at Wufei, just to irritate him. "That's good, because I like it rough!" Wufei's jaw dropped and his face turned red, he regained his senses and turned his nose up at Duo.
"I don't need this." Heero and Trowa let him go and Wufei sat down on the couch.
"Anyway, I wanted to see everybody again. And I thought it would be fun to take a road trip or go camping or something. Sally was more than happy to let us go. And besides, she said Wufei's bad attitude was affecting the computer system." He grinned at Wufei, who shot up from his seat, but Heero had a grip on his shirt collar and pulled him down. Wufei glared angrily a Heero, and Heero glared right back.
"That was sweet to do," Quatre said, arm linked with Trowa's. "I missed you all too. I thought it was a great idea."
"Whatever. What's done is done, and Sally won't let us back in anyway. I'm sure she's doubled security just in case…" Heero looked over to Wufei and whispered something into his ear. Wufei nodded to him and looked up a Duo, calmed down considerably.
"So… where are we going?"
"Camping. On Earth. And to make it even more fun we're going on a road trip to the campgrounds." Duo walked over and sat on Wufei's lap. "That's means we'll be stuck in the same car together the whole way!"
"Get off of me, Maxwell!" Wufei shoved Duo off and crossed his arms.
"Heh heh. You're so fun to tease, Wu-man!" Duo laughed.
Quatre then produced a map of America. "Here," He pointed to a spot, "we'll arrive at the airport and get our car. Then well drive to here…" he trailed his finger up to another spot, "…and rest here at this town in a hotel or something…" he trailed his finger up to another spot, "…and continue driving to the campgrounds. If we hurry, we should be able to make it in about two and a half days. Then we stay at the campgrounds for a two weeks, and then start on our way back. We have approximately four days travel time."
"Alright! Let's go now," Duo said. He stood up and went off to somewhere in the back room and returned with an overstuffed suitcase. "I'm ready,"
"What do you have in there? Your room?" Trowa asked. Duo blushed.
"N, no… not my room… it's nothing," Duo hurried off to the car, but was stopped by a smug looking Wufei in the doorway.
"What is it? It's just us boys, so you can show us. Or is it something embarrassing…like a teddy bear? Or pink underwear?" Wufei grinned an evil grin.
"Ah! Get out of my way, it's none of your business!" Duo yelled, and started running to his room. But Wufei was too quick and grabbed the suitcase from him. Duo gave chase, but Wufei locked himself in the bathroom before Duo could even get close. "Wufei! Give it back! Don't look in it! Please! I won't bug you the whole time."
"Too late!" Came the reply through the door. And then there was a click. And then a scream.
"What is this?!"
"I told you not to look!" Duo's face turned a deep red and he pounded on the door. The door flew open to reveal a bloody nosed Wufei. Wufei handed Duo back the suitcase and proceeded to the car. The other boys stared, confused.
"Hey, Duo, what was---" Quatre started, but had a second thought and his voice trailed off.
"Um…It's nothing, really. Just some stuff I don't want anyone to see…" Duo laughed nervously, stopped, and then bolted for the door.
"Well, we'd better not waste any more time and get going." Heero said, standing up. They all headed for the car.
After picking up Heero and Wufei's stuff, they headed for the transport ship thingy that would take them to Earth. After surviving four hours of Duo and peanuts in a bag, they arrived in America. An old man with a sign that said "Gundam pilots" on it greeted them. How very inconspicuous.
The little old man led them through the airport and to a rusty old car. He tossed the keys at Heero, bowed, and left. Heero looked at the keys and then at the car. It was old and beat up, and it looked as if it would fall apart at any moment. He looked over to Quatre, who looked disgusted.
"Well, a car is a car," said Duo, taking the keys from Heero and opening the trunk.
"Yeah, I guess so," Quatre said quietly, walking over to it and putting his stuff in.
"I get to drive!" Duo grinned, looking at everybody.
"I'm driving Duo," Heero told him.
"Awwww, c'mon, Heero! I can drive!" Duo protested.
"No way, Maxwell. You'll end up making us crash or something!" Wufei told him in a mean way.
"Tch, you guys are so mean! I never get to do anything fun!"
"Anyway, who's going to read the map?"
"I am," Trowa said, producing the map.
"Why do you get to do it?" Duo asked.
"Because I travel a lot. You think I don't know how to read a map?" Trowa retorted.
"Good point. So that means Heero and Trowa are in front, and me, Wufei, and Quatre are in the back."
"I have to sit next to a window. I might get car sick," Quatre said, climbing into the back seat behind passenger side.
"I want to sit next to the window too!" Duo said, looking over to Wufei.
"So I have to sit in the middle? That means I have to sit next to you!"
"Deal with it Wu-man! I'm not that scary, am I? Oh, I get it. You're scared of me! Little chicken head Wu-wu afraid of lil' ol' me? That's sad!"
By now, Wufei's blood was boiling. He couldn't help himself as he leapt at Duo and attempted to pound him into the ground. But Heero would have none of this fighting and separated the two. Wufei reluctantly sat in the middle as Duo climbed in behind the driver's seat. Heero climbed behind the wheel as Trowa took the seat next to him.
"Alright. Is everybody ready?" Heero asked, starting the car. The car may have looked bad, but the engine seemed to work fine.
"Yes!" Duo and Quatre said in unison.
And the road trip began…
TBC…
Like it so far? Not funny enough yet? Of course it's not that funny--- it's the beginning! This is just an appetizer for you all. I'm saving all the juicy stuff for later. So just hold tight peoples, because it will get better. I promise. Hee hee. I can't wait…
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, the evil non-sharing companies do. I also don't own anything that Duo may destroy, thank god. And if he comes near my stuff again, he'll be missing a few fingers.
Starcrest: (*to a wall*) So anyway, I like cheese. What do you like? Paint? Me…? Well, I can't have paint; it's poisonous to my system. Hey… Just what kind of wall are you? Asking me to ingest paint…
Duo: Why does she do that? There are five human guys here to talk to, and two of them are more than happy to keep her company. Is she that desperate?
Heero: I don't know, but it's freaking me out.
Starcrest: (*to the wall*) Oh. I see. You're not bad I guess…
Trowa: Should I get the hammer again?
Duo: Yeah sure. The first few hours, it's fun to watch. But afterward, it isn't funny anymore.
Quatre: You guys, have you ever stopped to think that the reason she does this is because you use the hammer?
Heero: …No. And we don't care. If it shuts her up, we'll do it.
Quatre: (*sigh*) They won't listen… what will I do?
Starcrest: (*to the wall*) No, what? (*starts laughing*) That's a funny joke! I've never heard that one before….What? What are you talking about? They're what? (*dodges a crushing blow dealt by Trowa*)
Trowa: Wow… you're pretty fast. But you're not getting away from me this time.
Starcrest: (*to Trowa*) The wall, the wall was right! You are trying to kill me!
Heero: (*frustrated*) That's it. (*Empties gun into the wall, killing it*)
Starcrest: No! My friend! (*sob*) You're so mean…
Trowa: So does this mean I have to put the hammer away?
Quatre: Yes, Trowa, we don't need it now.
Trowa: Awwwww…
1 Gundam Road Trip
For Heero, Two weeks vacation was more than enough. In fact, three minutes was fine for him. Sally had insisted that they take a break, and that if anything were to come up, they would call on them immediately. Wufei had taken his side and had participated in a heated argument with her. Apparently, he didn't want this either. Trowa would have skipped the trip too, but the circus told him to take a break as well and he had nowhere else to go. Besides, Quatre was taking two weeks off to go with them as well, and that may have been part of the reason Trowa was agreeing to go. Duo was as enthusiastic about it as Quatre was. Hilde had let him go, saying that she would have no trouble at all with the scrap yard.
Finally, after an hour, Sally called security and had Heero and Wufei removed. And Wufei, although defeated, wasn't one to back down from a fight. So he kicked and screamed and bit for the guards to release him. He and Heero were literately tossed out into the streets. And as they stood up and brushed themselves off, Wufei still growling a bit, Sally poked her head out the headquarters main door, looking smug and victorious.
"Oh, boys? One more thing. I left all the money with Duo. Quatre says he'll pay for anything extra. Have fun!" She disappeared.
"Damn Onna!" Wufei screeched. He attempted to run at the door, but Heero grabbed him and held him back.
"Just forget it Wufei. Let's just do this. They probably won't do it again for a while. And besides---" Heero looked around him to make sure no one was listening or looking. He whispered in Wufei's ear, "---don't get mad, get even."
With that, they started laughing maniacally, which was really odd to see and made people look. The stopped and looked at each other, blushing a little.
"Great," Wufei said to Heero, walking bit ahead of him and then stopping. "we have to figure out where Duo is. And no doubt that baka has already spent all our money on something useless and stupid---"
"Yo, Wu-man! Get in the car!" The hairs on the back of Wufei's neck stood on end at the sound of that voice. Duo! There was no other baka who called him by that name! Wufei spun around to see Heero climbing into the back of a jeep and Duo smiling down mischievously at him.
"Maxwell! How many times must I tell you not to call me by that name?!"
"A lot. Now shut up and get in. Or do I need to come get you?"
"I will not go! And you can try all you want but I'm not leaving this spot." Wufei sat down defiantly and glared at Duo. He was not going to let some braided baka tell him what to do.
"Alright," Duo said, hopping out and cracking his knuckles. "You leave me no choice."
"What are you planning to do, Maxwell? Choke me with your braid?" Wufei mocked at him.
Duo chuckled and approached Wufei. He leaned down, and whispered something in Wufei's ear. Wufei seemed to ponder something for a moment and then got up and headed for the car. "You may have won the battle, but the war is not over!"
After Duo got back into the car, they drove off to Duo's temporary apartment. Before anybody could get to the door, Duo bounded up quickly and ran in, locking the door behind him. Heero pounded on the door.
"We don't have all day, Duo. What are you doing in there?"
"Straightening things out a bit. Wouldn't want y'all to trip and break your necks…well, except for Wufei. He's fine." Came the response on the other side of the door.
Wufei growled and shook his head. As long as he was going to be on "vacation" he wasn't going to let Duo get on his nerves.
Finally, Duo opened the door and let everyone inside. The apartment was a complete mess. It looked as ten people lived there.
"This is straightening things out?" Trowa asked, a bit disgusted.
"Well, it's better then it was, Mr. high and mighty." Duo retorted, kicking Trowa in the leg. Trowa didn't seem to feel it.
"Well, you've certainly…made yourself at home…" Quatre said quietly.
"Okay, okay, enough with the observations. About the trip… I have a confession to make." Duo said, motioning for everybody to sit down on either the sofa or the love seat, while he sat down. "I…It was my idea to make the vacation plans…"
Wufei became enraged and pounced on Duo. It took Trowa and Heero to pry Wufei off Duo's body and Quatre to wake him up. Wufei was putting up almost as big as a fight with Duo as he had with the security guards. When Duo came to, Quatre was holding him up, and Heero and Trowa were restraining an angry Wufei.
"Oi, you play too rough…" Duo stood up and winked at Wufei, just to irritate him. "That's good, because I like it rough!" Wufei's jaw dropped and his face turned red, he regained his senses and turned his nose up at Duo.
"I don't need this." Heero and Trowa let him go and Wufei sat down on the couch.
"Anyway, I wanted to see everybody again. And I thought it would be fun to take a road trip or go camping or something. Sally was more than happy to let us go. And besides, she said Wufei's bad attitude was affecting the computer system." He grinned at Wufei, who shot up from his seat, but Heero had a grip on his shirt collar and pulled him down. Wufei glared angrily a Heero, and Heero glared right back.
"That was sweet to do," Quatre said, arm linked with Trowa's. "I missed you all too. I thought it was a great idea."
"Whatever. What's done is done, and Sally won't let us back in anyway. I'm sure she's doubled security just in case…" Heero looked over to Wufei and whispered something into his ear. Wufei nodded to him and looked up a Duo, calmed down considerably.
"So… where are we going?"
"Camping. On Earth. And to make it even more fun we're going on a road trip to the campgrounds." Duo walked over and sat on Wufei's lap. "That's means we'll be stuck in the same car together the whole way!"
"Get off of me, Maxwell!" Wufei shoved Duo off and crossed his arms.
"Heh heh. You're so fun to tease, Wu-man!" Duo laughed.
Quatre then produced a map of America. "Here," He pointed to a spot, "we'll arrive at the airport and get our car. Then well drive to here…" he trailed his finger up to another spot, "…and rest here at this town in a hotel or something…" he trailed his finger up to another spot, "…and continue driving to the campgrounds. If we hurry, we should be able to make it in about two and a half days. Then we stay at the campgrounds for a two weeks, and then start on our way back. We have approximately four days travel time."
"Alright! Let's go now," Duo said. He stood up and went off to somewhere in the back room and returned with an overstuffed suitcase. "I'm ready,"
"What do you have in there? Your room?" Trowa asked. Duo blushed.
"N, no… not my room… it's nothing," Duo hurried off to the car, but was stopped by a smug looking Wufei in the doorway.
"What is it? It's just us boys, so you can show us. Or is it something embarrassing…like a teddy bear? Or pink underwear?" Wufei grinned an evil grin.
"Ah! Get out of my way, it's none of your business!" Duo yelled, and started running to his room. But Wufei was too quick and grabbed the suitcase from him. Duo gave chase, but Wufei locked himself in the bathroom before Duo could even get close. "Wufei! Give it back! Don't look in it! Please! I won't bug you the whole time."
"Too late!" Came the reply through the door. And then there was a click. And then a scream.
"What is this?!"
"I told you not to look!" Duo's face turned a deep red and he pounded on the door. The door flew open to reveal a bloody nosed Wufei. Wufei handed Duo back the suitcase and proceeded to the car. The other boys stared, confused.
"Hey, Duo, what was---" Quatre started, but had a second thought and his voice trailed off.
"Um…It's nothing, really. Just some stuff I don't want anyone to see…" Duo laughed nervously, stopped, and then bolted for the door.
"Well, we'd better not waste any more time and get going." Heero said, standing up. They all headed for the car.
After picking up Heero and Wufei's stuff, they headed for the transport ship thingy that would take them to Earth. After surviving four hours of Duo and peanuts in a bag, they arrived in America. An old man with a sign that said "Gundam pilots" on it greeted them. How very inconspicuous.
The little old man led them through the airport and to a rusty old car. He tossed the keys at Heero, bowed, and left. Heero looked at the keys and then at the car. It was old and beat up, and it looked as if it would fall apart at any moment. He looked over to Quatre, who looked disgusted.
"Well, a car is a car," said Duo, taking the keys from Heero and opening the trunk.
"Yeah, I guess so," Quatre said quietly, walking over to it and putting his stuff in.
"I get to drive!" Duo grinned, looking at everybody.
"I'm driving Duo," Heero told him.
"Awwww, c'mon, Heero! I can drive!" Duo protested.
"No way, Maxwell. You'll end up making us crash or something!" Wufei told him in a mean way.
"Tch, you guys are so mean! I never get to do anything fun!"
"Anyway, who's going to read the map?"
"I am," Trowa said, producing the map.
"Why do you get to do it?" Duo asked.
"Because I travel a lot. You think I don't know how to read a map?" Trowa retorted.
"Good point. So that means Heero and Trowa are in front, and me, Wufei, and Quatre are in the back."
"I have to sit next to a window. I might get car sick," Quatre said, climbing into the back seat behind passenger side.
"I want to sit next to the window too!" Duo said, looking over to Wufei.
"So I have to sit in the middle? That means I have to sit next to you!"
"Deal with it Wu-man! I'm not that scary, am I? Oh, I get it. You're scared of me! Little chicken head Wu-wu afraid of lil' ol' me? That's sad!"
By now, Wufei's blood was boiling. He couldn't help himself as he leapt at Duo and attempted to pound him into the ground. But Heero would have none of this fighting and separated the two. Wufei reluctantly sat in the middle as Duo climbed in behind the driver's seat. Heero climbed behind the wheel as Trowa took the seat next to him.
"Alright. Is everybody ready?" Heero asked, starting the car. The car may have looked bad, but the engine seemed to work fine.
"Yes!" Duo and Quatre said in unison.
And the road trip began…
TBC…
Like it so far? Not funny enough yet? Of course it's not that funny--- it's the beginning! This is just an appetizer for you all. I'm saving all the juicy stuff for later. So just hold tight peoples, because it will get better. I promise. Hee hee. I can't wait…