True Love and Bittersweet Memories

By: An Independent Mind and Spirit

"It looks like we won't be having that chocolate parfait together. Sorry I lied, though I didn't mean to this time." He chuckles sadly – forced – reaching a hand up and wiping my tears away.

I never noticed I was crying.

I hug him tightly; I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want him to leave me!

"No, don't go, Nephrite!" is all I can get out, but those words sound strangled, even to my ears.

Why is fate so cruel? We finally were together, finally admitting what we truly felt for each other, then those bitches come and try to steal him away from me!

A part of me absently notes that the Sailor Senshi are crying or holding back tears of their own. Why would they care? That part of me asks sarcastically. They've tried to kill him, just as Nephrite's tried to kill them.

"Goodbye, Naru…" is what the one I love says, as his body dissolves into sparkling dust and floats away.

I can only stare – and cry, wail, howl in grief – as he disappears and the orange bandage, soaked in his blood, I made for him falls to the ground.

~*~*~*~*~

It's been three years since Nephrite died.

Three lonely years.

Three years, that would have been lonelier if it weren't for Usagi and Umino. Those two…

I dated Umino for a while and I really liked him too. But I realized that I didn't love him. We had separate interests and different viewpoints, and so many about him bugged me. I didn't realize it until last year, the same time I realized a lot of other things.

Anyway, last year a new girl transferred into our class. Quiet, nerdy… Umino fell for her hard. He didn't realize it at first, but I "helped" him out. They're happy now, together.

A lot of people were realizing things last year.

Usagi will always be my best friend, but it's strange that we're growing apart. She started hanging out with Mizuno Ami and Hino Rei more before Nephrite came into my life, then with more other girls, like Kino Makoto and Aino Minako and her cousin Tsukino Chibi-Usa, as well as her boyfriend Chiba Mamoru. Then about a year and a half ago there were four more girls she would be with; I don't know their names. She would always hang with me whenever she could, but her new group of friends were always doing something or running somewhere.

It took me a while to figure out why. I never would have figured it out, except for the fact that I know Usagi better than she thinks.

When I first told her of my crush on Stanton Maxfield, she told me that he was an evil man and I should forget about him. At the time I was too busy arguing that he wasn't to wonder how she knew that. Then Sailor Moon told me the same thing.

I didn't put the pieces together right away. I thought it merely coincidence.

Then a year ago, I remembered something. Umino was talking about the latest non-human attacks in Juuban, making me think back to when Nephrite was alive. A lot of coincidences piled into my head, and I realized something.

Every time she met a new girl, a new Senshi joined the group. She was never around during a youma attack if Sailor Moon was in the battle, and if the other Senshi were there too, her friends weren't around either. She always slept in class, especially after the Senshi had a battle the night before. She and Mamoru started dating around the time Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen showed interest in each other during fights. Then when Tuxedo Kamen disappeared and the Moonlight Knight showed up, Usagi was depressed because Mamoru had amnesia. She even had the same cat Sailor Moon had!

It all made sense.

Usagi, my best friend, the ditzy cheerful ever-loyal girl, was Sailor Moon.

Now that I know that, I wonder if she could bring Nephrite back. I've seen it myself, when Sailor Moon – Usagi – used her magic to save a bunch of people who were dying or had just died. Did she have that power then and could she have saved him, or did she want him to die?

I think back to that moment…

…those deep blue eyes of his, so sad at the thought of dying, pain-filled too…

…his last words: "Sorry I lied, though I didn't mean to this time."…

…his body, disappearing into glittering dust…

…and the Sailor Senshi, mortal enemies of my love, crying at his death.

No, I don't think they wanted him to die that way. Or maybe they had wanted him to die, but changed their minds. I could ask them, but I don't really think I want to know the answer.

I really miss him. I guess it didn't seem that way when I started dating Umino about a year after his death, but I thought it would help take the sting of his memory away. It didn't though, just increased the pain I felt.

I think I was the only one who saw the goodness and kindness and gentleness in him, that even he didn't know about. Just being around him made me feel so happy, so wonderful, as if I could fly to the moon. I was nervous too, I admit, but, in those final few minutes before those bitches attacked us, I knew there was no reason to be. I loved him, and even if he couldn't see it or admit it, he loved me. I could see it in his eyes.

I hold the bouquet in my hand tightly, hugging it against my chest the way I tried to hold Nephrite from disintegrating into sparks. In my pocket is the orange cloth I used as a bandage, still the same as if Nephrite died yesterday.

Red and white roses; love and purity. Fragile, like those first few shaky minutes that can be broken by one wrong word… But beautiful, just like true love and bittersweet memories.

His blood, even though it's green, is life, that will never end.

It hurts, sometimes, thinking of him, wondering what would have happened if he hadn't been killed. We would have gone for chocolate parfaits at the least, because he didn't want to lie to me any more, and probably many other places too. We could have possibly been in love forever, or decided that it wasn't working out. We might have gotten married some day in the far distant future, or become just best friends. We would have been together though….

It's been three years, today, and I've decided something.

I still love Nephrite with all my heart, despite the difference time has made.

Either I will join him, or I will get him to join me.

I just hope Usagi will help me, and can.

(((@)))_____/\________

This is going to be a little tie-in with a future story I'm writing, but I couldn't tell you when that's coming out. Another disjointed story. I need to stop those.

In case you couldn't tell, the first part is from Episode 20: A Friend In Wolf's Clothing. Nephrite dies, poor guy. I feel so sorry for Naru. Then she goes out Umino in Sailor Moon S? That's messed up I tell you. The second part takes place after Stars.