Chapter 1
As the train sped away from district thirteen towards twelve I began to really worry. Sitting back in my seat I thought back to the conversation I had with Dr Aurelius last night.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" He had asked sitting across from me.
"Yeah, i'm sure. Where else would i go? I don't fit in here, or the Capitol. There's no place for me" I answered honestly. Since the rebels won and the resistance ended I had wondered around, waiting for somewhere to feel right. The days were too rigid in thirteen, the capitol was out of the question despite Plutarch asking me over and over again to join his "United Districts" I just couldn't face that place again. Especially when I had only just started to feel human again, sane again.
"I think you don't really want to fit in Peeta" Dr Aurelius stated, looking down his glasses at me. I liked this man, he had an uncanny ability to see things, things that always seemed so much simpler when he said them.
"Maybe not" I laughed and he smiled at me, knowing perfectly well why I had decided to return to twelve.
"It won't be the same Peeta, your family, your home is gone and she's not the same either" he spoke softly darting a concerned glance over at me.
There was no kidding anyone why I was going back, I was going back because I couldn't fit in anywhere without her. It had be agony having her here in thirteen, watching her killing Coin with that feral look in her eyes, like she was no longer human. It was that look that told me I needed to get my hand over that pouch with her pill in it. Feeling her bite, breaking the skin. It was the worst thing I had seen, to see someone who had survived so much want to give up everything and the look in her eyes when i stopped her….. utter betrayal, helplessness, misery. It had been agony seeing her like that but it was worse not seeing her at all. I had to get back to her because she needed me there, to help her get back to herself, to get back to some semblance of humanity. I hadn't clawed myself back to her for her to just give up.
"I have to go home" I told him.
And with that the next morning I got on on the dreaded old victory tour train along with fifty other District 12 residents wanting to return home, The train ran two ways now from the capitol to thirteen dropping visitors off, returning rebels to their family, sharing resources and finally opening up the channels between districts. I sat by the window in my old room watching our approach to twelve. Luckily the train station and tracks were quite a way from the main town and survived despite the bombings. As we approached the station I saw in the distance the mangled sooty remains of my home. I took a deep breath as i felt a panicky prickly feeling coming over me. Using the trick the doctors taught me in thirteen of starting with the simplest thing I know to be true and going backwards.
My name is Peeta Mellark. I am nineteen years old. The rebellion is over, there is no Capital. I am coming home to twelve. I will see her soon.
An ache up through my chest started when I thought of her, I hadn't seen her in months and now there was a chance I would see her in a few hours. I leant back in my seat and let the exhaustion from the previous sleepless night take me over. Not long now.