Hey! This is my first Black fic! Most likely my last too. He reflects upon his past life and decides that despite the fact that he didn't kill Lily and James, he is anything but innocent. No, it's nothing bad. Don't worry. I guess it's like a short monologue type thing. Yes, I will get around to writing Dark Joy. And yes, I did write that guy in t.b. fic. The amount of Black lovers startled me, and I just kind of wrote this.
Dedication: Dedicated to Cassandra Claire for writing a great fic series, Magical*Little*Me, Tippy, D.M.P., Dani, Makich, D.M.P., Hermione/Mew [despite the fact that she once flamed me], and all my other loyal [heh heh] fans and authors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ yes, just because I specially said Cassandra Claire's name does not mean that I like her batter then all you other guys. So don't worry.
Anything But Innocent
By PikaCheeka
I entered the attic very carefully, not wanting to kick up all the dust at once. It was my house, my attic, my dust, which meant I had to clean it up someday. Someday when my name was cleared.
I had just crawled into my old house as a dog, luckily, nobody noticed. I wanted to check a few things. My parents, to my horror, had passed away years ago and as I was in Azkaban, I was never told. The house had been left to me if I ever was freed, which had been doubtful. I was actually surprised they left it to me, seeing as everyone thought I was a Death Eater.
I suddenly tripped over a long oblong box and went flying into a musty old chair. I swore loudly and started sneezing before I remembered I wasn't supposed to be here. I held my breath for a few seconds. Then I realized there was nobody coming. I slumped onto the floor and dragged the box over to me.
It was just what I thought it was. My old school journals.
September 1.....
This is my first year at Hogwarts! My first day as a matter of fact! I can't wait to start classes tomorrow. There was a long train ride to the school, which is a great castle. There was a sorting hat, and it put me in Gryffindor, the house for brave people. I already made a new friend, his name is James Potter. He's really cool. I also met an enemy already. He's a Slytherin, the evil house. His name is Severus Snape. Or Severus Snot, as James and I call him. I would explain more, but I'm tired.
I couldn't but smile at my oddity. I mean, I wrote a paragraph on the first day of school! Unable to help myself, I flipped open to another page. Halloween.
October 31......
Today is Halloween. The great hall was all decorated and it was awesome. There was a bad part though. Snot got James, Lupin, Peter, and I in trouble. He told Dumbledore that we all beat him up in the hall when all I did was shove him down the stairs. James said he could have caught himself if he really tried. It's not our fault he has no sense of balance. Now I have detention next week putting books away in the library all night. Won't that be fun.
I sighed and tossed the book onto the floor. I didn't want it read anymore. My writing was so poor back then it wasn't any fun to read. Then a thought struck me. Were there more? I looked not the box again and pulled out my fourth year journal. It should be better.
September 2....
I didn't write yesterday. I didn't feel like it. School is the same. James is a prefect this year. And the head boy for next year is uh...I'll explain later.
How odd. I ended it there? I tried my best to remember who it was, but just couldn't. I picked up the book and opened it up again.
September 27.......
Today Lupin left again. I'm getting mad. And I feel like writing a lot, so I'll explain:
"Hey Lupin! Where ya going?" James asked as Remus and Dumbledore headed for the lobby.
"O, my mother is sick again..." he smiled weakly.
Ten minutes later, James and I were back in the common room.
"My mother is sick..." I mimicked. "Don't give me that shit! I mean, how often can his parents be sick? And why once a month? I wish he'd just tell us what's really going on...." I sighed and leaned back, staring at the fire angrily.
"O no kidding..." James rolled his eyes. "It's such a lame excuse. Maybe it's something awful..."
At that point, Lily, who was in the corner doing her homework, burst out laughing.
"What?" James snapped.
"O nothing..." she smiled and buried her face back in the book.
I lost it there. I leapt up and started shouting. "Why won't anybody tell us anything???" I roared. "Lupin's gone again! And you must know why! Neither of you will tell us and he's our best friend!!!!!" I started swearing and ran up to my room.
I bit my lip at that point. I knew I had a bad temper. I guess it was worse then I remembered.
September 28....
Today Lupin walked into the common room smiling like nothing had happened.
"Where were you?" I snarled. I have been in a bad mood since the yesterday.
"O...my mum was sick."
"Really? And she's better now?" I raised my eyebrow.
"Well..." Lupin stopped and sat down.
"Why won't you just tell me????"
"I can't!" he cried.
"I HATE YOU!" I suddenly shouted.
I threw the book across the room. I didn't want to read that one anymore. I am not so innocent. I told me friend, who really needed me, that I hated him. And I told somebody who died later that I was mad at her too. It may have not seemed bad then. But now.....
I had to do something. I instinctively reached for the sixth book. I read the first day, then I'll read another random day, then move on.
September 1....
This is my sixth year.
Much to my dismay, James didn't make it to being the Head Boy this year. Not that he could yet, actually. This Slytherin seventh year, Lucius Malfoy, is Head Boy. I wonder how long he'll last. I heard he almost got expelled hundreds of times, he's just a genius. Stupid, if you ask me.
I noticed that at the end of last year, Snape was hanging around the Whomping Willow. I think he suspects we have something to do with it. Lupin and I are plotting to get him attacked by it later on in the year...
I smiled and began searching for that page. It had to be here somewhere.....
March 28......
I just told Snape that you had to prod the know to get into the Whomping Willow. Lupin will be going down there later. I hope he'll be smart enough not to enter the tree.
Not my luck at all. Snape waited until he saw Lupin head over. Now he's about to enter the tree....O GOD!!!! HE'S GONNA GET KILLED! More later, I got to go do something...
Later.....
I can't believe I told him that. I mean, he came so close to getting killed by Lupin it wasn't funny. Even though I hate him. James was actually the one who pulled him out. I was to scared.
With a sudden shout of fury I slammed the book shut. I was nothing like the innocent boy I remembered I was.
But the seventh book pulled me in.
September 1....
The first day, and Lupin is already ill. Full moon. We ran around outside for a time. But when we came in, Dumbledore was waiting for us.
He gave us all a long talk about walking around at dark. He doesn't know we're animagi.
I gave him the slip and told him that James had lost his Potions book on the grounds when he first entered the school and he wanted to read up on it. It was a lame lie, but it kept him away from the truth.
Ha! It was indeed a lame lie. James, do extra schoolwork?
June 26.......
The seventh year dance. Lily and James went together. Lupin is alone. So am I. So is Peter, actually. Kind of funny. One of the four of us found a date. But I'm mad. I was planning on asking Lily. But I lingered, and now I'm too late.
I feel so miserable though. Halfway through, I got really bored and stole Lily away from James. I danced with her the rest of the time. She shrugged it off and pretended it never happened. But I could tell that James was upset.
He came up to me at the end of the dance and told me: We may get married in a few years. You can be best man if you wish.
I knew he said it all for spite.
I was far from innocent. The thing I did then seem unimportant, but now, they are hitting me hard. They certainly aren't grounds for Azkaban, but now I wonder why the Dementors didn't affect me. What I did do was wrong. And that was only the few pages I actually read. There were still hundreds more, hundreds more evil things.
I am Sirius Black.
And I am anything but innocent. Anything. But evil, that is. I am not evil. Maybe I am. I do not know.
I jerked up and transformed into a dog. I grabbed up the seven books in my mouth and fled from the room. I would read them another time. When I felt ready to.
Anything but innocent...
A/N- I doubt there will be a sequel I just kind of wrote this. It just kind of wrote itself, actually. I finished it, leaned back, and said, "Hey! I don't really like this!" But why not submit it and make a few Black lovers happy? [if this can make anyone happy, it's so unfinished]