Here As Your Catcher

A/N: I couldn't stand all the spotlight on Furuya anymore. And Miyuki - Oh God, it's totally killing me. I had to make this one-shot to vent. There are some statements there were taken from the actual manga so if you haven't read it yet, I'm sorry - spoiler alert!

Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Miyuki hadn't gotten together with Sawamura yet? Damn it.

Disappointment. Shock. Incomprehension.

That was all Sawamura could remember - the flash of emotions crossing the catcher's face. He just had to look away. He couldn't accept all the negativity Miyuki was expressing despite it being - probably - unintentional.

"Damn it!" Sawamura yelled to the empty field, legs pushing hard on the ground and forcing himself to continue running. His muscles were aching and screaming with exhaustion, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. He needed the release and the relief from everything he was feeling. His left leg buckled under him and he let out a strangled gasp as he didn't manage to stop the fall and fell head-first his chest slamming hard against the tire and almost knocking his breath away.

"Oh God," he murmured to himself as he continue to lie on the tire, an involuntary shiver passing through him as the cool wind starting blowing over the layer of perspiration on his exposed skin. "Oh God."

A tear trickled out from the corner of his eye. Stop it, Eijun, don't cry.

There's no need for two pitchers on the mound.

Another tear splashed down, a spot darkening on the dry field. "Fuck!" He slammed his fist down the ground, his yell echoing out. The decrescendos of his own curse kept haunting him, as if taunting his poor performance in the game against Yakushi.

"I'm going to be the ace! Not him. Not him."

The mound was getting further away. The mound was drifting away from his grasp and he felt as if it would completely leave his sight if he continued to run. He remembered catching a smile on Miyuki's face after Furuya subbed in for him on the mound and struck out the batter. That smile...

"That... smile," he choked, pushing his palms against the ground. Perhaps Miyuki felt that Furuya was better fitted for the position of the ace. Maybe Miyuki would be the one to vouch for Furuya being the ace. When he saw Furuya step towards him, hand reaching out for the ball he clasped tightly in his own sweaty one, his heart slammed hard against his ribs - his mind was screaming for him to not hand over to him.

But what else could he say? What could he do? It was natural that he'd be switched out if he couldn't even get one out when he gave up three runs. He was useless on the mound. His pitches were ridiculous, absurd, horrible, awful - just plain terrible. When Miyuki attempted again and again to lead him to pitch the balls... he failed all his instructions. When he pushed the ball into Furuya's hand, he felt as if he was tearing his own heart out and handing it over to him as well.

It hurt him so much. The tears just streamed. He couldn't stop it.

What kind of ace would he be?

Fuck, he was so weak. He was so weak the coach had to send him to the outfield. Had a different training schedule -

He wiped away the tears blurring his vision with the back of his hand, swiping the watery mucus on his pants clumsily then got back up on his knees with his partner tire (the only reliable partner),

"Come on, Mr. Tire, let's go for another run! Yeaaaah!" His voice broke a little at the end, but there was no one there to hear that small sign of weakness. At least no one saw him crying.

"I made through today." Sawamura grinned to himself in the mirror. "I will be all right, yeah!"

His fingers itched to touch the ball again. He wanted to feel the rough stitches against the pad of his fingers; he wanted to fling it out of his grasp for the catcher; he wanted to hear the satisfying hit against the mitt.

He needed to pitch.

He turned the tap on and splashed cold water against his face, took a deep breath, then stalked out of the bathroom. He would definitely be all right. He would have to get up from this. He would not be destroyed by the fear - this inane fear would not stop his goal of becoming the ace. He would get the number one. He definitely had to.

He made his way to the office after he felt he had composed himself enough and seated himself at the corner of the table. As both videos were brought before his sight, he came to realize that his form was destroyed the moment there was a presence of a batter. Yes, he was scared. It was true.

A pregnant silence.

He could only stare at his two fisted hands on the table, berating himself for being a coward. But what could he do to overcome it? What should he do if he couldn't do any inside corner pitches? He had to know how to pitch them again. It was his strongest weapon, wasn't it? Even as he was ruminating over these, he could feel Miyuki's heavy gaze on him. What would Miyuki say to him now? That he was disappointed that he was playing so badly? Would the coach want to take him off the first string now that he was useless?

"Sawamura."

Miyuki's sharp tone brought the pitcher's head up. "Don't confuse yourself by thinking the difficult stuff."

Miyuki's dark eyes were holding Sawamura's, and for a moment, Sawamura waited for Miyuki to scold him for messing up.

"Your control was never good to begin with." Miyuki's face had twisted to the usual annoying one, one that always got under Sawamura's skin. Sawamura's brow twitched and his own face contorted, not expecting that kind of statement to come out of his mouth. "Since you're stupid."

Sawamura stared, bewildered and unsure of what to say. Miyuki was certainly being his usual condescending self around him instead of expressing any disgust at his poor pitching skills. "Hn? You look surprised, Sawamura."

A smirk tugged on Miyuki's face as he dragged his chair much closer to Sawamura, tilting his face to the side as he looked up at the reddening pitcher's face. "It's the truth after all. The faster you accept it, the better."

This jerk! He was supposed to be the damned captain! Why the hell was he being so.. so blunt?

The curl of Miyuki's lips remained. "I'm always this blunt, stupid."

He suppressed his look of surprise at how perceptive the catcher was to his thoughts.

And, despite himself, Sawamura resisted a small grin of his own at them falling back to their usual dynamics and instead huffed and turned away. Miyuki chuckled under his breath and ruffled Sawamura's soft dark brown locks. The junior almost leaned against his touch, loving the feeling of Miyuki's fingers - what the fuck was he thinking? He jerked away from his touch and made a face at Miyuki.

"Y - you! Shut up, Miyuki!"

He hated how Miyuki was able to control how he felt so easily. Whether the catcher knew it or not (and Sawamura sure hope he didn't), the idiot knew deep down, that Miyuki was affecting him more than he should.

As the players yelled farewell to Sawamura, he grinned and waved. Yes, he had to keep up with his cheerful facade after all. He was given a chance to be in the bullpen again! He had to get back up on his feet. He had to grow stronger and become the ace of this team.

An ace that no one would have any dispute against.

Your control was never good to begin with. Since you're so stupid.

"Bastard!" Sawamura yelled, the ball flinging too high and hitting hard against the net. Damn Miyuki! He always had no restraints when it came to criticizing people, and he was especially blunt to Sawamura. Was he not aware of his new position as the captain? Honestly, sometimes he felt as if Miyuki didn't really care whether he could upset him or not.

"Ass," the pitcher muttered under his breath. He positioned his fingers on the stitches, checking the grip, then pulled back and swung his arm as fully as he could. The ball swished and hit the net before dropping down on the ground. Not good enough. It wasn't fast enough.

But Miyuki was right. His control was never good. He needed to work on it. As he reached back into the box for the balls, a familiar voice startled him and he almost dropped the ball in his grasp.

"You've been pitching quite a lot," Chris said, walking towards him, mitt in hand, "were you checking for the grip for every pitch?"

Chris-senpai!

Sawamura stared at him and felt a smile slowly forming on his face.

"Do you wanna pitch a few?" His tone was soothing, soft. It had been too long since anyone made the initiative in such a manner. Last time he had asked Miyuki for it, he had brushed him off for Furuya. His gut clenched uncomfortably and before the queasy feelings overtook him, he nodded eagerly, yelling his own agreement.

Sawamura grinned; he was far too happy to have his mentor back.

Miyuki pushed himself back up from the wall. He had seen the grin on the pitcher's face. It was bright and overwhelmingly happy. He should feel relieved that one of the important players was getting back on his feet - and with the help of a reliable and a senior he respected greatly. When he saw Sawamura breaking down in the field alone, he felt that something had to be done - that idiot was taking it too hard on himself.

But his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed as Chris crouched down with a gentle smile on his face, and waited for Sawamura's pitch. A usual boisterous cheering came from the loud junior and his spirits seemed to be considerably lifted.

His fist clenched by his side, nails digging into his palm. He was fucking annoyed that Chris was the one helping Sawamura. He took a deep breath, pulled down his cap further to hide his eyes which he was sure were full of anger and frustration and left.

He couldn't stay there for another second.

It was a few days after Chris-senpai had taught him that pitch.

He wiped a drop of sweat trailing down the side of his face: training to pitch with the right grip, right strength and aiming for the right spot was difficult. He grinned; but he did always like a challenge. He would never let his fear be his weakness again.

He had asked Miyuki to be his catcher for a few pitches that afternoon, but contrary to what he had expected, the catcher brushed him off coldly instead of his usual annoying teasing. It was unsettling how Miyuki was acting and the grin on his face disappeared as quickly as it came.

"Damn it!" He flung the ball carelessly against the net. He couldn't concentrate with Miyuki's stoic face not leaving his mind even for a single second. What happened to make him angry? Him not being able to get over yips? That was ridiculous; it wasn't as if he wanted to have that shit.

He growled in frustration and collected the balls strewn over at the net one by one, throwing back into the basket. He wouldn't get any productive pitching done this way. He had to go for a run.

He needed something to drink. He was ready from the first inning, but till the last - the coach never called him to substitute for Kawakami. He was honestly, a little taken aback by Furuya's pitching today. It was hasty and impulsive; all like him but he was obviously stretching himself over his own limits. Sawamura huffed. That little idiot - once he got the chance, he would not let Furuya get the number that easily again.

".. I really wanted him to recover on his own."

Miyuki? He halted in his steps and peeked from behind the wall. He could see the weird coach that was hanging around too much lately with Miyuki and Furuya - with the damned number one on his back! He gritted his teeth; yes, he would get it on his own back soon.

"Right?"

What about recovering? What was an outsider talking to the captain of their team?

"I also thought he was subbed in too early." The coach did a disapproving gesture, then shoved one of his hands into his pockets. "All the more if we intend to make an ace out of Furuya."

An ace... out of Furuya? Also? The usually unperceptive pitcher caught on - so Miyuki thought Furuya should be the ace of the team too? He didn't want to listen to anymore of this; his head hurt and his heart clenched. He felt utterly betrayed by the one catcher that he thought he could trust - Miyuki didn't have to vouch for Sawamura to be an ace, but he thought that Miyuki would have waited for him to recover before making his own judgment. His jaw clenched and he resisted the urge to run out of his spot to confront them all. Instead, he ran back to the empty field for his trusty tire.

"An ace - Furuya," he muttered to himself as he tied the tire around his waist. "And he agreed."

What about me? Miyuki, what about me?

He felt a warm liquid splash on his hand, looked down to the tear-stained spot, and gritted his teeth. He was finally getting back on his feet - but Miyuki was making him fall back down again. Yes, perhaps it was the coach who said that but Miyuki agreed -

"Shut up, Eijun! You're being pathetic!" His fingers clasped on the tires and he broke into a run in the field again. He ignored the complains of his own calves after ten rounds.

His lack of breath after twelve.

The pelting of the merciless rain on himself after fifteen.

He was drenched thoroughly and he didn't intend to stop. He was indeed getting too far from the mound. Chris-senpai was wasting his efforts, wasn't he? He felt breathless, exhausted, sick and tired - he would have to stop. He slowed down, but his muscles proved too sore for him to properly stand and instead, he fell to his knees.

"I'm so pathetic."

He didn't even realize he was sobbing. The rain was disguising his tears. All the while the warm streams of liquids were not the rain - it was his own frustration, pain and helplessness. He could do nothing but cry, his fingers pulling hard on the weeds on the almost barren field, choking and heaving after every sob. The rain continued to pelt on him and he didn't fucking care.

Everyone had pinned their hopes on Furuya, hadn't they?

"You're self-destructing."

The familiar voice jolted Sawamura and he continued to face the ground as he hastily wiped the tears away, hoping fervently that the rain would hide his swollen eyes enough.

"Wahahahaha! What are you saying?" Sawamura got back on his feet and looked up, and almost staggered back when he realized how close Miyuki was standing. He could see the disapproving crease on his lip as the catcher stared at him, eyes hard and dark.

"Sawamura."

Said boy laughed as hard as he could, scratching the back of his head. "Sorry! I didn't realize it was raining! Wahahaha! I better be heading back, huh! Wahaha!" He was aware how tense his own laughter sounded and if he knew, Miyuki obviously could as well. He quickly got the tire back under his arm and hurriedly made past the unusually quiet captain.

"Let's go pitching."

Even with the pitter-patter of the rain, Sawamura could hear his words. No; just go, Eijun. He obviously felt sorry for you - though he knew deep down that Miyuki didn't harbour any distinct characteristics of being so. So instead, he continued to march forward, intent to reach back up the steps. Seeing Miyuki hurt more than he thought it would. He was behaving like this when he was just agreeing that Furuya should be the ace just a few hours ago? What an asshole.

He felt a sudden strong grip on his arm.

Shocked, he froze on the spot. After a second, he finally gathered up the courage and demanded, "What, Miyuki?"

He knew he sounded rude but he didn't really care anymore. "Let go of me."

Miyuki was pushing him against the fence in an instant. Sawamura's gasp was caught in his throat and his cheeks burned with embarrassment at the close proximity. "M - Miyuki! What are you doing?"

"I'd like for you to show more respect to me sometimes," he snarled; even under the darkness of the gloomy weather, Sawamura could see the glint in the dark eyes of the catcher. Despite that, he couldn't look away from the intense gaze - he wouldn't.

Furuya was more important than him. He broke away from the eye contact, jerking his head to the side.

"Just leave me be, Chris-senpai will practice with me. You can continue to catch Furuya's pitches. He's the one who will forming a battery with you, anyway." He was completely rambling, but he didn't miss the dark look on Miyuki's face and he decided that perhaps it would be best to keep his mouth shut.

"Listen to me, you fucking idiot."

"Here as a captain, Miyuki? Ha!" Sawamura snapped back, now irritated as well. He wasn't the one in the wrong anyway. What was up with Miyuki? In his own anger, he failed to see the clenching of Miyuki's jaw and his intense eyes which almost glowered in the dark. "Let me go, Miyu - " He stopped when a pair of calloused hands cupped both sides of his face, forcing him to meet the heavy gaze of the captain. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't move and his heart slammed so hard against his ribs he was afraid Miyuki could hear.

Before he could register anything else, Miyuki's mouth had covered his own.

Miyuki's cologne was cloaked around him and despite Sawamura's initial shock, his hands were already bunching up the front of the soft fabric of Miyuki's jersey and pulling him closer to him. Miyuki's hands were grasping the sides of the pitcher's face gently but firmly, the pads of his thumb pressing on his warm cheeks and Sawamura revelled on how the slightly chapped lips of the captain's felt so good against his own as they kissed, and the captain ran his fingers through his brown damp hair, making Sawamura moan involuntarily into his mouth.

After a moment, Miyuki broke apart from the kiss, resting his forehead on Sawamura's, eyes molten as they stared straight back at Sawamura.

There was a slight pause as they both caught their breath, eyes never leaving the other.

"I'm here as your catcher." He brushed his curled lips against Sawamura's sensitive earlobe, "Eijun." The pitcher couldn't resist a shudder running down his spine at how the syllables rolled off his tongue and how husky his voice was.

"So now, idiot," the captain drawled as he pulled back, the familiar smirk played on the catcher's slightly swollen lips, and Sawamura couldn't help staring at them. What the hell just happened? "Ready for some pitching?"

A/N: There may be some mistakes here and there; I will correct them when I have time tomorrow! Do leave me a review to tell me your thoughts!

-mysticflakes