It's dark and Charles is left to his own thoughts in the midst of the night, feet cold beneath the crisp white sheets that are not used to occupying anything. He can't remember the last time he has slept in a bed, but it was long before now. His mind is awake and buzzing, but his thoughts are drowned out by the creaking of floorboards outside his bedroom door. It's shut, but Charles knows what the creaking is.
It isn't the first time Erik has checked on him.
000
Neglected children are made to feel invisible, and Charles wonders whether he'd find it ironic or funny if his mutation was the ability to become invisible, rather than telepathy. He can make people not see him, and that's sort of the same thing.
He doesn't find it all that ironic or funny. And he still winces when he catches smell of his Mother's perfume.
000
"Do you think I'm pretty, Charles?"
It's the third time Raven has asked him these sorts of questions, and Charles still gives her the same answer.
"Of course you are, Raven. Blue and beautiful. Don't worry about your appearance."
When Charles was 14, he read about a girl who killed herself in the papers. She had been bullied prior to her death.
Charles had vowed to never let any friend of his be bullied so much that they would end their lives. Back when he only had Raven to look out for, it was easy. But Hank, Alex, Sean... And Erik. He has his heart open to them all, still as cautious as he was when he read the article.
His heart is never truly his own.
000
"You care far too much, Charles," Erik says, sprawled in an armchair in front of a chessboard.
"About what?"
"Other people," he shrugs, moving a pawn. "And their well being."
"That's not a bad thing," Charles says.
"I have never seen your smile match your eyes, that's all."
000
Charles has never seen his smile at all.
He never did like looking into mirrors.
000
Rain lashes heavily outside and Charles feels empty, pacing back and forth. It's nearly midnight - sleep will not grace him tonight.
The sound of soft padding join the rain, as the pacing continues.
He doesn't know when Erik joins him, but he ends up sitting down in a chair and sleeping, with Erik beside him.
000
Charles decides he's unhappy the next morning when he wakes up to find Erik snoring on the table next to him.
He plans to tell Erik, but he figures Erik already knows and that's why he's there.
000
"I don't like seeing you sad, and I hope you know that."
No reply.
"Charles? I think you're a lot greater when you are truly happy."
000
Erik is set on making Charles smile. It starts with the sarcastic comments over dinner.
"This pumpkin soup tastes like pumpkin," Sean frowns.
"Really? I was thinking more along the lines of strawberry. Gosh, you're a genius Sean!"
Raven snorts and Hank sniggers, while Sean looks confused. Alex rolls his eyes and shakes his head, but Erik doesn't notice this.
His eyes are fixed on Charles, who wasn't even paying attention.
000
The bad jokes start not a day later.
"Charles?"
Charles looks up at Erik, who is standing in the doorframe, a slight grin plastered on his face.
"Yes, Erik?"
Erik's grin widens. "Knock knock."
Charles stares at him blankly for a moment, not understanding, until his lips purse into an O and he realizes what Erik means. "Oh, who's there?"
"Lettuce."
"Lettuce who?"
"Lettuce in, it's freezing out here!"
Erik beams, obviously proud of himself for thinking up the joke, and waits for Charles to smile.
Charles just rolls his eyes and returns back to his work.
Needless to say, Erik goes back to his room and begins to think of another joke.
000
"Why did the one handed man cross the road, Charles?"
"I don't know Erik, why?"
"To get to the second hand store!"
"Really, Erik?"
'You're in idiot,' Erik hears in his mind, and he looks at Charles, who raises his eyebrows and says no more, verbally or telepathically.
000
"What do you call a monkey with bananas in his ears?"
An sigh comes, followed by a "I don't know."
"Anything you want, he can't hear you."
Another sigh sounds.
000
"Why is a-"
"Erik, really?"
000
"Hey, Charles, how did the-"
"I don't care."
000
By now, Erik is exhausted, having tried every joke he could think of, and even asking Raven, Alex, Hank, and Sean for suggestions. He's said every knock knock joke, rolled every punch line he knows, and yet, Charles has not smiled once. He's given up, but Charles doesn't seem to know that.
"Charles, do you kno-"
"For heavens sake, Erik, I don't give a rats arse!"
Charles is fuming, irritated, and hasn't slept properly in days. It's all of this that led him to not noticing that Erik, for once, isn't smiling.
"I was going to ask if you know where Raven is," Erik mutters. He says no more, and merely sweeps out of the room, and Charles is left alone once more, feeling more lonely than ever.
000
Erik is avoiding Charles, and for some reason, despite his hatred for all the past jokes, Charles misses Erik's attempts to get him to laugh.
'Never know a good thing till it's gone, Xavier,' he thinks bitterly.
000
Raven, frankly, is fed up.
Charles is unhappy, and Erik is unhappy. Their moods hang uncomfortably in the atmosphere of the Xavier mansion, affecting them all. So, Raven does what Raven knows best.
She asks them both individually to meet her in the bunker, before asking Hank, Alex and Sean, to help.
Hank holds the key to the bunker and waits patiently behind the passageway, until Erik is inside and Charles has just walked in. Doing just as Raven told him, he locks the bunker door.
000
The lock clicks and Charles turns around rapidly.
"Really?" he calls aloud. "How mature of you, Raven!"
"She won't be able to hear you, Charles," Erik sighs, leaning against the wall.
"I'm a telepath, remember?"
"Arguing with her won't make her let us out."
Charles sighs, and turns his back to the door. "I suppose you're right."
"So," Erik says.
"So," Charles says.
They both stare at the ground, silence filling the room.
"I'm sorry," Charles admits. "I didn't mean to snap at you, I just assumed you were making another silly joke."
"All I was trying to do was make you smile, Charles. You never smile. You spend so much time trying to make sure the rest of us are happy that you don't even notice that you're sad, and when you do, you don't attempt to change it! I made those stupid jokes to try to make you smile, and you snapped at me, not even bothering to find out if I was making a joke or not!" Erik says, not holding back.
Charles takes it all in, hearing every word Erik says and considering it. "I am truly sorry, Erik."
"As am I, I suppose. I shouldn't have bothered."
"I do appreciate it," Charles says. "The jokes were awful, but I appreciate the reason why you said them."
Erik continues to look at the ground, swallowing hard. "They're not going to let us out, are they?"
Charles pressed his fingers to his head. "They're upstairs, drinking cola and talking. They're planning to return in an hour."
"Right," Erik says.
Charles nods, and they shuffle their feet around, unsure as to what to say, what to do.
"Oh, you know what? Fuck it," Erik says all of a sudden, and he pushes Charles against the wall and kisses him, quickly. It's short, and Erik pulls away first, anxious and uncertain. But when he looks up, Charles is smiling.
And damn it, if it wasn't the loveliest thing he had ever seen.
000
When Raven, Sean, Alex, and Hank return an hour later to unlock the bunker door, they're met with an alarming sight.
Charles and Erik are both shirtless and on the floor of the bunker, attacking each other's faces with their lips.
Raven rolls her eyes. Hank blushes. Alex mimes vomiting and Sean turns away.
Charles and Erik look up at the kids, shrug, and then return back to kissing.
As they close the door behind them, not bothering to lock it, Charles laughs into Erik's kiss. Erik's hands move down to removes his pants, and Charles twists his fingers in Erik's hair. The floor is cold, their 'family' just walked in on them, and they are going to have to return to some awkward questions, but Charles is truly, and unmistakably, happy.
For the first time in ages, Charles feels happy.