Disclaimer: Nope, definitely don't own them.
A/N- This has eaten my life. This story, this pairing, this band. I've become completely obsessed and it is awesome. I was kind of hesitant to post this...but apparently there are other stories for this pairing on sooo here goes nothing I guess? Let me know what you think! Enjoy!
Warnings: Temporary character(s) death(s), brief thoughts/mentions of suicide...lots of swearing because apparently the Frank in my head likes to swear. Some violence, some sex...I think that about covers it. Oh, um, RPS...that may be another warning.
"Hey." Frank grins and drapes himself over Gerard's shoulder on the couch, crowding into his space even though the rest of the couch is free. Gerard just lets him, shifting a bit until they're both comfortable and Frank can watch him sketch.
He hasn't drawn anything in awhile, which admittedly had Frank a little worried because a Gerard that wasn't drawing was a Gerard more prone to slipping into dark moods. And watching as he sketches Mikey, sitting curled up in the armchair, glasses perched precariously on his nose and book balanced on his knees, is relaxing.
The steady motion of the bus and the feel of Gerard, warm against his side, are slowly melting the tension that has sat high between his shoulders for hours. He's had an odd feeling all day, kept waiting for something to happen during the concert and then at the after party when nothing did and it's only now, curled up on the bus on their way to the next venue that he finally starts to relax.
"You're thinking too loud." Gerard murmurs quietly and casts him an inquiring look from underneath ridiculously long lashes and Frank has to fight the urge to kiss them.
"Sorry." He says instead, just as quietly and drops his chin onto Gerard's shoulder.
"Is everything okay?" Gerard asks pencil paused on the paper. The charcoal has smudged, dark against his pale skin.
"Yeah." Frank shrugs lightly and offers a small, crooked grin. "Just had a weird feeling today."
Gerard nods like he knows what Frank means and Frank gives into temptation and presses a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth- friendly, platonic and if he had more guts it would last longer and be anything but platonic- and is rewarded with Gerard's smile and bright blush.
"Get a room." Mikey says but his eyes never leave his book and Frank is pretty sure that he's more amused than anything else.
"Got one." Frank shoots back and even throws in a leer but Mikey just smirks and still doesn't look up from his book so Frank grabs a t-shirt hanging off the back of the couch, and they've all worn it at some point so he's not even sure who's shirt it is anymore, bunches it up and throws it. It doesn't manage to hit Mikey in the head, like he'd been intending, but it lands on his book and he finally looks up and.
And there's a bang loud enough to hurt his ears, even after being on stage, and it feels like the bus has gotten into a fight with a cement wall and lost. Suddenly he's not on the couch anymore but being thrown and he just knows this is going to hurt and above it all, the terror and the confusion, he can hear Gerard's scream and the world shifts and gravity reclaims him and he hits the ground again, hard.
./.
Frank doesn't want to wake up. His head is pounding like millions of spikes are being drilled in slowly and methodically. There isn't a part of him that doesn't hurt. He groans, trying to voice this but the sound gets caught in his throat and he tries to suck in air to clear it but the air is filled with acrid smoke and it catches in his lungs and he can't catch his breath. There's a weight pressing down on him and he fumbles, pries his eyes open and tries to shove it off.
The arm chair- the fucking armchair that had been bolted down to floor- doesn't budge.
"Gerard." He tries to say but the name catches in his throat. He clears it and tries again. "Gee."
The bus- he twists his head to look around and the pain that shoots through him makes him clench his teeth and squeeze his eyes shut until it passes- is destroyed. It's dark and quiet and he feels like there should be noise, there should be voices, screaming, sirens, something but instead the silence is pressing in on him.
"Mikey." He croaks out. There's still no response.
The grey edges are creeping back in on him and he almost wants to just sink back under, away from the pain and the silence and the destruction.
He cranes his neck and nearly cries at how much it fucking hurts but he spots familiar black hair and pointed nose and pale skin.
"Gee." He says again and hears noise coming from the back of the bus now and part of him thinks its Bob yelling. "Gerard." He says again but he's so still and something twists, sick, in his stomach and his eyes burn as something hot and wet rolls down his cheek and past his ear to the floor and then the darkness takes him.
./.
Frank bolts from his bunk, pushing past Ray who is making his way to the back of the bus. Ray calls something after him but Frank can't hear it over the roaring in his ears. The bus- the bus is intact under his feet, under his hands, Ray is walking around but its crawling under his skin- the need to see, to know for sure that-
Gerard grins at him from where he's playing with the coffee maker- trying unsuccessfully to make a pot of instant coffee- but the grin fades as he takes in Frank, and Frank knows he must look like a mess, must look crazy, to warrant the worried frown that replaces Gerard's gorgeous smile.
"Frankie?" He puts down the coffee pot. "What is it? What's wrong?"
But Frank just crosses the remaining distance in two quick strides and pushes Gerard up against the cupboards with his body, trapping him there. He pushes his face into Gerard's neck, just breathing in, listening to the steady beat. His hands slide up under the edge of Gee's thin t-shirt, seeking the warm bare skin he finds there.
Silence falls over the room and Frank tightens his hold as Gerard hesitantly rests his hands on Frank's shoulders, before sliding down and pulling him into a tight hug, like Gerard is just as freaked out as he is even if he doesn't know why.
"So," Mikey says from somewhere behind him and Frank jerks, surprised. He keeps his eyes closed and his face pressed against Gee's neck. "Do you two have something to tell us?"
And Frank isn't quite ready to relinquish his hold so Gerard flips Mikey off for him.
"Frankie?" Gerard whispers against his ear, voice low, worried. "What is it?"
And he's had bad dreams before but that one is still clinging to him, even now that's he's awake- he can remember it like it actually happened, can feel the phantom pains clinging to him and he doesn't know what to do with it.
"Frank." Gerard says and he knows he's really starting to freak him out.
"Bad dream." He murmurs, voice rough and hesitant and he doesn't say anything more.
./.
"Check the fucking bus!"
He'd been fine; he'd begun to calm down. Gee had even managed to get him to the couch and wedged between his body and a blanket while the other's had watched with various worried looks.
And then they had started talking about the venue and the after party- all small talk to make him relax.
But they were talking about the venue from his dream. And Mikey pulled out the same fucking book from the dream and everywhere he looked events from the dream kept happening and Frank was back to freaking out before he'd even realized it. Because it had all happened yesterday. Or in the dream. Fuck.
So Frank had thrown the blanket on the ground, climbed off Gee and screamed at their driver until they'd had to pull over to the side of the highway.
Bob had an arm wrapped around his waist, trying to hold him back from doing what he wasn't sure, but he didn't care, couldn't care about the terrified looks Mikey and Gerard were exchanging like he'd finally lost it, he just kept yelling and fighting until their fucking driver finally got it and climbed off the bus to check for anything that shouldn't be there.
"Frank." Ray appears in his line of sight and it's only then that he realizes that he's still fighting Bob's hold, still kicking and clawing and it takes everything he has to stop, to just sink back against Bob. The fight leaves him abruptly and his knees buckle and his vision whites out for a moment before he comes back to himself curled up on the couch, his band mates all watching him like he's about to lose it again.
He curls in on himself further, still in his pyjamas and feeling so fucking vulnerable that it makes him sick.
"Sorry." He murmurs, cheek pressed against the back of the couch. And sorry doesn't even begin to cut it. Gerard and Mikey do this complicated communicating thing with their eyebrows and Mikey frowns and Gee presses his lips together in a thin line then turns and climbs back onto the couch, hesitantly.
"I'm okay." Frank says softly and Gerard pushes closer to him and wraps him up in his arms and Frank just breathes and wonders what the hell is going on with him.
"I know." Gee replies and their driver climbs back on.
"The steering columns cracked." He says, scrubbing a hand over his face. "I'm getting someone out here to take a look at it."
"Wait- something's actually wrong with the bus?" Ray says, eyebrows rising to impossible heights.
"Yeah." He gives Frank an odd look, like he's trying to figure out how Frank could have possibly known that, but Frank just closes his eyes and burrows deeper into Gee's arms. "We're not going anywhere for a bit."
No one really knows how to ask how he knows what he does and Frank isn't sure how to answer any of their questions anyways so they let the topic slide for now. He figures he'll have a lot of explaining to do after the show tonight, if they make it on time.
Gerard presses a kiss to his forehead and Frank tries not to think for a while.
./.
They make it to their show, albeit it barely. A van gets sent for them and they make it with just enough time to grab their instruments and hasten back stage.
Frank finally starts to relax up on the stage, throwing himself into the music with everything he has.
They make it through the set without a hitch and Frank spends the last song inching closer and closer to Gerard until he's close enough to press an open mouth kiss to his cheek and then bounce away grinning like an idiot. Gee watches him go, matching grin in place and struts his way across the stage and Frank feels like he's won the fucking lottery or some shit like that.
And then Ray calls something out and Frank looks up, fingers faltering on his guitar as Gerard's foot catches on a loose wire, a fucking loose wire that should not be there and he topples off the stage and into the sea of fans.
Mikey and Bob play another few beats before they realize what has happened and Frank rushes to the edge, watching as the security guards converge on the space where Gee has disappeared and he waits for him to bounce back up, to brush it off and laugh at his own clumsiness before finishing the show.
But Gerard doesn't reappear.
./.
Frank wakes and stares at the ceiling of his bunk blankly as he tries to piece together what has happened.
He wants to lay there, wants to go back to sleep and not wake up again.
Instead he hears voices coming from the front of the bus and laughter and he knows that laugh.
He throws off his covers and walks to the front of the bus hardly daring to believe but- Gerard looks up as he comes in, standing in front of the coffee maker, fiddling with the pot and just generally having no luck with it at all and beams at Frank.
"Hey." He says and his grin fades a little as Frank continues to stand there. "Frankie?" He puts down the coffee pot. "What is it? What's wrong?"
Fuck, he thinks. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
./.
The steering column is cracked.
They're parked at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere, their bus is broken and they have a venue to play in a couple of hours and Frank flat out refuses to get into the car that's been sent for them.
He sits himself down on the gravel at the side of the road, crosses his arms and legs and glares at anyone who comes close to him.
Bob and Ray exchange a look and Frank just knows what they're thinking.
"No." He says before they can come over and pick him up and carrying him to the van. "Fuck no."
"Frankie." Gerard says and seats himself on the ground next to Frank. "Just tell us why you won't get in the van." Or how you knew about the steering column, he doesn't say but Frank hears just the same.
"Because," he starts and his voice cracks and he scrubs his hands furiously over his face because his eyes are starting to burn and there's a lump in his throat that doesn't seem to want to go away. "You'll think I'm crazy." He says instead.
Bob gives him a look that states pretty clearly that he was already thinking that and yeah, Frank is kind of thinking it too.
"How bad can it be?" Gee asks and reaches out to pull Frank's hands away from his face, tangling their fingers together instead.
Frank sucks in a breath and lets it out, unsteady. He'd love a cigarette. No- he'd kill for one. But they're back on the bus and there's no fucking way he's getting back on that death trap.
"Today has already happened." He finally says in a rush and waits for the disbelieving looks.
"You mean like…déjà vu?" Gerard asks, frowning a little.
"No." Frank shakes his head and squeezes Gee's hands a little out of desperation. "No, like it's already happened twice." Gerard opens his mouth to say something and Frank cuts him off because he really needs to get this out now that he's started. "Yesterday you fell off the stage. The day before the bus was wrecked. You died both times." His voice breaks a little but he figures he's allowed.
They're all staring at him now and Frank closes his eyes so he doesn't have to see the pity and the disbelief.
"Okay." Ray finally says, breaking the silence. Frank braces himself, waiting for them to just get fed up and carry him to the van. "We'll keep Gerard away from the edge of the stage and avoid the bus."
Frank stares at him shocked and confused because he didn't actually expect anyone to believe him.
"You knew about the steering column." Ray says. "And we've had weird shit happen to us before."
Mikey is chewing on his lip, silent but he nods and Bob just sighs and Frank fucking loves his band.
"Gee?" He asks as they're getting into the van, crowded with all of their stuff. Do you believe me?
Gerard just smiles, small and presses a quick kiss to his cheek. Of course.
./.
They make good time to the venue, get changed and hang out waiting for their turn on stage. Gerard straddles him ten minutes in and holds his chin in one hand while applying his makeup with the other. Frank uses the time to stare, unabashed at Gerard and looking at Gee is never going to get old.
Gee's lips curve into a small smile and Frank pulls his eyes away from the sight to meet Gerard's gaze, open and inviting and calm. Frank swallows, mouth suddenly dry and thinks maybe and yes and it's almost like Gerard is going to kiss him.
Then Ray goes to plug in the lone television sitting in the corner of the room and is electrocuted.
./.
Frank wakes up and avoids Gerard and Mikey heading to the back of the bus. He can hear their voices, knows they're okay. Ray looks up from where he's strumming away at his guitar and quirks an eyebrow as Frank lets out a sigh of relief.
"You okay?" Ray squints at him like he knows there's something going on with Frank.
"Don't plug in any televisions today." Frank tells him, glaring and arms crossed and Ray just blinks at him.
"Okay?" He says cautiously and Frank nods and goes to drape himself over Gerard.
./.
They get to the venue with plenty of time to sit around. Frank leaves the guys in the dressing room and sneaks back out to the bus where he systematically lets all of the air out of the tires. He scribbles a quick note about checking the steering column and then sneaks back in to the others.
Mikey gives him a weird look when he comes back in but he just grins and says, 'smoke break' and Mikey rolls his eyes.
Gerard is primping in front of the mirror and grins when Frank comes and drapes himself over his shoulder.
"Want me to do your makeup?" He asks and Frank thinks about the previous version of today, with Gerard straddling him and close enough to kiss.
"Sure." He says and pulls Gerard's chair out a bit and throws a leg over his thighs, settling into his lap. Gerard blinks, surprised but a pleased smile spreads across his face. He's feeling pretty good about this version of today actually, like maybe they'll make it through this time.
"Get a room." Mikey calls from where he's curled up with the same fucking book, glasses perched precariously on his nose.
'Got one', is on the tip of his tongue but he swallows down the words and flips him off instead with a grin.
Gerard rests one hand on his chin, holding his head still as he awkwardly starts his makeup. The angle isn't great, but absolutely nothing could get him to move from his perch. He shifts forwards a bit and yeah- he can feel Gerard pressing up against his ass and he presses down just to watch the way Gerard's eyes flutter closed for a moment and his mouth opens in a silent 'o' and maybe-
"Hey, where are Ray and Bob?" Mikey asks without looking up, probably to avoid the sight of his best friend straddling his brother.
"Checking out the green room." Gee answers with a shaky breath, cheeks and lips pink and Frank just wants to lean down and kiss him- wait.
"The green room?" Frank repeats and Gerard nods, confused and eyes dark and Frank thinks fuck.
./.
"If you touch a fucking television set today I will personally make sure that neither of you will be able to play the concert tonight. It will suck and we'll probably get booed off stage but I will do it." Frank corners Bob and Ray in the back of the bus and while he may be tiny, his temper is most definitely not if the looks on their faces is anything to go by. Ray looks confused and a little terrified and Bob blinks and opens his mouth but decides against saying whatever it was he was going to. "Stop playing with electrical wires." Frank has his arms crossed and is not letting their stupidity get them killed again. "Fuck."
Then he turns on heel and heads back to his bunk.
He manages an hour to himself where he plays out the previous days and tries to come up with some way to keep them all safe. Gerard has to stay away from the edge of the stage, Ray and Bob have to stay away from technology and the bus is fine so long as they're not in it after the concert. He's considering the best way to slit the tires without being caught when the curtain shifts and then Gee's head is poking through.
"So," he says and slides in and over so he's up against the wall and Frank isn't about to get claustrophobic and freak the fuck out. Well. At least not over the cramped space. "Ray won't touch the television."
"If I told you something completely crazy even if it was totally true could you maybe pretend to believe me?" Frank asks abruptly and Gee watches him, eyes huge and dark and if he's really stuck in some sort of time loop then what's the harm of leaning in and kissing him just to see, just to know if Gee would kiss him back?
"What is it?" Gerard asks. Here goes nothing, Frank thinks.
"I've got my own version of groundhog day hell."
"Like the Bill Murray movie?" Gerard asks, frowning and Frank nods a little desperately. Gee watches him, brows furrowed and seems to be looking for something so Frank just looks right back and tries to give off an I'm not crazy vibe.
"Comics." Gerard finally says and Frank blinks, unsure of what he means. "We're going to need lots of comics if we're going to find out what's going on."
./.
The other guys aren't really sure what to make of it (or whether to believe him) but they go along with Gerard's plan and spend the next few hours flipping through Gerard's extensive comic collection. They put Mikey in charge of searching the internet if only because Frank still refuses to let Ray and Bob touch anything electronic and Mikey's better at it anyways.
But they arrive at the venue no closer to figuring it out than before.
Frank could refuse, could just not get on stage but if anything happens…he has to find a way around this all.
He slips out to take care of the tires and makes it back just in time, ignoring the curious looks he receives as he takes his instrument and climbs on stage to the screams of hundreds of fans.
Twice he has to push Gerard back away from the edge of the stage and screws up a verse in the process but whatever- it stops Gerard from taking a header into the crowd. He doesn't let himself relax, not this time. Ray, he notes, stays carefully away from any loose wires.
Gee comes up from behind and wraps an arm around his chest, sliding his hand down the collar of Frank's shirt and Frank can't help but go with it, leaning back against Gerard's chest, feeling Gee grind forwards against his ass and fuck he's hard as he closes his eyes and tips his head back as Gerard screams lyrics into the mike next to his ear. And then there's a horrible grinding noise and a crash and the screaming is genuine this time and Frank stops playing as he realizes that Mikey was standing right where the huge stage light is now.
"No…"
./.
"So," Gerard plants another pile of comics in front of him and part of Frank has to wonder where he's been hiding all of these on their tour bus. "What are we looking for?"
"Time loops, days repeating themselves, fucking groundhog days." He snaps and refuses to take his eyes off of Mikey sitting across the room with his same stupid glasses and same stupid book and stupidly alive.
Gerard follows his gaze and then his face goes suspiciously blank when he realizes Frank is staring at Mikey. Frank just grits his teeth and ignores it because seriously? If they make it through today he'll explain everything but right now he just needs to make sure Mikey is alive and not…crushed.
"Fine." Gerard says and picks up a comic, ignoring Frank.
Mikey looks up and glares at him, tilting his head towards Gee but Frank just grinds his teeth together, grabs a comic and starts flipping. He's already sorted out the ones they'd gone through in the last version of today, which unfortunately doesn't leave them with many.
But the answer has to be in here, otherwise he's running out of ideas and that's just not an option.
./.
Outside the venue a fan makes it past security.
Gerard has attached himself to Ray's side and is studiously avoiding both Frank and Mikey. That makes Mikey pissed off at Frank, which just makes Frank even more pissed off at the universe in general, so he's fuming by the time they get off the bus.
One second Frank is glaring daggers at the back of Gerard's head and the next Gee has disappeared from his line of vision. There's yelling and swearing and then this scrawny blonde kid is being pulled off Gee. But. But he isn't getting up.
A sick sour feeling creeps up on Frank and he runs, dropping down next to Gerard and tearing the knees of his jeans in the process.
He sees the blood first.
Gerard stares up at him with wide eyes and Frank catches his hands as they flail for something to hold onto.
"Shit, fuck." Mikey scrambles to their sides and presses down on the deep bleeding cut along Gerard's pale neck. He's crying, behind his glasses and screaming for an ambulance and Frank already knows that it won't make it in time.
"Gee." He breathes as the panicked gaze settles on him and he feels something inside of his chest squeeze and squeeze until he can't breath and he feels like he's the one…dying. And fuck how he wishes every single fucking time that it were him and not someone he cares about, not someone he loves.
Gerard opens his mouth as if to say something but all that comes out is a wet cough and a trickle of blood but Frank understands fuck he understands and he just wants the day to restart again so he can fix this.
And then it does.
./.
Frank rolls out of bed, makes it to the bathroom and throws up what little he has in his stomach. He keeps going until he's not actually throwing anything up, just dry heaving and his stomach is cramping and he's shaking and sweaty but all he can see every time he closes his eyes are Gerard's eyes staring, unseeing back at him.
"Is he sick?" Someone asks from far away but he ignores the voice and crumples up beside the toilet, curled around the cool surface as he tries to get his stomach under control.
"Frankie?" A cool wash cloth is pressed to the back of his neck, soaking the strands of hair there but it feels so good and he groans, pressing his forehead against the floor.
"Come on Frankie, you need to sit up." Two sets of hands tug and pull and lift him until he's seated with his back to someone's chest, still on the floor of their tiny bathroom. They shouldn't fit but somehow they do and he just keeps his eyes closed and focuses on breathing.
"Gee?" He asks and Gerard shifts a little and wraps his arms around Frank's chest, holding him close.
"Yeah." Gerard says quietly, legs folded on either side of Frank, boxing him in, keeping him close and he wouldn't have it any other way.
"I really, really love you." Frank says and holds his breath because this is important, this is huge and maybe this is what he needs to break the loop.
"Think we can get you to your bunk?" Gee asks completely ignoring Franks huge declaration of love.
Frank sighs and Mikey appears at the door and somehow they haul his ass back to his bunk and get him settled under the covers. It's like his mom is with him on tour and he feels a sharp pang of homesickness at the thought.
"Get some sleep." Mikey instructs and disappears and Frank is suddenly struck by how bone weary tired he is. With the day resetting over and over again he isn't even sure when the last time he slept was. And now he's feeling it.
Gerard continues to stand by his bunk, watching him, chewing distractedly on his lip with an unreadable expression on his face.
"Stop staring and get in here." Frank finally says and it's like that's what Gerard has been waiting for, crawling into the bunk to settle between Frank and the wall. He spoons up behind Frank, wrapping an arm around his waist and Frank pushes back into the embrace and says, "I meant it."
Gee makes a quiet, inquisitive noise but Frank doesn't elaborate, eyelids too heavy, feeling too drained and raw and falls asleep.
./.
He insists that he's fine when they reach the venue and stops to tell their driver about the cracked steering column and how none of them are getting back on that bus until it's fixed. He keeps Bob and Ray busy and out of the green room and away from electronics. He hunts down a technician and tells them about the giant fucking light that is about to fall on all their heads if they don't fix it, and Frank admits he scares them into doing it when they try to write it off as nothing. And he keeps Gerard as far away from the fans and the stage as he can.
Nothing happens.
The crowd is wild but Gerard is careful and they make it through the set without a hitch. Frank is tense, waiting for something to happen, unwilling to let his guard down and believe that maybe, just maybe it worked.
He tries to enjoy the after party but he can't keep his eyes off of Gerard and Gerard starts to notice, grinning every time he catches Frank watching. It's just that- he's still alive, still grinning and dancing and singing and not lying on the pavement covered in blood.
"Hey." Gerard wraps a hand around the back of his neck, playing with the tips of his hair and Frank leans into the touch, lets himself be pulled until he's flush against Gerard.
"Hey." He says back, suddenly giddy and happy and turned on.
Gerard's eyes are dark and his face is cast in shadows in the dim lighting of the room they're holding the after party in. No one's really paying attention to them; too caught up in the good mood to notice the way they're pressed together or have any reason to think its different from all the other times they've done it and Frank can barely breathe.
"Let's go back to the bus." Gee says softly and rolls his hips forwards deliberately and Frank bites back the moan that threatens to escape. There's a small smile on Gee's lips, meant only for Frank and he wants nothing more than to lean forwards and capture it for himself but not here, not yet.
They stumble out of the building, hands roaming, sliding under t-shirts and down backs; Frank pulls Gerard against him and Gee's hands slide down, cupping Frank's ass and pulling their hips together and this time the moan does force it's way out and all he wants is to lean forwards and kiss Gerard and he thinks yes- and then.
And then he's being pushed away, hard. He stumbles, trips and lands painfully on the pavement as the car that had been heading their way zooms by and Gerard lays unmoving a few feet away.
./.
Frank downloads Groundhog day off the internet and forces Gerard to watch it with him, arguing the science behind a time loop and how to break one until Gerard quirks an eyebrow at him, gives him a long look and asks what this is all about.
Frank bites his tongue, thinks fuck this and comes up with a plan to break the time loop for good. Then he leans forwards and works on shoving his tongue down Gerard's throat.
Mikey complains about being scarred for life but Frank ignores him and so does Gerard as he climbs into Gee's lap and sucks on his tongue.
It's amazing- it's fucking awesome and he could do this forever. Wants nothing more than to do it forever.
He slides forwards and can feel Gerard's dick pressing up against his ass through their jeans and grinds down, startling a moan out of Gerard that he greedily swallows.
"Seriously- get a room or I'm dumping a bucket of water on both of you." Mikey threatens and Frank knows he's serious so he slides off of Gerard and grabs his hand and pulls him back towards the back of the bus.
"Get the fuck out." He says and barely waits for Bob and Ray to vacate before slamming the door and pushing Gerard down onto the little couch. He sprawls there, dazed and confused and so fucking hot and Frank isn't going to last long.
He strips his jeans off and then drops to his knees in front of Gerard, undoing his belt and jeans, tugging them down and off and then he leans forwards and licks a wet stripe up Gerard's cock.
Gee bucks and shudders and grabs at Franks hair making these delicious noises that Frank doesn't think he'll ever get tired of hearing.
He sucks on the head, wraps his hand around the base and just goes for it. His jaw is killing him and there's spit running down his chin but fuck. He sucks hard, sliding his mouth down until it bumps the back of his throat and lets it fill his senses, lets himself forget everything else except this- the stretch of his lips, the weight of Gerard's cock on his tongue, the noises he makes when Frank pulls back and licks at the slit.
And apparently Gerard isn't going to last much longer because his hips buck up and he's coming and Frank forces his throat to relax and swallow and then he pulls off, shoves a hand in his boxers and jerks his own cock hard a few times before he's coming hard, face pressed against Gerard's thigh.
./.
Gerard tries to talk to him about it after but he just drags him back to his bunk and pushes him in before climbing in and settling in on top of him, content just to drift. He's fairly certain the guys are talking about them at the front of the bus but he just tunes them out. And he doesn't mean to but he falls asleep.
Frank wakes awhile later. Gerard's chest is rising and falling, gentle, beneath his cheek and Frank cracks open an eye and yes, he's asleep.
He takes a moment just to lay there, an overwhelming sadness pushing the contentment away. Because- how long is he going to have this before the universe just hits repeat on him again? He's running out of ideas. Frank watches Gerard, pale skin and dark eyelashes and decides that he can't live through another one of his deaths. He presses a soft kiss to the corner of Gerard's mouth forces himself out of bed. He throws on some clean clothes and heads to the front of the bus. Mikey's the only one there, sitting in the armchair, book propped open on his knees and glasses perched precariously on his nose. For a moment Frank panics and thinks he slept longer than intended but they haven't even made it to the venue yet.
"We're running a little late." Mikey says, glancing up. "There was something wrong with the engine or something?" He shrugs and glances back down at his book but it's pretty clear he's not reading.
Frank waits patiently until he looks up again.
"What's going on with you two?" Mikey asks, eyes narrowed behind his glasses, but more curious than anything else.
"I love him." Frank replies and Mikey looks startled from the honest answer. He watches Frank for a long moment, searching for something and he nods. Then he stands and crosses to the coffee maker, turning it on.
Frank wanders over to the cabinet and pulls it open, a bunch of snack food stares back at him, but behind all of that is the bottle of sleeping pills that Pete had hidden there at the start of the tour. He's not really sure why Pete had sleeping pills or why he had chosen to hide them on their bus but at the moment he doesn't care.
The day repeats when he wakes up. So what if he doesn't?
"I think we have some sun chips around here somewhere." Mikey gets the coffee maker going and heads towards the back. "I'm going to wake up Gerard." And then leaves him there. Alone.
Frank reaches out and grabs the bottle. It's more than half full. Fuck- he doesn't want to. Not now, not when he finally has what he wants.
But he can't live through another day of watching someone he cares about die.
He pops the lid and stares down at the pills and everything just feels hopeless.
"Mikey!" Comes Gerard's outraged cry followed by Mikey's laughter.
Frank closes his eyes, hand clenched around the bottle.
Fuck there has to be another way.
He hastily shoves the lid back on the bottle and the bottle back into the back of the cupboard. He tries to school his face so he doesn't look too guilty and takes a step towards the couch.
The bus swerves.
There's a horrible grating sound and then it's like the bus hit a wall and he hears Mikey yell and Gerard swear and his feet lift off the ground as everything shifts and for a second he's weightless and then he hits the ground hard and everything is too loud and then there's nothing.
./.
Frank doesn't want to wake up. Not now- not when he knows what comes next. His head is pounding like something is fighting to escape and is planning on doing as much damage as it can on the way out. There isn't a part of him that doesn't hurt. His fucking fingers hurt. He groans, trying to voice this but the sound gets caught in his throat and he tries to suck in air to clear it but the air is filled with acrid smoke and it catches in his lungs and he can't catch his breath. There's a weight pressing down on him and he fumbles, pries his eyes open and tries to shove it off.
A chair. The fucking arm chair.
No no no nononononono its too soon.
This happens after the show.
He's supposed to have more time.
He pushes weakly against the chair but it doesn't budge.
"Hello?" He tries to say but it catches in his throat. He clears it and tries again. "Gee."
The bus- he twists his head to look around and the pain that shoots through him makes him clench his teeth and squeeze his eyes shut until it passes- is destroyed. Again. It's dark but he can make out the shattered windows and twisted metal and fuck he has to get up, has to check on the others. They were all in the back- he has to see, has to make sure-
"Mikey." He croaks out. There's still no response. But whether it's because they can't hear him or they're in no position to hear is lost to him.
The grey edges are creeping back in on him and he almost wants to just sink back under, just like before, just to get away from this all, to have the day restart.
He cranes his neck and nearly cries at how much it fucking hurts but he can't see anyone else. No familiar mop of black hair or pointed nose or pale skin.
The coffee maker lays a few feet away, crushed and Frank thinks, well, I didn't like it anyway and for some reason the thought has him giggling, then laughing then coughing as his lungs don't want to cooperate.
He hears something and for a moment he thinks he's imagined it, but then he hears it again.
Bob. It's definitely Bob. And fuck- he's never been happier to hear him.
"Bob." He croaks out. He tries again. "Bob!"
The figure that comes scrambling into the room is definitely not Bob.
Gerard freezes for a second then drops to his knees next to Frank, eyes wide, breathing fast with a cut sluggishly bleeding on his temple. Frank thinks oh fuck brain damage and they need to get Gee to a doctor now.
"Frankie." Gerard's eyes glitter in the darkness and Frank can't figure out why until something wet drops down onto his face. Gerard is crying.
"Hey, it's okay." He tries to say but he isn't sure it comes out right. Gerard's hands flutter through the air like he isn't quite sure what to do with them before settling lightly, a barely there touch, on Frank's chest.
"Frank?" Mikey calls out and appears a moment later, cradling his wrist to his chest, mouth in a tight line, and pale. Bob and Ray come stumbling out of the back, looking a little worse for wear.
Something's different this time but his hazy mind won't tell him what.
"Oh shit." Bob says and moves forwards. "Do we move the chair?"
"Of course we move the fucking chair." Gerard snaps, a hysterical note to his voice. Frank frowns and manages to lift one of his hands to grasp at Gerard's. It draws his gaze back to Frank and he grips Frank's hand a little too tightly but Frank doesn't comment.
"If he's bleeding," Mikey frowns and casts a guilty look at him. "If he's bleeding moving the chair could make it worse."
"It's okay." Frank murmurs because yeah, it hurts, but it's hurting less. And that should probably worry him but he figures it's his turn. The others are okay this time. The thought makes him smile.
"It's not okay." Gerard chokes and moves his free hand from his chest to cup Frank's face gently. "Fuck, where are the paramedics?"
"I'll check on the driver." Ray slides past them and Bob and Mikey settle on either side of them.
"Gee," Frank says and blinks as the grey tries to seep back in again. It makes focusing on Gerard's face difficult. But he has to make Gerard see, that it really is fine. "It's okay, it's my turn."
Gerard stares down at him and the look on his face breaks Franks heart but all he can think is it's not Gerard this time. He doesn't have to watch Gerard die.
"What?" Gerard leans in until their foreheads are touching and he squeezes Frank's hand tighter. "You'll be okay. You'll be fine. Just stay with me."
"Don't worry." The words are heavy in his mouth but Gerard needs to know, just like Frank knew. "The day will restart again."
He lets his eyes slip closed, so unbelievably tired.
"Frankie," Gee says, desperately. "Come on, open your eyes."
But Frank just sighs and thinks, when I die, the day will start over again. Next time- he'll figure out how to stop this all next time.
./.
He's not sure if he hurts or not. It's like, if he moves too much then yeah, its going to hurt like a bitch but maybe if he doesn't move around a lot he'll be fine?
He tentatively shifts a little in bed and there's a bit of an ache but he's feeling brave enough to open his eyes.
When he does, it's not the ceiling of his bunk that he's looking at.
"Frank?" Bob's voice calls him and he blinks and turns his head a bit, satisfied that the motion doesn't bring any excruciating pain and there are Bob and Ray standing next to the bed. His hospital bed.
"What?" He tries to say what happened? But it catches in his throat.
"There was an accident." Bob says slowly and shares a look with Ray. "The bus wrecked. You don't remember?"
"I remember." Frank says and closes his eyes because he can remember it all and he shouldn't be here, in a hospital. He should be back in his bunk, staring at the same fucking ceiling and reliving the same fucking day all over again. But if it is the same day, and there's still time- "How long was I out?"
Ray startles when Frank grabs at his sleeve, desperately but moves closer to the bed so he isn't stretching as far, sending little twinges of pain through his torso.
"Only a day." Ray says and Frank lets his hand drop, lets his whole body sink back into the pillows. A day.
There are voices in the hall, getting louder and closer and then Mikey and Gerard appear at the door.
"Gee." Frank says and Gerard freezes in the doorway, eyes wide, for a long moment. Frank shifts awkwardly in the bed as Gerard continues to stare at him.
Bob and Ray exchange a look and file out, squeezing his shoulder and taking Mikey as they go. And then it's just him and Gee.
He can't figure out what's going on. He should be back in his bunk on the bus.
"You asshole." Gerard says quietly, dropping his gaze, looking everywhere but at Frank.
"Gee." Frank tries again and Gerard is shaking across the room and Frank tries to move, to get up and go to him but it sends a wave of pain through him and he flops uselessly back against his pillows.
Gerard comes to him though, glaring at him as he helps Frank sit up.
Frank tries to reach out to him but he pulls back, arms folded tightly across his chest, hunched in on himself and looking miserable. It makes something ache in his chest and hurts to watch.
"I can't fucking believe you." He hisses and Frank blinks and tries to figure out what's going on. "You're not Bill Murray and if you talk about dying again I'll kill you myself."
Frank blinks and thinks oh.
Gerard's face crumples and Frank reaches out and pulls him close and keeps pulling until he crawls up onto the bed with him. Gerard pushes his face into Frank's neck and holds him close and thinks finally. A wave of relief hits him and makes his breath catch in his chest and he doesn't know what changed, what happened but he's never been happier that it's a new day.
"I really love you, you know." He says after a moment and feels Gerard jerk in his arms. But he doesn't pull away and he already knows what Gerard is going to say. Always has.
"I know." Gee says quietly and presses a kiss to his neck even though Frank must stink. "I. Ditto."
Frank smiles and pulls Gerard as close as he can.
"But later," Gee continues, gazing up at him. "You're going to tell me what you meant."
And Frank thinks okay, because if Gerard believed him before, there's no reason for him not to now, now when they have time and so many new days ahead of them.