Disclaimer: I own nothing... noone - though i wish i did. Its all CBS
Note: Song featured is "He Lives In You" from the Lion King... its one of the stories I had the idea and just got round to finishing it, I still think something might be missing but I got to the point when I couldn't work it out and felt its the best way to leave it as if i couldn't think it obviously was finished.
Comments welcome would love to hear what people think.
He Live In You
He lives in you
He lives in me
He watches over
Everything we see
Into the water
Into the truth
In your reflection
He lives in you
She knew it would be hard, but this hard would be an understatement. She had laughed, cried, screamed out in anger at how the world treated her but none of it would ever really make sense. She knew if anything he would want her to be happy get on with life but it wasn't as simple as ABC it was a mass of stages and timing and friends who knew what to say.
Her emotions weren't exactly well timed as she learnt the past week. One minute she'd be crying herself to sleep thinking about the past, there last moments together. The next she'd be shouting asking why, asking people to leave her alone. Truth is told no one listened to her, they knew in honesty she needed people there even if she stayed in her bedroom all day knowing, they were out there is something.
She stood quietly in the bedroom her hand resting against the small bump she had developed. If things were different he'd still be here she thought but truth be told things would never have been different. He never gave up, he did what he had to do, and this time it cost him his life.
"I'll be out in a second" she sensed the door begin to open. A familiar face staring back at her.
"You know…"
"If you're gonna say to me Danny wouldn't want me to be like this then don't… I know he wouldn't but truth be told it's what I want."
"That's more important" He smiled.
Don Flack had been a lifesaver in many ways, but over the past week he had been there for her. Struggling himself with the simple thing, like watching the game or going for a beer knowing his usual partner in crime wouldn't be there he wasn't prepared to let her go through it alone.
The rest of the team had coped, got on with it the way they always knew how. Work. Hawkes shut off, went about his ways spending his time in books or keeping himself busy in on cases. Stella did what she did best work through it and pretends it was a dream, she broke down at the funeral Mac had her back he knew he was like a brother to her forever telling them off for the snide remarks. Mac however was different he kept his head down, rarely went home and worked all day, everyone knew he dealt with everything different. He shed a tear when it happened not sure how to break the news to Lindsay what to say to a pregnant woman. He didn't let his memory go he was like a son and as much as the trouble that he caused he never could say a bad thing.
She had taken her leave, telling them she was ok wasn't going to work, her first attempted day back ended up in tears sat in the office unsure what to do or even where to start. Flack took her home, waiting until she cried herself to sleep then prayed that it would get easier he didn't want her to loose the baby.
They all did there best to help, sitting with her as she cried, sitting alone in her apartment as she locked herself in the bedroom. They knew it's what he wanted, he never wanted much. Each taking turns to sit there hopes she'd eventually talk. But there was never much to say the simple things like the memories or even work would take them back to an old case where Danny did something or said something the smiles would grow then reality would hit. Bang and they were back at the start again.
It was Don who broke through deciding the only way to help was to wait it out scared for her health and the baby he moved his stuff in, slept on the couch. Lindsay barely realized, went about her daily routine. Get up; get a juice and back to bed curling up in her duvet in Danny's jumper. It was only when night fell Don made his move hearing the tears fall and the mumbling he stood and watched as she cried…
He never managed to let it out but that night he did and the 2 of them sat there, let it out whatever they had bottled up the tears the anger the emotions which wouldn't stay in.
It was by morning they turned the corner. Sat on the bed photo albums out, his arm round her shoulders. The tears were out and for the first time they could smile as they rekindled old memories, even pick at small piece of toast… it wasn't much but it meant a lot. And in Don's heart it was what Danny wanted and for the babies sake more than hers.
They took each day as it came, the small things making the difference. He accompanied her to the baby scan, scared of the feelings the first without Danny, she held herself well, took the doctors worries and promised him she had all the help she needed. And she did, the group made visits they talked about everything and anything trying to get back to some form of normality, however hard it seemed.
The days turned into weeks and things started to get better, the full smile wasn't back but the feeling of sadness had lifted. They had both taken note of the night they let it all out, things were never going to be the same but they were both now sure it would get better.
Flack stayed with Lindsay, he knew she wasn't yet ready to be alone even if they had made that step he would still hear the tears fall in the night the pregnancy reminding her it was all to real. They created a routine, he returned to work knowing it's what he needed, his way of getting back on track. Lindsay returned one day a time, knowing that to get through this she needed to get back to normality or what she could now consider normal.
They talked about everything, there days at work, the perps who drove him mad. He hated to admit the feelings that were growing, it would never be the right time but Danny made him promise that day to look after her make sure she got the best and the baby did to. And he was going to do that.
She stood by the pool table cue in one hand she had a blank expression neither sadness or happiness it was like there wasn't a dark cloud but a silver lining one which may actually shine.
"If he was here right know I bet he'd be saying you couldn't do it"
"No I bet he'd be telling you I'd pot it"
"As if"
"Watch and learn" She grinned a hint of the old Lindsay shining through.
She quietly potted the black. Smiling to herself knowing Danny would never go away he was always there.
"You know he's still here" she points to her head "The simple things bring it back, the sarcastic comments the supposedly witty one liners, the overuse of the word Montana, he's still here and he won't go away… its pretty special you know we all know he's here, you do. I bet when you watch a game you hear in your head him shouting at the ref, I do. I hear him talking to me as I process a scene telling me to look behind the lines; its how it works… they never leave you"
Flack smiled, truth be told he heard his voice in his head he thought it was only him. He was glad it wasn't and he was quiet positive everyone else felt the same.
He lives in you
He lives in me
He watches over
Everything we see