A/N: this takes place following the sixth season episode 'Metamorphosis'. My take on what could have happened afterwards...
Colonel Jack O'Neill looked happily at the concrete walls of the SGC. It was very good to be home. Jonas and Teal'c walked down the ramp in front of them, their body language indicating their relief at also being back on their favourite terrestrial body, Earth. Okay, his favourite terrestrial body--them being aliens and all. Glancing sideways, Jack looked concerned to his second in command, Major Samantha Carter. Despite the tired smile she wore and the fact that she had insisted on walking unassisted, his keen eyes did not miss her too pale features and lack of lustre to her normally vibrant blue eyes.
Sensing his gaze on her, as they continued down the ramp, she spoke softly. "I am fine Colonel," she reinforced, the blue puddle of the wormhole dissipating behind them. General Hammond's voice filled the embarkation room, welcoming them back. Jack did not reply, merely giving her a knowing look. Carter ignored his gaze, looking to the General as he walked up to the base of the ramp. Teal'c and Jonas were already bringing him up to date on their mission.
"Colonel O'Neill, do we need to be worried about this ancient machine?" the General's southern accent punctuated his speech. The older man's features were worried, appraising each member of team. Jack watched as his gaze did another assessment of Carter then silently looked to him. He saw it too. Their normally chipper Major was not quite herself, obviously evident to him as well.
"Motown..."
"Woden," Jonas corrected causing Jack to glare at him.
"Woden," Jack began again, "assured us that once they finish helping their people, the machine will be destroyed. I think we can trust them on that one General," O'Neill indicated, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, his hands resting on the butt of his P-90. Woden's people were more than happy to get rid of the machine that had been used to terrorize them. Hammond nodded his head and then turned his line of questioning to the Major.
"Major Carter, do we have any idea of what that machine might originally have been used for?"He asked, watching as the Major's blank stare then focused on him. Her blue eyes were dull and he could see the fatigue in her pale face.
"No sir. We know the Ancients were into a variety of genetic research but without having done more than a cursory search of the machine, I cannot draw any conclusions," Carter replied. She swallowed as her memories drew her back to her time spent in the machine. Watching helplessly as Nirriti played with her genetic makeup as if it were play dough. The white-hot pain that had shot through her body, every nerve cell protesting to the microscopic changes she was attempting.
"Major Carter?" Hammond's concerned voice interrupted her memories. She looked up to see four worried faces staring back at her. Teal'c's was more of a worried frown line but it was there. She smiled sheepishly.
"Sir?" she asked apologetically, doing her best to hide the sudden wave of nausea that was rearing its ugly head. A halo of light had also started to wash into her vision, the edges of the gate room waving slightly.
"Major, I asked if you thought it was worth trying to have further negotiations with these people, attempt to change their mind?" the General asked again. Sam shook her head slowly, regretting it as bile rose into her throat.
"No sir. It would take years to be able to understand how that machine works. Experimentation could lead to deformities such as the people on the planet experienced. I don't think we should take the chance sir," she stated forcefully. Hammond nodded his head, in apparent agreement.
"Alright Major," he answered and then turned his attention to the Colonel. "Colonel O'Neill, report to the infirmary. We will debrief after your team has had a chance to rest," he indicated, making eye contact with everyone that this was not negotiable.
A chorus of 'yes sirs' followed. They were all tired; it had been a trying couple of days. Despite the fact that they had returned safely, they had lost another colleague. Lieutenant Colonel Ivanov's unfortunate fate had been etched permanently into all their memories. It also served as a reminder of what had almost happened to Carter.
"Dismissed," he ordered, leaving SG-1 standing in the gate room. Everyone watched as the General left, their gazes shifting to each other. Everyone then looked too O'Neill expectantly.
"Alright campers, you heard the General," he indicated to the exit, watching as Carter took some shaky steps. Jack held his hand protectively just shy of her shoulders; she looked ready to pass out at any moment. "The sooner the better, Carter you don't look so hot," O'Neill stated lightly, Carter aware enough to send him an annoyed glare.
"I agree Major Carter, you do not look well," Teal'c chimed in, his deep voice conveying his concern. A frown appeared on her forehead as she attempted to reassure her teammates. Sam hoped they did not notice the sweat that was now beading on her forehead, her blonde hair damp from her perspiration. Taking a steadying breath, she eyed the Colonel, Teal'c and Jonas.
"I am fine," Carter stated forcefully, her body betraying her and stumbling as they walked into the hallway. Jack's hand was instantly on one arm, Teal'c's large hand on the other. "I am just a little woozy is all. Give a girl a break, I only had my genes diced, spliced and put back together today. I think am aloud to feel a little off," Carter tried weakly to defend herself, trying to shrug off the offending arms. Despite her efforts, their hands remained.
"We will see what ole Doc Fraiser says," O'Neill stated.
Doctor Janet Fraiser had heard the klaxon call indicating that a team had returned off world. Janet knew that SG-1 had contacted the SGC earlier and were due back; their mission to P4C367 had been a source of worry since they had left. General Hammond had updated her, stating that Major Carter and Jonas Quinn had spent time in the splicing machine. Although the alterations had been reversed by the residents there, Janet was still worried about after effects. The genetic manipulation that Nirriti had been performing on the planet's people had been severe, the Goa'uld not concerned about the effect it had on the subjects or how it affected their lifespan.
The small brunette doctor was readying a tray of instruments for regular post mission exams as she awaited SGC's flagship team to enter into her domain. She briefly thought about the fact that Nirriti was dead, a small wave of triumph startling her. Janet was not normally happy about a Goa'uld's demise but Nirriti had tried to kill her daughter. There was a small pang of guilt over the fact that these people had been experimented on because they had let Nirriti go but Janet knew she would have it no other way, the life of Cassandra her most precious gift.
Colonel O'Neill's concerned voice drifted down the hall to her, indicating the team was on their way. Looking up, Janet watched as Teal'c and O'Neill entered into the infirmary with a very drowsy Carter held between them. The Doctor looked to the Colonel, looking for an explanation as the two men helped Carter sit on the closest bed.
"Colonel, what's going on?" Janet asked worriedly, as Carter took the opportunity to lie heavily back on the bed. She stepped up to the Major, her fingers finding her pulse almost immediately. The steady thrum was a little elevated but relatively normal. Janet did a quick visual exam, noting Sam's closed eyes and her clenched fists. Before Jack could reply, Carter spoke up.
"Janet I am fine," Sam's voice was soft spoken, her tone not convincing Janet in the slightest. The Doctor's raised eyebrow greeted Carter as she opened her eyes slowly, squinting against the harsh infirmary lighting. Janet noted her pupils were slightly dilated, lending to her photosensitivity.
"No offense Sam, but you don't exactly scream fine to me," the petite Doctor replied sternly. Turning to the rest of the team that was hovering at the end of the bed, Janet gave them a stern look. "Colonel when did this start?" she asked, keeping part of her attention attuned to Sam who was content to lie prone on the bed for the moment. The fact that Sam was not fighting tooth and nail to prove she was okay was a major red flag for Janet.
"Ever since they returned her to normal she has been shaky but just before we entered the stargate, she seemed paler and drowsy," O'Neill explained, sparing a look at Sam who gave no indication she was following the conversation.
"I agree O'Neill. Major Carter's condition deteriorated just prior to leaving the planet," Teal'c added. Janet nodded and then turned to Jonas.
"Are you feeling any after affects?" she asked, Jonas shaking his head slowly.
"I have felt fine but I did not have any of the symptoms Major Carter had," Jonas replied, his thoughts returning to the unpleasant drowning death that eventually followed being in the machine.
"Okay, I need to examine Sam. You three will receive your post mission physicals from Doctor Kent," Janet explained, watching as the three male members of SG-1 reluctantly left Sam's bedside. Janet pulled the curtain around the bed, silently praying that her friend would be okay.
"Sam?" Janet called softly, dimming the lighting slightly around the bed. With no response, Janet squeezed her arm and called her name again. "Sam?"
Carter opened her eyes slowly, looking up to her friend. "Janet?" she stated slowly. "I am tired," she indicated, closing her eyes slowly once more.
"That I can see," Janet stated with a small worried smile. She prodded her friend awake once more, "Sam do you feel okay besides being tired?" Silence followed for a few moments. Sam's eyes then popped open again, searching out Janet.
"Everything is spinning a little, I feel nauseous. I feel really weak and I am working really hard at keeping my eyes open," Sam stated with a small smile. Her eye lids at half-mast over her blue eyes. "Do you think my body is just reacting to being fixed, that it is just recovering from what Nirriti did?" she hypothesized. Janet smiled whole-heartedly this time; Sam was always a scientist- even when she could barely stay awake.
"It's a good possibility." Janet surmised, "I am not taking any chances. I am going to do a physical exam, blood work and start an IV because you're dehydrated," she explained, watching as Sam nodded her head slowly. "We will go from there."
"S'okay," Sam mumbled, giving her consent.
Janet nodded, watching as Sam finally succumbed to her body's request for sleep. Her breathing pattern was becoming regular and slow, her chest rising and falling quietly. Beginning her task, Janet thought hopefully Sam's hypothesis was correct.
It was the quiet rush of filtered air that informed Sam she was home. The filtering system for the mountain was always present in the background, its low thrum providing the base with fresh recycled air. The air was tinged with antiseptic and the continual beat of a monitor placed her in the infirmary. Working through the haze that blanketed her mind, Sam determined that the last memory she could recall had placed her on the planet. That left her with the obvious question, how had she ended up in the infirmary?
Sam recalled being put in the machine once more, Haegar repairing the alterations Nirriti had done. It had been not nearly as painful as when Nirriti had manipulated her DNA initially. It was an unpleasant memory that Sam wished in her incapacitated state would have remained inaccessible.
Although her senses were processing her environment, Sam found she was still unable to wake herself up. Her mind remained foggy and she was unable to navigate her way to consciousness. Despite her best efforts, Sam was stuck in limbo with her body refusing to submit to her thoughts.
The quiet around her was broken when footsteps approached her. Sam could pick out the distinctive footfalls of Janet, her pace quick and her steps heavy despite her petite frame. Her steps filled the air, breaking the stillness and came to an abrupt halt at her bedside. There was rustling of papers as Sam imagined Janet going over her chart, checking blood work or some other test results. A long sigh then met her ears, indicating to Sam that whatever was wrong apparently was not going well.
"Well, Sam," Janet's voice began slowly, "As of right now, I'm not quite sure what is going on. Your blood work results are fine, other than an electrolyte imbalance. Your scans have all been good. Why you are unconscious and unresponsive is a mystery for the moment," Janet explained, as if Sam had asked the question herself. As if she was not laying uselessly in front of her. Another sigh followed her explanation. "I can only assume that this is an after affect to whatever Nirriti did to you in that machine," she continued quietly.
"You have everyone worried here," Janet added, Sam able to notice her friend's anxiety. Sam knew it was related to not being able to find a diagnosis. That was Janet's job and when she was unable to do it successfully, it ate at her. Janet was a good doctor though; she worked hard at it until she found something—anything that worked. There were many times in the SGC when medical staff ran into problems that had not been diagnosed before. Janet enjoyed the challenge, but Sam knew when it involved your close friends, it became hard to separate emotions.
Sam felt a pang of guilt building up in her stomach. She hated being the cause of worry for other people. Sam had always been strong and independent. Sam was used to be there for others, not the one who needed help. A cool hand clasped hers, a gentle squeeze following. Janet's hand remained resting on her own for a few moments.
"I know you are in there. And I know you are fighting, just fight a little harder so you can come back to us," Janet stated after a few minutes of silence. "The Colonel is getting really cranky, you know how he is whenever something happens to his team—especially you Sam. I had to order him to his quarters for sleep," Janet indicated, a small laugh escaping.
Sam tried hard to squeeze Janet's hand back in return. She tried with all the energy she could muster but it accomplished nothing but push her further back into the haze. Janet's voice began drifting off as Sam felt herself being pulled into blackness. She knew that awareness was leaving her. Janet's hand squeezed hers again, her cool touch barely registering.
"Keep fighting," Janet stated again, as if knowing that Sam needed to hear those words once again. Sam thought the words over and over, hoping that repeating them would make them true. Unfortunately, the harder she tried to think them, the more she forgot them. Sam found the words foreign in her brain, confusion setting in. Finally, after several moments, blackness greeted her and Sam welcomed it openly.
Consciousness returned slowly. The nerve endings in her body gradually began processing information again, letting her know that she remained in the infirmary. She could feel the rough starched sheets against her skin and the heavy weight of the flannel blanket on top of her. Sam could also feel the various medical instruments attached to her body, the monitor beeping blearily in the background. After several moments, her senses began sending her information on more than just her periphery. It was obvious that another person was in her vicinity. Sam tried hard to break free of the mental haze that stopped her from waking up but it would not budge. The harder she tried; the more the blackness o f unconsciousness began to greet her.
Resigning herself to the fact that for the moment, she was a spectator only, Sam attempted to determine who remained at her bedside. Truthfully, she was pretty sure she knew the answer. With no perception of time, Sam had no ability to know how long she had been unconscious. Just from past behaviour, Sam knew that the Colonel perched at the bedside of sick teammates much to the chagrin of the medical staff. As if confirming her thoughts, his deep voice drifted to her ears.
"You know Carter; this whole situation is a little run of the mill. You have already done the whole living like a vegetable gag. Major Samantha Carter does nothing ordinary, so do the extraordinary and wake up anytime now," his voice was thoughtful and Sam could tell he was talking to the floor by the slight muffling of his words. She then felt his strong hand take hers, squeezing it gently despite his gruffness.
The situation brought back recollections from when the Entity took over her body, the Colonel no doubt dealing with the same memory. If Sam was truthful, this situation had been repeated too many times already.
"Sam, I will just be very happy when you wake up." Sam felt him squeeze her hand once more, oncoming steps alerting to Janet heading their way. Jack's hand quickly left hers, Sam missing his touch almost immediately. The Doctor's footsteps grew louder until they stopped at her bedside.
"Doc." O'Neill greeted causally, the creaking of metal on concrete the likely result of the Colonel's chair leaning dangerously far back against the wall.
"Colonel," Janet returned. Her hand found Sam's wrist, feeling her pulse point. Her friend's hand remained on hers lightly, the contact helping draw Sam into their conversation. "I thought I told you to get some rest sir," she added, her tone terse. Sam surmised that Janet had been dropping that line frequently with the Colonel.
"I am resting...Janet," the Colonel replied coyly.
If Sam were awake, a large smile would have adorned her features. The Colonel tried so hard to outwit Janet, referring to her on first name basis on base—was an invitation for trouble. Wanting desperately to join in the conversation, to do anything, Sam attempted again to wake up. To her surprise, the haze gave way slowly. The fog peeling back in layers revealing a dim light. Trying to push through the haze, she felt herself slowly moving. The plane of existence that made up her unconscious self appeared to move past her as if on a treadmill.
"Colonel, may I remind you that as the Chief Medical Officer, I'm fully entitled to having you escorted to you quarters for a mandatory rest period," Janet answered icily. There was a long pause, the Colonel carefully thinking out his answer. Janet was fully prepared to have an Airman escort the Colonel out. Unlike the rest of SG-1 who had begrudgingly left, the Colonel had sat perched on his chair with no obvious intention of leaving his 2IC's bedside.
"Oh for crying out loud," the Colonel replied gruffly. "Doc, I just don't want Sam to be alone," he confessed, halting the Doctor's retort and forcing her to reconsider her response. Such openly honest admissions from the Colonel were few and far between. Unable to find fault with his line of thinking, Janet settled instead for assessing her friend's status once again. Despite her reassuring vital signs and lab work, Sam continued to remain unconscious. The two days since the team had returned from the planet had been filled with many tests, all returning normal results.
Janet again squeezed Sam's hand, hoping that her friend would take comfort in their presence even if she were comatose. Janet looked to the Colonel who sat staring at the Styrofoam cup balanced in his hands. About to offer words of reassurance, they were halted as she felt a slight twinge in Sam's fingers. Looking down to her friend's pale hand, Janet squeezed Sam's hand once more. A smile erupted on her face as Sam's fingers clasped her own, stronger this time.
"Colonel," the tone of her voice causing him to immediately raise his head. Jack looked to Janet whose face held a happy smile and then to Sam. Jack watched as Sam's fingers again clamped onto Janet's hand.
Both of them then looked to her face, Sam's previously flaccid features were now drawn up in a grimace. Her eyelids were fluttering slightly.
Jack quickly sat his chair down and came to stand close by her bed. "Carter," Jack called softly. Sam's eyelids popped open slowly at his voice, her blue eyes quickly searching her environment. She closed her eyes against the lighting in the infirmary for a moment before opening them again.
Sam looked blearily up to her two friends, their faces showing their relief at her awakening. She searched her surroundings, taking note of her position in the infirmary. Forcing a weak smile, Sam squeezed Janet's hand that remained wrapped around her own.
"Carter, good to have you back," O'Neill greeted with a large smile.
"Sir," her voice came out as a croak from lack of use. Sam licked her lips and swallowed, attempting to help bring back her voice.
"Easy Sam," Janet advised as she attempted to pull herself upright but decided against it when her vision blurred slightly.
"What happened?" Sam asked, looking expectantly to her superior.
"You became unconscious after we returned to the SGC from P4C367," O'Neill explained, "That was two days ago," he added, watching as her blue eyes alarmed at his comment. She gave him a questioning look and then turned to Janet.
"Why?" she asked, searching her friend's face for an answer. Janet shrugged her shoulders dejectedly.
"Truth is Sam we are not entirely sure. We're working under the hypothesis that this is an after effect from the manipulation your body underwent," Janet explained, pointing a finger at her friend. "In fact, you came up with that hypothesis, before you became unconscious," the Doctor smiled. Sam raised an eyebrow, obviously skeptical of that idea.
"Wait, what about Jonas? He was in the machine too..." she started anxiously.
"He's fine Carter. Not as much as a sneeze outta him," O'Neill reassured, causing Sam to nod her head in understanding.
"I am going to bring the General up to date. I will make Teal'c and Jonas aware you're awake," Janet stated, giving them both a smile before leaving them alone. There was silence between them until Janet's footsteps were no longer heard down the hall. Jack watched as Sam looked down at her hands, playing with the tape from the IV.
"So...,"Jack began, watching as her head rose at his voice, "How you feeling?" he asked, awaiting her response. Sam gave him a tired smile.
"Better now that I am awake sir," she replied, deciding not to tell him about the persistent sway in her vision—she hoped it was temporary. Silence again settled between them, neither quite sure what to say. Sam watched the Colonel, noting that he was starting to become uncomfortable no doubt for the same reasons as her. "Sir, I wanted to say thank you for saving my butt back there on the planet," Sam watched as O'Neill's dark eyes met hers. He gave her a genuine smile.
"No problem Carter. I know you would do the same for me," he brushed off her compliment, trying not to think about how close he had come to losing her again.
"Yes sir...I just...I thought I was going to die back there," Sam admitted, her blue eyes maintaining her gaze with him. It had not been pleasant, her body helplessly deteriorating to the point that organs began shutting down. Sam vaguely remembered it being so hard to breathe; her lungs had felt like they were submerged under water. Air getting into them in short, panting breaths.
"I would not let that happen Carter," O'Neill replied softly, Sam giving him a pointed glare.
"As much as I know you would try Colonel, some day there may be a point where that philosophy is not going to work," Sam returned, raising a blonde eyebrow, challenging him to try to argue logic with her. The Colonel's eyes then began studying the floor, Sam knowing that he was not happy with her comment.
"I know Carter," his voice stated simply. Sam nodded, knowing that law applied to her as well.
The reassuring sound of the heart monitor filled the silence, its steady rhythm a comforting reminder that things would be okay now. Sam sighed, thinking back to laying helplessly in her cell waiting for death to mercifully claim her. She had been to some extent aware of Teal'c and Jonas' presence but Sam had been focused on not vocalizing her discomfort. She had not wanted to leave her friends with those memories of her demise. When the Colonel had appeared before her, pulling her quickly into his arms she had thought she was dreaming.
"Colonel...,"she whispered softly, realizing he was real as she felt his body against hers. Carter could hear his heart beating quickly in his chest, could hear his breathing coming swiftly in an attempt to fuel his hurried pace. "Sir...,"she repeated after a few moments, trying to make sense of what was going on.
"It's okay Carter," O'Neill soothed in between breaths. She felt him adjust her weight in his arms as she heard booted feet on stone stairs.
"Teal'c, Jonas...,"she asked questioningly, trying to determine before she became unconscious if her friends were safe.
"They're behind us Carter," he replied, feeling her getting weaker by the second in his grasp. Deciding that the best way to keep her conscious was to keep her talking, Jack began riddling her with questions. "Update Major, how are you feeling?" O'Neill asked authoritively, playing on Carter's dutiful side to keep her talking.
Silence followed, Jack taking a moment from watching his step to scrutinize his charge. Carter's eyes were closed, her face covered in perspiration. Jack shook her hard, Sam's blue eyes jolting open.
"I asked you a question Major," he stated, re-focusing his attention again on following Woden through the maze of hallways.
"Sorry sir...I feel like crap...sir," Carter replied, trying to be humorous. It was a lifeline between them, no matter the situation.
"Nice to see you still have your sense of humour Carter," the Colonel replied, sighing with relief as he began to recognize the hallways that led to the machine. "Almost there Carter," he indicated, desperately hoping they were not too late.
"Sorry I never...never got to go fishing sir," Sam's voice was becoming spent; Jack could hear that she was beginning to give up. Beginning to welcome the end, knowing it would bring a halt to the pain she was feeling.
"Carter plenty of time for fishing, don't you give up on me Major, that's an order," Jack stated forcefully.
They entered into the room housing the gene-splicing machine, Haegar already staffing the control station. Without any prompting, O'Neill carefully walked up to the platform. He stood Carter on her feet, watching as she opened her eyes and searched his questioningly. Looking around the room, her eyes scanned the area before coming to rest on the deformed man now ready to operate the machine. Her foggy brain connected the clues, bringing her up to date on the plan.
"I need you to stand for me Major," he ordered, her legs shaking slightly as they took her weight. She remained leaning heavily against him. Jack watched as she took a steadying breath and then nodded her head that she was ready. She slowly removed her weight from his side, the Colonel keeping his hands ready in case she fell.
"I'm okay Colonel," she reassured, holding her hands out in a steadying fashion. Her CO nodded his head, giving her a reassuring look before retreating from the platform. "Go ahead," Carter stated, her voice not its usual timbre, looking at Haegar.
Carter this time had welcomed the blue field that enveloped her, hoping it would correct any wrongs Nirriti had induced.
"Carter?" the Colonel's voice broke her from the memories that had a hold on her.
O'Neill watched as the faraway look in her gaze disappeared, her blue eyes focusing on him.
"It was a close one sir," she admitted, feeling her strength beginning to return. The Colonel merely nodded his head, not wanting to be reminded any further about 'how close' they had been.
"Add it to the list," he replied lightly, giving her a crooked smile.
Sam nodded her head, sighing and resigning herself to the fact that the feelings they shared for each other would not be discussed. The fact that they had faced another life-threatening situation with their feelings still smouldering under the surface, unacknowledged. Another situation that should have caused them both to realize their feelings and discuss its effect on their lives. Instead, it was another opportunity to push it under the rug.
"So, Carter, I believe you expressed some desire to go fishing? How about this weekend?" Jack then asked, giving her a toothy smile. "No better place to recuperate then with Mother Nature. No Goa'uld's in sight," he added. Sam smiled, her immediate reply of no thanks dying on her lips. Clearing her throat, she decided it was time to change their pattern. What better place to discuss 'things' then when off-base, none of the reasons they ignored their feelings around to remind them.
"Sounds like a good idea Colonel." The surprise that filled the Colonel's features was almost priceless, a slight furrow to his brow appearing.
"Really?" he asked, not convinced she had accepted his offer, and that he had heard correctly.
"Really sir," she repeated his words, trying to keep her tone serious. Even in her weakened state, the urge to chuckle was over whelming, the shock still very much evident on his face. It was not very often that the Colonel was caught unawares.
"Okay then Carter," O'Neill stated, a smile spreading over his face as it sunk in that she wanted to go fishing with him.
An excited voice floated down the corridor through the infirmary, identifiable as Jonas. Teal'c and Hammond's sombre voices followed. It was obvious the rest of the team was on their way. The two friends gave each other a final knowing look; their peace together was broken for the moment.
"I'm looking forward to fishing Carter," Jack said quietly before the others had the chance to interrupt their conversation.
"Me too sir," she replied with a warm smile.