I can see him sitting there, watching me. His eyes pierce through my veins like ice, tingling through my spine. Yet- all in the same moment- warmth flashes through my head. It makes me dizzy. Only he can do this, and he knows it.
Everything he does… is nothing. All it takes is one simple glance. That alone can shatter my world into a million pieces of a beautiful disaster. Everything he does makes me wonder who I was before the passion. Everything he does makes me feel confused. Amazed. Happy. Crazy. Hurt.
I feel my heart as it turns to a bubble of still energy. It doesn't move, it doesn't feel. It just stays obediently, growing excitedly, in its place.
Keep hiding behind the mask. Keep saying you love her. Keep it up. I always knew it would end this way. We loved once. It made us happy. Does she make you happy? No. I already knew the answer when I asked. You say you want her; though that's not true. The mask you use to conceal your destined fate is nothing but a lie. I can see it in your eyes. It's not her you love. Though even if you don't, your mask will say you do. Because then, everyone is happy. She gets her fairytale ending. Your father will get the daughter he's always dreamed of. No more friends to contradict, to push, to influence what we feel. Because this way, even you are happy. You became happy when you made yourself a puppet; living to please everyone else.
Alas, I, will always wait for you. Though you will never come. I thought I'd never say this, but it is she who won.
Written for him.
RC