++Author's Note++ The poem is by yours truly and the song is "I Showed Her" by O-town. I do not own the lyrics or the characters from Glee. I own the poem, though. My first Pezberry story.
CHRISTMAS SHOWED THEM
The moment when everything you thought you understood, you really didn't have a clue. This short story will show two young women that battled each other in high school and then somehow became friends and almost lovers down the road, unfortunately, it was at a cost. You see, Rachel and Santana have a love/dislike relationship that spanned over different lifetimes, in different bodies and in different circumstances. Each life, they would end up together after years of fighting their undying attraction to one another. A story like this isn't super special, at least not to us but for these two souls, it means a lot.
The moments when you watch the person who is your twin flame be with other people is heart-shattering, don't get it wrong, one can survive your heart being shattered into pieces. It will just take the time to gather strength from it, I suppose. Right now, it is December 2016 and our two young women have a huge decision to make. Well, it is not that huge, but considering their situation, yes it is huge for them.
The leaves dance…
The trees wave…
The sand jumps…
The waves crash…
Christmas is around the corner, literally and Mr. Shue was tasked with hosting a Christmas Celebration on stage in New York. Lucky him, no one thought he would ever leave Lima, Ohio. Moving on…
He called all his original glee alumni together to sing holiday songs and dance, show the New Yorkers how Ohioans do it. Of course, everyone wanted a solo and somehow the man made it happen. But he wanted something unique, something special for the ending. He calls the two people who know what is going on with our two young starlets.
"Quinn, Kurt, thanks for stopping by. I know we are on a tight schedule but I really need to end the show with tears." Mr. Schue sips his peppermint hot chocolate while sitting at a table at a local diner in New York.
Quinn and Kurt glance at each other before looking directly at the man across from them.
"Mr. Schue, you want tears like happy tears?" Kurt seemed a bit confused.
"Yes. But I need it authentic and the two best people for that are…"
Quinn finishes his sentence, "Rachel and Santana."
Kurt smiles, "So we need to get the destined soul mates, together, dueting on stage, expressing themselves to one another! I am so in!"
Quinn inhales and then exhales, "That is going to be a little difficult. Since Santana moved out on her own, not to mention Brittany will be moving in with her as well, how do you think we could convince them to duet?"
"Look, we all see the way they look each other when we are together and I have heard some stories from the other glee club members-"
Kurt cuts him off, "Wait a minute, what stories?"
"It doesn't matter, their story needs to be told and Christmas is about celebrating family, friends, and love. I know that this is a lot to ask but they really need this. Consider this a Christmas present to them from all of us. They need to realize their pain and their love for one another.
Quinn leans back into her chair and sucks her teeth, "Fine, I'll handle Santana, you get Rachel." Kurt nods.
"We need a song, ooh I have one!"
"No, Kurt, hell no to whatever is popping around in your head. I have the perfect song, in fact, every time it comes up on my playlist I think of my two best friends who are so lost without each other. I got this." Quinn confidently says. Both Kurt and Mr. Schue nods in agreement. All three of them stand up and walk outside into the frigid cold.
"We have a deadline, guys. Can I count on you both?" Mr. Schue's breath hits the cold air. Both Kurt and Quinn nod.
As Mr. Schue walks away, Kurt laughs, "This is going to be interesting. Both of them are stubborn as fu-,"
"Don't even say it! We will handle this. We love them and hate seeing them separated because of something stupid." Quinn sighs and both began to walk towards the loft formulating a plan.
Isn't love weird? It happens at odd moments or predictable ones and we still don't understand it fully. I bet you are wondering why I called them Twin Flames in the beginning of the story and why Kurt said "soulmates." You see, this story has been told for centuries, different people, different circumstances, and different souls. Think of Cleopatra and Anthony, an epic love story but dangerous as well. Cleopatra and Marc Anthony knew their love would transcend whatever fate had in store for them. So they prayed to their Gods, Cleopatra prayed to the Egyptian Goddess of love Hathor and Anthony prayed to the Roman goddess, Venus. Both goddesses heard their plea to be forever intertwined and so Venus and Hathor came together just this once and granted their wishes. No matter what lifetime, what body and whatever circumstances they will be twin flames, a yin and a yang to each other. The difference between a soulmate and twin flames is; a mate can be defined as several things. It can be a marriage partner, a friend, a worker or counterpart. A soulmate is not limited to the realm of romance. A soulmate is a kindred spirit that can show up in any kind of relationship—romantic or not. And there is no limit to the number of soulmates you can have. But twin flames like Rachel and Santana they are something more. A twin flame is essentially the other half of your soul. When you are with a twin flame you feel complete. This person is a true mirror of yourself, which may prove to be challenging. Yet while the relationship may have its difficulties, there is an unconditional love and bond that sticks. A twin flame is like the ultimate soul mate. Although you can have many soulmates, you can only have one twin flame.
My great-grandmother would tell me that story as a little girl about twin flames, about Cleopatra and Marc Anthony, Lancelot and Guinevere, Tristan and Isolde, Paris and Helena and Santana and Rachel…
The Jaguar stalks…
The Eagle soars…
The Dolphin sings…
The Monkey leaps…
Rachel, Kurt, and Quinn are sitting down on the sofa in the loft, talking aimlessly when a few knocks interrupted their flow. Kurt quickly gets up and lets Santana in, Rachel breath hitches for a split second as she looks at Santana.
"Hi S." Quinn runs over and hugs her best friend. "So, traffic was okay?" Santana takes off her coat and kicks off her shoes at the door.
"Quinn, stop making small talk, that ain't working right now. So, what am I doing here?" She crosses her arms while still standing by the front door. Kurt gently nudges her towards the sofa to sit down across from Quinn and Rachel.
"I'll grab drinks. We will be here for a while." Kurt escapes to the kitchen while keeping an eye on both Santana and Rachel's body language.
"Santana," Rachel says blandly.
Santana raises an eyebrow. "Rachel. So what does Mr. Schue want for us four to do that is so special for the ending of the show?" She eyes Quinn not even blinking. Quinn rolls her eyes.
"Look, he wants an epic duet and he needs you and Rachel to perform it." Rachel's mouth opens and then closes as if the words escaped into the ether. Santana stands up, furious.
"Hold the hell up. That-that isn't going to happen!" Santana paces back and forth. Rachel is still sitting in shock.
Kurt comes over and sits down four glasses of red wine. Quinn quickly picks up a glass and drinks half of it.
"Why not, Satan? You both have lovely voices separately and together. Your duets proved quite strong throughout Glee and after Glee. Plus…"
Quinn eyes Kurt and shakes her head. Rachel knocks out of her reverie.
"Plus what, Kurt? Like what are you guys not telling us?" Rachel dares to look at Santana, but she couldn't help it. She is more beautiful than ever.
Santana shifts uncomfortably under Rachel's gaze but still locks eyes with her. God, she misses those deep chocolate orbs.
"Yes, porcelain, plus….what?!" Santana yells.
Quinn gulps the rest of the Merlot in her glass, "Look, let's not pretend you both are not in love with one another. Let's also not pretend you both don't give a damn about one another." Quinn is now standing with her hands on her hips. Rachel grabs her full glass of red vegan wine and downs it.
Quinn continues, "Even Mr. Schue believes that you two are missing out on this opportunity with each other over something so trivial! We can't stand it. You both may be in other relationships but how is it fair to be with them if you are so fucking in love with one another? You're both hurting and Mr. Schue thought that maybe you both doing a duet together for Christmas, something that is meaningful of love that you both lost and gained with each other. We are a family and with what is going on with you two-" she chokes on her words, holding back tears.
Kurt finishes, "Our family is broken." Rachel's eyes well up and Santana being Santana just refused to show any emotion on this matter.
"Don't tell me how I feel." Santana begins to put on her shoes and gather her belongings. Rachel stands up and walks over to her.
"Santana, please, let's think this over. They are our friends, our family they know-" Santana cuts her off.
"What? They know best? They know nothing of how I feel. I'm not doing it. Find Finnept, Brody or Cassie. You've done duets with them." With that, she leaves and slams the door behind her.
"Yes, but I choose you." Rachel whispers.
As difficult to admit one's feelings it is even more difficult to live without the person you barely can breathe without. But coupled with being angry at the world and more angry at yourself, you're blocked, you're frozen and you are desperately trying to escape…
The Clouds take shape…
The Rain falls heavily…
The Snow sticks…
The Sun beams…
"Santana hasn't answered my calls in over two weeks, we will have to tell Mr. Schue we failed." Quinn huffs.
"Rachel is kind of stoic but she is happy about the concert we are putting together so she is doing what Rachel does best, sing her heart out. Damn you, Satan." Kurt angrily says as both Quinn and Kurt are sitting overlooking the stage where fellow Glee members are setting up.
"Why are you damning Satan, Kurt?" A perplexed Mr. Schue sits down next to him. Kurt's eyes' go wide and he begins to speak but a voice behind them resonates.
"Because I am late for rehearsal." Santana drops her belongings in the seat and begins to walk up on stage. Quinn and Kurt quickly get up and runs up towards the Latina.
"S, where have you been?! I can kill you." Quinn hisses. Santana laughs.
"Who would sing in place of me if you kill me?" Santana smirks crosses her arms.
"She has a point," Kurt hands her the sheet music. "This is the song Quinn picked out." Santana skims over it as her face goes red and eyes Quinn.
"Quinnifer, I need to speak with you privately." Santana storms behind the curtains.
"Grab Rachel while I deal with Santana. " She quickly walks off towards Santana. Kurt shrugs his shoulders while he goes to look for the pint-size diva.
"Quinn, seriously, this song?" Santana sighs and paces back and forth.
"Why not? It is the song you say you see with Rachel, it certainly expresses the shit you both are feeling." Quinn smiles. "Look, this is it. You have to get her before it is too late. I am curious, what made you come?"
Flashback: The night Santana stormed out of the loft.
Santana's POV
I can't stand this anymore, my whole body hurts just by not being near her. I want to melt into her so badly, just touch her again. But, I can't. Brittany loves me and she is what I know. What I am used to, what is guaranteed.
I arrive at my new apartment and there she was sitting on the sofa, wrapping presents. Brittany will always be love for me. I just…with Rachel it is so much more, almost dangerous and fucking exhilarating. What am I doing?"
"S, what are you doing?" Brittany asks confusedly. I am just standing there in the doorway ranting to myself, albeit in my head.
"Nothing, just thinking." I take off my coat and shoes and sit down next to her. I won't forget her, I'll always love Brittany.
"About Rachel?" I blink rapidly as to adjust to what she asked. I-I don't know what to say.
She continues, "You've been talking to me in your sleep, well I think you're talking to me. Anyways, you say Rachel's name a lot. At first, I was mad at you but then when we all were rehearsing for the group number for the concert and the way she looked at you and the way you avoided her. When you avoid, S, that is a sign of you having feelings for someone. I should know." She laughs gently. I begin to cry and she holds me, rocking me back and forth. What is happening?
"Santana, tell her. Do the duet with her." I pull away at her request.
"How did you know about the duet?" I asked curiously.
"I'm psychic, Silly." She laughs adorably.
"Quinn?"
She sighs, "Quinn. Look, I love you and I need you to be happy. Yes, you are happy with me but you really aren't 100% happy."
I looked away and hated she was right. "What do I do?"
"Sing with her."
End of Flashback
Quinn smiles wildly, "I love Brit, she is the smartest one out of us all." Santana nods and smiles.
"You do know, tomorrow night is the big performance and you and Rachel have a lot of practicing." Quinn snipes.
"We'll be fine. Have you heard our duets?" Rachel chimes in giving that 100-watt smile she throws casually from time to time. Santana slightly blushes.
"Yeah, Q, leave us be, would ya?" Santana smirks and Quinn takes the hint and scurries off.
Santana walks up to Rachel. "So.."
Rachel closes the gap between them. "So." Both eyes are staring deep into each other, their bodies are buzzing with familiarity and an unknown feeling. They want to touch but are afraid that this is all an illusion.
"Honestly, this between us won't convey to the audience clearly if we practice too much. If you hear the song play in your head, it is as if we are telling our separate point of views of the situation. Of our feelings." Santana explains. Rachel smiles because Rachel knows Santana is right.
"Okay. Let's practice it once and then bring our "A" game tomorrow night." Rachel agrees.
This story always gets to me every holiday season because it is so raw. The next part is so inspiring and so intense that I can feel the pain radiating from both of them. And I can feel the intense love that surrounds their hearts.
Flowers express themselves…
Seasons change…
The Moon glistens…
The Earth rotates…
Mr. Schue and the rest of the Glee members all huddled together.
"You guys are so damn fantastic, the crowd is loving every minute of it. Thank you all. But this part of the speech is for Santana and Rachel," he turns to face them. "Family, friends and love are so important and so cherished that sometimes we forget without the people in our lives we go on aimlessly with no one to share it with. I believe you two have a thing or two to show us and the audience on what is like to miss out and gain love. Show them."
Everyone cheers and Rachel walks to the far left of the stage and Santana stands behind the curtain to the far right. A soft melody begins to play on a grand piano as Rachel walks onto the stage as her soft white and red dress shimmer.
She sings…
It's catching up to me right now
Everything that I said
The night I left her there
When I said I wanted out
I was angry and upset
And at the time I couldn't care less
About staying there
I had to prove I didn't care
As much as she thought I did
** A screen behind Rachel shows Santana in high school, laughing in her cheerios outfit. It shows her and Brittany together sharing loving looks to each other.**
I showed her
I let my pride take me far away
From the only woman I love
I showed her
And now she has found someone new
And her life will go on
And I'm all alone but
I showed her oh-oh-oh
** Santana enters the stage on cue gracefully in her red dress with white designs throughout.**
She sings to the audience…
I hear that she's in love
But it took a while for her
To get over the hurt
Now I know that I messed up
I was trying to give us time
But I see she took that time to find somebody else
What happened to the things she felt
For me, am I really part of her past?
**The screen behind both of them shows Rachel and Finn together, kissing and singing together.**
*Santana looks directly at Rachel walking closer to her*
I showed her
I let my pride take me far away
From the only woman I love
I showed her
And now she has found someone new
And her life will go on
And I'm all alone but...
I showed her
*Both singing together, staring into each other's eyes*
woah oh oh's (harmonizing for 10 seconds)
** The screen shows Rachel and Santana interaction throughout high school and their duets together as well as after high school.**
Rachel's Verse(facing the audience)
I showed her
I let my pride take me far away
From the only woman I love
I showed her
And now she has found someone new
And her life will go on
And I'm all alone but
(looking at Santana) I showed her
**Santana with tears in her eyes**
Santana's Verse(while holding onto Rachel's hand)
I showed her
And now she has found someone new
And her life will go on
And I'm all alone but
I showed her whoa I showed her
I showed her.
**The screen illuminates with Rachel and Santana on stage looking deeply at one another smiling**
The song ends and both girls turn to the audience and bow before looking at one another intensely as the light dims on them. The audience roars and stands up clapping. Rachel grabs Santana's hand in the dark and leads her behind the stage and then outside as the snow falls gracefully on top of their heads.
"Rachel, what are we doing out here?" Santana wraps her arms around herself.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Rachel looks up at the snow falling.
Santana smiles and looks around. "It is. The first snowfall in New York this year." Rachel walks up to Santana and grabs her hands.
"I wanted to share it with you and only you. Santana Lopez, you are so infuriating at times, stubborn and a pain in my butt. But…" Rachel looks away, holding back her tears.
"But…" Santana whispers.
"But I fucking love you." Rachel blurts out. Santana was shocked at both the outburst and the language Rachel Berry spilled from her lips. "I love you, Santana Lopez. I hurt when I am near you but I hurt even worse when I am away from you. I know that doesn't make sense but it's like you're the yin to my yang and…" Rachel trails off, feeling embarrassed.
Santana continues, "And..it's like I've known you all my life. I ache for you, Rachel. I love you so much." Rachel cups Santana's cheeks and leans in to grace her lips on the warm-blooded Latina's lips. They kiss slowly for a few minutes and it intensifies as moans escape their throats.
"God, get a room!" Quinn yells as she throws snowballs at the girls. The girls break apart squealing and grabbing snow to throw at their best friend. Kurt and the rest of the Glee members join in, being merry and happy. Their family was dysfunctional but it was their family and the love between them all resonated.
I know, a little sappy but my grandmother up until her death would tell me this story and now I am telling you to pass it along.
"Mom, did great-grandmom Rachel tell you this?"
No, it was great-grandma Santana. Here is a picture of both my grandparents happy sitting on the sofa still gazing into one another's eyes even at sixty years old.
"Twin Flames dancing together, right mom?" Of course, baby. They will find each other again. They always do. Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
Silence engulfs…
Noise radiated…
Love fulfills…
Flames dance…