Journey
I actually started writing this just 3 days ago, I just heard the news about the dear lady Aretha Franklin and had to take time out of my holiday to share this tribute
RIP
I'm stuck in that place where Mercy Jones does her first audtion with Aretha Franklin's 'Respect' and Sam Evans first presented us with his singing skills doing that Bruno Mars & Travis McCoy hit 'Billionaire'
With that in mind we're going on a journey, so sit back, read on and enjoy the ride home
Mercy
Mercy was finally coming back home, she'd just finished her extenton classes made even longer by the opportunity of a life time to be one of the leading lady's in a musical drama centred around motown, that was right up her street.
She'd left things in Lima up in the air, there were a lot of things that hadn't been said, feelings that hadn't been touched on like; love, hate, losing out, timing, sacrifice. There was too much going on in her life to entertain it, she coudn't focus on anyone but herself back then, she'd been a bitch about it there was no other way to deal with it
Now all that drama was over classes had been passed and after nearly three solid years of acting the same role she felt like she was actually diappearing into her sudo-ego, she was tipping over the edge and after much contemplation she decided she needed to get out. It had taken nearly six months after that decision but she'd finally done it handed in her notice to leave the show, and a month later amid tears, laughter her last repraise of Aretha Franklin's 'Respect' along with alcohol, and with no idea what she was going ot do next, she made the break, she needed to get some focus, and to do that she needed to go back to her roots
As the car set about making that journey home, the things she'd left behind came flooding back she sat in the back of the car in silence, the music that was vibrating loudly in the seat dulling as her mind dared to relive the past events.
There were harsh things that had been said to some very dear freinds and now she wondered how she was going to deal with all that, she shook her head "Never gonna happen" she told herself they'd moved away years ago, if their dreams were anythig to go by, she smiled as she sunk back into her thoughts
Flashback
She giggled as she remembered going full on crazy at Sam when she walked into the kitchen, which he had no business being in, to see him dipping his finger in her cooking pot, he'd burn't himself no doubt but that really wasn't what she was focused on just then
"What the hell is your finger doing in my damn pot?" I yelled watching him spin round so fast he'd fogetten to suck the hot juice off his finger
"I was just watching ..." he shook his finger trying to stop the burn
"Watching it my foot, you were stealing my damn dinner"
"No seriously, I heard it flash out the pan onto the cooker and i just came to check it, I was..."
"Eating as much as you could before I came back in the damn kitchen?" I asked
"No, if you'd just let me get a word in ..." he stopped at my eyes rolling at him
"You are so damn sad and always so freaking sorry, what for this time, that you didn't ask before dipping your nasty finger in my food?"
"Will you let me speak?"
"No not really, just get the hell out of my kitchen, who let you in anyway?" I looked round the kitchen asking
"I came to see Blaine, he's getting dressed" he hissed back "Not that it's any of your damn business"
"You spend more time here than you do with your new girlfriend" I snapped hard back at him
"And that's your business because?"
"You're standing in my kitchen stealing the food out my pot" I tilted her head at him wondering if he was in the same sinaerio as me
"Look Mercedes, I get that we started off on the wrong foot, I get that I dissed you back then and I've said sorry nearly every damn day since, can we just be civil?"
"I dont want to be anything with you Sam Evans"
"Our best friends are together, we're going to see each other"
"Not if I see you first Evans"
"You're so fucking childish" he hissed at her
"I'm childish and you're a damn thief, and how fucking dare you swear at me" my hands rolled into fists and rested on my hips I was conscious that my bag had fell off my shoulder
"I didn't actually swear at you, you'd know if I did" he stepped towards me saying
"You're a whore Evan's, you use women and I refuse to be associated with someone like you"
"Fine" he held his hands up at me saying, I could have laughed "Have it your way, I'll keep out your fucking way"
"He gets it" I hissed cutting her eye at him as he walked past me and out the kitchen
"And I hope you can still taste the burn in your rancid food" he flung back at me just before the door slammed shut
"I'm guessing I'll definitely be tasting your nasty rancid damn fingers" I yelled back at him
"What's going on?" I heard Blaine ask him, I smiled walking over to my pot "You will rue the damn day you call my hair nappy Evans"
End of Flashback
"Rue the damn day" she looked out the window smiling recognising the shops, watching familiar people and hearing familiar sounds for a while, wondering if she'd actually done the right thing. The very first lesson at college her tutor had told them, with a bit of a laugh, 'if it's not floating your boat get out of it, and apply that to your entire life' she'd taken those words with her through life so far and seriously she was becoming her character, she needed out "No regrets" she shivered in her seat, wondering how her life could have all been so different if she'd have chosen another path "How far away is it?" she asked Vennrick
"About another 32 hours" he smiled watching her roll her eyes "You could get the plane" he told her
"No I need the think time" she smiled
"32 hours it is then"
"I'll let you know when I need a stop" she told him, drawing the curtains to get some privacy, fallling back in the seat trying to relax, she needed to forget the past she had a future to plan. The first thing she was going to do was sleep, her favourtie thing, any second she got to get forty winks in she took it, and this road trip was the perfect opportunity to revitalise the soul
She looked out at the night falling, she'd have just finished her last rehearsal and be thinking about getting ready for the night's performance just about now, stuffing her lunch and dinner down as she sat getting made up, smiling at the fact that just now she was sitting here doing nothing with aboslutely nothing to look forward to, it was a funny but warm feeling. She finally closed her eyes, after walking through the goings on back at the theatre for the evening to find some well needed sleep, there'd be no alcohol induced sleep tonight she was falling asleep on happy.
"What time is it ?" she stretched out of her sleep asking, looking around her environment trying to make out where she was "Vennrick" she called when everything came back to her, opening the curtains to see his face "Can we stop somewhere I need to freshen up?"
"Sure" he smiled at her through his mirror
Twenty minutes later they were parking up at some roadside gas station, Vennrick got out the car and came back with a key for her to use the bathroom "Thanks" she smiled grabbing his hand as he assisted her out of the car. She made her way over to the bathroom and opened the door to find a very pink room she laughed remembering her blow out with Kurt just after she made the decision to move him into her flat, they'd only been sharing for six months
Flashback
"Kurt what the hell?" I walked into the very pink living space asking "What the hell have you done?"
"Decorated" he told me, he was so smug
"This isn't decorating it's slapping some spare paint on the fucking walls, badly" I screached
"Mercedes" he stood stunned at her reaction "It's not left over in fact Blaine, Sam and I chose it"
"The clueless fucking trio" I rolled my eyes so extra at him "I've always said, if it's anything a man would do, run it by me" I stood looking at him waiting for a response "I let you guys move in because you had taste or so I thought" I hissed "Take it down" I ordered as Kurt stood open mouthed
"We all live here" he told me throwing the brush in the tray mad
"Well I'm sorry I can't live in this, you'll have to get it down" my voice suddenly calmer he was upset
"What's up?" Blaine walked in, took one look at Kurt's upset face and asked
"Really?" I asked him looking around the half painted mess of a room
"You were just moaning the oher week saying it looked tired" Blaine walked towards Kurt telling me
"Tired not masculine"
"Mercy that's not fair" Blaine hugged Kurt telling me "And you're bullying"
"It's fair alright, I mean I could be standing here asking you guys to fucking move out"
"What?" Sam screached from the doorway
"I said none of your damn business" I yelled at him, I really hated the sight of this damn guy "Don't you have a girl somewhere to fuck?"
"That's none of your damn business" he replied rolling his eyes, I always went past drama queen on him, I knew he was beginning to regret the day he'd talked Blaine into returning Kurt's call
"You two need to learn to get on, I'm not splitting up wtih Kurt, this jealous thing you've got ..."
"Jealous?" I asked, I couldn't catch her breath at Blaine's take on this situation "Why the hell would I be jealous?"
"Ever since I've been with Kurt you've found anything and everything to argue about when everything else fails you pick on my friend and it's got to stop"
"What has to stop is that you guys need to start living as fucking lodgers and stop painting my fucking house while I'm out, and I might add, stop bringing your damn diseased friend up in my house sitting all over my damn furniture"
"Diseased?" Sam gasped "Where the fuck do you get off?" he walked up to me asking
"I didnt actually get on" I stared up at him, my head swinging from left to right I had so much attitude to give him, as he stood in front of me "Don't tell me everything's melting into one for you, just keep me out of your damn fantasies"
"I have never wanted to slap a female so much in all my life, you're just so fucking rude" he looked down at me saying his eyes deep green with anger or something
"And I've never wanted to kick, punch and slap a fucking man so much in mine" our eyes peicing into each other as they stood neither wanting to back down
"Okay" Blaine walked towards them I guess he saw that the stand off could get serious "Back down Sam" he pulled his sleeve telling him
"Yeah back the fuck down Sam" I hissed jeeringly in his face, Sam stood with his lips thin and face red, I knew he was wondering how he was conrolling his hands right now, and however he was doing it he needed to carry on unless he wanted me to come out all fucking Blade on him
"Mercy" Kurt called making them all look in his direction "Could we talk?"
"Right after you guys get this disgusting pink paint off the damn walls" she walked off to her bedroom telling them "Oh and I'm not cooking tonight, but I'm hungry" she looked at Sam telling everyone
"Take no notice she's due her monthly cycle" Kurt told Blaine and Sam "Sam you going to cook while Blaine and I cover this up?"
"So what she comes through blasts us all and gets away with it and dinner's thrown in?" Sam asked his voice shocked that everything had more or less gone back to normal
"No but she blows and when she comes out she'll be fine again, you get to know her" Blaine smiled at him
"If you ask me she's on a constant fucking cycle, she's got to be the most irritating woman ever, she gets under my damn skin every time, no matter how prepared I am" Sam told them
"That's why she's my best friend, she's complicated" Kurt smiled "She'll probably choose pink in the end, watch this space" he laughed watching Blaine nodding his head knowingly
End of Flashback
"And I did" she laughed "That exct same pink to be precise" she smiled for the conversation the guys had about her when they thought she'd left the room. She looked up in the mirror as she washed her hands "All that was a lifetime ago" she told her not so older self, she could see she was tired, maybe more than she'd originally thought she was, all those nights at the theatre had taken a lot out of her. She scooped water in her hands and threw it over her face, tyring to get some of her youth back, frowning when the dark cicles under her eyes were still visible and her inside and ouside reflected the same feeling "Come on this is a good move" she told herself with a smile, which didn't work "Food" she put her hands under the dryer and stood watching them dry before she realised she hadn't really used the bathroom and went about the task, smiling at having learned to hold herself until the end of a scene "There are no scenes" she told herself suddenly feeling like she was actually acting this part of her life
"Everything alright Mercedes?" Vennrick asked when she walked back to the car
"Yeah fine" she looked around her environment "I'm hungry but I dont fancy anything around here"
"We'll be in Arizona in about twenty minutes"
"Yeah I could do with really stretching my feet, and I guess you need a rest"
"That would be good" Vennrick smiled as he shut the door behind her and got in to drive
Mercy sat watching the tree lined roads go by as the day broke out in the sky, shades of orange, blue and yellow forming in the horizon as the car sped towards it "You can have the day Venn, I'll find something to entertain myself" she looked at the road passing them by telling him
"I'll maybe take half a day" he looked in his rear view mirror telling her "We're on a timer remember"
"I really didn't want to get back for Church Venn, it's not me right now" she laughed "I need to do a whole heap of apologising and grovelling before my ass finds that doorstep"
"I can't even imagine you ever needing to do that, but whatever you say" he laughed
"There were a lot of people in that sleepy little town I didn't let love me"
"They love you Mercedes, no matter how difficult you made it, there's nothing about you not to love"
"I wish I had your faith" she smiled at him in his mirror, they drove in silence until they came to a stop outside the Fairfield Inn "This will do nicely" she looked up at the hotel as she waited for Vennrick to open her door "I might grab a few hours myself"
"How about you call me when you're ready"
"That's fine" she smiled I guess it's just as cheap to get a double suite, book us in" she smiled giving him her card
She walked into the hotel smiling, it brought back memories of her entering that theatre for the very first time, a naive, prudish 21 year old, that knew nothing about the world outside of Lima, who thought the world should revovlve around her and her damn mouth. She'd read in so many magazine's and watched so many talk shows were those that had made it had the rudest manners, and that was who she wanted to be, where she needed to be, she giggled as she remembered her first day at work
Flashback
"Mer-ce-des Jones" a tall blond headed man called my name with such an French accent I wondered if he was talking to me "Mer-ce-des Jones" he repeated
"Yes that's me" I raised my hand saying when I heard some familiarities to my name in there, in Lima I'd made sure she was the biggest thing since bread, never mind the sliced type but at that moment in that theatre I felt overpowered, there were people much older than me, faces I recognised from the screen, I sat looking around thinking these people were expecting me to give my all, my very best, I couldn't stand up right now and tell them that I didn't even know what that was at that point.
"Your playing Aretha?" he looked me up and down his face showing disbelief "I guess if they think you're up to it" he raised an eyebrow at me, I suddenly felt inferior stood there dressed in my usual casual jeans, crushed blouse and over jacket with my lucky tartan cap leaned across my banging blond and brown weave. Beyonce had just rocked that colour and I was going to be the next big thing since that woman, and while I was at it Mariah, Whitney and Diana could step aside too
"Yes I am" I smiled at the rather cold, ginger headed man
Just a little after that the cast got to talking, breaking the ice and just checking in with each other, there were three people for every major role in the place which meant there were three Aretha's one woman older and a like aged double with me, we were sat talking about their take on the life of Aretha and their vision for the part when a voice interrupted us "We're going to sing Aretha Franklin's 'Aint No Way' together" a shy looking girl about my age smiled right up in my face "Well actually not together I'm just doing the Cissy Houston part you know?"
"Yeah I Know it" I smiled "And that does mean we're going to be singing together"
"This is my first show and believe me when I say bricks are passing as we speak" she giggled warming my heart with her genuine smile "He seems so cold don't you think?" she looked back at Marty saying
"That was my word for him too, we must be right" the two of us stood laughing and just like that we clicked
End of Flashback
Mercy remembered Chantel with fondness, they'd spent three great years together dragged each other through some rough times and had plenty of laughs on the way, she was going to miss her of everything and everyone she'd left behind maybe her the most
"Check outs at midnight its room 220" Vennrick invaded her thoughts saying "Are you alright?" he asked when he saw the vacant look in her face
"Yeah, it's just sinking in that I left my job" she smiled
"Regrets?"
"I sort of promised myself there'd be none of that regret stuff"
"Here grab the key I'll get the bags out the car" he handed the keys to her and made for the exit they'd just come in to grab their bags, less than an hour later he was fast asleep in his room, he'd been driving for nearly eight hours straight.
Mercy grabbed a hot bath, got changed and went to find out what was beyond the hotel doors in Arizona, she checked her mobile for events or entertainment nearby and decided she was going to take something in at the local Science Centre. She'd just missed the afternoon walk around by twenty minutes and try as she might she couldn't get the guard to let her in to catch up, she ended up spending the afternoon with the guard talking about intergalactial spacestations and avatars, he was trying to convince her they really didn't exist, she was giving him her logic. Eventually he gave in and agreed she had a good argument, she breathed on her hand and rubbed her chest pleased with herself, when he admitted defeat and gave her a ticket for access next time she was in the area. It was early evening before she realised she was hungry, she found herself something to eat before she made her way back to the hotel, 4 hours later they were back on the road.
Mercy hadn't felt tired all day, but now the night was coming in again and all the roads seemed to melt into one, she could do with a nap "I'm going to shut my eyes for a minute" she told Vennrick closing the curtains again for privacy. Remembering she'd promised, she took her phone out and called her Mom, she spoke to her regularly but right now, with quiet enough to reflect, she was having second thoughts about her choice "Mom" she smiled at the voice of reason on the other side of the line
"Cedes where are you?"
"I'm on my way, I told you I was driving down well, Venn was driving me down" she rolled her eyes telling her Mom
"You know I worry"
"I know Mom, I was just feeling sorry for my jobless self and needed to hear your voice"
"The voice of reason" her Mom laughed
"You know that, right?" Mercy giggled "Did I do the right thing?"
"You did, I feel it in my bones" she laughed
"Nothing against you or even Lima but I'm not looking forward to coming back, because of the way I left things with ..."
"I told you, you might see Kurt, if you're lucky and he'd be passing through, everyone else went and didn't look back, just like they said they wouldn't"
"What about Rachel?"
"That girl left the day after she finished school, her parents followed her they couldn't wait to get out of here, her parents don't even phone let alone visit" her Mom laughed
"I guess"
"You guess, you know"
"So, how are you?" Mercy asked her Mom, changing the subject, she didn't need to remember that girl who slept with her boyfriend behind her back and aborted his baby. There were other things on her mind as she asked the question, it had been a hard nearly four years since her Dad had died, that made it even harder to leave the sleppy town, knowing her Mom was going to be all alone but she'd insisted that her daugher ceased every opportunity and that's what she was doing for herself as well as her Father who had gone way too soon
"I'm fine" she giggled "I've been stepping out with Dean a fair bit"
"Who, Mr Tinsley?"
"Yes"
"Good on you" Mercy grinned, at last her Mom was making friends "I guess I'll be a bit of a third wheel when I get there" she laughed
"You'll never be a third anything, you're right up there my number one girl"
"I know that, but he might become your number one man"
"I dont think we'll go that far, it's for companionship more than anything else, for both of us"
"We'll see" Mercy smirked
"Child" her Mom said shyly "Anyway were are you again?"
"Arizona just getting through, we've got about another one thousand miles to go, and I plan on plenty of stops"
"You go ahead and do your favourite thing" she laughed "And be safe"
"I will" Mercy smiled for the concern from her Mom, she'd been out on her own for nearly six years now and her Mom was still treating her like a 17 year old. knowing her Mom, her coming home was going to be another reason to get all the family together, like she always did, for the massive party in the garden, only this time she wasn't destined to leave twenty four hours later, her mind went back to the impromptu family gathering at her flat all those years ago when she went ballistic yet again, she laughed wondering if there was ever a time she didn't go way past diva back then
Flashback
I'd just done some baking, all my wares were sitting on the kitchen counter cooling, of course I'd had my hot one, that was always my treat for taking the time to bake, I remember I was sat watching reruns of Snowfall when the door opened "Hi Guys" I smiled without even looking up "I thought you'd be back later"
"They will" Santana replied, my head spun round fast for the unexpected voice
"Santana" I frowned puzzled and surprised at the unexpected visitor "What are you... who gave you a key?" I got up asking realising she'd just walked into my place
"I got it off Sam, he said you guys were away, I was in town needed somewhere to crash, Mom and Dad's is bursting at the seams, and this was the obvious choice"
"Why didn't you stay at Sam's?" I asked already pissed at the guy, he could have at least called and asked
"He's got my older cousins and their parents, It's a sort of a family reunion thing for Gramps memorial tomorrow"
"So what's wrong with the hotel?"
"What about an hello?" Santana finally got to me asking
"What about some notice?" I took her hug asking rolling my eyes at her balls "Hello" I smiled when we came out of the hug "Who are these people?" I looked up at the door, horrified at the army marching in
"We didn't think there was anyone here we were going to crash all over the place" Santana told me looking back at her family walking into the house "This is my brother Pablo..." everything went into mist as the names were fired at me like I was supposed to rememebr these random people "Anything to eat or do we need to order in?" she walked off towards the kitchen asking
"You're ordering in" I told her a laugh in my voice, but it was a sarcastic one, I sucked my breath through my teeth when I looked at my couch as saw there was nowhere there for me to sit back down, to make it worse at last count there were twelve people in my apartment they were still coming in, and some of those had babies attached to their chests "And I'm sorry but I'm not giving my room up"
"Yasmin and I can squeeze in with you" Santana announced while I stood watching her as she took her phone out to order the food "And if you need the bathroom I suggest you get in now before these guys start" I jumped; no I under exaggerate, I flew up, grabbed her things from my bedroom and found the bathroom as suggested. I sat in the bath seathing, Santana was such a bitch for assuming she could just rock her whole damn family up in her place and everyone would be fine with that, I grabbed her phone to call Kurt and Blaine, maybe she'd cleared this with them
"Mercedes" Kurt answered "What's up?"
"Did you get a call about Santana?" I asked
"What's happened to Santana?"
"So you didn't get a call?"
"No, what's happened?"
"Oh nothing" I blew out, knowing Kurt was rolling his eyes at me and that I'd have to deal with this shit "Just had her whole generation rock up to sleep in our appartment tonight"
"No" Kurt gapsed
"Joke right?" Blaine asked
"No joke I'm in the bathroom right now because she told me to grab the damn chance before her kin took over the whole damn place"
"I know this doesn't help you right now, but they better be gone by the time I get back, or all hell will be let loose" Kurt told me, piling the pressure on
"Did I mention there are babies"
"On my fucking antique persian rug?" Blaine shouted "Get them out of there"
"Or roll it up, Santana's family, just roll it up Mercedes" Kurt suggested
"Hell if my couches are getting it, you can rest a fucking ssured your rugs getting it" I spat for the cheek
"That's not fair, we didnt ask for this" Blaine blurted out like a spoilt school child
"But I know a damn man that did" I was so angry I slammed the phone down, I knew who was taking the rap and paying the bill for all this damage "Sam" I howled down the phone as soon as he answered it
"Don't just don't" he hissed back at me, he was ready for this fight "I know you're going to make all this shit my fault somehow, but your fucking cheeky friend stole the fucking key from my bunch, she barged into my fucking place, and left half of Spain and I think maybe some of Africa in my fucking apartment, she doesn't even fucking know me like that, I'm litterally sitting on my balcony, it's the only seat left in my fucking apartment"
"I really don't want to hear your problems Evans, at least you still have fucking balcony space, I'm literally in the damn bath, I need these fucking people out my damn apartment pronto"
"If I could get them out of mine I'd have a clue for how to make that happen"
"Get a clue because no way am I sharing my bed with these people"
"I have no answers Mercedes"
"I didn't ask a question Evans, I gave an order"
"What!" I knew he'd looked at his phone wanting to grab my head through it and stamp some manners into it with his fists and feet, I wanted to giggle but I was in a damn zone
"You have problems following orders?" I rolled my eyes, this man was going to send me onto the fucking roof
"Just the ones that come from cheeky bitchs like you"
"So now I'm that bitch again, are you waiting for me to say thank you or something?"
"No, I think that's my cue to say fuck you"
"I guess you wished you could, you know, if I'd thought you'd be any good at it I might have given you the pleasure, but somehow I know I'd be wasting my damn time" I hissed slamming the phone down before he could reply, I was so mad I jumped out the bath and grabbed my robe, put it on and just about tied it up before walking out into my sitting room "And Santana you know I love you, but this" I looked around at the nearing twenty bodies scattered around the room laying everywhere "Is unacceptable, you need to get your finger out like all the rest of your damn family and book a hotel, I can't accommodate you guys"
"It's one night" Santana stood looking at me smiling, like we were still in school and she was asking for my study notes
"It's one night too many, sorry"
"What are we going to do?"
"Santana, if it was you and a couple of family members, I'd have no problem, but girl you rock up with twenty and expect everyone to just roll over, I mean surely you guys knew this was happening for your family, you should have planned better, sorry but you guys have got to go" I looked around the flat already noticing the dirt mark on Blaine's rug "Blaine is going to want blood for his rug" I told her, Santana looked round at the rug
"Sorry about that" she smiled "I thought you'd still be the same easy going Mercedes from school"
"Sorry not her, not anymore, and definitely not for a while now"
"Come on guys I guess it's the hotel afterall" Santana told her family as they got up to make the short journey, hugging me as she left "Oh and sorry about finishing your cakes" she rubbed in, I wanted to scream all sorts of bitch's at her, but I took them leaving as an alternative happy ending and left it right there
"Bye" I waved as the last person rounded the corner down the stairs, closing the door and leaning on it with relief as I heard their chattering fade
End of Flashback
"Sorry Mom daydreaming again, I seem to be doing a lot of that lately" she smiled into the phone
"Are you alright?" she asked her daughter
"Yes I'm fine, bye Mom"
"Bye sweetheart" and the call was finished
"Sleep" Mercy put the phone on charge, grabbed her travel pillow and pulled the throw across her, it was warm enough in the car and getting warmer, it seemed like Vennrick was helping her get that well needed sleep she needed, it wasn't long before her eyes were closed