Childhood's End

Disclaimer: I do not own Kurogane, Fai or anything else in this fic. Copyright to CLAMP and other perspective owners. All that belongs to me are any occasional OCs (which, like, never appear) and plotlines.

Intro: -Go-Gos, 'We Got the Beat'- Well…here I am with yet another KuroFai one-shot strand. I tried to make myself promise never to write another KuroFai one-shot again (with exceptions to lemons) and yet after I attempted to do so, a burst of inspiration hit. So here I am with more hopeless KuroFai one-shots… Yeah. This time it's anything goes no matter length or anything else…

Rating: T – Alcohol Use, Suggestive/Sexual Themes, Language, Slash, ect.

Pairing: Kurogane x Fai – Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE

A/N: Pregnant Fai. He may seem OOC, but I can see things playing out like this so tough. You have been warned. A little OOC Kuro by my standards. Here we go!

"I think I'm tsvistz," Fai murmured. He scratched his blond locks with a right hand as he rubbed his stomach with the other. His eyelids flicked up and down in a flutter like butterfly wings. Finally cerulean eyes glanced over at their companion. "Doesn't that bother you at all, Kuro-Rin?"

Crimson eyes stared dumbfounded at his almost-lover. By that, Fai said they were lovers but Kurogane begged to differ. Tanned fingers ran through raven strands of hair. He stared at his elbow without much consideration. "I don't even know what the Hell that means…"

A blond eyebrow poked up. Confusion filled the azure eyes of Fai. His voice was somewhat shaken – as if Kurogane had just cracked a sick joke. "It means I'm going to conceive. Don't act like you don't know. I know you're not low."

"…What?" Kurogane asked, not really interested in what Fai was babbling about. His attention was piqued inside a magazine of unknown origin. With brows furrowing, he glared at the mage who was ruining his somewhat-zen moment of tranquility. "I have no idea what you're talking about but you're heading down the wrong path if you wanna fuck tonight."

Fai's never-ending indigo eyes widened – not out of shock, but rage. It was clear that he was irritated. "Excuse me? I'm talking about a serious matter here! Don't you even care what happens to your offspring?"

Crimson eyes jolted open. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Fai's irritated smile was fading into pure anger. Still the façade prevailed considerably. "I'm tsvistz. Do you need me to repeat that for you again?"

"And what the Hell is that?" the other male asked sarcastically. He was annoyed – Fai speaking in riddles as he always did. He seriously didn't have time to play with the mage's stupid games right now. He strolled over to the door, leaving the blond behind.

Fai's brilliant blue eyes welled up. He was sitting on the edge of the bed as he stared in horror. He gulped, choking out, "I'm conceiving a child. It's… I mean, that's not normal…?"

Kurogane stopped dead in his tracks. "Are you out of your fucking mind? Nice try attempting to pull something over me, though."

"So you think I'm lying…?" Fai sneered, with bent, glazed, and hurt eyes.

The ninja shrugged. "First off, you're never telling the truth about anything. Second off, uh…only…only, y'know, women can get…they get…pregnant."

Fai nodded his head. "When women conceive it's called, 'travistz,' where I come from," he replied, "But I'm tsvistz. That's when men concieve."

Kurogane's blood red eyes glared at Fai. "You're out of your mind. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. See you."

And Kurogane left. Fai's mouth opened and closed shut a few moments before he touched his abdomen again. With a sigh he took the hand back, placing it on his forehead. He was running a fever – the next step in procedure. This…was not good.

-O-

Kurogane smirked as he placed the bottle down. That may have been one of the few up-sides to all this unnecessary trouble-travel – he was able to taste all the different types of alcohol. They ranged from bitter to spicy to sweet, but they all ended up with Fai in his pants.

Kurogane rubbed his saliva-alcohol residue mix off with a dark sleeve. It was his fourth bottle of the night and still the blond hadn't even touched a single glass. "Are you going to drink or what?"

"It would be bad for the baby," Fai whispered with a smile.

Kurogane slammed his fifth bottle on the table. "Would you cut that crap out? There is absolutely no way you could be pregnant!"

Fai crossed his arms in a similar was as he had just been insulted. "I am not pregnant. I'm tsvistz. Women's bodies and the bodies of men work differently," the blond explained. He lifted up to fingers on opposite hands to demonstrate his point to Kurogane. His eyes glanced over to the finger on the right. "Women's bodies are like enhanced magic-amplifiers. When they are travistz, it lasts from about three week to four months until she gives labor.

"Men, on the other hand," Fai continued, his eye direction averting to the left, "have bodies that are structured on physical capabilities. Because of this, the child they conceive is born earlier – two weeks to about two-and-a-half months – due to the accelerated physical growth. Thus, in physical terms, the two are given different meanings. In reality, though, I'd say there's also a magical and psychological difference as well."

Fai crossed his arms again. "Do you understand, Kuro-Wan?"

Kurogane's red eyes flitted into tiny dots. His jaw – practically drooling open – twitched from side-to-side. "That's not possible! Women are pregnant for nine months, about."

"But it is possible that the reproduction system can vary from place-to-place," Fai stated coolly. The other's lip contracted steadily with a gulped and widened eyes. Kurogane couldn't challenge that. If bunnies could roar and become ferocious beasts, then there was really nothing surprising saying that Fai could become pregnant.

"How do you know?" Kurogane inquired, his voice drained and raspy.

Fai shrugged. "I don't know. It's just a feeling – intuition, I guess."

Kurogane's head finally began nodding, slow and short.

"…If that's the case, are you going to keep it?"

-O-

"I-I'm cold, Kuro-Ch-Chin… I'm s-so…cold," Fai stuttered, chattering teeth and painfully chilling expression complete. A shiver ran up his spine.

Kurogane's eyes widened in disbelief. "How can you be cold, you damn mage? It's fucking hot outside, I put the heater up, and you got both of those frilly, fluffy, damnable abomination-of-a-coat on!"

It had been about a week since, 'that talk.' By now Kurogane was convinced that Fai wasn't lying. The blond had been acting very abnormal to even his out-of-whack standards – even the kids had noticed. Fai had been eating spicy foods which he formerly detested, he had been zoning out, sleeping more than necessary, been unable to concentrate, running fevers, having temperature flashes, and had been feeling more irritable among other things.

"I'm not putting the heater on any hotter for you! I don't care if you fake-freeze yourself to death! I'm not going to bake myself," the ninja upheld. He flicked his right wrist with a little vigor – it was by chance he found the energy to do so or make the fan itself. He almost expected his skin to melt off in a few minutes.

Fai buried his head into his coat further. Looking up at the other male's crimson eyes, the mage's face seemed only to be loosing more and more color. Fai finally lunged himself at Kurogane, snaking his arms around the muscular man and cuddling into that broad chest. A trinkle of cold sweat ran down Fai's forehead.

"You moron! You're only gonna help me fry! No way I wanna melt to my God-damn death!" Kurogane growled. He was used to the heat, but this temperature was ludicrous! The kids and manjuu had even gotten another lodging due to the outrageous heat. If not for sake of leaving the damn psycho by himself and the desperate pleas for him not to leave… Gah. He didn't even have the strength to push the mage off or yell a single obscenity.

"But you've always warmed me up before…" Fai sighed airily. His grip on Kurogane clamped down tighter. An awkward silence lingered. "I…know you don't want anything to do with this, but…it's as much your fault as it is mine."

Kurogane grunted. "Are you going to get fat?"

Fai's cerulean eyes jolted open. They glared at Kurogane. "Pardon?"

Kurogane flinched. That was a definite, 'no,' but he felt the need to justify himself. "You know! Uh, that is, your stomach grows to about here!"

Fai stared at Kurogane's hand – extended away from his stomach. He shook his head, causing golden locks to sway. "No. I get a bump, but it's not very large. Men harbor larger bumps than women, but that's also for the compensation of time."

A slender hand grabbed Kurogane's palm and led it under his clothes. He rested it on his stomach. There was a slight bump – not visible, but barely able to be felt. "I don't consider that fat." Fai whispered harshly.

Kurogane's mouth twitched. "If you do, uh…keep it…what are you going to tell the kids?"

"…I don't know."

Kurogane was angry. How this whole mess even started…that was probably his fault. He couldn't accept that fact. Had he known earlier, would he have been more careful? Probably not. Really, he didn't even care. If… If he cared then…that would mean…

"Hey Kuro-Chu, I'm actually warm."

-O-

It was night – dark and dull – the prime time Kurogane and Fai would use for their, 'conversations.' They usually ended with Kurogane attempting to kill Fai, though. Lately, however, they had less talking. It was usually silent with exception to Fai humming various tunes to himself.

"Is that a nursery rhyme you're humming or what?"

Fai giggled airily. "'Or what.' It's a chant for a healthy lifestyle," Fai replied, rubbing his stomach with a hand. He sighed. By now it had been a few days over a month. His bump was visible but still not very large.

"So you're keeping it," the ninja remarked.

Fai's smile perked upwards. "I'm thinking about it. It would be difficult…"

Kurogane sighed with a snort. "Nah. The kids'll believe anything with the right explanation. God knows you're a bastard with a gift of coming up with explanations. The worst the manjuu'll do is tell that damn witch."

A chuckle escaped the blond. "Not that."

Scarlet eyes blinked a moment before responding. "I don't even wanna know about that. I don't wanna know where it comes out."

"Not that, either!" Fai sighed in frustration. He calmed his nerves down with a palm. "…I'm talking about raising the child…"

Kurogane growled with a, 'hmph.' "I-"

"-don't want any role in its life, right?" Fai finished for the other.

Kurogane stared at the mage. He himself was unsure how he would have ended that phrase differently. He blushed the thought off. Leaning against a wall in the corner of a room, he crossed his arms as he basked in the pale moonlight. "Somehow, I can see you fawning over it like a dotting mother."

Fai giggled. Kurogane crawled over to lean over the other male with his arms around Fai's waist. The blond smirked with a somber expression. "I highly doubt that'd be the case."

Kurogane snuggled his head like a puzzle piece into Fai's neck. "If you're negative about the situation then-"

"Like you're being positive, Kuro-Tan," Fai growled. "I-I just…I'm a little unsure, is all. I guess I'm a little scared, too… But you making matter worse won't help."

"…Isn't it natural?" Kurogane asked, "I think everyone thinks about that stuff during situations like this. I think…even I'm…kind of feeling like that…"

Fai gulped. "No, Kuro-Chii. You don't understand. I thought about abortion. I'm still considering it. Any person who would think about killing their child doesn't even deserve the possibility of having a child. I mean, the other day I grabbed a butcher knife. I was contemplating about whether to do it or not – shoving it up my-"

Kurogane placed a hand up to show he didn't want to know. Fai caught the drift. He stayed silent. With a sigh, he found himself being pinned down by Kurogane. The ninja's rough tongue slid down his cheek.

"You're crying," Kurogane remarked. Fai hadn't even noticed. "I'm here, Fai. It'll be alright."

Fai nodded his head. He, too, would like to have the feeling that everything would work itself out and be alright. "The only reason I stopped…was because it's yours, too…"

Kurogane shook his head. "Fai – I – I can't; I'm not ready for that. I-"

A slender finger hushed Kurogane, placed on chapped lips. "I like to know everything. You know that. But my assurance has left me with this whole situation. So when you say it'll be alright, I believe, you Kurogane."

-O-

"I'm going to have a girl," Fai stated lightly.

Kurogane nodded. "How do you know?"

"I don't know for sure," Fai giggled, "but I don't think I'm wrong, either."

Kurogane slapped a palm against his forehead before dragging it down slowly. "Okay, do you know when it – she's due?"

Fai nodded slowly, his palms flat against his abdomen. "Sometime later this week."

Crimson eyes stared at Fai's figure awhile. "Have you thought of a name?"

"You choose," Fai whispered hoarsely. He shook his head. "I don't' want to choose."

Silence entered the room. It diffused everywhere, quickly filling in every space and crack. Kurogane's eyes didn't waver – they were stuck on Fai like wallpaper, unchanging for the world.

"…Tomoyo. Name her Tomoyo."

Fai nodded. "Okay."

Kurogane crawled over to the mage. He wrapped his arms around Fai snugly. "It'll be okay. In the end, it'll all work out."

"…This is the only choice at this point, right, Kuro-Myu?" Fai choked out.

"Couldn't' you stick with, 'Kurogane?'" Kurogane growled.

Fai smiled weakly. "I'm scared."

"Don't be. I'm here," Kurogane assured. His eyes wandered about – to Fai's stomach, to be more precise. It had grown considerably in the last few weeks. "I'll protect you." Kurogane stared a little harder. He reached out for the blond male. Fai cringed as Kurogane touched his abdomen area. Kurogane exhaled heavily like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. "Lunch is ready. It was pre-made so all you gotta do is heat it up for the kids."

Fai shook his head with eyes clenched shut. "You didn't-"

The ninja kissed Fai's cheek. "Shut up. I'll see you after work. If…you know…if you…"

"Go into labor?" Faqi suggested with a smile.

Kurogane nodded. "Yeah. Get me – somehow." The ninja kissed the blond on the cheek again before leaving for his current vocation.

"I love you."

A smirk formed. "I love you, too, you idiot."

"…If you miss the birth, are you going to be mad?" Fai inquired with a familiar yet forgotten tease-tone in his voice. His head twirled over with a psychotic grin that brought the mundane yet warmth-inside grimace to Kurogane's face.

Yet Kurogane smirked. Somehow he had missing that fake, silly grin. "Yeah. I'll be fucking mad as Hell."

Fai nodded with another smile. "Have a good day at work. Don't push yourself too hard."

"Same to you." Fai bit his bottom lip.

-O-

"Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn, it, damn it, damn it!" he growled. His damn mage had some fucking mind to choose to the perfectly wrong time to go into labor. He flung a door open. Fifteen minutes of nonstop runnig seemed to be much longer. He was afraid of missing Fai giving birth, yes, but moreover he was afraid of any weird custom Fai may have had…like eating their children whole… He supposed that was nothing more than a myth, but with Fai one could never be too sure. Out of breath, he plopped onto Fai's bed.

The blond mage was smiling that missed mundane grin extended from one side to the other. "You missed it, Kuro-Kyu."

Kurogane growled an obscenity under his breath with a blush. "My boss wouldn't let me go. I fought him fist-to-fist for a good fifteen minutes before I beat the crap out of him…"

The ninja looked back at his lover. "Oh yeah, how's the, uh – it – er, she – I mean, Tomo – no, you? How are you?" Kurogane asked, pounding his palm against Fai's forehead as if he expected the other to be running a fever.

"I'm fine," Fai giggled. The mage blushed at Kurogane's touch over him. Sometimes Kurogane's boldness made Fai grin genuinely. "But if you do that, we're going to end up repeating this whole thing again."

Kurogane flipped back into the prior mode. "How's Tomo-Chan?"

Fai smiled at the nickname Kurogane already dubbed their child. "She's fine…healthy, looks a lot like you…"

Kurogane nodded quickly, still caressing Fai gently. His eyes were widened a tidbit – out of a mixture of excitement and insecurity. His arms shook lightly with sweaty palms. It almost seemed as if Kurogane might explode at any given moment.

Fai smirked, his smile falling a bit. "…At least, that's what I'd like to say."

Kurogane nodded, his eyebrows furrowing downwards. "Is she okay…? No, wait, it's a boy? No, no, no. She looks like you, huh? Well, that's fine, I guess, as long as I can keep my hands offa her…"

Fai flinched at Kurogane's sick sense of humor. His head shook lightly from side-to-side slowly. "No, Kuro-Nin, I…I lost her."

Crimson eyes widened. "So…uh, misacarriage or-"

"No, that's not right, either…" Fai's voice drifted. After the sound had settled, his shaking voice picked up again, "She…technically she was never alive. She was growing, she reached the stage where she could breath, she was – in that sense – alive, but she wasn't aware of the world and she didn't feel anything, either – physically or emotionally."

Kurogane nodded, his breathing stabilizing and tension vibrated violently. It took a moment for all the experiences to register properly. "…You killed her."

Fai's blond locks shook from side-to-side. His cobalt eyes quivered in sync with trembling lips. "No… She wasn't alive. You can't kill something that was never alive."

Kurogane shook his head "No. She was alive. You even said so yourself. You…you murdered her!"

Golden locks flipped in a swaying motion again, this time with more velocity than the prior. He wore a sharpened glare and beginning-to-glaze eyes. "You're wrong."

Kurogane's ruby eyes glowered into Fai's forcefully. "No, Fai, you're wrong."

Sapphire eyes completely glazed over with tears forming on the sides. The next moment rain was falling from his eyes. Prefect, unblemished arms latched onto Kurogane's shoulders as he began bawling like a child. Phrases of torment and stress danced into Fai's words through a rasped, desperate voice.

"…Stop the fucking excuses, Fai. How did you kill her?" Kurogane demanded. "You can at least be strong enough to tell me the truth."

"I-I-I-" Fai began, stuttering, pausing for a moment. "I threw myself down stairs. I…had to position myself correctly and do it a few times for it to work, but…but I couldn't handle it… I couldn't – I couldn't-"

Kurogane shoved Fai off, pulling away from the mage. He pried Fai desperate grasps off of his arms. Burying his face into a palm, he could only wonder. He didn't want it – her – he didn't want, 'Tomo-Chan.' It was confusing this whole situation – why it hurt so much; why it fell so good just to hold Fai with a single hand on the other's stomach – why he missed the humming or prose of that scratching, hard, raspy language he couldn't understand.

Fai grabbed a pillow, the tears were still flowing rapidly with a faucet without end. The pillow was tossed and turned until it pressed against his abdomen like a part of him. He propped himself against a wall, attempting to halt the disobedient droplets.

"How hard do I need to fuck you?"

Fai's beryl eyes widened. Blond locks shook from the right side to the left. "N-No, Kuro-Kao. It'll end up just like this. I can't – I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I-"

"This is a mistake, Fai. Next time-"

Fai shook his head violently again, new tears springing out of his eyes in an instant. Kurogane reached out for him but Fai flinched away. "No. There won't be a next time. I mean, are we going to pay a price with the witch to have her travel with us? Will we just settle in whatever world we're in for the rest of our lives? What will we do when we reach your world?"

"I said I loved you."

"You'll stay with me?"

"You said you loved me."

"I do…"

"Then stay with me," Kurogane urged, scooping Fai up into his arms. Fai squirmed underneath the gentle touches, settling into an uncomfortable comfort.

Soft, golden locks swayed beneath the ninja's words. "I can't do that. I've told you time and time again. That's not something I can do, Kuro-Pon…"

"It'd be better for stability," Kurogane cooed. The situation was so wrong. It should have been reversed… Things were not supposed to go this way…

"I'm sure your princess would-"

"Shut up. She can't take your place," Kurogane snarled into Fai's ear, biting it slightly. "You're the only one for me and you know it, you imbecile."

"…She was going to have magic. I couldn't handle that," Fai explained weakly. He closed his eyes. "It's wrong. I know I shouldn't value my being over her life…your being, even…but…"

Kurogane slapped Fai. He felt something in his eyes, something he could not place. After taking it out on the mage fairly well he moved to the wall. By which point he could feel it – feel the blood running through his veins, feel the head-ache clouding his line of reasoning, feel his emotions distorting like blood when dropped into water, feel his heart begging to stop, feel the soft, moist droplets rolling down his cheeks. God damn it, he was crying. He couldn't cry – not here, not ever, not in front of the damn mage. He was supposed to be strong – the strong, invincible protector of Fai – of the broken family they made. Grown men didn't cry – never, especially over beings he never met nor wanted to meet.

"I don't even remember what the Hell I saw in you when I said I loved you."

Fai exhaled shortly. He closed his eyes. "And I can see perfectly well why I love you."

Kurogane fell down to his knees. He knew from the beginning that involving himself with Fai was a bad thing. He knew from the beginning that if he kept blaming it on the alcohol he would indulge himself further with Fai. He knew from the beginning that Fai was already broken – the worst that would happen would be forcing open old scars again. He knew from the beginning that involving himself with Fai would only result in his own pain.

-O-

A girl looked at her companion somberly. Her fellow nurse-mate was hunched over a sink scrubbing at her hands vigorously. Leaning over her mate's shoulder, she gasped upon the sight. "Y-Your clothes! They're stained so much! So much…blood…everywhere! What happened to you?"

The girl frowned with tears streaming down her face. "It…was just a miscarriage…just a miscarriage…that's all…that's…it." The girl fell onto her knees with a thud. A secluded memory resurface – a memory of blood spilling all over and confusion and the desperate screams of a hopeful future and the blank stare when the realization of a miscarriage hit and the smile that was plastered on afterwards and the sharp words spoken and the smell of cinnamon inching closer by the second.

Afterthoughts: I can't believe no one's ever touched this subject! (shock) Oh well, now I'm officially the freak who thought of the idea of Fai being pregnant. I now have an impressive resume… So I guess they're in a world where it's normal for men to have children if the nurses aren't freaking out…? Oh well. Flame on! Seriously, try me. I know it was a stupid idea, but…I just couldn't help myself.