Dahvie's POV
I drink the last of the beer in the bottle I'm holding before throwing it to the ground. It's been a month now since he, since Jayy left the house. Things were going great with his new boyfriend, and he thought it was time to take the next step. I was supportive, it wasn't an easy thing for either of us. We've been best friends for a while now, it seems like we've known eachother forever. Jayy was happy when Drew came to help move his stuff, I was nice to him. Drew seemed like he was a nice guy, but I hated him with every fiber of my being. He was taking my Jayy away from me, and I didn't like that, not at all. It took everything I had not to yell; not to scream 'Jayy, please don't leave. Stay with me.' Not to tell Drew to hit the road and never show his face again. But I didn't, only because Jayy was happy; the way he smiled when Drew was around was heartwarming. He never smiled like that before he met Drew; I had never seen him so happy for as long as I've known him. And although it kills me; all I want for Jayy is for him to be happy.
But part of me still regrets not stopping him from going. I love Jayy; I realize that now. My heart would skip a beat whenever he was with me; my stomach would always feel like it was full of butterflies. Every show, I'd always look forward to the kiss we do for the fans; they weren't the only ones who went crazy when Jayy kissed me. I would too, my heart would beat so fast I was always afraid it would stop. I lick my lips at the fond memory of Jayy's mouth pressed against mine; the sweet taste of him would linger for the rest of the show.
That's all gone now though; because Jayy doesn't love me back. I know this for a fact, if he did, he wouldn't have left with Drew. I still regret keeping my feelings secret; a part of me is convinced that things would've been different if I told him how I feel. Convinced that he would've stayed if I had. But I was afraid; afraid he'd not only reject me as a lover, but as a friend as well. I didn't want to lose our friendship because I got too attached to him.
My phone rings, pulling out of my thoughts of Jayy and I grab it off of the coffee table. I click the answer button without checking the caller ID.
"Hello?"
"Dahvie!" I hear a familiar voice cry on the other end.
"Jayy?" I say in surprise. Shouldn't he be with Drew?
"Dahvie, he used me," Jayy cries hysterically on the other end, "I trusted him and he. And he-"
"Jayy calm down," I tell him, "Where are you? I'm coming to get you."
"Hell if I know. Some shitty bar near the theatre," he sobs.
"Just stay where you are, Jayy. I'm coming."
I click the phone off and grab my keys off of the key hook. Wasting no time, I get into my black SUV and start to drive. He must be at Buck's. That run down bar that rednecks and perverts frequent. Whatever happened Jayy's not any safer there than he was with Drew.
I soon find myself downtown and I pull into the parking lot of the bar. Yanking the keys from the ignition, I waste no time in getting into the building.
"Jayy?" I shout as I run in the door. I look around and my heart drops when I don't see him. Walking over to the bar; I get the bartender's attention.
"Hey, I'm looking for someone," I tell him.
"Guy or gal?" the man asks with a southern drawl.
"He's a guy," I tell him, "Black hair, lots of piercings."
"Tattooed to hell?" the guy asks and I nod, "Yeah, he went in the bathroom about 20 minutes ago. He didn't look too good, thought he was gonna be sick I guess."
"Thanks," I say hurriedly before running to the bathroom. I slam the door open and see Jayy on the ground. Tears stain his beautiful brown eyes, but what really scares me is the crimson red that's trickling down his forearms.
"Jayy, what're you doing!?" I yell, seeing a flash of silver in his fingers.
"Taking the edge off," he whispers defeatedly.
"That has to hurt, stop it!" I yell pulling the silver piece out of his hand and realize it's a razor blade.
"Not at all," he tells me, "It's relieving."
"What is relieving about this?" I ask, struggling to keep calm.
"Stop," he screams, "Why does it matter!?"
"Jayy, I'm only asking because I don't want to see you get hurt."
Jayy averts his gaze from mine and sits silently on the floor.
"What happened Jayy?" I ask him, "Why aren't you at home with Drew."
At the mention of Drew's name Jayy starts crying again.
"He took advantage of me," Jayy sobs, "I trusted him, I was ready. But afterwards, he told me to leave. He was done with me."
"Jayy, I wish I could help, but you're not making sense," I explain to him, "I need you to calm down and start from the beginning."
Jayy takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself, but immediately breaks down and starts crying again. Whatever Drew did, it's really messed Jayy up. I stand up and reach my hand out to him.
"Come on," I tell him, "We'll go home and you can tell me there. It'll give you the car ride to calm yourself down."
Jayy says nothing and silently takes my hand. He stands up and we walk out to the car. Jayy gets in the backseat and I get in the front.
"Jayy?" I say in confusion, "You can sit up front with me."
"I'm more comfortable back here," he says defeatedly. I say nothing as I start the car and start to drive home. I look in my mirror every so often to check on Jayy, but he's just curled up in a ball in the corner of the back seat; his head rest on the back of it. I grip the steering wheel tightly as rage starts to burn inside of me. God damn it, I can't help but blame myself for this. If I had told Jayy how I felt; he wouldn't have moved in with Drew. This would never have happened, I'm sure of it. But what's done is done. All I can do now is be supportive and help Jayy through this. I see the driveway and force a smile.
"Jayy, we're home," I tell him softly.
"Great," he whispers.
I pull into the driveway and shut the car off. Swinging the car door open, I realize it has started to rain.
"You coming?" I ask as I get out of the car. Jayy makes no effort to get out of the car.
I'll be in in a sec," he says weakly. I frown, but make no effort to force him into coming with me. It could make the situation worse if I try to force him into anything.
"Ok, take your time," I tell him, "But don't be too long."
Jayy gives no response and I walk to the house. Unlocking the door, I put the keys back on the keyring and sit on the couch; waiting for Jayy to come in.
After about a half hour, Jayy still hasn't come in and I start to worry even more about him. A glance out the window shows that it's raining even harder than before. I get up off the couch and walk to the door. I don't want to force Jayy to do anything, but it's not healthy for him to be outside in that weather.
"Jayy?" I say as I walk out of the house. Jayy's standing outside of the car; his head resting against the doorframe of it.
"Jayy, what're you doing out here in the rain?" I ask as I get closer to him.
"I was hoping it would wash everything away," he says softly, "That everything that has happened would just wash away and everything would be like before."
"Before what?" I ask him and he turns away from me.
"Nothing," he says and I frown.
"Jayy, please come inside," I plead, "You could get sick out here."
Jayy says nothing but moves away from the car and walks towards the house. I follow him and we go in. Once inside, I see that Jayy has been crying again but the rain had hidden it from me.
"Look at you," I say softly, "You're soaked."
His black skinny jeans have water literally running off of the surface of them while his white All Time Low tank top is clinging to his body; you can see right through the fabric on parts of it.
"Take that off, you'll freeze in it," I tell him, motioning to his tank top. He pulls the wet shirt over his head. I grab a blanket off of the back of the couch and wrap it around him. Jayy gingerly takes the edges of it and holds it tightly against him.
"Thanks," he says weakly. I walk over to the couch and sit down; motioning for Jayy to do the same. He follows me and sits down beside me; close enough for me to feel the moisture from his pants begin to saturate my own leopard print pants.
"Now Jayy," I begin, "Did something happen with Drew?"
Jayy says nothing and nods slowly.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I ask and he nods again, "Then I need you to tell me what happened."
Jayy says nothing but looks away from me; as if he's ashamed or embarrassed about something.
"Jayy, you know you can tell me anything," I assure him, "You're my best friend and nothing can change that."
"I know," he says without looking at me.
"Then you know you can trust me," I tell him, "I'm not gonna get mad at you for anything."
"That's not it," he tells me.
"Then what's keeping you from telling me what happened?"
"You won't understand."
"I'll try my hardest to. I want to help you Jayy, but I can't unless you tell me what happened."
Jayy takes a deep breath and turns his eyes back to mine; sadness and pain poisoning his gaze.
"Things were going great," he explains, "I don't know what happened. Me and Drew were happy; he took me places all the time and treated me like I was the only thing that mattered. I never felt the way I did with Drew before. I honestly believed he could be the one; until we-"
Jayy stops abruptly and I try to urge him on.
"Until you what?" I ask placing a hand on Jayy's; a sign of comfort. He squeezes my fingers lightly and continues.
"Until tonight. We made lo- no, we had sex," he says and tears start to well up in his eyes again.
"You mean you hadn't had sex with Drew yet?" I ask and he nods.
"No, but it's more than that. Dahvie, I was a virgin," he tells me. I can't help but be a little surprised at that.
"What?" I say confusedly, "But I thought you've had sex many times."
"I only said that so you wouldn't think I was some kind of prude," he tells me, "So I told you that. All the sex stories I told you were made up. I was saving myself for the person I thought I was gonna be with forever. I thought Drew was gonna be the one, so tonight I decided to take the next step. But after we, you know, he told me to get out. I was so confused, I asked him what I did wrong. He told me all I was was an object built for sex; but I insisted on going slow so he played my little game. But now that I gave him what he wanted he had no use for me. He told me not to come back; that he didn't want to see me again."
At this point Jayy is so beside himself with grief he can't speak anymore. I wrap an arm around him and pull him close to me. I hold Jayy as he cries; he's been broken.
"Dahvie," he gasps out, "Is something wrong with me?"
No!" I say loudly, how could he even say that? "Why would you ask something like that?"
"Is it...is it too much to ask to be loved?" he cries.
"What're you talking about Jayy? The fans love you," I tell him. I love you.
"It's not the same!" he tells me, "I want to be reason for someone's existence. I want to know that I am the most important thing in the world to someone; to know that I can go home after a bad day and have someone that only wants to make it better. Is that too much to ask?!"
"Of course not, Jayy," I assure him. Tell him.
"Is that the price of fame? Am I doomed to go through life without knowing what it feels like to have someone love you?!"
"No, you won't. You'll find someone who will feel that way someday." Tell him.
"How can you be sure of that?"
Without thinking, I respond by pressing lips against Jayy's. I feel his surprise and pull away from him.
"Because that's how I feel about you," I tell him before he has a chance to say anything.
"But, then. Why-" he stutters out in shock.
"Did I let you leave with Drew?" I finish for him and he nods, "Because you were happy with him. I had never seen you so happy; I knew I couldn't give you that. And although it killed me, I let you go. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy; even if it wasn't with me."
Jayy wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly.
"You, you really love me?" he asks.
"Of course Jayy," I tell him, "Why would I say it if I didn't mean it?"
"Then, can you do something for me?"
"Anything."
"Show me what it feels like to be with someone who loves you."
"How should I show you?"
"Make love to me."
"Jayy, I don't know if we should, you know. You just had your heart broken. I don't want to take advantage of you."
"You won't be. Please Dahvie, I want this. I need this."
Still unsure, I press my lips against Jayy's again. Jayy responds warmly to the kiss; opening his mouth a bit to give me access to him. I run my tongue over his and savor his sweet taste; god I've missed it. I bite down on his bottom lip and pull playfully on his lip rings. Drew may have robbed him of his innocence, but I'm gonna show Jayy just how much he means to me.
Jayy's POV
I never thought of Dahvie as anything more than a friend before. He was always there for me, and even now he's continued to amaze me. We're kissing and touching and, it just feels so right! Like I've always had what I wanted; all I had to do was open my eyes and see it was right beside me all along. Dahvie pulls the blanket off of my shoulders and pushes me back on the couch. He climbs on top of me and eyes my body hungrily. He plants a kiss on my lips before he starts to suck on the skin just below my ear. I let a moan escape I feel Dahvie's knee move up the spot between my legs and brush against my crotch. The action startles me a bit and I pull away from Dahvie a bit.
"It's ok," Dahvie reassures me, "It's just me."
"Sorry," I tell him, "Just a little nervous."
"I'm not Drew," he tells me softly, "I'd never do anything to hurt you."
"I know," I tell him and he starts to leave a trail of kisses over my collarbone. He continues a trail down my chest and over my stomach; stopping just above my pants. He undoes the button and catches the zipper in his teeth. Dahvie pulls the zipper down and quickly rids me of my pants and boxers. He lightly lays kisses on my hips, thighs and everywhere but my arousal; teasing me to the point of insanity. Gingerly, Dahvie takes the head of my shaft into his mouth and starts to suck. I gasp and buck my hips up; driving myself deep into Dahvie's throat. He gags a bit and places his hands on my hips to keep me still. He slowly takes more and more of me into his mouth, adding greatly to my pleasure. My hips twitch, desperately trying to drive myself deeper into Dahvie's wet, warm mouth. But his hold on me keeps that from happening. After a while, my shaft is fully seated in Dahvie's mouth and he starts to suck even harder. I run my fingers through his black and lavender hair, pulling lightly as he bobs his head back and forth; eagerly sucking my length.
"Ah, Dahvie," I moan, as Dahvie sucks me off. It feels so good, I can barely stand it!
Dahvie keeps going at this pace for a while; and I feel my body grow hotter every second, losing more and more control of myself as time goes by.
"Dahvie," I moan, "I'm close."
Dahvie pays no heed to my warning and soon after I feel my orgasm take me. Dahvie recoils a bit as I release in his mouth, but eagerly swallows everything I give him. He let's my dick fall out of his mouth and he runs his tongue up my length a few times; hungrily lapping up any remaining cum. He moves back up my body and kisses me with more passion than before. I can taste the tangy saltiness of my cum on him, but I don't care at all. I pull him closer, already feeling myself getting aroused again. Dahvie pulls away from me and looks deep into my eyes.
"Are you ready for me baby?" he purrs seductively and I nod.
"Yes," I whisper, "I'm ready."
Dahvie smiles and pulls his clothes off. I pull away from him and get on my hands and knees; the way Drew had told me to do earlier.
"Jayy, what're you doing?" Dahvie asked me.
"This is what Drew told me to do," I say confusedly.
"Jayy, turn back around," he tells me, "I want to be able to see your face as I take you."
I turn back to face Dahvie and he catches my lips again with his. I return the kiss and wrap my arms around Dahvie. He runs his hands between my thighs; urging me to open them for him. I hesitate a bit, but eventually comply to the request. Dahvie settles himself between my legs and I feel his arousal poking at my entrance. I feel him pull my arms from around him and trace my forearm before lacing his fingers between mine.
"Ready?" he asks one more time and I nod. His fingers tighten a little around my hand as he slowly pushes his length into me. I gasp and tighten my hold on Dahvie's hand; it's not as painful as it was with Drew, but it's not completely pain-free either.
"You ok baby?" he asks me softly.
"Yeah," I gasp out, "Fine."
"I'm gonna try moving," he tells me, "Just let me know if it's too much and I'll stop."
Dahvie pulls halfway out of me and slowly pushes back in. My hips jerk a bit, but I make no effort to try to move away from him or stop him. The weak pain slowly fades as a well placed thrust knocks against my prostate.
"Fuck, Dahvie," I moan, "There! Hit there again!"
Dahvie complies to my request and drives himself hard against the sensitive bundle of nerves; causing me to bring my hips down in an effort to get him deeper in me. He picks up the pace a bit and starts to brutally assault my prostate. I bring myself down in timing with his thrusts; panting and moaning for more.
"Harder," I cry out, "Hit me as hard as you can."
Dahvie starts to hit my prostate harder; causing me to writhe and move beneath him. The pleasure's just too much for me to handle.
"More Dahvie," I pant, "I want everything you can give me."
He gets even faster and starts thrusting into me even harder than before. My vision blurs as the pleasure becomes too much for me to control. My body stops obeying me; it just starts doing whatever it can to push Dahvie further into me. A familiar feeling causes my body to heat up and I grasp Dahvie's hand tighter.
"I'm close," I manage to gasp out.
"Cum for me baby," Dahvie purrs as his speed picks up again. That does it; I cum all over Dahvie's stomach and feel his grasp on my hand tighten. I feel something hot splash inside of me and Dahvie stops moving all together. Panting, he pulls out of me and collapses on the couch beside me. I press my body against Dahvie's and he wraps an arm around me to pull me closer to him.
"So that's what it's like," I whisper.
"What what's like?" Dahvie asks me.
"That's what it feels like to have someone love you," I tell him, "I finally understand what love is."