Will You

Summary: Havoc is out drinking and happens to see Hawkeye upset in her apartment. Should he go comfort her? HavocxHawkeye. Slight HavocxMustang and mention of EdxMustang.

A/N: Alright, my second fanfic! Some OOCness, but get over it. This is another songfic (I love writing songfics) to the song 'Will You' by POD. I wrote it differently because I felt it was a better narrative song than dialogue song if you catch my drift. I was experimenting. Lyrics are in bold! -

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, or the song 'Will You'.

It was a cooler night, with the sharp wind biting at second lieutenant Jean Havoc's exposed face. He and Breda had gone out for drinks and were now heading back to their apartments. Both men were silent, enjoying their states of drunkenness.

"Hey," Breda said loudly, punching Havoc on the shoulder to get his attention. "Isn't that the Colonel? Hey… Hey, boss!" The man shouted, his words slurred.

The dark figure in the distance slipped into the shadows. Havoc wondered vaguely how his drunken comrade could recognize anyone from that far away in his state.

"Where was he coming from?" Jean asked, although he was pretty sure he already knew.

"I dunno, those apartments over there I-" He hiccupped. "I think."

Havoc nodded. It was where first lieutenant Riza Hawkeye lived. He looked up at a window on the third floor, where he knew Riza lived. To his surprise, she was sitting in the window seat. He stopped walking as his companion just continued to saunter down the street. His bright blue eyes focused on the figure in the window. She looked so sad.

See her sittin' next to the window in the bedroom, she breaks down

To his dismay she started crying. He wondered if he should go comfort her. No, that was stupid; she wouldn't want to see him. She only had eyes for Colonel Mustang. Their little affair had been going on for three months now. Jean was the only one who seemed to catch on to it- probably because of his own adoration for the beautiful woman.

She didn't notice him watching her, as tears flowed down her face. Something tugged at his heart as he continued to observe her. That's not right, he thought. Angels shouldn't cry.

Cryin' over somethin' and starin' into nothin'

Riza hated him more than anyone- anything- right now for making her appear such a fool. For making her doubt herself, her own judgement. She couldn't afford the leisure of second guessing in her life. She should have known right from the start that it was too good too be true.

When Roy had first come in her apartment with the sorry expression on his features, she was scared. She didn't know of what, but she knew she was scared. When he had started his apologetic speech, she had known instantly that there was someone else. Another woman, she thought, it had to be another woman. Not unexpected really, since the handsome man had a reputation for going through women like water. She was prepared for that, prepared to punch him square in the face and ask him if any other woman he'd been with was like her. He'd reply no, and then in someway or another she'd have him desperate to be with her again. That was the plan. But the Colonel had blindsided her, and there was absolutely no way she could compete this time; no way to win him back. Roy had fallen in love with Edward Elric. It was disgusting, really. Mustang told her that he'd made the discovery he was gay a month into their relationship. It was the reason he went through women like items of clothing- he couldn't find what he was looking for. Nothing clicked. The reason he had not ended their relationship was that he loved Riza as a friend, and wanted to make her happy. Riza had been happy- she'd been in love. Roy's reasoning was logical, but logic wasn't enough- Riza felt deceived; what she had thought they were, wasn't. They were a woman madly in love with her gay friend who humoured her, in her mind. She despised this. She didn't have anything against homosexuals. Just Roy.

Afraid now, hate now

Jean thought he had watched her for long enough. He started to try and catch up with Breda, but something stopped him.

Wanting, needing, haunting, it's killing me

Havoc turned and made his way to Hawkeye's apartment. I'm crazy, he told himself silently.

Jumping at the sound of an unexpected knock on her door, Riza took a deep breath, collected herself and then made her way to the front door. She opened it slightly, the sight of an unlikely visitor surprising her. Second lieutenant Havoc, stood in the hallway, honey blond hair messed up (as usual), still in his uniform (which now needed ironing rather badly), and smelling of alcohol and cigarettes. One of the latter was hanging on for dear life between his thin lips.

For a split second he looked as if she was the one who was knocking unexpectedly on his door: taken aback.

Then he spoke. "Er, you look upset. Can I come in?"

He realised it was rather forward, but it was all he knew.

"Yeah sure," Riza heard herself say. Gods he must think I'm pathetic, she thought. "Make yourself at home."

Sitting on a comfortable cinnamon couch, he surveyed his co-worker's living space.

Hawkeye's apartment was- what was the word? Oh, yes, clean. He tried to ignore the nagging sensation that he should probably attempt to clean his own quarters…maybe tomorrow, he thought.

Riza took a seat beside him and silence- although not necessarily an uncomfortable one- ensued.

Aching to break it, Jean asked, "So what happened? Did the Colonel break your heart?"

He immediately berated his blunt nature at the woman's milk chocolate orbs brimmed with tears.

"How did you know we were together?" She questioned, catching him off guard. It wasn't what he had expected; since right after the words left his mouth he had regretted them. He had thought her primary course of action would be-action- a swift punch in the head to be exact. Havoc had never seen Riza this defenceless before.

"I-," he started. "I could just tell." He restrained himself from raising his voice at the end of the sentence, trying to sound sure of himself. He had omitted that the actual reason was that he had almost walked in on the m in the Colonel's office. Havoc decided he should back up his vague comment.

"It was the way you two looked at each other."

Hawkeye sniffled. "You mean the way I looked at him. He never looked at me."

"Aw, c'mon he-,"

"No. Havoc, you don't understand…" She cut him off and told him what had happened earlier that that night.

Jean looked wistfully at Riza plain hardwood floor. He wished he could've shown every speck of shock Hawkeye was so obviously expecting from him. No matter how he willed it, he couldn't pull it off, and she noticed right away.

"You don't seem surprised," she accused, narrowing her eyes.

Jean ran a hand through his already untidy hair. How am I going to explain this? He asked himself silently.

"Well," he began. "He kissed me one night at the bar, but I just thought he was really drunk." His face turned red at having to mention the incident. They had both been really drunk, but he realised another factor might have influenced what had happened.

Riza just examined him for a moment, before muttering, "He's such a jerk."

Havoc felt his loyalty to Roy nudge his conscience. Even though the man was sleeping- or rather, had been sleeping- with the girl of Jean's dreams, he had helped Havoc when he had needed help. Havoc felt the need to defend Roy even if he had done his share of hurting him as well. Not for the first time, Havoc realised what a strange relationship he had with his commanding officer.

"Yeah, okay, what he did to you was pretty asshole-ish…But I know he will never do that to anyone ever again, after seeing the way you reacted." He gave her a small, reassuring smile. It wasn't returned. How does he not see how he affects people when he does these things? He asked himself. Roy once told him all he wanted was to be able to live without having to doubt or lie to himself or those around him. As far as Jean was concerned, he wasn't doing too good of a job of ridding himself of his afflictions. Had he even been serious?

Faking what has happened to live the life like that man, I'll break down, it's fake now

Riza eyed Havoc, watching as his bright blue eyes focused on her mahogany coffee table. A frown twisted his normally open features. It occurred to her then how hard he was trying to make her feel better, and how hard she was making it. Something else struck her also.

"Hav- Jean?" She figured since it was such an informal situation she might as well us his given name. "How did you know I was upset? I know it wasn't just coincidence."

"I-," Havoc tried to come up with a quick but good lie. How come he hadn't thought of this earlier?

"I'm psychic."

"Seriously," she said sternly.

Jean rubbed the back of his head, aiding to the dishevelled look that he had trademarked.

"I was walking home with Breda and he saw someone that looked like the Colonel and I realised that we were near your place. I put two and two together and looked up at the windows to see if I could spot you an-"

"Why did you want to see me?"

He sighed. "Just to- I dunno…Just to see you I guess."

"Why?" She inquired, though the answer was becoming clear.

"Cuz you're beautiful. He explained quietly. He had no other way to say it.

Hawkeye was taken aback. Several moments of unbearably awkward silence followed.

"I can't believe I never noticed," she told him lamely. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Cuz the Colonel gets all the women," He stated. "Honestly, have you ever even considered anybody in our squad- other than the Colonel- as a potential boyfriend?"

At this comment Hawkeye blushed. She actually had thought of what it would be like with Havoc once- the thought lasted all of ten seconds and had certainly not reoccurred; until now. She eyed Havoc in a different light- imagining what it would be like just to straddle his hips right there on the couch and revealing what the blue uniform he was wearing currently hid. Riza shook her head slightly, as if the physical action would rid her head of the mental image. She got to her feet, slightly swaying.

"I really must get some sleep," she stated. That bottle of wine really got to me, she thought silently.

Havoc didn't know what to think of her sudden change of subject. He knew he should feel hurt because Riza obviously didn't feel the same way he did, but all he could feel was tired. Emotional pain can wait till the morning, when I'm sober, he decided. Sleep did sound awfully good.

"I'll just let myself out then," he mumbled, standing up slowly.

Riza stood at her bedroom's doorway, gripping the frame for support. It was as if the couch she had been sharing with Jean was her link to reality; for now all she could think of was how she had wasted so much of her life dedicated to Roy. She felt her body fill with the cool horrible sensation of loneliness as her gaze drifted around her dark empty room. Black Hayate wasn't even there, since he liked to wander around Central at night. She started to feel a strange sense of panic creeping upon her; she'd never felt this way before, and was sure as hell she didn't want it to continue.

"Jean?" She called out weakly, hoping he hadn't left yet.

"Yeah?"

Hawkeye went to the entrance of her flat, where her cry of his name had stopped him in the doorway. He had never looked better in her eyes- her drunk, exhausted saviour smelling of cigarette smoke.

"Take me with you."

Havoc was unceremoniously shoved against the door. It was- to say the least- a unique means of closing his apartment door.

"Wha- what are you doing?" He asked Riza confusedly. The woman removed the cigarette from his mouth and smothered it in a conveniently placed ashtray beside the door on a stand.

Havoc caught a look that he'd never seen before in those light brown eyes. Riza's lips met his with a crushing force. Whoa, was all the dazed man could think.

Getting over the initial shock of Hawkeye's unexpected attack on his body, Havoc returned the kiss with a passionate one of his own. His erratic breathing through his nose was felt on Riza's face brought her to the realisation that it had never been this way with Roy before. There was a certain element that had been lacking that whole time, and she felt stupid for having not caught that it was amiss. She thrust her tongue into his mouth, finding herself craving Havoc's unique flavour of nicotine and something that was unmistakably him. Jean soon followed suit; exploring Hawkeye's mouth fervently. She tasted of red wine, which was probably a contributing factor to the situation he now found himself in. He groaned involuntarily as Hawkeye pressed her body against his, the sensation pleasurable.

How long had it been since he'd been intimate like this with someone? He tried to remember. Long enough to have forgotten how good it felt just to have his body fast against another. Riza had started undoing his dark blue military jacket's button's expertly, not breaking the kiss once. Something buzzed at the back of his head, keeping him from fully enjoying what he was doing. He was drunk and he was worn out, but he wasn't born yesterday. Riza was just doing this to numb the pain she was feeling, the unbearable hurt of an agonising concoction of betrayal, rejection, loneliness, and the sorrow that came with the lot. She wanted to feel loved again, and to be able to trust again. He knew all too well what series of emotions the beautiful woman was going through, having been in this same position before. What was it with him?

The second lieutenant opened his sapphire eyes that had slid closed. His jacket was on the scuffed hardwood floor. Hawkeye was pulling the black t-shirt that served as Havoc's undershirt up his torso. He shivered slightly as his warm stomach was exposed to the cooler air of the room. If he wasn't going to go through with this, he'd better stop her now.

"Gah, no, Riza…please…stop." I can't believe I'm doing this, he thought, angry that he just couldn't be naïve about the whole thing; but it would hurt later if he was. "You don't want to do this."

She paused, and told him, "Of course I do…I want you. I love you." She used a seductive tone that Havoc never thought she was capable of. Hawkeye tried to go back to what she had been doing, but Jean wasn't complying. He shook his head. Why was she doing this to him? Why was she trying to get into his pants like some horny teenage guy, using 'love' as an excuse- almost as a weapon- to break his resolve?

"No you don't." He picked up his jacket and put it back on, hoping that the sight of what she saw him in everyday at work, as colleagues, would bring her back to her senses.

"You don't love me, Havoc?" She stepped back from him; she didn't sound like the woman he had come to respect and adore.

He ignored the question and instead interrogated, "Do you really love me? I want you to think about it. I'm tired-" he started, and then ceased, tying to register how he was going to go about this.

"I'm tired of people abusing that word. It's said so much, and yet hardly ever meant. I know what'll happen," he told her, "You'll sleep with me tonight, wake up tomorrow- sober- see who you're beside, and find out it was all one big mistake. Will you honestly love me tomorrow?"

Will you, will you love me tomorrow?

The first lieutenant was quiet as several minutes passed, although it felt like time didn't really exist right now. She didn't love him, it was true. She wanted too- desperately- if only to ensure his love for her. But she hardly knew him. Riza only knew one thing; that when she kissed him, fire flowed through her veins like it never had before. He was an intoxicating drug, and she just wanted to get high.

"Havoc, I just want to sleep with you!" She exclaimed frustratedly, not caring if she sounded desperate.

He looked shocked at her outburst, and Riza took this moment of confusion to tackle him once again. His back made contact with the wall this time.

"Mmph," he grunted as some of his breathe was knocked out of him.

"You're thinking too much about this," Riza told him, ridding him of both his jacket and undershirt successfully this time. And this time, he succumbed to Riza's will, as they made their way to his bedroom shedding garments like rain off an umbrella, Havoc reassured himself, Well, at least I tried. Hopefully the morning wouldn't be too bad.

Next chapter is obviously the morning after... lol I broke into two parts b/c it seemed appropriate. Please review! -