Random Crap. The well of ideas for my other story is like, bone dry cough help.

I was freaking out. Edward and I were supposed to be leaving for the airport in thirty minutes.

"Argh! Where's my stuff?!"

"What stuff?"

"Oh, good Alice. You're here. Where's my suitcase?"

"Which one?"

"...I only had one."

"Erm, well..." Alice suddenly looked guilty. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Alice. What did you do?"

"Well, you know! You're such a...and I couldn't let you and...meah!"

"Spit it out."

"I may or may have not discarded that suitcase."

"What?! ALICE CULLEN!" I was livid. All my clothes were in that suitcase, Goddammit!

"God, don't worry, Bells. I got you all new clothes!" Before I could heave my tattered copy of Wuthering Heights at her head (damn human instincts; couldn't wait to start my new life...), the damn little pixie had left the room, coming back with five suitcases in hand (I will never get used to that). Hot. Pink. Suitcases. I began to choke on my words.

"Ah-Ali-Ahh-"

"Yes, dahling?"

"What. Is. That?"

"This is all your new clothes!" I ran over to the suitcases, ripping the first one open.

"What the fuck?!"

"Don't be so heathen, Isabella."

"Alice motherfuckin' Cullen! What is this fuckery!?" I pulled out a dark purplish-pink corset-garter-and-thong set out of the suitcase to emphasize my point, staring at it in revulsion and fear before turning my head back to Alice to shoot her a withering look.

Alice rolled her eyes before answering.

"It's lingerie, silly. You're gonna need a lot of it, from what I can see..." Alice winced delicately, and I felt a temporary spurt of pity for her, before remembering what she had bestowed upon me.

"Alice! I think I can make my own clothign decisions, thanks very much!"

"No you can't, Bella..." I shot a nasty glare at her.

"Whatever. What is this?! It's like some sort of pink-"

"Mauve."

"Pink."

"Mauve."

"Pink."

"Mauve."

"Whatever! Anyway, I don't want it!"

"Just remember its uses."

"...Ew."

"Oh, come on, Bella! Edward is like a rock-"

"I bet he is, alright."

"Emmett's given you a dirty mind."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Anyway, this will help you seduce him, cuz he's gonna have a bit of a spaz after the first time, from what I can see." I took this into consideration.

"Alright, Alice." I hugged her, albeit being slightly annoyed. I can't believe I let her talk me into thinkign that prancing about in skimpy underwear was a good thing. I really need to learn to stand up for myself.

"Uhkay. Now let's get all this in the car."

Yippeeeee! Don't expect an update (for my other story) for a while. School is a right bitch. Alright, see ya all later. Byeas!