A/N: I've read some of the manga (plan to read it all when I can find the time), but the majority of my OHSHC knowledge comes from the anime. Also, in my personal Hitachiin headcanon, the Hitachiin parents majorly, majorly suck. ALSO I'm only pretending to know anything about Japanese culture, so if you have any corrections to make please let me know. :)

"You're doing what?" All four expressed their surprise in varying degrees of passion, but as per usual, Tamaki was the most dramatic, while Kasanoda (the "Misunderstood" type – he'd joined after the graduation of Mori and Honey) merely raised his eyebrows.

"We're going to America for a week," we said.

"But – next week – that's the spring dance!" Tamaki protested. "You'll miss it! The last dance sponsored by the Host Club, with me as King-"

Hikaru slung his arm over my shoulder. "Sorry, Boss, but what Dad says goes."

"Yeah," I chimed in, "With us getting older, we have to start thinking about taking over the company."

"But surely you can stay, Kaoru?" Tamaki pleaded. "Hikaru's the eldest, he's the heir, so you can stay, right?"

This was true, but we didn't want to admit it.

"Well—" Hikaru started.

"You see—" I mumbled. We glanced at each other in panic.

Haruhi saved us. "Give them a break, Senpei. I'm sure they'd love to stay—" with a sideways glance at us, "But they have to obey their father. The company is really important to them."

We beamed at her. Nothing could be further from the truth (except the part about our father), but the words from her mouth were a gold standard of truth and wisdom to Tamaki. He sighed, shoulders slouching. Then he straightened, eyes flashing, and stabbed a finger at us.

"Very well! But I expect tales of adventure and charming souvenirs to be presented when you return!" He rubbed his chin, wheels turning. "I know! We will have an America-themed party, and you two can regale us with your exploits in the wild land of the West, with buffalo and cowboys and Yankees—you must be sure to recount in detail your interactions with Hollywood stars—"

We stepped outside where our limo waited, the afternoon of our flight out, in conversation with Haruhi.

"D'you think the Boss actually expects cowboy stories?" Hikaru mused.

"This is Tamaki we're talking about," said Haruhi. "It would be dangerous to assume otherwise."

I snorted. "Yeah, there will be loads of them in between the diamonds and champagne."

"Didn't you know, Kaoru?" Hikaru giggled. "It's an American custom to hold rodeos in after the main course and before desert."

I smirked. "Right, and the coffee is freedom-flavored,"

"Complete with red-white-and-blue suits and dresses covered with stars and stripes!"

We burst out laughing. Even Haruhi smiled.

"You guys," she said, exasperated.

The chauffer began to look impatient. "Seriously though," she turned to smile at Hikaru. "You guys have fun."

"We'll try," Hikaru stuffed his hands in his pockets and scuffed the sidewalk. "Bound to be loads of boring board meetings, though. Wish you could come."

"You're hilarious. I'm behind enough in studying as it is." Haruhi glanced over her shoulder. "You'd better go. Your driver looks ready to murder us."

"Yeah. Um," Hikaru took his hands out of his pockets, put them back in, took them back out, started to spread his arms, and then stuck out his hand stiffly. Haruhi knocked his hand aside and gave him a full, if fast, frontal hug then she turned to me.

"Oh, no," I said, grinning, and waved. The ache that came from seeing the two of them together was so constant I hardly even noticed it anymore. She grinned back.

"See you in a week, Kaoru. Hikaru." She turned and walked briskly off. Hikaru watched her go.

I waited a few seconds, then made my voice high-pitched and simpering, "I wish you could come. That would so lighten up the board meetings."

"Shut up," Hikaru smirked, his face flushed. I punched his shoulder as we climbed into the backseat, and he grabbed me in a headlock.

"Kaoru, these people are going to kill me, if the jetlag doesn't do it first!" Hikaru flopped eagle-spread, pale and sweating, onto the wide leather couch in his hotel suite. Barely three hours after landing in LA, we had just endured our first kiss-ass session with important representatives of other companies, and it had been a bloodbath. "That McGinney woman," he continued. "Worst Japanese I've ever heard in my life – would have understood her better in English—who do they think I am, their apprentice?—nonstop questions—judging my every move—"

I let him rant. Being the heir, he had endured much more scrutiny than me. He had been swept away the instant we were shoved into the room, bleary-eyed from lack of sleep and confused by the sudden bursts of English. I waited for him to pause for breath, lounging on the arm of the couch next to his head.

"Did you see that man with the blond thinning hair and big glasses?" I interjected.

"No, who?"

"He was the merger rep."

Hikaru's eyes went wide. The man's reputation had reached us through our father: critical of everything Japanese and everything Hitachiin, despite the fact that he wanted to merge with us. Overpowering, rude, and worth too much money to be told off.

"Thank god he didn't find me!" Hikaru moaned, eyes sliding shut. "Maybe I can face him, but not today, not now, not before sleep…" He opened one again. "Did you talk to him?"

"For over an hour," I said. "I think he got us mixed up." I just barely escaped utter annihilation, running away on wobbly knees when his secretary brought him an important (and private) piece of news, feeling like my brain and my body had been put through a wringer, and I had come out all wrinkly.

"You let him think you were me?"

I nodded.

Hikaru hefted himself partway up and threw his arms around my waist, burying his face in my lap. "Bless you, brother mine." He choked out, voice muffled. "Bless you. May the rain refuse to fall on you whenever you step outside, may beautiful women shower you with chocolates on White Day, and may you get 100s on all of your exams for the rest of eternity for the great service you have done me."

I patted his mussed hair. "Well, you were dealing with McGinney. Didn't want to subject you to a double frontal assault. And don't forget you'll have to face him sometime this week. Tomorrow, probably."

Hikaru groaned, his face sliding from my lap to the couch cushions where it landed with a plop. He lay there, face down, as limp as a dead fish. "Wernt ternow thewerr tang?"

"What?"

"Aih sheg wernt ternow tehwerr tang?"

I grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled his face out of the cushion.

"Ow!" Hikaru lurched upwards, holding is scalp and glaring at me.

"What?" I repeated.

"The worst thing was how patronizing they all were. Oh, here's poor little Hikaru Hitachiin, doesn't know a thing about business does he, all set to be in over his head—and I don't even want to take over the company. Fashion clothing lines? I'll wear it, don't care about selling it." Hikaru sighed. "Sometimes I wish you were the oldest, Kaoru."

I "hmm"ed non-commitally. We'd had this conversation before. Hikaru detested anything to do with money unless it was spending it. He wanted fun and adventure. I liked fun and adventure too, and running the Hitachiin clothing line was not at the top of my coveted career list, but I didn't see why you couldn't have that and run a business at the same time, if you had to.

"I have worse," I said, returning to the dinner party conversation. "I lost count of how many women asked if we were single."

Hikaru stared at me. "They asked what?"

"Asked if we were single. All age ranges. Late twenties, late forties-"

"WHY?" Hikaru spluttered. "First of all, why do they care? Second of all, it's none of their business. Third of all, we're sixteen, who cares?"

"I dunno, either they're creepy or they have daughters, I guess."

Hikaru muttered to himself for a while longer before shooting me a sharp glance. "What did you tell them?"

"About what?"

"About us being single."

"Actually, they mostly asked about you. Unless they thought I was you."

Hikaru yelped.

"Anyways, I made clever witticisms about how you're too busy preparing for the real world to be bothered with romantic affiliations at this point in time."

There was a long silence. Hikaru picked up a throw pillow and picked at it. Finally, he muttered, "Why'd you tell them that for?"

I shrugged. "It was more diplomatic than 'yes he's single but not for your daughter – you're asking for your daughter, right, you creep?' and 'what the hell, eff off.'"

Another few stretches of awkward silence. "I mean, why'd you tell them I was single?"

I didn't answer right away. Hikaru was already stressed, and exhausted, and not in a good mood. I didn't want to upset the balance of his nerves and emotions any more than it was already. At last I carefully said, "Do you mean, it would have made them leave you alone if I told them you are in a relationship, or do you mean you're not single?"

Hikaru mumbled something inaudible.

Fed up with his idiocy, I rashly said, "If you're referring to Haruhi, you are not in a relationship with her." Hikaru's lips tightened and his face grew an angry red. I continued. "No, awkward glances and quick hugs do not count as a relationship, and if you want to be in one with her, get a move on and ask her out already."

"We already went out!" Hikaru glared at the throw pillow.

"Hikaru, that was my date. And that was ages ago. I'd hoped you'd get the hint and ask her out without my help from then on."

Hikaru stiffened. Oops. "You set us up?" his voice rose.

I gritted my teeth. "Yes. You're welcome. Now why don't you ask her out for real? It's obvious to everyone you like each other."

Hikaru was now unraveling a thread in the pillow, yanking at it with vehemence. "How do you know?"

I stood up, anger and frustration boiling inside me. "Are you serious? The date, for starters."

"But like you just said, that was your date," Hikaru burst out. "Your date, not mine. And was a self-centered jerk the entire time. And-" he threw the throw pillow away and looked at me. "You like her too, Kaoru, I know you do."

What? He knew?

Stupid, I guess, so assume that my twin wouldn't pick up on it, even though I'd been so careful to hide it. I stuck my hands in my pockets.

"Sure. But not like you do. And besides, she likes you, not me."

"How do you know?" His voice was still angry, but the emphasis in the question had changed. He was really asking me now. How did I know? Some of my frustration evaporated.

"She treats you differently. When it's just her and me, we're just casual friends, and it's usually only a few seconds before other people join the conversation. But when you and her are talking it's completely different. You're in your own world. It's harder for people to interrupt. She laughs more when she's with you. She gets more – I don't know – excited about things around you. And she knows you like her. She almost kissed your cheek on our birthday last year, remember? After Tono gave us our watches?"

Hikaru rubbed his cheek and looked at the ground. "Well – then – why doesn't she say something?" I got the distinct feeling that he was searching for excuses now. "Haruhi doesn't care about gender roles. Why doesn't she ask me out if she likes me?"

I thought for a moment, then, as nothing else had worked, I decided to let him have it. "She doesn't care about gender roles. She just doesn't want to date a coward."

Hikaru's gaze shot to my face again. "What?"

"She's waiting to see if you care enough about her to be brave enough to admit your feelings. You even deny them to me when I already know better than anyone how you feel, and when we both know more about each other than most people know about their spouses." I walked over to where the pillow had landed and picked it up. "So man up and ask her out." I threw it at his face. Hikaru flailed and caught it.

The timing was impeccable. Hikaru's cell phone rang. He picked it up and stared at the number for several moments, then his gaze flickered between me and the screen. He turned his back, tucked his knees against his chest, and answered it. "Hey, Haruhi."

I left to get ready for bed. When I returned, Hikaru was hanging upside-down off the back of the couch, legs hooked over the edge. Only his calves and bare feet were visible.

"I know," he said, laughing. I could faintly hear Haruhi's voice, though I couldn't decipher what she was saying. "Just watch the headlines, 'Prominent businessman's son is packed away to the loony bin – World in fear of World War III – complete llama and iceberg recall!"

Haruhi was laughing. Typical Hikaru conversation – you would never understand what it was about if you only heard the tail end.

I was usually there from the beginning.

I swallowed.

Haruhi said something else, and Hikaru said in a more resigned tone, "Unngh, okay. Tell the Boss we'll try to get some cultural flavor tomorrow. Uh-huh." A long pause. Haruhi started to say something the same time Hikaru said, "Hey, Haruhi?"

A long awkward pause. Hikaru's toes clenched, and he forced out, rapid-fire, "WhenwegetbackdoyouwannagoonadatewithmewecouldeatdinnerorsomethingbutonlyifyouwanttoIthoughtitmightbefun."

Triumph and grief mingled together in my stomach. Another pause, in which Hikaru's toes clenched even tighter. Haruhi spoke, and even if I couldn't tell by her tone, I could tell by the relaxation of Hikaru's toes and the subtle sigh of relief after they said goodbye and hung up that she had said yes.

Hikaru's feet disappeared behind the couch and he emerged, starting when he saw me standing by the door. "How long have you been there?" he demanded.

I raised my hands. "Calm down, I've only been here like two seconds," I lied. "Was that still Haruhi?"

He avoided my eyes. "Yeah. Hey, listen, I'm working on an escape plan."

I grinned. "Great. Escape plan. Where are we escaping to?"

"Some sort of festival going on in town," Hikaru said. "Just looked it up online. I'll let you know the details when I've got them. We might even get lucky and miss a reception or two."

"Right, you do that. I'm going to bed now. G'night."

"G'night," he responded, heading towards his bedroom as I went back out the door. The last thing I heard him say before I closed it was, "Big fancy hotel with suites with kitchenettes and everything, you'd think they'd have decently-sized beds."