Intro: Ok this was a five word story that my friends and I worked on at our lunchtime, but it turned so funny I decided to enter it into the Library. Here are the main characters that aren't in DBZ
Mousse: He belongs to Rumiko Takashi from Ranma 1/2. He's practically blind.
Indy: Indiana Jones, I don't know who he belongs to but I don't own the Copyright!
Bun-chan*: A 1/2 Saiyan, that says odd things. She's in luv with Trunks.
Awb-chan*: Loves money, and beating up boys. Bun-chan and FC are always trying to set her up.
Fajita Cathead*: Referred to as FC in the story. She is Vegeta's twin sister, and a full blood Saiyan who is in love with Gohan.
Rachel*: A girl in love with Mousse.
Beth*: A girl in love with Trunks.
Jenai*: A girl in love with Piccolo.
Okay here we go! by the way, the characters with a star by their name are based on real people. This story was written by Bun-chan, Awb-chan, and FC
Also HFIL for those of you don't know is Home For Infinte Losers. Also known as hell.
Vegeta was in the bathroom, wearing pink bunny slippers and bathrobe singing "I feel pretty" while yelling 'I'll blow you up!"
So while he sang he put on his pink terry cloth and began applying make-up.
"Why I think I need a bigger bra size! Women! Go buy me one!"
Bulma yelled,"Vegeta! You're so incredibly gay!"
Trunks walked in and said,"Ready for our special night, Dad?"
"Yup son! You better be strong, tonight is gonna be tough!"
Trunks grabbed a beer and stuffed it up his his cat's girlfriend's mother's best friend's cousin's butt but Vegeta started to yell don't even try to figure that out
"Stop it now!"
"No! Never! I really need to do this to save my manliness. Oh brother I need to put my groove on and get away from my father!" trunks
"WAAH! I hope you sing I feel pretty in the bar and everyone laughs at me when I blow a big one at the moon and Sailor Moon chases Piccolo at 10 A.M." vegeta
"Then I've got to to run to the Super Market for you beer, Trunks you're an alcoholic." vegeta
"Hey I joined AA, Alcoholic Anonymous. And I have a nictone patch on! See?" trunks
"LEAVE YOUR SHIRT ON FREAK!" vegeta
"No I wanna show Bunny!" trunks
"Oh yeah, baby!" says Bunny.
Fajita Cathead comes in with Gohan.
"Oh boy, here's Gohan da loser." bun-chan
"Don't make fun! He's hott!" says F.C.
F.C. blows off Trunks' head.
"NNOOOOOOO!!!" Bun-chan screams.
Awb-chan walks in, Trunks regenerates and waves to F.C.
Gohan and F.C leave.
Vegeta asks,"Where is my twin sis?"
"She's mine! Back off creep!"Gohan yells.
"Oh yeah?" says Bunny "Well ALL your base are belong to us!"
Vegeta and Gohan start to fight and Trunks kidnaps all the girls.
"Hey Trunks! I thought you were mine!" Bunny cries.
"Oh yeah!" he drops the girls and cuddles Bunny.
FC yelled,"Yeah dummy! I'm your aunt for gosh's sake!"
"Hey, at least he let me go!" Awb-chan says with relief.
Trunks, Vegeta, and Gohan leave the story.
Awb-chan yells,"Wait! Cute boys! Come back!"
Gohan, Trunks, and Vegeta scream in horror and run from her. But F.C. realizes that they were running from her! They fly away, hence F.C. cries.
F.C. then jumps in the lake, only to find the killer fish bitting out her hair. Now F.C. is completely BALD! Then the fish gets Bunny, Awb-chan, Gohan, Trunks, and Vegeta. But they are wearing anti-killer fish suits! Of course F.C. couldn't afford one. (LOL) Bunny and Awb give F.C. wig with long flowing hair, but F.C. laughs and collects the DragonBalls and wishes her hair back and kills the fish. Awb-chan and Bunny then have a fish fry and me eat FireFighter Joanna up! Majin Buu eats Indy.
FC yells,"No save Indy! Awb-chan is in love with him...oops!"
Gohan goes S.S. to save Awb-chan's lover, Indy. Awb-chan denies that she is in love with Indy so she kills him, herself. Bunny wishes Indy back as a Saiyan and Bunny slaps Gohan, Awb, and FC around a bit with a large trout. Meanwhile Beth is talking to Rachel and Jenai. Beth is going to kidnap Trunks, and they're going to a dance club. Rachel with Mousse, and Jenai with Piccolo. Awb-chan runs to the dance club before anyone goes and burns it down. She laughs and then hangs out at Wendy's with F.C. Buns says,"Yay!"cuz Trunks and she are reunited. Beth starts to cry and blows off Indy's head. Gohan, FC, Jenai, Piccolo, Mousse, and Rachel sneak off to a different dance club. Awb-chan tags along hoping to meet a man. Bunny tapes Ind'ys head back on and gives him a gelly roll to sit on the bus with.
Vegeta yells at Gohan to bring back his sis. Everyone starts running. Vegeta hits a guy who flies into Awb-chan. Awb-chan falls in luv on the spot.
"Who are you you tall, smart, handsome guy?" Awb-chan asks.
"I love your face hun." the guy replies.
Awb-chan yells at Vegeta and then starts to burn him.
FC yells,"Hey you fool thats my twin bro!"
Awb-chan yells,"Well he attacked Butch!"
"Yo my name isn't Butch you moron!" Norman yells. "I am Norman Maxamillion TUbbs the third! You wretchy hag!"
Vegeta and Gohan both get mad at FC's insult and blow Norman/Butch's head off. Mousse and Rachel, Jenai and Piccolo, and Beth, Bunny, and Trunks are all in the dance club.
But since Gohan dumped FC, FC's power dropped and Norman's head never left his body. Awb-chan sighed and Norman took her hand and went to the dance club. Bunny gets jiggy with the spam machine.
Gohan and FC make up and go their house.Vegeta knocks Trunks out and drags him home too. Norman and Awb-chan get married in a casino. While they were getting married Norma was playing the slots and won $ 50,000,000,000 ! Of course Awb-chan was planning ways as spending it. However she first had to pay a big medical bill of Bun-chan's and Gohan's. Vegeta had finally gone over the edge and poisoned their food to get them away from Trunks and FC. But Awb-chan then decided to share the wealth. So Bun-chan and Gohan lay in the hospital dying, and Bun-chan talking about "Indy". However Trunks and FC decided to put aside their hatred for each and rob Awb-chan's bank account. But what they didn't know was that it as a set up and they were put into jail for life. Bun-chan and Gohan were still dying because the doctors had gave them too much medicine. Vegeta had gone back to destroying planets in his craziness. Trunks and FC were in the slammer trying to break out. Nobody told the famous millionaire, Awb-chan. (but she found out.) So there were ordered to have their own seperate jail cells under the ocean.
"Thanks a lot Awb-chan you traitor! You could have at least got me a laptop!"
Vegeta found out, though and got into one of his fitful rages, and broke Trunks and FC out of jail and then they robbed Awb-chan dry.
Only Awb-chan took her fortune with her.
"Why are you calling me a traitor, you're the one who tried to rob me in the first place!" Awb-chan screamed.
FC replied,"Cuz Gohan is dying!"
Trunks nodded, and Vegeta laughed crazily.
Vegeta said,"Kakarott's brat won't die of a bad sandwich! I will kill him!"
He took off to the hospital with Trunks, Awb-chan, and FC following.
"This is so dumb!" Awb-chan and started to throw rocks at FC and all her followers. FC fell out of the sky and jumped off the bridge. While Vegeta blew up the hospital, Trunks went home to get a beer.
Awb-chan sighs and rolls her eyes.
"I can't believe this is happening! My grandmama's gun was in that hospital you big fat lummox!" she screams.
Trunks burps loudly and the whole town falls down, including the bridge on FC who go's back to where she came from, HFIL.
"Oh brother!" Awb-chan replies and rolls her eyes again. She then throws a beer bottle at Trunks. "You like beer now you hoboe!"
Bun-chan gets up from the rubble and says,"A guy lives in my backyard, but he is not a hoboe. Think about it, don't think about it!"
Awb-chan says,"Darn, FC died, but Gohan is still alive."
Everyone starts to cheer.
"But I can't allow my BF to be dead my whole life. I must do somethign!" Awb-chan thinks to herself. "I'll bring her back to life!" she screams out loud. She then ordered Gohan to kiss her. FC, not Awb-chan!!
"Oh yeah..." FC mumbled. "I'm gonna kill that purple-haird lummox!"
Trunks screams like a girl as FC strangles him, but Bun-chan punches FC in the lower intestine (tummy) and knockes her back over the bridge. Awb-chan yells at Bun-chan. Awb-chan then walks away fom the scene with Norman, only to return when the time is right, Bun-chan and Trunks leave too. Vegeta and Gohan cry over FC and then beat the crap out of each other. They were only beating the crap out of each other beacause they wanted Awb-chan's fortune. Marry for the money, the two lummoxes is that even a word? always say.
Vegeta yelled,"How could you be so disloyal to my poor sister?!"
Gohan replied,"Dude, you can I can team up together and steal the money. We're the strongest Saiyans alive!"
"Ok, but only because I need to buy FC a ring, to show how much I care..." Vegeta said with a sweet tone of voice.
"Shut-up! She's my girl, and you two are releated anyway!"
Vegeta replied,"I will just kill you and Trunks so you can go to HFIL and bring her back!"
Gohan yelled,"No way! I won't go down to HFIL! But you will!"
They start to strangle each other.
FC walks in.
"What are you two doing?"
"Oh...." Vegeta trails off.
"Hi my baby!" Gohan says as he kneels in front of FC. "Will you marry me?" Gohan asks with Vegeta's ring in his hand.
"STOP!" Vegeta cries as he knocks Gohan clear to the moon, but grabs the ring.
"Will you marry me?" Vegeta asks.
FC backs away slowly.
"Two things, one I'M DEAD! Two, you're my freakin' brother!"
Vegeta answered,"So? On Planet Vegeta, bros and sis got married. And in that Tenchi Muyo show they almost got married."
"Yeah..." FC answers closing her eyes.
"Don't cry." Vegeta comforts. clears throat...uh...Vegeta? Comforting?
"Oh Vegeta..." FC trails off and then true love reveals true love's first kiss.
Gohan yells really loud, and then kisses FC. Vegeta and Gohan both begin the kiss FC. Vegeta and Gohan end up kissing each other.
FC wakes up.
"EW! I fainted after I cried! What the HFIL have you two been doing?"
Vegeta looks at FC.
"So the kiss meant nothing?!"
FC jumps off the bridge again, forgetting she's dead. But Vegeta and Gohan fall after her, so they can kiss her all they want in HFIL.
Awb-chan and Bun-chan glance over the side.
Bun-chan yells."Yeah! They're finally dead!'
Trunks replied,"Yeah, but now I have to tell my mom that Dad is dead."
Awb-chan says,"See ya! I'm going home with Norman!"
"Uh... Awb-chan..." Norman says uncertain.
"What?" Awb-chan asks/
"I'm dumping you. Bye!" Norman says and runs away.
"Thank you! I'm free!" Awb-chan yells.
Norman turns and adds," And I'm taking the money."
Trunks and Bun-chan laughed at Awb-chan.
Suddenly Bulma arrives and asks,"Trunks where is your father?"
But Awb-chan takes care of Trunks by telling him Bun-chan hate him. Awb-chan gets her money back and laughs.
"Oh dad is dead." Trunks replies.
Bulma screams,"What?! Vegeta is dead!?"
She breaks down crying.
"Stupid women! I'm not dead, I'm leaving you! I must find a way to HFIL!"
Gohan takes off after Vegeta, also aliv.
Awb-chan and Bun-chan cat fight.
Of course Awb-chan wins with a little kick which sends Bun-chan to the moon.
"Ha! See ya!" Awb-chan says and then searches for someone to beat up.
Bun-chan smiled and yells,"I am Usagi, bunny of the moon!"
Meanwhile Vegeta and Gohan are trying to get to HFIL.
"Where is FC? Stupid wife! I want to find my true love!" Vegeta says.
"Hey that chick is mine! So Shut up!" Gohan yells.
Awb-chan shows up grinning.
"I'll find HFIL and FC for you, for 1 million dollars."
"DEAL!" They both shout.
"Thank-you, thank you." Awb-chan says as the money is placed in her hands.
"Suckers." she says as they walk away thinking that their luv will be in their arms soon.
Vegeta and Gohan are soon helplessly lost. Awb-chan had gone off to spend her money. Bun-chan had finally found her way off the moon, and her, Trunks, and Bulma went to find Awb-chan to get their revenge.
"What should I buy?" Awb-chan says as she looks through the shelves of the most expensive store in town. Bun-chan appears behind her and steals all the money she has on her. Then Bulma, Bun-chan, and Trunks sneak off to find the lost Vegeta and Gohan.
Awb-chan cried and vows to catch the criminal behind her lost money.
Vegeta and Gohan are aimlessly trying to find HFIL in the woods. Bun-chan, Trunks, and Bulma start into the woods.
"Where is FC? Stupid sense of direction." Vegeta yelled.
"Calm down! I'll get my baby back!" Gohan said.
"Shut up!" Vegeta yelled back.
Trunks said,"Over this way! I hear them-"
"Shut up Trunks!" Bulma replied. "I'm going to kill Vegeta for leaving me for his stupid sister!"
"Is that them?" Vegeta asked Gohan.
"Yeah, run!!" Gohan yelled.
"Why are you running away from us?"
"We want the chick!" Vegeta screamed.
Bun-chan yells,"You idiots, stop thinking with your libidos! You're going the wrong way!"
"I'm coming, but Gohan is scared of Trunks, believe or not not!" Vegeta said as he walked over to HFIL.
"Where is FC?" Vegeta asked as he looked at everyone, but not FC!
"Oh... she.. she.... well...we...." Trunks trailed off.
"Tell him all read you little cheat!" Bun-chan screamed as she kicked him in the shin.
Bulma smirked.
"I brought her back to life, so you're stuck here cheater!"
Gohan was behind Bulma.
"Ha Vegeta! Now I will find my wife!"
"Ahh..... shut up all ready!" Vegeta yelled and sat down crying.
"FC? FC?" Gohan yelled.
"Gohan, Gohan, is that you?" FC said hopefully.
"Yes! Yes! FC!" Gohan said as they were reunited.
Vegetastarted to shriek at being stuck in HFIL. However an evil voice behind them ruined everything.
"At last I've found you!" Awb-chan yelled.
"What...wha... wha.... what do you mean?" Vegeta asked, shaking a bit.
Awb-chan replied,"Not you idiot! Bun-chan, Trunks, and Bulma stole my money."
Bulma yelled,"You stole money from Gohan and Vegeta first!"'
"So what?!" Awb-chan said holding her dog Blooma.
Gohan and FC sneak out back, but Vegeta starts to yell as Bulma and Awb-chan starts to fight. Bun-chan looks at Trunks and asks,"Why does Awb-chan fight with everyone?" Trunks shrugs.
"Bun-chan lets go get married, and leave the rest of them in HFIL."
Bun-chan smiles and nods. Awb-chan sends Blooma to get her out of HFIL. It works, so then Awb-chan starts out to ruin Bun-chan's marriage.
Blooma also accidentally let Vegeta out, who is out to ruin Gohan's and FC's marriage.
Bun-chan and FC go out to buy dresses together. Blooma chases them, mugs them, and then ruins all the wedding dresses, FC and Bun-chan liked. Trunks and Gohan then kill Blooma, so she can't do anymore damage. But Blooma is invinveable. So Gohan destroys her immortality, and Trunks blows its head off yelling,"Die you god damn dog!"
"How could you?!" Awb-chan shrieks as she holds her beloved dog's head in her hands.
"Next time.... Next time," Trunks started, but couldn't think of anything to say.
"If anyone should die, it should be you Trunks! You god damn 1/2 human!" Awb-chan yelled back, holding Blooma's head in her hands, as if it were a sword.
"Come on. No hard feelings, right?" Trunks asked, backing away slowly as Awb-chan inched closer.
"Can't we all just get along? Act like civilized beings?" Bun-chan asks.
Vegea appears next to Awb-chan.
"No! This mutated dog shall ruin Bun-chan's and Trunks' marriage! And I shall ruin FC's and take her away!"
"Trunks! I love BEANS!" says Bun-chan.
Vegeta grabs FC, and runs off like a maniac and Trunks grabs Bun-chan and and runs towards the chapel. Blooma follows as the flower dog.
"Sanctuary!"hollers Bun-chan. "We need to get married!"
Vegeta yells. "Yes, hurry up women!"
FC starts to pound Vegeta, and yells,"GOHAN!"
Biooma, Blooma's wife, is a mother who bites men getting married. She also eats peanuts.
"And I'm enjoying some Trunks!" Bun-chan cries. "So open the church!"
The pastor comes out and orders Trunks to stop drinking. He does, and races inside carrying Bun-chan. Vegeta runs in with FC and locks Gohan out. The pastor starts the ceremony for FC and Vegeta to be married.
The Choir sings ' I love beans' and Fajita Cathead is not wearing a dress but training clothes. Vegeta is clothed in his Saiyan armor.
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, wait... wrong cermony! Sorry.." the pastor is a messed up guy.
FC cheers, but Vegeta brings up a large energy ball and the pastor says,"Never mind, FC and Vegeta can get married first."
"Hooray! Hooray!" Vegeta cheers.
"Please Lord, may a lightning bolt strike Vegeta down and may Gohan come for me.." FC prayed.
Too late!
"Vegeta may now kiss the bride!"
Gohan finally broked down the door. The pastor took Bun-chan and Trunks into the back room to marry them.
FC cried,"Oh no! I'm married to Vegeta!"
*******************
"Bun-chan you may now kiss your err.......wi....husband. With the purple hair and all. I just-" the pastor tried to explain couldn't tell if Trunks was a girl or boy
Trunks yelled,"YAY!"
Bunny and Trunks exchange kisses and are 'wed.
Meanwhile Gohan is trying to get Vegeta and FC divorced, but the office can't divorce Saiyans! Of course FC is deeply happy damn whoever wrote that!, but she decides to have an affair. (bad girl.. tsk..tsk)
"The more the marrier! Plus I wanted to marry Gohan, so Vegeta is clueless!" fc
"Good choice woman!" Vegeta said looking depressed.
Vegeta runs to his son at two A.M. to poor out his tale of woes.
Trunks yawns.
"And I care? I mean you did kidnap her in the chapel!"
"So what?" Vegeta retorted.
"Retorted sounds like a pig noise, you face." Bulma says.
She was eavesdropping. She poked her head in.
Vegeta stood up.
"Dude, I'm going to my wife." Trunks replied. "But take her with you, she doesn't stop whining." meaning Bulma
Bulma and Vegeta both scream,"NO WAY!" and Vegeta starts home.
Cheese then drops out of the sky and lands on FC, killing her, so she is now alive. ?
"Yay!" Gohan says and grabs FC out of the house
Vegeta yells,"Come back with my wife!" then promptly calls the police on a kidnapping charge.
Then the flying monkies from the Wizard Of OZ. don't own, don't sue us! come and take FC and Gohan farther and farther away from each other, my pretties!
Then the cops come and are on a wild man/monkey search for Gohan and the flying monkies.
But the monkies need their daily bananas, so they had to stop and chow down at a small restaurant/car repair place on the side of highway 63. They order $84.63 worth of Hello Kitties don't own that either. Gohan and FC make a run for it, but Gohan is arreste because Vegeta told thecops that FC was kidnapped.
So as all of this happening the hair on FC's head is slowly expanding. stop picking on me dammit! She is so fat that she loses twenty pounds before trying to get Gohan out of jail. Then as the dance approaches, it jumps on her. The 'it' is Vegeta who demans she goes to the dance with him.
Vegeta refuses as he pours gallons of hair spray on her head, her hair is now like Veggie-chan's.
"Cool!" she yells as she goes SS4, and runs away to save Gohan.
Vegeta then chases after her trying to cut off her hair.
"Come back here woman! Nobody steals my sexy do!"
"Fine!"
She steals Trunks' swordand cuts her hair like Videl's.
"Eww.." Blooma says with her butt, since her head is gone!
"I hate Blooma!" says Mr. Hand towel puppet. He owns a car shop.
Awb-chan and Bun-chan reenter story.
"Go to your room Bun-chan!" FC (her stepmom) yells.
"WAH!" a person name Lilian whined.
Lilian is now dead.
"Uh.. do I ever get out of jail?" Gohan asks.
"Hey that was my girlfried!" Goten suddenly appears pointing at Lilian.
But Lilian is invinceable! But Lilian is DEAD! Hence leaving the story.
Goten starts to cry anime sweat drop.
Vegeta knocks FC out and takes her home.
And another day rises, and falls.
THE END.
FC's note:Uh... is Gohan still in jail? ARREST ME! ARREST ME! I DID IT! I MURDERED VEGETA SO I COULD GO TO JAIL WITH GOHAN!