Title : Bring Me To Life.
Pairing : Remus/Hermione.
Rating : M/NC17.
Summary : Hermione Granger has been affected by two men in her life. Discover who they are, and what they did.
A/N : This is based on real life experiences I went through. I just thought I would use it for a one shot. Hope you enjoy it :)
Also there is child molestation involved. I must warn you!
Bring Me To Life
"How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb
Without a soul
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead
It back home."
Hermione Granger was today turning eight years old. She smiled at her birthday party, but deep down, her fear and pain were eating her. When the one man, who touched her soul and shattered it, came into view to embrace her, she felt as though she was about to throw up. Memories of what happened flooded her mind, and she paled immediately.
Her father had always been a nice man. That is until he lost his job about a year ago. When he did, the man was no longer her father but a monster who haunted her dreams and tormented her life. He had begun to drink alcohol, and nearly a couple months later, it was like he lived only of alcohol. He would beat her mother and hear her screams echoing in the dark hallways of the house. But Hermione was strong, she bottled up the pain she witnessed. Only one day he turned to her.
He would come into her room late at night when her mother was fast asleep in Morpheus's arms. He would caress her face softly, and Hermione thought it was her father coming back to her, the one man she loved so dearly.
"My sweet, sweet Hermione... You are so beautiful and so smart." He would whisper to her.
But as he caressed her face, soon his hands would snake down to her body. He would fondle her small stomach, kissing it eagerly. His hands would caress her legs and snake up to her private parts. Hermione wouldn't move, couldn't talk. She couldn't understand, what this normal ? He began to rub her private parts, and soon would thrust a finger into her. She would scream and beg her father to stop. She couldn't take it. It was too much for her. Why would he do this to her ? Her eyes were filled with pain and fear.
"Daddy, stop, please!" She would beg him, almost screaming.
"If you continue to scream like this, daddy will have to punish you!" He growled at her.
And so she waited until it was over. He would do things in front of her, she couldn't understand. He would make weird sounds with his private parts until white stuff came out of it. She was really disgusted by it, so she tried to look away, and waited, and waited, and waited. When he was done, he would kiss her forehead and wish her good night. He would leave and pretend the next day nothing happened. And this went on for a little over six months....
As she came back to the present time and saw her father, her body froze and her heart began to pound. She looked at her mother and forced a smile as she saw the worry, frightened lines on her face. She didn't want to hurt her mother. Her father had finally started to get help a little over two months ago for his alcoholic problem. He wouldn't live with them until he was fully sober again. This, of course, pleased Hermione but she pretended nothing happened, nothing was wrong.
But how long can a broken soul, a lost heart pretend that nothing happened ?
--
Hermione was nearly twelve years old, and was about to enter her first year at Hogwarts. She was happy, she would only have to spent the holidays at her parents house. Her father, nearly three years later, was discharged from the hospital and sent back home. While Hermione was frightened that something might happen, she pretented to be happy. As she always did. But her fear was there. However, he never came to her room. Though, she had to admit, she put a lock on it when she knew he was coming back.
But here she was. At Hogwarts. She was a book-worm, and she enjoyed. Books took her to a different world, a safer world. Since she was a child, books were her only way to escape the horrors she witnessed. It was a world entirely of her own. She could sigh, cry, scream, be angry without any fear that someone would hate her. Books were her only real reason of living.
That is until she met Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. They had saved her from the Troll and since that day, she was grateful of their friendship. She helped Harry as much as she could with the questions he might have. She would help both of them if they needed it for her homework. And while they were of the opposite sex, she didn't fear them. They weren't men, they were boys. They would never do to her what her father did. It was impossible.
She had to believe it, or she would never make friends with the opposite sex. And she was right to believe it. They always protected her, but never did inappropriate things to her. When she was in class, and the teacher was male, she simply did her homework, answered when she could (though sometimes her thirst for knowledge wouldn't let her wait to answer), and moved on. If she needed to speak with a male Professor privately, she made sure Harry and Ron would wait for her outside the classroom. In case she needed them. They never questioned why, and just did as she asked.
While in third year, Professor Lupin had noticed something about her, something that it would seem had gone unnoticed by her two best friends. One day, he decided to confront her about it. He asked her to remain after class, which she did.
"You wished to speak with me, Professor ?" She asked standing nervously next to her desk.
"Yes, Miss Granger. I seem to have noticed the other a red stain on your white blouse." He said seriously.
Her eyes widened and she knew what stain he would talking about. She had been so careless that day, and didn't do things properly. "It was nothing, sir, I assure you. Just a simple cut during... Potions." She lied miserably.
He rose an eyebrow. He got up from his desk and walked around it. Approaching Hermione, she took instinctively a step back. He noticed this. She was frightened, he could tell. He could hear her heartbeat accelerating. Why was she so scared of him ? He remained distant from her. She wasn't looking at him.
"Hermione, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm only here to help..." He said in a soft tone looking down at her. "Is there something wrong ?"
She shook her head stubbornly. He sighed. "Very well... Go to your next class."
"Thank you, sir." And she ran out the door. She knew that cutting her forearms to feel other pains that the one in her heart was a stupid idea. But it was the only thing she knew. She knew she couldn't keep it up without someone bound to notice it. So she decided to switch places to cut, deciding to cut herself on her thighs. The sensation of the cut was burning but it relieved the pain. She would do this in the bathroom, behind close doors. No one knew. She would cry, and cry, and cry. Until her body was all dried up.
Eventually she would go back to her room and fall asleep. Many nights were filled of nightmares, of those frightful nights. Some days, she would come in class looking really tired but showed off a smile. It worried some of her Professors who noticed that she was hiding something, especially Professor Lupin.
When he left Hogwarts, she was happy in a way. While he was a good Professor, he seem to hover a lot over her. And she didn't like the feeling. It seemed like he knew something. And the years went by. She would keep her secret hidden deep within her heart, hating and fearing men everyday. It consumed her heart to the point that sometimes she would even snap at her two best friends. They had seen changes in Hermione's behavior, and didn't understand it. When Ron tried to make a move on her, she rejected him.
She tried to get over this fear, this hate, but it consummed her. She was starting to think that maybe she would never trust men, never really know if they were all pigs or so she thought.
--
In her seventh year, Hermione was now eighteen years old. It was April, Easter break. The air was warm, but not hot. The breeze was soft, but not cold. The sun was shining and she was spending her holidays at Grimmauld Place. Her parents wanted her to come home, especially her father, but she refused explaining she was an adult and could do whatever she wanted. Truth was, she knew her father had started drinking again a couple years ago. When she witnessed her mother's beating one Christmas holiday, she never returned to her parents since. She had explained to the Weasley parents that her father was drinking and seemed like a dangerous man. They didn't need to know more and accepted her to come and stay with them whenever she liked, same with the Black House.
And here she was, inside the house on a beautiful day reading a book. She was reading "Beauty and the Beast". It was a favorite book of hers. While reading she didn't notice Professor Lupin enter the room. When he saw her and noticed she was unaware of his presence, he knocked on the door which startled her.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"No, it's alright, Professor." She answered smiling.
"You know, you can call me, Remus. I've said it before..."
"Yes, I know." She simply answered. She was afraid to use his first name. It made it feel like she was close to him. She didn't want that, with no man at all. Sirius had tried the same thing with her in her fifth year, but she refused and he gave up.
Remus sighed shaking his head. "May I sit with you?" He asked as he grabbed a book of his own.
Hermione's eyes widened and her heart began to race. He could hear it. He could feel her fear. It was amazing yet disturbing that she was so afraid of him. He frowned and asked softly : "Hermione, do I frighten you?"
"No." She breathed out.
"You are lying. Is it because I am a werewolf ?" He asked, fearing her answer. Of all compassionate people in the world, Hermione had the biggest heart he knew.
"No... It has nothing to do with that." She said, gasping realizing she had said more than she expected.
So there was something wrong with her. He had known it but never pressed the matter. He always knew she would come out with it one day. Placing a silencing charm on the room, he took a seat next to her and placed a gentle hand on her knee. Her reaction was surprising : she stiffened and paled instantly. She was now looking only at his hand like it was the devil. Someone had done something to her, something that made her fear a hand. That was an easy conclusion. But what ? That's what he wanted to know.
On the other side, Hermione felt like the hand was burning her. She wanted to remove the hand, but waited for it to do it's work and be over with.
"Hermione..." He called her softly. She didn't move. "Hermione, look at me!" He ordered more firmly this time. She looked at him : her eyes were wet of unshed tears, frightened and distant. He had never witnessed such a look in Hermione'y beautiful brown eyes. "I only want to be your friend, I would never, ever hurt you. You hear me?" He removed his hand and continued looking at her. "Hermione, what happened to you?"
She let out a breathe she had been holding. The burning sensation was still there, and she began to breath heavily. She couldn't understand : why didn't the hand touch her like her father did ? When she looked up and saw Remus, she gasped. This wasn't her father. She frowned confused. This wasn't normal. Every man is the same as her father. She was searching for answers, and Remus noticed it.
"Tell me what you are thinking. I can help you." He spoke softly.
"Why didn't you touch me in a sexual way ?" She said bluntly.
Remus''s eyes widened at her question. Why would he do such a thing ? He felt uncomfortable of your question but answered anyways : "Because that would be invading your privacy, and I am in no right to do so..."
Hermione didn't realize it at first, but a tear, then another, and several others began to flow down her cheeks. She got up quickly, more confused than ever. Remus, on the hand, didn't want her to go. She was about to break her shell, he couldn't let that slip away. He grabbed her hand, but she struggled to be free. He wouldn't let her have it. He pulled her closer to him, holding her against his chest. She struggled as much as she could against him.
"I knew it." She said crying and hitting his chest with two fists. "You are like every other man. You... You... You take pleasure in touching women, little girls for your own sexual pleasure.... I hate you! I hate all of you" She screamed against him.
So someone had touched her in a sexual manner. Someone had invaded her privacy. Remus felt angry. If he found out who it was, he would rip the mans balls off. Taking a deep breath, he tried to regain his calm. Hermione needed someone to comfort her and show her that not all men were evil. And he was determined to do so.
"Hermione, dear, look at me!" He said softly.
Shaking her head, she answered : "No. Why don't you be finish with it already. Just take what you want from me and be done with it!" She yelled.
He sighed and placed his two hands on her two arms. He pulled her back and held her firmly. "Listen, I don't know who hurt you, and why. And Merlin help that person when I find out, because I would rip him into pieces." Hermione now looked at him, still crying with all her might. She had never seen an angry-Remus Lupin before. "That person had no right to invade your privacy, take advantage of you in any way. I am sorry this happened to you, Hermione, but not all men are like that." He told her honestly.
"I still hate him!" She yelled at him.
"You have every right to, but if you leave that hate consume you, as it seemed it already had, you will destroy yourself and never know love..." He released her this time.
"I don't know what love is. I don't want to know it. All I know is that I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!" And as she said those three words, she punched Remus in his chest over and over and over again. But he could take it. It didn't bother him. She needed to let that built up anger out, those tears out. Eventually, she seemed to calm down and Remus wrapped his arms securely around her. Hermione clutched to his shirt. For the first time, she felt protected.
"Remus..."
"Yes, dear?" He said softly.
"I'm tired..."
"Very well." He picked her up as she wiggled against him. "Stop moving, or I'll drop you!" He said seriously and she stopped. He carried her to her room and laid her on her bed. Pulling the covers over her, he pulled out a nightie from her closet and switched the clothes with a wave of his wand. He leaned forward and kissed her forward. Before he could leave, he felt her small hand catch his own.
"Thank you..." She whispered before falling into a deep sleep.
He smiled and then walked out of the bedroom.
--
A few hours later, as dinner went by and all were asleep, Remus was laying in his bedroom thinking about the conversation and how he drove Hermione to breaking down. Of course, he was glad she finally let out what happened, but he wondered how long ago this happened, how long ago did she keep this inside of her ?
Suddenly, he heard a scream. He knew that scream. It was Hermione, rushing out bed, he ran to her room. Hermione was screaming and fighting off something. He walked over to her bed and caught, holding her tightly. Soon other people of the house arrived to her room.
"Hermione, dear, wake up!" Remus said loudly which made Hermione's eyes open wide.
She looked at Remus. Her protector was there. "Remus... It was horrible! I could feel his hands.... He was there, just like that very first night."
All others were confused. What was she talking about. Hermione saw the others and gasped. Remus turned and told them to leave the room. Mrs. Weasley was about to protest, when Remus growled at her. She was shocked by his reaction. All of them were actually.
"Get out! Now!" He ordered.
Without hesitation, they left the room. He released Hermione who circled her arms around herself as if to protect herself. He closed the door, warded it and placed a silencing charm on it. He walked back to Hermione.
"May I sit with you ?"
She nodded. He took a seat, and rested his back against the pillows. Hermione laid her head on his chest, clinging to his pyjama shirt. He rubbed her back soothingly. This was all too familiar to Hermione, the rubbing, the darkness. She was scared but at the same time, she wasn't. Something made her trust the man. He never did anything she disapproved of. He never hurt her voluntarily, or even unvoluntarily.
Remus could hear her heartbeat, it was fast from fear, but eventually settled down. Soon, he noticed she fell asleep. He stayed awake the whole night, rubbing her back, observing her in her sleep. How could someone so beautiful and so smart be so hurt ? He felt his anger boil again. Whoever did this to her best never come across his path... He thought.
--
A few weeks had gone by, and while Hermione still felt uncomfortable around men, around Remus she felt protected and knew he would never do anything to her. As the months went by, he showed her how a woman should be treated. He took her to diners, read books with her, bought her flowers.... He did everything a gentleman should do. In time, she had told him what her father did, and when he did it. He had felt so angry and wanted to look for Mr. Granger to kill the man. He had grown fond of the young witch, and quite honestly, Hermione's feelings for Remus had grown into newer proportions. She stopped him of course. She didn't like the idea of Remus maybe getting hurt. He was like her medicine, she needed him to feel confident and stronger than before.
Everyone around her noticed how she changed from being secretive to opening up revealing a true beautiful and honest smile. Everyone was pleased. She had passed her NEWTs with success, she was now an apprentice in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. She had been so grateful of Remus's help in her life, she wanted to succeed in making things better for his life.
One evening, after taking her out for diner and arriving back Grimmauld Place, they sat in the kitchen in silence. Remus had been very patient, but he really wanted to kiss her. Everything about her was inviting, and he wanted to taste that. But he didn't want to go too fast. He was afraid Hermione would fall back into her shell, and he didn't want that. So he did the only way he knew he could. He simply asked :
"Hermione..." She looked at him nervously. "May I kiss you?"
Her eyes widened and her heart began to race. But it wasn't fear. Well maybe it was, but it was mixed with excitement. She nodded simply, lost for words. He walked around the table and took a seat next to her. She bowed her head and he lifted it to meet those chocolate brown eyes he loved so dearly.
"Hermione, if you don't want to be -" But before he could finish his sentence, she took the initiative in kissing him.
Realizing what she did, she pulled back and gasped, placing a hand over her mouth. He chuckled. He removed her hand, and placed his two strong hands on each side of her face. He began to lean forward and Hermione's breath was caught in her throat. She felt butterflies in her stomach, her heart skipped a beat. And then his lips was upon hers. He was so soft, so gentle. She wanted to feel more from him, and without knowing, he parted her lips which gave him access to her mouth. He slid his tongue in and tasted every corner of her mouth. Hermione felt her body heating up at the intensity of the kiss, even moaning.
When she did, she pulled back blushing furiously. She actually enjoyed that kiss. Why did she enjoy it so much ? Why did she enjoy Remus's hands on her face ? Why did she want him to touch her elsewhere ? He looked at her and chuckled. She looked at him confused.
"Hermione... My dear Hermione. There is nothing wrong with you...." He began as if he was reading her mind. He leaned forward and whispered to her ear. "It's normal to want to feel loved."
His voice was so enticing, it sent shivers in her whole body. There was something inviting about him, she wanted to feel his hands. She wanted to know those hands weren't as rough as the hands she felt as a child. Without noticing it, she voiced her thoughts.
"Do you really want me to touch you?" He said as she looked at him, she realized she had spoken out loud. She nodded, biting her lower lip out of nervousity. His eyes glittered. She saw something in them, she never noticed before : lust, doubled with love. It frightened her, but excited her all at once. "Very well...I will make you see how a woman should really be treated." He whispered before picking her up, making her squeal, and walking up the stairs to his room.
As he entered, he gently put her on his bed and warded the door, silencing the room at the same time. He walked to the bed, and noticed Hermione starting to open her blouse. He grabbed her hands and stopped her.
"Tonight is all about you, yes, but I make the shots.... Don't fear to tell me if I am doing something wrong, understood?" She nodded. "Good.... Now relax..."
She huffed. It was easy for him to say that. He chuckled before capturing her mouth in a passionate kiss. He pushed onto the bed slowly while kissing her. He unbuttoned her shirt, very slowly, distracting her by kissing her neck. He pushed her blouse off, and tossed it aside, revealing her flat stomach, her firm breasts, her creamy skin. He looked at her, and she felt instantly conscious. She was about to cover herself when he caught her hands.
"You're beautiful..." He whispered into her ear before nibbling her making her gasp.
He continued kissing her along her neck then between her breasts, then down to her stomach. She felt like her body was on fire, she was enjoying the things he was doing to her. He unclasped her bra and tossed the annoying cloth aside. Now he could see her breasts. They were perfect. He captured one nipple with his mouth : sucking, nibbling, circling it with his tongue. Then took take of the other one. Hermione was enjoying it : moaning and telling him how good it felt. She felt a little embarassed at times, but he told to never fear telling her what she was thinking.
Eventually he got to her skirt, he unzipped it and slid it off her body. He could smell her arousal. The musky scent was driving him crazy. As he caressed her legs up to the band of her knickers, Hermione suddenly felt scared and stiffened lightly. This didn't go unnoticed to Remus. Deciding she needed a little more time to get used, he smirked at her and removed his shirt. She blushed and looked away.
"Look at me.... I want you to see who I am."
And so she did. She looked at his muscled, lean torso. It was filled with scars. He sat on the bed, and she did so too. She bit her lower lip. She wanted to touch him, to ease the pain. He took her small hand and brought it to his torso. "Touch me..." He whispered. And she did. She traced his scars, which made him close his eyes and enjoy the feeling, she crawled behind him and noticed the many more scars he had. Without thinking, she leaned forward and began kissing, licking his scars. He moaned until the touch of her tongue. Coming to the front again, she looked at him and said sadly :
"I'm sorry, you suffered so much, Remus..."
"I guess we understand each other then." He answered in a low voice.
And then she understood. Remus would never, ever hurt her. He knew pain. He knew it better than anyone that she's known. She felt like a heavy load she had been carrying on her shoulders was suddenly lighter. She didn't have to carry the pain alone. Neither did he. They could share the pain, and carry it together. She smiled at him, and kissed him passionately. He knew, now, she was ready for him.
While kissing her, he laid her back down and began his ministrations again : cherishing and loving her body like a queen. She felt that burning fire on her body again. He slid her knickers and was now faced to the one place she had been violated upon. Kissing her from her feet up to her thighs, he spread them lightly and placed himself in between. Hermione didn't know what he was about to do, he separated her lips and flipped his tongue across her clit. She bucked her hips which made him smirk. He continued licking, sucking, kissing her which made her moan in delight.
He rubbed a finger against her clit, and she knew what this meant. What had happened many years was about to happen again. But this time, it was going to be good. Her whole body was enjoying it. This would be pleasant. He thrust a finger in, and then another, and another. She was gripping the sheets as he pleasured her to oblivion. He thrusted her back and forth milking his fingers. Eventually, he started feeling her walls tightening around his fingers. But he felt resistance.
"Don't hold back, love... Come for me." He whispered.
One more lick of his tongue over her clit, and she was gone. She climaxed around his fingers, screaming his name, and her whole world shattered, leaving her only see stars. Her breathing was ragged as she looked down at him and blushed furiously. Of course, seing her blush and being pleasured turned him on, he was so hard now, it was painful in his own pants.
"Don't be ashamed. You're so beautiful when you scream my name." He said smirking.
She smiled sheepishly and then he hoisted himself closer to her. He opened his pants and slid them, along with his boxers. And while it was dark in the room, it was like she could see him. She noticed how huge he was. But then again, this was the first time since her father that she saw a cock. Would he be able to fit in her ? He saw the many questions running over her face. The more she stared, the more he felt excited. He enjoyed how she looked at him with interest. Realizing how long she had been staring at him, she looked away and blushed again.
"Sorry..." She whispered.
"Don't be. I like it when you look at me..." He whispered in her ear.
"Is it going to hurt ?" She asked suddenly.
"It will at first yes. But then the pain subsides, I promise." He was happy that she felt confident enough to voice her fears. It was important.
Then he began kissing her again, taking her mind off of what was about to happen below. It was only when she felt the tip of his cock at her entrance that she gasped. "Don't be scared to hold onto me, dug your nails into my skin if needed, and scream..." He whispered before thrusting forward in a sheer forced movement.
Hermione didn't hold back the scream, nor the tears. The pain was immense, and Remus just held onto her without moving. Eventually, the pain began to subside and she told him. He began slowly moving back and forth. There was still a slight discomfort but she soon felt something else. His pacing began to grow, and this other feeling followed. She felt it at the pit of her stomach, at her core. He knew she was starting to build up on a new orgasm. Soon, she followed his movements, which drove him crazy. She wanted him to go faster.
"Faster, Remusssss!" She yelled.
He was only happy to oblige. Along with going faster, he pushed harder inside her. This was the same feelings as earlier but with a thousand times more powerful. She gripped Remus as if holding him for dear life as he continued thrusting, harder, faster and deeper. Oh Merlin, she had no idea how good this could feel. Soon she felt her world coming to a close end, and he could feel it too. Her walls were starting to clamp down around his cock swallowing it. Eventually, she climaxed around his cock, her juices warm around him, as she screamed his name. He continued thrusting fast and hard as he felt he was about to come too. And he did, pouring his seed inside of her at the hilt.
He removed himself, and fell to the side : their breathing fast. Once they regained composure, Remus pulled Hermione against him rubbing her back soothingly.
"That was amazing, Hermione..." He whispered. "You were so beautiful."
She blushed. "You were quite the stallion yourself." She said looking to him who smirked proudly. "I enjoyed it..." She whispered looking away.
Lifting her chin and making her look at him, he said. "I'm glad, because I don't think I have had enough of you yet..." He winked at her making her gasp. He chuckled and soon they fell asleep in each other's arms. Content, happy and in love.
Remus had brought Hermione back to life....
A/N : There you go. :) Well some things, of course, I didn't inspire from my real life, but the first part is. Anyways.... Review if you'd like XD