A burst of white light erupted and from it floated a tall man dressed in white robes. He glided downward until He settled in front of a haggard man with arms chained to the ceiling. The man was shirtless and had a name tag reading "Hello, I'm Steve" pinned into the flesh above his left nipple. God scrunched His face at the stench of burnt flesh and the hideous screeching that filled the cavernous room. Steve merely stared blankly at the divine figure before him, breaking eye contact only to flinch as the whip struck his back for what felt like the thousandth time but was likely the millionth.
God raised a hand, motioning for the demon to cease the torture. The horned monstrosity gave one last longing glance at his prisoner's bleeding form before disappearing in a puff of sulfur. An awkward silence enveloped the two remaining beings as God nervously shifted from one immaculate foot to the other. Giving a small cough He finally spoke, "Well, umm, Steve, is it? Y'see, I've come to, uhh, well let's just say that I'm here to right a wrong."
Steve hung silently from his chains, his dull gaze never left God's face. His stay in Hell had long since broken any hope he had had for salvation. This was probably just another hallucination… like that one time when he had had an in depth discussion on the pros and cons of bondage sex with Angelina Jolie. That was a nice hallucination.
God shifted a bit and played with the smooth fabric of His sleeves, obviously uncomfortable with the lack of reaction. Humans had spoiled His Grace over the eons, He had become used to being welcomes with cheers, smiles and occasionally epilepsy. His gaze swept around the cavernous room, refusing to meet Steve's eyes. "Look, you're not supposed to be here. In Hell, I mean. There was this… filing error and, well, you know how these things go." Awkward chuckle. "The error was only recently" cough "brought to my attention and I just wanted to apologize to you in person for all of this...mess and bother."
With a snap of his heavenly fingers the chains that had viciously worn the flesh from Steve's wrists for nearly a decade were gone. Without their support, Steve stumbled for several seconds until he was able to stand on his own. Seconds turned to minutes and the silence stretched on, neither knowing how to break it.
God delicately rested a hand on Steve's blood soaked shoulder. "Everything'll be alright now. We have this nice penthouse set up for you in Heaven and we've even equipped you're TV with the Earth channel so you can see what's goin' on if you like. You'll love it." God looks at the ceiling for a few seconds before glancing at Steve's once handsome face. "Look, if you could just...not mention this to anyone I would be extremely grateful. I mean, I'm God, I'm kinda not supposed to have any faults and this would reflect really poorly on me."
Steve was still except for a brief second in which he blinked. God, in a desperate attempt to end the awkward conversation, took this eye twitch as acceptance and with a hearty laugh he clapped Steve on the back. "Glad we could get this worked out. Hope there aren't any ill feelings. I'd hate for you to not enjoy Heaven to it's fullest because of this little... fiasco." He waggles his fingers.
Steve grunted as pain flared in the welts on his back. Then paused as the pain gave his mind the jolt it needed to pull its remaining pieces back together. He took a careful step back from His mighty presence and looked up at Him. God waited expectantly for the thank you, adoration, and possible seizure that was sure to come.
Steve's legs wobbled as he gazed upon God's image. "You bloody prick."