Welp, I was hungry and messing around with plates earlier when this came into my head.
I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.
Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck. All I owns in my newest fantroll, Tefnut Sekmet.
"Beep beep mother**er!" Gamzee yelled, turning the wheel to avoid hitting someone.
"Uh, Gamzee?" Tavros asked from his seat behind Gamzee. "I, uh, don't want to mess up your, uh, driving, but where are we, going, exactly?"
"Well Tavbro," Gamzee explained as he ran a stop sign. "we're all up and going to get our mother**ing naptime mats."
"But wwhy are wwe lettin you drive?!" Eridan asked from his seat in the back of the bus.
"Because I called mother**ing dibs, Ampora." Gamzee swerved, making everyone either fall out of their seats or smush into a window.
Karkat was extremely ticked off right now. "Gamzee, first off, we're not in a **ing bus. This is just a 2#17load of chairs from the **ing drawing tables and you turning a **ing plate in a **ing circle over and over again." Karkat yelled. "Second, you're not even on the **ing road anymore! We're in a **ing hospital!"
Gamzee stared out the window. "Huh. So we mother**ing are."
Suddenly, the bus was yanked backwards. A small girl who looked incredibly fancy walked up to Gamzee and glared at him through the window. She moved her mouth, but didn't make a sound. Gamzee smiled and rolled the window down. "Yeah mother**er?" He asked.
"First, my name is Kanaya, not that curse. Second, you do realize you're driving your vehicle in a health building, correct?" She asked.
"Of course I mother**ing do." Gamzee replied.
"Do you not understand my patients are trying to get their needed resting time?" The girl seemd like she was trying to retain her anger.
Gamzee looked at the floor. "Not really."
Kanaya made a noise of thought. "You know, I may allow you and your aquaintances to leave..." She paused for effect. "...if you let me take a blood sample."
Every raised an eyebrow. Gamzee just chuckled. "Now, why would you all up and wanna do that?" He asked.
The girl looked left and right. She leaned into the window and whispered "Because I am a vampire."
Gamzee honked. Everyone on the bus laughed. Whenever Gamzee was really happy, he honked, and everyone else felt happy. "Of course little mother**er. Drink my mother**ing blood and be mother**ing merry."
Kanaya smiled, revealing two sharp canines. She lunged at Gamzee's arm and bit through the skin. Everyone gasped, but Gamzee just smiled, trying to reassure everyone he was okay.
"Kanaya!"
The girl turned to face the daycare worker, some blood still on her teeth. "Yes Miss Tefnut?"
The teenager crouched in front of Kanaya. "What have I told you about biting the other kids?"
The girl looked towards the floor. "It is not polite and may cause the spread of tiny germ monsters."
Tefnut nodded. She walked over to Gamzee. "Are you okay little boy?"
Gamzee nodded. "Yeah, I'm all up and fine right here. Nothing to mother**ing worry about."
Tefnut gasped.
Five minutes later
"I'm sorry Gamzee, but we don't allow pottymouths here." Tefnut apologized.
Gamzee was unable to reply because he had a bar of soap in his mouth.
"Now, when you feel liek you are able to speak like a good little boy, you may take the soap out of your mouth and throw it away." She walked back to the play area, not noticing Kanaya hiding behind a coat. As soon as Tefnut had left, she walked over to Gamzee. He didn't seem up set at her presence, so she took it as a good sign.
"I apologize for my behavior earlier." She said. "It was entirely my fault, and now you are ingesting soap molecules."
Gamzee shook his head and took the bar of so- wait, was that chocolate?! He had chocolate in his mouth the whole time?! Well that was unexpected.
Kanaya grinned, showing her fangs again. "You truely are a part of employment, aren't you?"
Gamzee chuckled. "Sis, I don't even understand what the ** you just said.
And they were friends forever after, even though Kanaya kept trying to bite Gamzee's arm multiple times after that.