Ah! I do love a new story to work on, especially when it's as much fun to write as this one.
Disclaimer: Look, I think by now we know that anyone writing on this website doesn't own the characters and doesn't make any money out of this, so I don't think we'll bother with explaining it again, will we? Although we just did with that very statement. Damn it!
Summary: Its April fool's day and Fred and George are on the warpath. And who should the poor defenceless targets be, other than our darlings Percy and Oliver? What follows is utter carnage, and some wonderful Fred and George moments, even if I do say so myself. Read and enjoy.
Warnings: Um…there's always the possibility of some bad words being used when I'm in charge. And this could possibly turn out to be slash, Percy/Oliver, near the end. Not sure. I have not yet progressed to the extremity of twincest, in case you thought that was the pairing.
Dedication: For Mel (aka – Veritas Indolentia Adamo), my partner in all things slashy!
Notes: This is to test my levels of self control. I'm going to see if I can write a fic with hinted slash all the way through and still keep the guys heterosexual at the end. I may or may not be unhealthily addicted to slash pairings, you see. But you guys don't need to know that. Just enjoy the story as a story and leave me nice reviews telling me what you think.
0o0o0
Oliver shambled up the stairs and paused in front of the Fat Lady, massaging a troublesome ache out of his neck.
"Password, dear?" she inquired.
He groaned, "Um...puffskein?"
"Close enough!" The Fat Lady cooed sympathetically as she swung open, permitting the bedraggled boy entrance. He gave a faint smile of thanks before clambering in through the portrait, stumbling through the Common Room and lumbering up the stairs to the dormitory he shared with Percy. His room mate barely glanced up as the Quidditch Captain collapsed face down on his bed and let out one long, exasperated moan.
"Hard practice?" he asked. His voice was muffled by the dusty textbook he had his head buried in.
"Mmwa mmrgh!" came the reply.
"What was that?"
Oliver sighed and with tremendous effort rolled onto his back. "I said it was the worst!"
Percy smirked. "Well Oliver, you've got to expect to be pushed harder right now. The House Tournament is coming up and you can't afford to be slack." Oliver grimaced as his own words came and bit him on the nose.
"I suppose that sardonic quotation means I can't spend the next ten minutes complaining to you about how knackered I am in order to make myself feel better?"
"No." Percy snapped his book shut and straightened out his robes. "I've got enough problems of my own to worry about right now." Oliver propped himself up on his elbows, suddenly very interested in Percy.
"What kind of problems?"
The red head smiled. "None as of yet, but they're coming. Everyday I wake up closer to some great disaster, and I've got to work out how to avoid it."
Oliver was confused. "What on earth are you on about Weasley?" he demanded. Percy rolled his eyes and pointed to the calendar hanging on the wall.
"Tomorrow is April Fools day, idiot! Fred and George have been snickering behind my back and giving me strange looks for weeks. I just know they're going all out this year. I've got this awful feeling it's going to be absolutely dreadful!" Percy scowled as his imagination cooked up visions of horrific pranks and other such tomfoolery that was soon to be inflicted upon him by those awful twins whom he was forced to call his brothers. He failed to notice Oliver smirking, obviously amused at his friend's upcoming humiliation.
The next day, Fred and George were up at the crack of dawn, struggling to suppress whoops of delight. April 1st was their favourite day of the year; it was a day made especially for them, and this year they were making the absolute most of it. Percy was their prime target, as per usual, but this year there was only one other person they were interested in making suffer right along with him: Oliver Wood. Oh yes, you simply cannot put the mighty Weasley twins through four hours of muddy hell every week and get away with it, even if it is for Quidditch.
So it was that Fred and George set to work, putting together a double prank that would humiliate both Oliver and Percy in one fell swoop. It wasn't their most clever escapade, nor was it their most flamboyant, but it was guaranteed to inflict the most uncomfortable-ness possible. Because you are never more uncomfortable than when you think that your male room mate is in hopelessly love with you.
"Hey, Fred?" said George as he looked up from his piece of parchment and chewed his quill thoughtfully.
"Yes George?" said Fred, deliberately mimicking his brother.
"Do you think 'My aching heart pines for you and your sensual body...' is going a bit too far?"
Fred blinked a few times before answering. "Yes. Yes I do." George nodded and went back to scratching away with his quill. After a few seconds he paused again and resumed his previous pensive pose.
"Hey, Fred?"
"Yes George?"
"Do you think doing this makes me look sophisticated?"
"No, you look like a prat." Fred replied nonchalantly. George nodded and returned once more to his parchment. Within a few minutes they had both thrown down their quills and swapped notes. Once finished reading, they both grinned at each other and eagerly put the notes in envelopes.
"Those two aren't gonna know what hit them!" Fred smirked. He handed his note to George, who then scampered off to deliver his cargo. He suddenly felt the urge to let out a hearty evil laugh, but resisted for fear of entering into a cliché, thankfully.
The light was way too bright. It was burning Oliver's eyes, so he turned over and buried his face in his pillow. Ahhh...much better. Now he could drift off back to sleep.
Bonk!
Maybe not.
"Wake up Oliver!" Percy yawned, having just leapt out of bed. He stretched his long gangly limbs and padded into the bathroom. Oliver chose not to move, instead surrendering to the warmth of his blankets and wrapping then tightly around him. He had been having the most wonderful dream. He couldn't remember a thing about it, but it was wonderful. It had left him all fuzzy and dazed, halfway between sleep and consciousness. Right now he knew which he would rather be experiencing.
"Come on! Get up!" Percy shrilled, shattering all that was left of Oliver's fuzzy dream world. Damn him!
"Alright, Mr Preppy! I'm friggin' up!" he growled. He tried unsuccessfully to shake off the blankets, and alternatively ended up falling off the bed. That didn't help his mood.
"Come on Oliver, if you don't shake yourself up then you'll never get to fly today." Percy clucked as he helped Oliver onto his feet. The brunette had been ready to punch him in the face for being so darn chirpy, but the mention of flying had brightened his foul mood considerably, just as Percy had known it would. Years of sharing a dorm with Oliver had made him an expert at handling his grouchy side, especially in the mornings.
"Why're you so damn chirpy in the mornings, Perce?" Oliver rubbed his gunky eyes and sat down on his bed again, knowing full well that Percy would answer his question with a smug look and then make his bed before leaving for breakfast. Dear Percy and his beloved routine... Right on cue, Percy shot Oliver a smug look, then started smoothing down sheets and beating pillows. Oliver chuckled as he ambled into the bathroom for a shower, shrugging off his boxers as he went. You could set a watch by that guy, he thought.
Percy was going about making his bed as usual, smirking at Oliver's emerald green novelty boxers with the garish golden snitches dotted all over. They never failed to make him laugh.
Plop.
Something fell to the floor as Percy seized his pillow. He stooped down and picked it up, feeling smooth parchment between his fingers. On the envelope, familiar scratchy letters formed the words 'To Percy' and an elegant flourish underscored them. Curious, Percy tore the seal open and eagerly unfolded the letter inside. As he read his eyes went wide with horror.
My dearest Percy,
I'm not sure how to say this, but I feel that after all these years of lying to myself, I owe it to both you and me to tell you what I have known for quite some time now: I'm gay. To be more precise, I'm gay for you. I can't help it. You're so damn sexy, with your beautiful red hair and your deep brown eyes. I love it when you frown at me when I shirk my homework, because you have the cutest frown ever. It just makes me want to kiss you. I know you're probably horrified to hear this, but it was either this letter or a surprise in the shower one day. I figured a letter would increase the chances of you not completely hating me afterwards.
The thing is Percy; it's more than just physical attraction. If it was just that then Fred and George would be getting a letter each because, let's face it, they are two sex bombs just waiting to go off! (A/n - these twins are modest, aren't they?) The point is Percy, I think I love you. No, I know I love you, and I can't live without you. My life would be empty and cold the very second you left it, but I understand if you don't feel the same way. Meet me at the lake after lunch and we can talk properly.
Love from,
Oliver
xxx
Percy managed to stay upright for a full thirty seconds before the shock reached his brain and he fainted.
0o0o0
FEEDBACK! GIVE ME FEEDBACK! Did I get the twins right? Did Percy and Oliver seem in character? Does it make sense that Percy and Oliver have an entire dorm room between them? I won't know unless you, the experts, tell me, you lovely people you!
Remmy: (giggles) I'm glad you liked that bit. I love putting little things like that in for the readers. And you think it's cute too! Thank you! (huggles)
Veritas: Of course it's dedicated to you! Who else would it be dedicated to? I practically wrote this little ditty for you honey (as a cunning ploy to distract you from the absence of an A Snake Among The Lions update). Aw, you think the last line was stroke of pure genius? (sniffles) Thank you! Pablo in his own body? Hmm…yes…once the chaos and pandemonium subsided that would be pretty cool. Thankies for dropping by, and the MCR crew appreciate your regards, or at least they would if I knew them and told them you sent your regards.
ATadObsessive46: Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Entertaining people with my writing is what I live for! Thank you so much for both your time and you kind words. I love you! (huggles) Ahem…sorry.
Shinigami: OMG poor you. I can't imagine what it must feel like to be the victim of something like that, especially around that time. You must have been terrified! And I know love letters are far from funny, which is why those evil twins are going to get their comeuppance as soon as Percy and Oliver figure out what's going on. Or at least Percy will, 'coz he's a bright lad. Trust me, the yolks gonna be on them. I hope you stick around till then, and thanks for taking the time to review.
johncenaluver2004: I nailed the twins? Yay! Thank you! (dances round room) I was worried I hadn't. I was more worried about Oliver, but as you said I got everyone perfect I'm just gonna sit here and grin (sits and grins). You can see the twins doing this? Yay! I'm so happy that this is believeable! Thank you! Woot!
Golden Lass: Hilarious? Well, I do try. (smirks) Thank you! I assure you, it's gonna keep going, coz Veritas won't let me not keep going. Thanks for taking the time to review! I love every single person who reviews!
Silver Mirror: Yes, I guess it does make sense. I also read another fic somewhere (it's probably in my favourites) that explained them sharing a dorm room by saying that it was because Oliver was Quidditch captain and Percy was head Boy so they got a special room to themselves. But thank you for reviewing and giving me your opinion. The more people tell me the less insecure I feel about it.