Chuck vs. the Sleepover
It was so awkward having her over here. I knew nothing was going to happen, we'd done this before.
It was just so hard for me, the way I felt.... Why? Why did it have to be my body that carried these secrets, my mind that was the asset?
I just wanted to be a normal guy, with a life and a family, a wife and children.
And now I have the most beautiful of creations in my room and she wasn't even really my love, though she was the one my heart longed for.
And here she was, asleep on my chest, and she had no idea how I felt. Having her here near me felt good, right. I didn't want anything more, just someone to love me so completely. I just wish that someone could be her.
Was it this hard for her? Did she share my feelings? Or was I just some nerdy guy to her? I never could tell.
I absently run my fingers through her corn silk hair then jerk away. What if something as innocent as playing with her hair was inappropriate? Was I crossing the line just holding her like I nearly was now?
She was my handler. I'm just the Intersect.
And though I can't deny that having her head laying on my chest feels remarkable, I know it's unintentional and she means nothing by it.
So I just lay here, breathing slowly, evenly, as to not wake her lovely sleeping form, and slowly drift off myself hoping one day this will be for real.