It wasn't as hard as she thought it would be, Hitomi realized as she thought back to the past three years. The first three months were excruciating, however, she had felt out of place and lost. Everything was exactly the same as she had left it on Earth, her family, her friends, her school, but not her. Hitomi's adventure had changed her forever, and the switch from Gaea back to Earth confused her to a point where she thought she couldn't take it anymore.
--
"Hitomi, are you alright?" Yukari asked once more as they walked home together after a particularly long day at school and track practice.
"Fine!" Hitomi chirped a little too quickly and very unconvincingly, Yukari frowned in response.
"It's him, isn't it? Hitomi I thought you said you still see him? Why are you still so sad?" Yukari exclaimed and the light brown haired girl stopped abruptly. Yukari quickly turned around to look at her.
"It's not like with you and Amano, Yukari!" Hitomi said, clenching her fists. Amano had left for England a month after her own return, with Hitomi's graces he and Yukari became involved and were now in a long distance relationship. Yukari said that it was the way Hitomi had talked about 'that guy from the weird place' that gave her the courage to even try making it work with Amano.
"Hitomi…?"
"At least you can talk to Amano! Van can see me, but.. but sometimes I want to hear his voice, I just want…" She stopped as tears began to slide down her cheeks. Yukari's eyes softened and she ran to embrace her best friend.
"Oh Hitomi, I know how hard it is for you." She whispered and felt like crying as well, Yukari knew how hard Hitomi to not show how much she ached for that world, for Gaea, but Yukari could see the signs. It broke her heart to see her friend in such a state.
They stood there for a while, thankful that the afternoon rush had long past and no one could see them before Hitomi sighed and pulled away.
"I'm sorry Yukari," she said while wiping away the tears from her face. "I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm just a little.. Stressed, that's all."
"I know, I know." Yukari smiled reassuringly. "It'll get better, I promise." Hitomi nodded and looked at her watch, blinking as if wondering if she had misread the time.
"Oh no! Yukari, I gotta go, we have all that homework remember?" Yukari blanched visibly as she recalled the piles of papers due in the morning.
"Oh no," groaned the brunette. "At least your families out of town, I have to baby sit my cousins tonight too! Auughh." Hitomi laughed and Yukari bid her farewell before Hitomi made the mad dash home, hoping to get as much time as possible to finish her essays.
--
Late that evening, Hitomi finally finished her homework but found she could not calm herself enough to fall asleep; instead she contented herself with sitting on her balcony and staring at the stars.
"Van…" She said softly and closed her eyes. Three months had past since he had sent her back to Earth, and it had only gotten harder each day. In the beginning she thought she understood why she had not been allowed to stay, but the more she thought about it, the more she confused herself with facts and fantasy. Did he love her? She thought he did. Every chance he got he would watch her, and she would do her best to smile and say 'I'm doing okay.' She was 'okay', she supposed. Seeing him always gave her insurmountable joy, if only for a few moments. He remembered her! Van must have been incredibly busy, with the reconstruction Fanelia she knew the young King must hardly sleep, as evident by his appearance some times when he watched her for long periods. She would berate him, and he would smile, and try to say something but only falter when he remembered she could not hear him. Or touch him. She found her self missing his embraces most of all, sensations of when she clung to his back while flying on Escaflowne, or his strong arms as they protected her from a coming attack, getting her out of harms way.
Maybe it was because she never told him in plain words exactly what he meant to her. At the time she was sure he knew, and she knew he loved her in turn, why else would h have done all that he did for her? Why else would everyone look at the two of them knowingly, or even sometimes with jealousy. Right now, though, she felt she had cheated Van by not telling him she loved him as they flew away from Zaibach, or kissing him when she had the chance. While she regretted it now, she knew it would have made the separation that much worse.
"Hitomi? What's wrong?" The voice, it sounded so concerned, so worried. Hitomi's widened to the point where they just might pop out of her head.
Pleaseberealpleaseberealpleasebere-"Hitomi!" Van spun her around and looked straight at her eyes, he looked almost scared.
"Van!" She cried and launched herself into his arms that reacted quickly and held her up as she nearly lost her footing. She was squeezing him so hard and yet she felt she could not possibly get as close as she wanted to be to him. She was crying? Why, she was so.. so relieved! She heard his voice, he was here with her! Or was he? She didn't think it was possible, she would have noticed the bright blue light that accompanied Gaean/Earth travels, and she made it a point to look out for it. Then how was he here? Oh she really didn't care, she realized as she breathed in his scent. The reminder of the way he smelled nearly made her believe she was on Gaea, the smell of fields as wind rushed through them.
"Hitomi, don't cry," Van's voice said as it broke through her thoughts. "What's wrong? Hitomi please don't cry." It made her heart weep. How could he be so concerned for her?
"Oh, Van." She looked up at him, taking in his face. "I missed you." She whispered burying her face back into his chest.
"Hitomi.." His voice softened, but he frowned as he felt the bare skin of her arm. "You're freezing!" He shouted, almost accusingly.
"Oh? I hadn't noti—Van!" She yelped as he scooped her up in his arms and walked through the open sliding door of her bedroom. He placed her firmly in her bed, tucking her blankets in so tight she could only wriggle a little. He then left her and looked perplexed at the glass door. "Just grab the black handle and slide it closed, Van." He followed her instructions and returned to her side, kneeling by her bed as she shifted so she was able to look at him.
"Will you.." Van could see the blood rush to her face even in the darkness of the room. "Will you hold me, please? I'm still a little cold." She lied, while still cold she hardly cared, but if the excuse worked, she could care less. Van didn't hesitate for a moment, she moved to accommodate him, though her bed was so small that there were many awkward movements before they became comfortable, with Van somehow ending up below her in the blankets and she became vaguely aware that her was both simultaneously still wearing his boots and without a shirt, as he always was when he visited her.
They were like that for a long time and Hitomi almost fell asleep listening to Van's rhythmic heartbeat and breathing as his hand played with the hair at the base of her neck.
"Hitomi, why were so sad?" Van spoke, and Hitomi froze for a moment.
"I-..It's nothing really, it doesn't matter anymore, anyways." She smiled for a moment, "I just missed you so much, Van. I could see you but.. I missed your voice, I missed.. This.. I—"
"Hitomi I love you." Her breathing hitched and her eyes darted up to Van's, which looked down at her such intensity. Her own lips curved upwards into a smile she couldn't suppress.
"I love you too, Van." He seemed almost, relieved? She was shocked; it was almost like he thought she would reject him! "I love you so much." She whispered, a little embarrassed by her boldness, but her needed to know.
"Hitomi, I…" He paused, trying to find the right words, "I missed you too." He said finally, and it was clear this wasn't exactly what he had wanted to say.
"But.. How are you here?" Hitomi asked and she held onto him just a little tighter, as if by questioning his existence he would disappear and this would all be just a dream. It wouldn't be the first time, but then again, this felt far more realistic than just a simple dream.
"I could feel how sad you were," He frowned and twirled a piece of heir around his finger. "I wanted.. more, than just seeing you, and I wished, I wished really hard that I could be with you." He sat up and dragged her up to him, so that they were now face-to-face "Hitomi, can I..?" But Van's words died on the spot as his face inched closer to Hitomi's and he could feel her soft breath on his face.
"Van," She said breathily before they finally connected and she could feel his heart beat and he could feel her need and they could feel their love for one another, it was breath taking. So breath taking in fact that they had to break apart before they suffocated themselves. Panting softly, Van leaned his forehead against hers and murmured soft words that she could barely hear.
"I've waited so long to do that, Hitomi." She smiled and kissed his nose.
"Then please, by no means wait so long to do it again." He laughed, a sweet baritone chuckle that Hitome struggled to remember if she had ever heard before, but her thoughts were cut off by another, albeit less intense, kiss.
"Hitome, I'm not sure how I'm here, but I know that I'll have to go back, soon." Van could see the panic flash in her eyes but he was quick to calm her. "I promise you I'll come back whenever I can, I don't think this is impossible to do again." She relaxed. He was so sure of this fact; she couldn't help but believe him heart and soul.
"You better." She muttered and her eyes drooped. How late was it? She felt as Van laid her down and slid in besides her, holding her gently before whispering in her ear.
"I'll be gone in the morning, but I'll be back when I can," Hitomi nodded, unable to keep her eyes open any longer she finally surrendered to a dreamless sleep.
--
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP SMACK
"Nnnn, stupid thing, it's so early why do I have to wake up?" Hitomi groaned as she crawled out of her blankets but paused as she felt the light tickle of a singular pure white feather on her skin.
"So it wasn't a dream.." Hitomi felt herself smile to the point her cheeks hurt and she laughed. "It wasn't a dream!"
"Hitomi?"
Yukari asked extremely surprised at her friend's cheerful arrival
at the train station. "You look happy," she paused. "And like
you didn't sleep a wink, are you delirious or something from all
that homework?"
"Something like that," Hitomi chirped. No
further questions could be asked, however, as the train rolled in and
the two students boarded.
'I promise I'll be back'
'I look foreword to it, Van.'