Author's Note: So it says it's finished, but if readers leave reviews saying they want more I'll add another diary entry to the story. I just didn't want to do overkill since I'm being really sarcastic, and I for one can get tired of sarcasm pretty fast so I didn't want to have a 30 page story full of this. It might have made some people sick. :D (also, I'm one of those people who has ADHD without actually having ADHD so I couldn't focus long enough to write more than one. :D)
Saturday, January 8th
Dear Diary,
Okay, I knew this town was going to be weird. It feels like it's for little kids; it celebrates holidays that make no real sense and this town is full of talking animals. Awesome in theory… not so awesome in real life. It makes it harder to tell when you're high.
So, not quite knowing what to expect, I walk outside today and everyone's skipping around singing. Freaking singing. This isn't High School Musical or Grease, or even Glee. This is Saturday, January eighth.
I wander over to the bulletin board in the hopes of figuring out what in the hell is going on. Oh, great! It's La-Di-Da-Day. Well, let me get into the spirit, then! La-Di-Fricking-Da! And the animals are asking me to choose their song as the 'town tune'. What in the hell is a town tune? Whatever it is, since this town seems to change everything in accordance to my will, I probably made it. Therefore, I like it. So please... stop harassing me.
Oh yeah, and that annoying catch phrase that horse Victoria is constantly saying? 'Sugar cube', I believe? Ditch that, please. And that weird Spanish fighter mask you constantly wear.
Oh, come on. I'm trying to fall asleep here! Why can't you animals shut up? I'M NOT PICKING YOUR TUNE. Also, Insurance Agent guy. It's eleven at night; you can go now. I'm not buying any bee sting insurance. It's not that bad when I get stung, okay?
Another thing I learned today, diary? That Tom Nook guy; he's a total cheapskate. He wouldn't pay for my pitfall seeds! I mean, seriously - there's nothing wrong with them. Nothing. I got some real good laughs out of that trick. Did you not see those guys flailing around breaking a sweat because they were waist deep in a hole they couldn't just hoist themselves out of? I at least got myself out. I didn't even know I could front flip like that. Or that the holes magically fill back up when you flip out of them.
Now that I think about it, I may actually be on drugs. I hope so. That means this will all have been a bad dream.
Author's note: Guess what? There's a review button...right there. CLICK IT PLEASE. :)