Rukia couldn't believe what she'd just done. Her best friend, the man she loved, was now trapped in Sode no Shirayuki's pillar of ice. A small crack formed along the surface of the pillar, rousing her attention. With a growl of disgust, she threw Sode no Shirayuki onto the ground, running towards the boy she'd imprisoned in her attack. What have I done...? What have I done?! Why did it happen? Why!?
"Ichigo!" she cried, touching his unblinking, still face through the clear crystal. "Ichigo... no. Please, no. You can't..." she whimpered. Cracks snaked further up the cold edifice as her fingers brushed at it helplessly. "Ichigo! Move!" She was blown backwards by the strength of the explosion, the ice pillar shattering to pieces. "Ichigo!" Rukia fell to her knees, groping around the pieces of ice. Bits of Ichigo, eyes, lips, hands, fingers, torso, legs, arms... She assembled them frantically like doll parts. Tears streamed from her eyes. She ran, as fast and as hard as she could until she found the person she needed.
"Orihime! Please help me; it's Ichigo!" the redhead followed her to the sight of Ichigo in puzzle parts. "You have to heal him, please." Orihime did as ordered. She remembered how awful it was, seeing him dead when Grimmjow took her to him. This was worse. Fifteen minutes of raw, throat shredded sobs from Rukia until Ichigo's fragments were connected with each other again. And another twenty of deadly silence before the light was present in eyes and the ice slid away from his flesh. He gasped suddenly, taking the first breath after 45 minutes of certain death. Rukia threw herself upon him, crying and whispering "I'm sorry," over and over again. Ichigo held her close, but didn't understand that the deep, dreamless sleep he'd been in was death. Orihime suddenly seemed to understand the situation.
"You..." she whispered, stepping back from the two of her friends. "You killed Kurosaki-kun?" Rukia choked her words out.
"It was an accident... I had launched my attack towards the enemy, but Ichigo caught in the middle." she reached for her friend, but Orihime stepped further away.
"No! You killed Kurosaki-kun! You shattered him into a million pieces!"
"Oi! She didn't do it on..." Orihime shook her head at Ichigo and stared right at Rukia as she spoke.
"You're worse than Ulquiorra!" she screamed, running from the two of them.
The next day...
Rukia didn't get out of bed. She hadn't slept, she wouldn't eat, and the images of Ichigo in fragments wouldn't stop playing in her head. Orihime's words wouldn't leave her alone either. She didn't even want to be free of her gigai, and she hated how out of sync the shell's response was to her movements. She couldn't stand being in her Shinigami form, having to bear the weight of Sode no Shirayuki at her hip. She dreaded the moment her phone would buzz with a text or call from Soul Society, informing her of a nearby Hollow or wandering soul. She felt like she herself might become either of the two, if she wasn't already a soul inhabiting a false body. You killed Kurosaki-kun! You killed Kurosaki-kun! You're worse than Ulquiorra! Over and over again in her head. It's all my fault... it's all my fault... I could mess up again and do the same thing. It's all my fault! Rukia yelped in surprise as her phone buzzed. She didn't bother looking at the caller ID.
"Hello?" She managed, barely above a whisper.
"Rukia." The voice was soft, almost kind in how it addressed her. She near didn't recognise it.
"Nii-sama?" she must have sounded like the smallest child on Earth.
"Rukia. Why are you upset over Kurosaki Ichigo? He's fine now, am I correct?"
"I killed him!" she said breathily, voice shrill. "He died, as in had no heartbeat and no pulse for near an hour. And it was all over a stupid mistake! I..."
"Exactly." Byakuya interrupted. "It was a mistake. It's not your fault." his tone like a father comforting his daughter after a nightmare.
"Nii-sama..." she murmured, clutching the phone tightly.
"I know hearing that it isn't entirely your fault won't just erase the way you feel about what happened. But I think you can compose yourself and suppress your hatred for a few minutes to perform some soul burials."
"Hai, Nii-sama." Rukia did as instructed, pressing the hilt of her Zanpakutou into the forehead of the few souls in town that required it. She wondered, momentarily, if she could use a soul burial on herself, and start over. Her communicator rang this time, loudly, as she returned home to indulge her curiosity.
"Nii-sama!" she exclaimed, probably sounding guiltier than anyone he'd heard in the process of judgement.
"Try Kuchiki-Taicho, if you want to 'start over' so badly. I don't want you to fight any Hollow that will be showing up today."
"But!"
"I said no. You're too unstable for that. Ichigo is competent enough to handle them on his own."
"Ichigo..." Rukia echoed his name, voice tight with tears.
"You still can't the incident, nor do you believe it's not your fault he died? You watched him brought back to life as well, just in case you forgot that part."
"But it wasn't me! I didn't heal him, I couldn't have. If it weren't for Orihime..."
"Do you love Kurosaki Ichigo?" Byakuya asked straightforwardly, voice serious as anything. Rukia could only be silent. "Rukia, do you love Kurosaki Ichigo?" he repeated.
"...Yes." she said quietly, voice filled with some shame that her affections were for someone Byakuya didn't always approve of.
"Then act how he'd want you to act if you think there's even a chance he feels the same. Hell, act like it never happened and move on because you're my pride, a member of the Kuchiki clan. You're my sister... I won't allow you to suffer because you accidentally hurt someone you love."
"Hai, Nii-sama." she'd just heard everything she could ever want to hear from Byakuya in the last century they'd been siblings.
"Ichigo should be arriving home very soon. You have my approval in telling him how you feel."
"Arigato." Rukia hung up. "I love you too, brother." his voice had been thick with emotion while he had told her to forgive herself. He didn't need his composure broken by the same lines she was about to speak to Ichigo. Rukia took a deep breath, counting the seconds it took for everything to occur, from the sound of the front door opening. 1...Ichigo taking off his shoes and closing the door. 5...His sock covered feet padding along the floor and reaching the stairs. 10...Walking up the flight of stairs. 10... Opening the door to his room and closing it, reaching her closet and opening her door.
"Rukia," his voice was so soft with empathy. "Please don't stay in there all day." She hopped out of her closet, sitting on Ichigo's bed, and he followed suit.
"Ichigo. My brother and I talked about what happened on the communicator, and he helped me sort this out."
"What did he say?" Ichigo asked quietly, knowing how much her brother disapproved of him and how cold he could be with his words.
"He told me it's not my fault. It was a mistake and I shouldn't be this upset because you're okay now."
"He's right."
"But Ichigo. I was really upset over it because of how I feel about you. We've been through so much together, done so many fun things together, and even lived together for a while now."
"Rukia, what are you trying to say." Ichigo asked, his hand on hers.
"I couldn't handle it if we were suddenly ripped apart. Nii-sama asked me if I love you... I do. That's why I'm trying to put this behind me. Because I know if you love me also, you wouldn't want me to be consumed by this." she was crying now, tears of joy, fear, and hope all at once. Ichigo brushed away the tears with his finger, staring at her with a kind expression.
"Baka... how could I not love you back?" he kissed her, cupping her chin in his fingers and laying her back on the bed. It was chaste, innocent kissing at first, but Rukia slid her tongue into Ichigo's mouth, and he pushed a knee between her thighs, rubbing her teasingly. Rukia pulled Ichigo's hair slightly, making circles in his mouth with her tongue. He tugged her lip in his teeth, provoking a gasp as rubbed more persistently between her thighs while kissing her. Rukia pulled Ichigo's shirt from his body, feeling his toned, well sculpted body in her fingers. Her dress was discarded, leaving her in just a striped indigo and white panty set. Ichigo laughed, tracing the material in his fingers.
"W-What's so funny?" Rukia stuttered, blushing with embarrassment.
"They match your eyes." he said, making her blush harder as he slid his hand inside her panties. She leaned back into the pillow as Ichigo pulled the material away, and caressed her warm flower. Rukia gasped as he pushed a finger inside of her, gradually, another added every every few minutes until the stretch was comfortable. Ichigo nipped at her neck as he pleased her, the moans escaping her lips and her fingers pulling at the back belt loops of his jeans. This made him harder, until he was ready also, dropping his pants, sliding on a condom, removing her bra, and settling atop her. He pulled her legs around his waist, kissing her and whispering in her ear. "I've been saving myself just for you." the way she bit her lips as he entered her made Ichigo confident in his actions. He thrust at a medium pace, Rukia flexing her flower gradually tighter around his member as a sign she wanted him to thrust a bit faster. His heart beat against hers, the blood flowing through his veins with the effort as her fingers stroked down his spine. He shivered, groping her breasts as he continued pleasing her and himself. Ichigo kissed her deeply, tongue stroking hers as she ran the tip of it down the roof of his mouth. A gasp from Rukia let Ichigo know she was close. He slowed, but his thrusts were heavier, putting more force behind them.
"Ichigo..." she moaned, rolling them over on the bed so she was on top. She moved her hips in a circle, pleasing Ichigo with the velvety inside of her flower. She made a pattern of circling his member inside of her for thirty seconds, and riding him for a few minutes at a time. The two of them bit their lips as they neared finishing, Rukia holding Ichigo close, his head in her hand and her mouth on his neck, kissing into the flesh relentlessly. The climax washed over them in a wave of delight. Rukia removed herself from him, and Ichigo got up and trashed the condom, the two of them redressing. Climbing back on the bed, he put an arm around her waist, and she turned over, giving him a kiss in return.
"I thought I was too immature for you." He laughed.
"No. You're just the right amount of innocent fool and try hard teenager for me." She said, smiling.
"They've got a winter fireworks festival going on tonight..." Ichigo started, but was surprised to hear a familiar boom from his. He and Rukia turned over, opening the shade.
"I guess tonight came sooner than you thought." she mused, indigo eyes sparkling as they reflected the rainbow explosions in the starry sky.
"I guess so." he agreed, lacing their fingers together as they watched the fireworks from their bed.