Well, well, well dear readers I present to you some even crazier than any story I have ever tried. My other stories will come, but while I have writer's block I'll be working on this. The sheer hilarity of this story should keep me interested forever. Love ya all and remember to review!

I would have never guessed that day, that boring Monday the seventeenth of April, would turn my life into the raging twisted mess of all things maddening that it has become. It had only been the day before, that glorious, ordinary Sunday, in which Alan Larkin had spoken to me. He hadn't said much, only that he liked the book I was reading and how was I enjoying it? Of course I said I like it very much and he smiled his beautiful, trumpet-blowing, angel-choir-singing, praise-the-Lord smile, which, naturally, sent me melting into my seat with an overpowering sense of accomplishment for having impressed Alan by enjoying a book. Sometimes he tries to talk to me, out of charity of course, but I can't answer him very well, which is a shame because Alan is one of the rare people who actually do talk to me. Everyone else just ignores me.

My name is Elizabeth Earling and I am sixteen years old. Well…almost sixteen, but my birthday is only a month away so it's basically like being sixteen except it's not. Which basically makes no sense.

Let me try this again.

My name is Elizabeth Earling and I am almost sixteen. There. Oh! I'm also in the eleventh grade! I know, I'm quite young to be in eleventh grade, but Mom and Dad thought I was ready at an early age to begin school. This brings me to my parents.

Mom is a fashion designer, which is strange because I have absolutely no concept of fashion. Or interest. Dad is, well, gone.

Okay before you start the sympathy speech, I didn't say he was dead, just…gone. Neither Mother nor I know where he is. One day, about a year ago, he got an urgent call from someone he didn't know, crying for help. Dad owns a nursing home company and so he thought one of his patients was calling for assistance and accidentally dialed his number instead of the nurse's. He never came back. I don't talk about it much: one because it makes me sad and two because I don't know what to say. I know about as much as anyone else. Dad is gone. Maybe dead. Maybe Kidnapped. Maybe…something else, who knows. Anyway the point is he isn't around.

Mom probably took it worse than I did. She's never been very confident and always has to have someone around to balance her out. Recently this guy at work has been flirting with her and she's not sure how to take it. He's a cosmetics salesman, but it's obvious he's more interested in the people he's selling them to than the actual cosmetics.

Anyway back to me. Er, that sounded self-centered, didn't it? Let's try this one more time. You can see I'm not really used to narrating my life.

Anyway, I'd like to talk a bit more about myself now that I've grounded the basis for which you are acquainted with my parents on…er about…er something.

Alright, just never mind, if I screw up, ignore me, okay? This is getting obnoxious.

Anyway, I'm a pretty ordinary high school student. Sort of. Well for the most part. Alright I confess, I'm a bit of a nerd. I wear big bulky glasses, and I have rebellious brown hair that's too curly for its own good, and my eyes are this grayish blue blah color, and they're not exciting or pretty at all, and my school uniform is always tucked in just so, and my idea of an ideal afternoon is spending time in the library or with the Mathletes. One because I enjoy reading and Math and two because Alan Larkin also loves to go to the library and he happens to be the captain of the Mathlete team at my school. Drool…

Alright I bet you're wondering who he is because I haven't told you and I don't know what to say. He's this really awesome, super sweet, ultra gorgeous guy at my school. Well maybe not ultra gorgeous, I mean he isn't one of those guys that are too good looking, like the Hollywood guys. He has this really nice, sincere look about him that make his features gentle and reassuring. He's just wonderful. He's also the Captain of the swim team and he's the Co-Captain of the track team and he's a really good piano player. So basically he's perfect.

And I'm not.

But that's probably not interesting you because you don't know him, unless you're one of those girls like me who drool over imaginary guys. Well actually I don't. Just over Alan. Who's so perfect he might as well be imaginary. Which he isn't. Duh.

Anyway I'm getting myself tongue-tied, I need to get on with the story.

So basically this is what happened. It's Monday and I'm walking home from school because it's over for the day, right? Well you wouldn't know, what am I asking you for? Anyway. I am walking home, like I said. Well actually, that's wrong, too. I was going to the library, partially to return Emma, which I read and loved, and partially to see if I could sneak a peek at Alan if he happened to be there. Which he wasn't. Go figure.

But anyway I dropped off the book and said hi to this girl named Allison, who is sometimes nice to me. She waved and looked away, probably embarrassed that she had acknowledged my existence. I headed back out the door and down the street that connects into the other street that connects into mine. The town I live in isn't very big so walking from the library to my house is like a breeze in the park. Sort of.

Well anyway, I stopped into the local pharmacy to get some aspirin for my Mom. As I reached into my wallet I realized that I didn't have enough change, which is nerve-racking because Jeff, the guy who owns and runs the place, isn't the sort of person you want waiting on you. He's really big and sullen looking and can't say two words to you without sounding like you killed his father and he wants revenge.

So there I was, stuck at the counter with Jeff, half praying Jeff wouldn't kill me and half praying change would magically appear in my pocket, when suddenly a small hand carrying coins clasped mine, dropping the contents onto my palm as it did so. I looked up to the owner and saw…

No one.

I looked down to see a small little girl dressed in ragged clothing smiling up at me. My heart went out to her immediately.

"Here," she said in the cutest little voice you have ever heard in your life, "take it."

I felt like going home and asking Mom "Can we keep her?" What a dear sweet child she was! But her clothing! She couldn't possibly have money to waste on a stranger!

I put the coins back into her hands, smiling as I did so. "That's so sweet of you, but I think you need this more than I do."

The girl cocked her head to the side and her smile turned ever so impish. "No, no, I want you to have this." She dumped the coins back into my hands.

"Look, can you hand over the money already? Seriously, I don't have all day for you to rehearse your stupid love-scene," Jeff said irritably.

I grimaced at his repulsive choice of words, but the girl looked vehement, almost wild with indignation.

"You," she said sharply, pointing her finger at her, "are a very rude man!"

Well that was obvious. But what happened wasn't. I heard an explosion and suddenly Jeff was on the floor screaming and I was dropping the change on the floor and running outside with the girl.

"What just happened?" I said as soon as I could catch my breath. "Is he okay? What happened to him? What was that sound?"

The girl's indignation still held. "He was rude. So I punished him."

I blinked and stared at her, incredulous. "What?"

She turned to me angrily. "I punished him! He deserved it! All you were doing was trying to pay for that bottle of whatever it was you were getting. Men today…" She turned away again, glaring back at the store.

I continued to stare in surprise. Suddenly her girlish features didn't seem very girly anymore. Her flushed cheeks and self-righteously turned-up nose had an almost otherworldly quality to them. Suddenly she didn't look quite human.

She turned back to me again, her expression serene and demure as it had once been. "I'm sorry, but people like that make me very upset. I try to control my emotions, but every now and then I just snap."

I nodded stupidly.

"Anyway, I've been watching you."

Eh?

Her smile was radiant now, her features angelic. She took my hands in hers and stared up into my eyes with overwhelming joy. "I never thought I'd find the right person for the right story, but then you showed up and you're just perfect!"

This was news.

"It's such a shame about your father. Your mother will probably have to remarry again and your Stepfather will be…oh, no that's what happened to Cinderella. Or was it the Stepmother? Yes, I remember her. Boy, was she ever something."

My brain ached from the confusion. Who or what was this person? And what did she know about my father?

"Well, still I bet if she remarried him it would it a little zest or something. Maybe a conceivable plot-twist. Oh, but how could I work that out? Gregory is his son! That will never work! Unless…" her face became impish again. "Unless...I went there! Oh, how scandalous! Oh, the dilemma!" She turned to me and stopped smiling. "Why are you staring at me in that ridiculous manner?"

My eyes were probably bulging out of their sockets by now. She had to be mad! I blinked and shook my head confusedly.

The smile returned. "Goodness, me, I'm sorry. All of this mumble-jumble has probably gotten you a bit baffled."

I nodded.

"I am the Fairy Belinda and you are going to be the heroine in my next fairy tale!"