This is my first one-shot for a UsUk fanfic. To completely understand the meaning behind the title, you must hear the song My Immortal by Evanescence. Of course you don't need to hear it to understand the story. It just gives you a very emotional feel of the pain that these two went through. I shall offer a link to not only the song, but of a video I found of them with it. For the video, search up [APH] USUK-My Immortal on youtube. It should be by xWakaLakaAlchemistx

For the song go here:

(Youtube)/watch?v=t6cZZgwFBX4

I only found the video after I wrote this story. It made it seem even sadder :'( However, I still really hope that you enjoy my story!

Time Cannot Erase

The memories were faint, but they were still within his clouded mind. There wasn't a night when Britain didn't dream of that time. He could still remember the rain pouring and the loud shouting. And the board back turning on him. Leaving him alone once again. Only mud laid beneath him, but he felt lower than the ground entirely. Britain didn't cry. He wouldn't cry. Not until America was out of his sights did he let out all his tears. He let them drop one by one until he no longer had any tears to shed.

But that was just a nightmare about a long time ago. It had been many years since that day. He couldn't deny that he had dreamt of it again today. His bedroom sheets were soaked from his sweat. Why do I always stress out like this? Why do I let it get to me? Of course he knew the answer to his painful feelings. But he just couldn't let it go. Every time he met with America since that day, Britain had to hold everything back. Cause if he had let his emotions out in front of him, Britain's weakness would be shown.

So just as every other morning, he forced all these thoughts out of his mind. This would at least convince him to get out of bed. When reality snapped him back, he dressed in his regular green uniform and brushed his blonde hair in the bathroom. Britain splashed cold water in his face (hoping it would keep him together). But it didn't matter what he did, because even if you couldn't see his weariness, you could still see the redness in his eyes. The eyes that had cried somewhere during the cold night.

"Shit..." Britain could hardly stand himself sometimes.

Times like these were hard. Especially in the month of July. The same month that happened. But he had to keep it together somehow. Britain exited the bathroom and then his bedroom. He made his way down the long hallway that lead to the many guest bedrooms (although since baby America, no guests have ever stayed). After making his daily tea in the kitchen, he brought the cups outside to his garden. The garden was a couple yards from his house. There were all sorts of flower beds surrounding the center of the garden. In the center, a white table with two chairs on either side had been placed.

This is where he placed his tea cups every day. And just like today, he would sit down on one of the chairs with a newspaper in hand. It was peaceful to be out in the garden. There were many beautiful torenias, scaevolas, begonias, and bacopas. Filling the area with purples and whites, the flowers brought him great joy. And they also took his mind off of things. Out here the air was fresh, and it was a rare sunny day. The flowers in his garden didn't require much sunlight, but it was still good to have.

Whenever he felt lonely, Britain would chat with the flower fairies that would come by. Their wings were glittery, and they had long flowing hair. The flower fairies were very happy people so they loved to chat with him about almost anything. It was a time that Britain could actually be himself around another creature. For this, he was really thankful to them. But the fairies would eventually move on, and Britain was left alone again.

None had come by today however. So instead, he was reading through the newspaper about the recent economic issues of the country, when he heard the sound of shoes makes its way loudly through the green grass. Looking at the direction where his house was, America appeared in his eyes. His green eyes meet his dazzling blue across the garden. The glasses before his eyes just made them more appealing. Closer and closer America came to him. Britain placed down his cup of tea that he was drinking from. He tried to not seem surprised...but it was really hard to put on a big front. America never came by this time of year. And he wasn't sure if he could handle his feelings right now.

"Yo! What's up Britain?" He said with the same loud voice he always had. And the same stupid smile he always had. Memories of the grinning little boy came within his mind. As if flashing before his eyes, it all came back. The memories of giving piggy back rides, sleeping next to baby America, building little toy soldiers for him, leaving Britain in the rain, and crying somewhere no one could see. But he didn't want America to know of his pain so he tried to scowl. Eventually he was able to say,

"It's not very polite to come over to someone's house without their permission first. Learn some damn manners! Stupid American..." he grumbled the last part.

America simply smiled at him and took a seat in the other chair. It was hard to take his mind off of things when the damn wanker was here. But America kept trying to keep the conversation going while Britain just pretended to read the newspaper. He kept going on about his visits to Japan and how small their order of fries was compared to the ones in his country.

"Well it's not quite surprising considering you eat like a pig! If anything you're the one with an irregular amount of fries at your fast food places." Britain nagged at him. Telling him how his health was important. Well he really was just trying to distract himself.

Seeing those blue eyes, hearing the loud laughter, and looking at the awkward cowlick that shoots up from his head was all too much for him. God! He just wanted to cry. Whether it was from the happiness or the sadness of America being here, he did not know. But America was so beautiful and the day was so sunny. He wondered why America would want to spend his day with him. Britain really wasn't much, and he wasn't very entertaining. So then why was America here? Laughing at everything he said. Pretending like there wasn't anything wrong between them. But Britain knew. America even knew there was. Why doesn't he just go away?

Britain could handle seeing him in meetings since other people were there. But here they were alone together. Just like back then. Was it wrong that he wanted to scream and hit him, but also want to hold onto to him forever?

After chatting for hours, America finally got out of the chair.

"Hey Britain, do you mind if I come back here tomorrow?"

Britain looked up at him in surprise. His whole demeanor had changed. Everything seemed way more serious. He wasn't use to seeing America like this. Subconsciously, he found himself wanting to say,

"I don't mind at all."

America was rather astonished by his unexpected answer, but he quickly smiled and turned away.

"See you tomorrow!"

Although Britain knew he was returning tomorrow, it still pained him to see that back turned on him. The clothing was different from that time, but the back side was still the same. Britain still saw the time slipping. He use to be small enough to fit in my arms. Now he's big enough to destroy me. Every time he saw that back, that is what he thought. Baby America had taken over his mind, so it was hard to move on. It was hard to see that America had grown up. And it was hard to accept that he was no longer a child. No longer his little brother...

Since then, America has been coming over for an entire week. And all that week has been sunny. Britain was wondering if this was God's way of torture or his way of a blessing (he was mostly sure it was the first one). They both would chat about mostly anything. America spoke of the horror movies he had seen recently, and Britain would tease him for being scared by those stupid stories.

On a couple of the passing days, they would walk on the garden's open paths and stare at the flowers. The garden had never been here when America was a child. So he took his time in showing him around. Britain told America everything he knew about each of the flowers. He didn't have a lot to say about bacopas, however, for they were very plain flowers. But even so, America seemed very interested in this small and white flower rather than the prettier looking ones.

Britain even tried looking for the flower fairies. However, he couldn't find any of them around. Introducing them to America was one of the things he wanted to do. But America jut wore a funny expression as he peered on. As if I was the insane one! So he decided to give up on it (there was no way the alien-loving wanker was going to get along with a bunch of fairies anyway).

Although, he never did give up on something else that was irritating him. Britain kept letting America come back here every day. Will I ever give this up? He didn't want to be with him like this. At least that was what he kept telling himself. Over and over again. He still stole quick glances at his handsome face, but instantly looked away after a couple of seconds. The churning in his stomach made it almost impossible for him to sleep. Every morning he felt like vomiting to make himself feel better.

But this was a very wrong thing to do. He shouldn't have been speaking with America like this. It would only hurt him more. Every time Britain looked into America's eyes, they would glow at him. They never have done that before. Why does he look at me like that? So many bad thoughts were slowly eating away at him.

Continuing like this, it wasn't healthy. So he had to tell America that today was their last meeting in the garden. At least for a long while. But Britain was starting to think that he never wanted this to happen again. Was he just being selfish? Every since America's constant visits, his nightmares were getting worse. He woke up crying that morning, and he wasn't sure if it was going to stop.

He had to hit himself to stop. Yelling at himself and hitting the wall with his fist. Britain wasn't going to last much longer. And he was scared that America was going to see his eyes, and realize he had been crying.

But he still managed to get everything ready. And just like the past week, he sat at the table and waited for America. The wind blew softly through his hair. He tried to calm his breathing and took many sips of tea. Nothing helped him though. Not even staring at the flowers surrounding the table helped.

The white bacopas reminded him of his dullness. While the other flowers were bright and colorful like America. Did a bacopa even stand a chance with a torenia? The white bacopa was so plain, small, and simply had five petals opened up to the sky. Its beauty was dim against the beauty of the torenia. The torenias were unique. They were a lovely purple that grew lighter in the inside. Their petals had a beautiful movement, and they were not only open to the sky but to everything.

Britain wished that he was different. That he could be a beautiful flower. Maybe if he was, then America would never have left him alone in the first place. But that was only wishful thinking. His eyes started to water. Why was this making him sad? The flowers had always made him feel better. That's why he was always out here in the garden. That's why this garden was built.

It seems that today, everything had failed him. Just like everything seemed to eventually. He had lost himself. So when he heard America's footsteps, he didn't look up. He just kept staring at the flowers across from him. Noticing that the torenias were far away from where the bacopas were planted.

The irony almost made his much needed tears to come out, but he kept everything back. Just like he always had.

"Britain?" America whispered. He stared at Britain and sounded very concerned for him. He could very well see that by America's passionate eyes behind those glimmering glasses. Even if he wasn't crying, America must have noticed his red eyes by now.

Does he notice my pain? No. He has never known my pain. He has never tried to understand. America followed Britain's gaze that laid upon the flowers. He stood silently for awhile, but then made his way over to the bacopas. Britain eyes went wide. What was he doing? America bent down and plucked one of the bacopas from the ground. Walking over to Britain, he carried the tiny flower in his right hand. Feeling numb, Britain hardly felt America's touch when he placed the flower behind his ear. America admired the flower in Britain's hair and smiled.

"You know... I think the bacopa is my favorite flower."

Britain stared up at him with fearful eyes. Why was he saying this to him?

"Maybe to others they seem quite dull; however to me that's what makes them so special. And I admire them more than anything in the whole world." America shined a genuine smile. But that did Britain in. He couldn't hold back the pain anymore. Tears flowed from his eyes. How had America seen through him this time? America has never said the right thing before. But now he was, and Britain just couldn't take it.

"Please stop...I can't take it anymore! Stop coming around here! Stop pretending like everything is fine when it isn't! God I hate it! I hate you!" His voice was shaky from feeling so stressed.

"I..." America stepped back. The precious smile of his was no longer there. His eyes grew watery, and he turned his back on Britain. That same back that had walked away from him so many times before.

"I'm so sorry Britain..." he said it so quietly that Britain could hardly hear it. Then America started to walk away. Past the torenias' flower bed he went. The same walk, the same back, the same feeling was all there for Britain. But he didn't want to let this go. Not this time. The tears just became heavier and rivers seemed to flow down his cheeks. He needed his legs to move right now! But they just wouldn't. America was no longer his little brother. America wasn't his anymore. So what right did he have to stop him?

But even still, he wasn't going to let him go. America may not need him, but he needed America. Finally, his legs started to move. He sprinted down the freshly mowed path that leads to his house. Britain called out to America in hope he would listen,

"Please come back! Don't leave me alone again!"

His words echoed in his mind. And suddenly time stopped. Britain halted himself, standing there, he watched as America turned around. Those blue eyes were filled with tears now. The only time he had seen America actually cry, was when he was a child. Now as the grown America cried, Britain felt his knees go weak.

America ran straight for Britain. Nothing else was there but them. He ran right into Britain with his arms held out. Hugging him tightly, Britain was caught off balanced. They somehow turned and landed into the torenias' flower bed. Britain landed hard on the flowers. While America was barely right on top of him, staring down to meet his green eyes.

America's strong arms kept him from falling right on his chest. Britain's thighs could feel one of America's legs between them. The feeling was so nice and new. To be entangled with America like this, in his garden, was paradise. Having America so close to him, with the torenias surrounding them, was like a far off dream.

But he couldn't ignore the pain he still felt. And obviously neither could America, for his tears landed on Britain's cheeks.

"Alone? I didn't mean to ever leave you alone!" America's voice cracked as he tried to say the words.

"You're the one who made me feel alone! You always treated me like a little brother! And we aren't even blood related. We..we.. just found each other one day. So why did you keep treating me like a little kid? I wanted to be your equal. So that you would never look at me like that again. I wanted to be your side. So I tried to be a better me. Then maybe, one day, you would see me for who I really am!" America was shouting all of this. It was so loud that it banged against his ears. But maybe it wasn't the loudness that made his ears want to bleed. It was the words that America was saying.

"America I had no id-"

"Of course you didn't! You never once tried to understand me! And I have to admit that... I only saw myself too. I never meant to make you cry. But I did. And nothing is ever going to take back what happened. I regret doing it! I regret it so much! Because even now you look at me the same! I could never tell you how I felt. You always just saw me as a little boy. You..." he paused for awhile to catch his breath before saying,

"You never saw me as a man! So how could I tell you how much I loved you? You obviously didn't feel the same way I did."

Britain stared right into his blue eyes. The eyes that shone from the sun reflecting off his tears (his glasses must have fallen, from his running, somewhere on the path). Wait. Did Britain hear correctly? No it couldn't be.

"You love me?" Britain whispered softly.

America's facial expression was full of determination, but also hesitation. Britain's heart started to beat faster and faster. Waiting for his single response seemed like hours to Britain. But finally...finally he spoke,

"Yes... I have always loved you Britain." America managed to smile through his tears. But that smile was different than the others. Britain didn't see the little boy that he once knew. Everything had change. The America right in front of him was an adult. And finally, Britain let all his tears out. All the tears he had ever wanted to shed poured out of him. All of them, right in front of America (the only one he knew could comfort him).

Britain lifted his arms off the ground and wrapped them around America's warm neck. Pulling him close, their soft lips met. They held the kiss for as long as they could. Taking it all in, as if they would never meet again. This is what Britain always wanted. Being here with America like this. Their lips finally parted, and they both breathed heavily. Britain's face flushed as he said,

"I love you too...America. I'm...I really am proud of you. And I finally see how foolish I've been. You're not a little kid anymore. I'm so sorry. But I know now how much I've always loved you. And right now, I love you even more than I did back then. You really grew up to be a fine young man." Britain grinned as he said everything he had been meaning to say. And it actually felt really good. He wasn't going to be selfish anymore. He was going to do his best at understanding America from now on. Because, at the end of the day, they both needed each other more than anything else in the whole world.

When he tried to sit up, America just forced him back down to the ground in a hug. Britain winced at the small pain in his back and smiled. He found himself returning the hug. And they laid there for awhile in each other's arms. Until America finally said,

"I've always wanted to hear those words from you. Thank you for loving someone like me."

Britain blushed madly as happiness over took him. All the worries he ever had disappeared with those words.

"Stupid wanker! I'm the one who should be saying that! So just shut up and hold me closer!"

They both just laughed as they moved against on the flowers beneath them. Britain noticed that the bacopa had fallen out from behind his ear during some point. Most likely it had been crushed with all the torenias. I guess the two flowers really could be together somehow.

But Britain was too busy at the moment to really be sure where it went. All happy thoughts filled him as he stared into America's eyes. Nothing could ever take back those wasted years of not being together. There would never be a day when they didn't remember the event that had separated them. But starting today, both of them were going to make up for all those long years of being apart. Time cannot erase all that has happened between them. But somehow...time was going to bring them closer and closer together from now on.