The birds outside made her realize she had stayed up all night and Katie rolled to her left side and looked out the window and the gravity pulled the tears out of her eyes onto her blanket and she blankly stared out of the window. For some reason she was not tired she felt like she felt fine but her eyes never closed, as she kicked her legs over the edge of the bed and stood slowly what felt like slow motion she fell and landed on her knees. Letting out a yelp she rolled into a ball and felt her shoulders tremble continously.

"Kit Kat- ohhh hun" Marisol said as she got up from the other side of Katie's bed and nearly ran around the bed to her best friend. Katie felt Marisol pull her up and rest on her shoulder but the girl couldn't help but feel like she was sitting alone in complete, darkness.

Marisol rested her cheek on Katie's head and looked at her phone wanting to call Mo and ask him to bring ice cream and chick flicks because she couldn't leave right now but at that very moment all she wanted to do was find Drew and kill him. Saturday was mostly spent with Katie on the floor because the girl wasn't moving and everytime she did she saw something in her room that reminded her of the lost boyfriend who she thought she loved and was there as she thought through her rehab. He visited once and she noticed a different look in his eye but she ignored it because she just wanted to be held and he did that just that nothing more- didn't talk like Mar didn't ask her anything like her parents or try to give her anything like her doctor. Just sat there she could still feel his arms reaching around her and locked onto each other, he didn't squeeze just let her sit there like she needed.

Katie thought she did everything right, she was there for him when he was at his lowest but he couldn't provide the same for her. At first he did, never asked to much just was there and listened.

Katie let out a muffled whine into Marisol's shoulder, she wanted to scream like a mad woman just to get what she needed out but it wasn't going to help. Once Katie could sit up she looked at Marisol who just looked worried and quickly stood, "Umm you can go hang out with M-"

"Katie I'm here for you Mo can wait until tomorrow or next week" Marisol said leaving Katie with a smile.

"I just want to go for a walk by myself- please"

"Umm- I'll go to the store and pick up everything with Ryan Gosling" she said before patting Katie on the back but not leaving yet. Katie was watched by Marisol as she put a jacket over her tank top and sneakers that went with her yoga pants. Her and Marisol left at the same time she watched Marisol pull out of the drive way.

She waved at her friend before turning down the oppisite side of the street, she didn't pay attention to where she was going she just walked and as the sky got darker she realized she was going to be walking in the rain soon. She should show up to Drew's crying and in the rain to be dramatic and she smiled imagining what would never happen. She'd get to his houe and knock and Adam would probably answer his face would look like a frightened clown with the thunder and lighten flashing and clapping behind Katie and he'd call Drew to the back door. Drew would be probably eating something or playing a video game and he'd come up to the door and make her step back into the rain just to avoid being close to him.

"Katie I'm-"

"No actually I'm sorry for wasting my time on someone who never cared or just us-used me to try to let go of someone who could get him killed! You're thinking 'she's pretty dramatic' and 'what was I thinking?' well I'm thinking the same thing. You used m-me Drew" Katie stammered starting to feel the wind pick up making her hair whip infront of her face sticking there because she was wet. That one tear that stayed in the corner of her eye as she talked would finally drop and Drew would drop his head and rub the back of his neck like he always did and Katie would feel a little better and start to walk away.

"Katie!" would cause her to spin around, Drew entered the rain and walked toward her- in slow motion because remember this is all in her head. Drama remember the drama here, "I'm sorry- I never ment to-" he start before she turned around and start walking away from him. His touch of her arm to stop her would again make her stop dead and look at him.

"I nearly died and you were there- and that's what I needed, you I needed someone like you to help me and you did. Nothing we were was a waste! Katie!" she'd try to pull away again and this time suceed and she'd walk away she didn't want to listen to him anymore just him talking would what got her to fall for him so not letting him talk would make this eaiser. Getting out of the gate she'd stop in the front yard and look up at the rain and give herself time to take a deep breath. She didn't need him to hold her, she could hold herself up and continue on.

Katie found herself sitting on a bench realizing she didn't even need to go see him to realize she didn't need him. Katie moved her hair from her face and put her head down, but still it would be hard for her not to have Drew there like he was before.

"Katie!" she heard and she jolted her head up to Marisol and Mo getting out of the car to Katie hugging her knees on the bench infront of some random stores. Looking at them through the rain Mo handed Marisol her umbrella and helped to get Katie to standing she stared at him.

"Thank you Mo." Katie said looking up at him.

"No problem" Mo responded almost robotic.

"No for being- honest" she said before getting in the car Mo and Marisol looked at each other and Marisol sighed and let Mo drive after getting into the back seat Katie held onto her legs again and Marisol looked behind her to take ahold of her friends hand. The worry in Marisol's eyes made Katie feel guilty. She mouthed to the girl I'm fine and still Marisol's slightly relaxed face still shown through worry. Marisol still held Katie's hand but turned around and told Mo to go to an address Katie missed and then looked back at her. As they pulled up Katie realized where they were. Drew's, Katie didn't want to get out and Marisol didn't allow her to. She got out before Mo could grab her umbrella and Katie watched her friend walk into the rain ruining her hair and everything and that alone made Katie jump up and out of the car following Mo after her. Getting to the backyard Marisol had already had Drew's basement door wide up and was yelling at someone. Katie stood under the umbrella with Mo watching her best friend shout at Drew, her voice was gone and she was cold so hiding behind Mo slightly she used him for a blockage and well warmth.

"You're a fucking scumbag Drew Torres- I hope you fucking get some kind of disease because you remember who Bianca is! If you ever, EVER! Talk to Katie again I will gladly rip your balls off and feed them to you you piece of shit!" she said as Drew meerily put his hands in his pockets Marisol went to swing at him and that's the second when Mo moved and left katie standing the rain because Bianca had come out and was coming toward Marisol. Mo picked up Marisol and spun her away from the angry girl who had been controlled by Drew and Adam but Drew's eyes were stuck on Katie who probably looked like she was in a rainstorm because she was of emotions and in the literal sense. Adam brought Bianca inside and Mo pulled Marisol back toward the car leaving Drew and Katie in the rain. Drew just stared at her and Katie dropped his gaze and licked the rain of her lip it was salty so she knew she was crying again.

"Katie I-" she just turned and held up one hand and walked away from him leaving him standing the rain. She returned to the car and Marisol was sitting inside of the car with Mo, and she saw her friend shouting at her boyfriend and Katie narrowed her eyes angry- with herself for making them fight. She looked down feeling like she was ruining things all around. Mo must have spotted Katie because he and Marisol got out of the car and Marisol started toward her.

"Oh Katie" she said hugging her friend and Mo just stood there holding the umbrella over the girls looking beyond them seeing Drew standing the gate watching. Katie was starting to feel numb and it felt good for once and her legs felt like they were being taken out from the back of her knees she wanted to collapse and just cry and well she did her knees finally gave out and Marisol taught her with help from Mo and glared at Drew as she walked Katie to the car. Katie watched him put his head in his hand and slightly in the back of her head she hoped he felt terrible. Was this just the dramatic teen angst inside of her or was Katie fighting the urge to make her self permentally numb like before.

She went home with Marisol and watched movies until she went to sleep and found herself in her bed alone again Marisol was gone with a small text in her phone.

"Left w/ Mo, you need sleep. Rest KitKat n please call when you wake up. I love you n he just wasn't good enough for you n all the amazingness that is you. xoxo Mar"

Katie put her phone down and stared out the window again but this time she didn't get up she closed her eyes and stayed there for the rest of the Sunday.