"Don't forget this Chicago jerk, okay?"

"I won't remember anything else."

She shook her head pushing the memories of that horrible night out of her mind. Five years had gone by and she still couldn't forget it…maybe she never would. There were certain moments that made her think about it even more. When she looked at Regina and saw his face. When she walked around the house they had both worked so hard to make a home. When he called to let her know their daughter had landed safely or had already boarded the plane home. Or, like in that moment, when she sat alone at night and went through their wedding photos.

[sixteen years ago]

"You look absolutely beautiful." Melinda helped her zip her wedding gown. "He'll be on his knees the moment he sees you."

"I hope so," Olivia laughed nervously. She had never thought this day would come. Never expected Hank and herself to get married but there they were. One rainy night walking the cold streets of New York, he got down on one knee and asked her to be his wife.

They had met at a conference in Chicago nearly four years ago. At first, she hadn't liked him. He looked rough and from what she had heard he wasn't an easy cop. He was actually the kind of man she didn't like…or so she thought. Two nights after the beginning of the conference, they went out for a beer and didn't spend a day apart until she had to head back home. From that moment on, Hank flew over every other weekend just to be with her; even if it was for twenty-four hours. But after two years of dating, when Olivia couldn't handle the distance anymore, he surprised her by moving to New York. He got a job at the same precinct and, even though they weren't partners, they worked together for years.

"I do," Olivia said with the brightest smile on her face before Voight slipped the ring onto her finger.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Hank grinned as he wrapped his hands around her waist pulling her towards him. He pressed his lips passionately on hers kissing his wife for the first time. Olivia had butterflies on her stomach and happy tears rolled down her face as she walked down the aisle with her newly husband. She couldn't imagine a better life, she would never be happier than with that man by her side. Hank Voight was everything she needed and more. He made her feel loved, seen and wanted. What else could she possibly want? What else could she ever need?

"I still can't believe this is your wedding and you're marrying this guy." Brian took a sip of his beer as he leaned against the bar where Olivia was getting a Manhattan.

"You better believe it because it's real."

"Seems crazy that you left my bed to go to that conference and came back in love with this jerk."

"Hey, that's my husband you are talking about." She shoved Cassidy playfully before taking a sip of her drink. "We weren't dating, Brian. We were just fooling around."

"But you liked it."

"I did. But I've loved Hank from the moment we started talking. No fooling around was worth letting him go."

"That hurts my feelings, Liv." He said jokingly.

"We are partners. Busting perps together is what we do best."

"Sex was done pretty good as well."

"Leave that in the past." Olivia kissed his cheek and walked away.

Hank watched their interaction from the other side of the salon and he couldn't help but feel the jealousy boil within himself. He didn't like Brian and they had never been able to get along. Voight knew there was history between them and, as hard as he had tried, he couldn't push that out of his mind. Olivia had reassured him on multiple occasions that whatever had happened with Cassidy was over. She never explained what exactly had happened or how she had felt about him. And what bothered Hank the most was that Brain used his position as her partner for his benefit. He didn't trust Cassidy but he trusted his wife and that should be enough to keep the jealousy at bay…sometimes it was difficult.

"I see Cassidy is enjoying himself."

"Don't do that, Henry." She would only call him Henry when they discussed Brian or they were fighting.

"I was just saying."

"You never just say something when it comes to him." He was sitting down so she stood between his legs rubbing his arms. "I'm your wife, okay? He's just my partner."

"I know how deep the bond with your partner goes."

"Is there something you'd like to tell me about Fin and you?"

"You know what I mean, Benson."

She leaned down and softly kissed his lips before tugging at his tongue. "It is our wedding day, can we enjoy it?"

"Yes," he kissed he neck teasingly. "Let's enjoy it, wife."

They danced all night with their friends and enjoyed that day which they would never forget. It had been perfect; everything Olivia had ever dreamed about. When it came to the wedding plans, Voight had left everything in her hands. After all, he just cared about marrying her no matter where the wedding took place or how grand the party was. But he knew she wanted the perfect celebration on her special day and he did everything in his power to make it great for her. "We're only getting married once so it has to be perfect," she had said the night they started making plans. To him perfect meant having her as his wife.

"Unzip me." Olivia turned around with her back to him. It was three in the morning and they had finally reached the hotel bedroom.

"Yes, ma'am." He slowly started unzipping the wedding gown. As the zipper went down, he kissed every inch of her exposed skin. He could feel the scent of her citrus lotion lingering on his nose, the one she always wore knowing it drove him crazy. She had been wearing it the first night they slept together and after him saying he loved it, she had never changed lotions again. The scent of it reminded them of crazy nights, long talks and profound confessions of love. That night wouldn't be any different.

When her dress hit the floor he scooped her up in his arms and deposited her on the bed. She kept her eyes on him while she took her white lace underwear off and he got undressed. None of them spoke and in that moment it all felt like the first time. The first time they would see each other naked. The first time they would have sex. They were now husband and wife so they would actually have a lot of firsts. Maybe that was the perfect time to have sex as a married couple for the first time.

Hank got on top of her and started planting small kisses on her body. He kissed from her lips down to her neck. Her chest to the top of her breasts making her nipples harden at the simplest touch. Along her stomach to her hips and then her lips again. His hands slowly finding their way up her thighs making her body shiver slightly. His lips focused their attention on her neck as he gently thrusted his hips begging for permission to enter…permission that was immediately granted.

"I love you," Olivia whispered in his ear as he started moving his hips at a faster pace. She could feel his body gently slamming against hers and sweat drops forming between her breasts and along his chest. Her body arched –he felt her hard nipples against his skin– as he thrusted his body going deeper in her hitting her core. He felt her wet walls tightening around him as she got closer to climax. Voight moved his face down and took her right nipple between his lips slowly caressing it with his tongue. Olivia couldn't control the growl that escaped her lips as she got closer to the edge and she dug her nails on his back leaving her very personal mark. He pushed his hips harder against her and they both moaned as he hit her g-spot and spilled his seed in her.

"Happy wedding to us," she said as she panted trying to catch her breath, her chest raising up and down.

Voight rolled off her and onto his back with a smirk on his face. "That was great newlyweds' sex, Mrs. Henry Voight."

"Mrs. Henry Voight," she repeated to herself. "Your wife is hungry."

"Don't tell me I got you pregnant already."

"Maybe." Olivia laughed as she got out of bed to grab her glasses from her purse and read the room-service menu. "Do you want anything?"

"Whatever you're having."

"Let's see."

Hank placed his arms behind his head and watched her walk the floor as she read the menu. She had her glasses on the tip of her nose; the way she wore them when her eyes were really tired. He could see the small scar on her thigh from a knife cut. He loved the way her hips swayed every time she turned around to walk back the other way. And when she talked on the phone to order the food, she started playing with her hair like she did when she was at a place but her mind was elsewhere.

She went to take a shower before the food arrived and her mind stayed on Voight the entire time. Olivia couldn't believe she could finally call herself his wife. It had finally happened. Now they could start building their home and start their own family. They had talked about having kids before so she was happy they were on the same page. If there was a man whose kids she wanted, it was Hank Voight. She was ready to be the mother of his children.

"Your food is here."

"It smells great." She got back in bed and snuggled against his side. "Feed me?"

"I'm sorry, I thought I was your husband not your nanny." He was careful not to use the word father, knowing how much it hurt her.

"Please."

"Fine." Voight said pretending to be upset before feeding her a french fry. "Did you only order fries?"

"Yes, I was craving them."

"You are a child, Benson."

"My eating habits are."

"We must agree." He kissed the tip of her nose making her giggle.

"Speaking of children. When are we starting?"

"I thought that's what we just did."

A big smile was drawn on her face. "Really?"

"Well, that's why I didn't wear a condom, right?"

"We better give it another try then," she said with a smirk.

[present time]

The wedding photos were spread around her bed and her glasses were foggy from the tears she had been shedding. Olivia couldn't lie to herself, she missed him and she still loved him. The divorce had been hard on her particularly when she saw how deeply it had affected Regina. Traveling back and forth to Chicago wasn't easy and Benson knew that on some special days the girl needed her father right there. If she could, she would go back in time and change things…but it was too late.

"Why do you torture yourself?" Regina asked as she leaned against the doorframe. "You could just call him."

"And say what exactly? It's been five years but I'm still madly in love with you? Sorry I was such a stupid whore who cheated?" At the beginning, none of them had told the girl why they had a divorce. But, as she grew older and her relationship with her mother stronger, Olivia told her and Regina forgave her.

"Yes, exactly that."

"Thank you, I think I'll pass."

"Who would have thought Olivia Benson was such a coward?"

"Do you honestly want to play that game?" She raised her eyebrow at her daughter. "Have you told him already?"

"No," Regina sighed as she sat next to her mother and allowed her to wrap her arms around her. "I'm scared to tell him."

"Would you like for me to tell him?"

"I think it's something I should tell him."

"Okay," Olivia kissed the top of her head. "But don't take too long or he won't forgive us."

"Do you think I could ask him to fly out here for the weekend? Maybe the three of us can get together. I'll need your support when I talk to him."

"Gina, you know I would do anything for you. Just call him, let him know you need to have a face to face conversation and I'll be by your side."

"Thank you, mom."

If Voight thought his life had changed five years ago, he would never understand what was about to hit him.

Don't give up on me, I promise it'll be good! Reviews are always appreciated.